Six

A Xenosaga fanfic by Princess Artemis

© copyright S.D. Green 2006, 2007 except what is clearly the property and © copyright Namco/Bandai and Monolithsoft

Takes place slightly over six months after Xenosaga II ends. I realize I’ve played a little loose with the timeline (as pertains to Xenosaga III—the timing is right for the laws) and locations, but don’t let it bother too much, as it’s neither important to this story nor to the game, really.

Jin and chaos walked into the café where Allen had indicated he would meet them. The restaurant was on Fifth Jerusalem, in a wealthy town near Bormeo. The café itself seemed fairly low-key, but was not without its own air of refinement. It was quiet, its patrons dressed in unusually archaic suits and elegant dresses, talking softly amongst one another. Jin looked around, located Allen by the color of his hair, for he wore the same type of clothes as the rest of the patrons, and started off in his direction. chaos followed him toward the closest thing the well-lit café had to a dark corner.

When Allen noticed the two approaching, his expression changed to something akin to relief mixed with a poor excuse for a smile. He looked utterly dejected, which was unusual, although both Jin and chaos had seen him upset before. Just not this upset. He was fidgeting with an otherwise untouched glass of water, and finally waved them over.

Jin sat first, then chaos, across from Allen. He stopped playing with his glass and said, "Thanks for coming, guys. I’m really glad you agreed to come out all this way."

"It was no trouble," Jin said.

chaos nodded. "I hope there’s something we can do to help; your message sounded serious."

"Yeah, it is," Allen said, hanging his head. Jin thought it looked very uncomfortable with the stiff collar Allen wore, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by it.

"What is it?" chaos asked.

"Oh, it’s, it’s...it’s awful and it’s really interfering with work. You know, after the Chief left, I was promoted in her place. Chief of Vector’s First R & D Division...but it doesn’t really mean much when half the division hates me for pulling truly horrific practical jokes I had nothing to do with and the rest hardly hear me even if I shout."

Jin raised a brow. "That must be an exaggeration, Allen."

Allen shrugged. "Maybe, about the shouting, but they really are angry with me. Did you hear a while back there was a rumor of a lovelorn Vector employee committing suicide because his boss never noticed him? And that his ghost haunted the city at night?"

"I remember hearing something like that on Second Miltia," chaos said with a nod.

Allen fished around inside his charcoal suit, then pulled a photograph out of a hidden pocket. "See? This is what John Bell found in a closet about a week after the Chief quit. He said that there was a sudden stench, and now he won’t speak to me." He set the photo down so that Jin and chaos could see it easily.

"Good lord," Jin exhaled, picking up the photograph. It depicted Allen, his face slashed nearly beyond recognition, with both wrists slit. Copious blood pooled beneath him, and he appeared to be holding a blood-stained book.

chaos studied the photo over Jin’s shoulder, sitting up a bit to get a better view. Jin muttered an apology to the shorter man and set the photo down. After a while, chaos said, "How could they find something like this?"

"Indeed. It’s self-evident that you’re still alive."

Allen twisted his fingers. "I have no idea. But they did, several other people saw it, and even I smelled it. Whatever that, that, that thing is, it was solid enough that they had to carry it out and they even did an autopsy. It’s impossible, but that’s my body! And worse than that, several Vector employees claim that I’m haunting them, that I drip blood all over their work, walk through walls and stare at them while they’re trying to relax! Then they see me and get angry and tell me to cut it out, but I’m not doing anything. I wouldn’t do something like that!"

chaos reached over and set a gloved hand on Allen’s arm. "I believe you. I know you wouldn’t do something that cruel."

"It does present an interesting problem though," Jin said, his hand on his chin. "Who would do this? How could they cause so-called hauntings?"

Allen shrugged, his expression despairing. "Before the Chief left, I couldn’t tell you who would hate me enough to do something that mean. Most employees who weren’t so busy teasing me about the Chief hardly noticed if I was around or not. After? I could give you a list a hundred feet long. There’s a lot of bad blood between me and many people in First Division." He finally took a tiny sip of water. "At least it hasn’t seemed to have gone past First Division. Miyuki says she’s heard rumors, but that no one in Second Division has seen anything like this.

"What really puzzles me, though, is that whoever is responsible knows things about me that I haven’t told anyone. And they’re typing it on screens, writing it all over the walls in blood." Allen snorted a little. "Of course, I never see any of this, and that just makes people more suspicious."

"This," chaos indicated the photograph, "is only part of the problem, right?"

Allen nodded. "Yeah. Everyone else, I mean, everyone I’m not supposedly terrifying in their sleep, well, they don’t see me. Really. I know I tend to be easy to overlook, but it’s really bad now. Sometimes I’ll say something directly to someone while standing right in front of them, and they’ll just look and act like they didn’t hear a thing. And if by some miracle they do hear me, I have to repeat myself two or three times. They act like they never saw or heard me in the first place, like I wasn’t even there at all! It’s hard to describe. It’s almost impossible to do my job if no one can see or hear me. The KOS-MOS project has practically ground to a halt because of this."

"And this has only been happening since Shion left Vector?" Jin asked.

Allen nodded. "I tried contacting her a couple times, but apparently she can’t see or hear me either. She knows it’s me because of the ID, but I guess she just gets static...she was really annoyed the last time I tried calling, so I stopped."

"Is there anything else we may need to know in order to solve this mystery?" Jin asked.

"Uh...maybe. I didn’t bring any of it with me, though. Some of it’s personal," Allen said. "If you think it would help, you can come to my house and see it..." He trailed off, with a distinct look in his blue eyes that said he hoped they wouldn’t need anything more.

"Anything else probably would help," chaos said, an apology in his voice.

Allen nodded stiffly. "Right, OK. Do you need a ride?"

"Yeah. We took a public transport here," chaos answered.

"All right, um, come with me then."

Allen’s vehicle wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, which for some reason surprised Jin. Jin took the passenger seat while chaos opted for the back seat. When they sat down and were on their way, Jin commented on it and said, "I can’t help but feel like I was being stared at in that café."

Allen dipped his head by way of apology. "Most people here haven’t ever seen anyone in a green and purple kimono before. The dragons on the side probably didn’t help either."

chaos laughed a bit. "They must have thought my clothes are atrocious!" He was wearing a small yellow jacket, white pants, and a navy body suit along with his usual gloves.

"Ah, well, for here...uh, they are. Sorry, chaos. To, um, us, you look like you’re wearing a jacket over really colorful underwear." Allen scratched the hair at the nape of his neck. "I’m sorry people stared."

"It’s not your fault," Jin said. "Is this your home town?"

"It’s close. The fashion sense is the same, though. It was a little weird going to University of Bormeo...the first and last time I ever stood out, I think."

"Why is that?"

Allen shrugged. "Apparently this is the only place in the galaxy where people wear suits like this. The University of Bormeo was full of people wearing clothes I thought looked really strange...but I guess I was the one standing out. This is comfortable for me, though, and I’d just look like a fool trying to wear something I’m not comfortable in. There’s no need for me to make myself look any more foolish than I already do." After a pause, Allen added, "Don’t say it! I’m very comfortable in this!"

Jin opened his mouth, then closed it, while chaos covered his smile with a hand and tried to suppress his chuckles.

Finally, Jin crossed his arms, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his kimono, and said quite primly, "I didn’t say anything." He had thought it though; that collar looked like a fancy garrote to him.

"I didn’t say anything about you looking more foolish than usual, either," chaos said, leaning forward from the back seat.

Allen shot chaos a dirty look, which prompted Jin to smile a bit and chaos to duck his head and sit back in his seat, stifling another snicker. Allen sighed. "I guess I sort of walked into that. But you knew what I meant, chaos!"

"Yeah, I knew. I just thought it would make you feel better if we acted normally for a bit."

Allen found a tissue, wadded it up, and threw it back at chaos. chaos started laughing in earnest then.

"That’s not funny! Teasing me does not make me feel better!" The wadded up tissue bounced neatly off the top of Allen’s head. "Hey!"

The tissue pegged chaos right on the nose. "You started it," chaos declared as he returned fire.

Jin looked at his two companions and said, "Children, behave yourselves." The tissue had ricocheted off Allen’s cheek and lodged itself behind Jin’s ear.

Suddenly Allen had to ward off a bout of giggles, and chaos didn’t even bother.

The vehicle stopped some way into a densely foliated area, a forest well outside the city limits and far from civilization. Jin and chaos exited the vehicle and looked around while Allen secured it and got out as well. While Allen went to fetch something from the trunk of his vehicle, Jin walked over to a tall tree, a conifer. He set a hand on it, then looked over at Allen. "This is a beautiful area. It feels ancient."

Allen nodded, hefting a crossbow with a stock that resembled a rifle over his shoulder. "It is. It’s on the edge of a small old growth forest. There aren’t many areas like this left in this part of Fifth Jerusalem. Being the capital planet of the Galactic Federation has made it difficult to hold onto places like this."

"Expecting a fight?" chaos asked, pointing to the crossbow.

"Oh, uh, not really, but it’s always better to be safe, right? My house isn’t far from here, but it’s still a forest. Large animals live in forests, and I’ve needed to scare a few off before."

"Then I’m glad I brought my katana," Jin said. "Lead the way, Allen."

"Yeah. Just, please, don’t get trigger-happy with your Connection Gear if you brought it, OK? I try to keep the trail clear."

chaos said, "I brought mine; I won’t go randomly blowing things up."

"Thanks. God, I don’t even want to know what would happen if the Chief ever came here. It was bad enough when Togashi and Miyuki visited once. I think we had to break hers to stop her from trying to vaporize everything in a hundred foot radius."

Jin just inclined his head to indicate he thought Shion was a bit on the trigger-happy side as well. Allen nodded once, held his crossbow ready, and started off down the trail.

As Allen had said, the trail was well kept and easy to traverse. The forest swiftly swallowed them and the dappled sunlight that fell from above danced on undergrowth. It was cool beneath the eaves of the tall trees. After about ten minutes into the hike, Jin asked, "How did you come to own a house in an area like this?"

Allen shrugged slightly, and answered in a soft voice, "It’s part of my inheritance. Well...inheritance isn’t quite the right word for it. The property has been in my family for a long time; it used to be a vacation home. My parents gave it to me because it’s near Bormeo."

"The property?"

"Um, yeah. I own this trail, several acres on both sides of it, and a good chunk of land around my house." Allen started fidgeting, fiddling with the loading mechanism of his crossbow.

"That’s...ah..." Jin found himself at a loss for words. That was not something he had expected to find out about Allen; he didn’t act like he had such extraordinary wealth. Just based on the property he had seen, Jin guessed that Allen was so rich he wouldn’t have to work unless he wanted to.

Again, Allen shrugged. He seemed to be getting nervous again. "That’s...ah...one of the, the things that, maybe, you might need to know. I don’t know if you had heard that my family is ‘wealthy’..."

Jin nodded. "Shion mentioned that she had heard such."

"Well, ah, that’s really an understatement. They’re disgustingly rich. They just don’t really spend a lot, and when they do it’s anonymous so they aren’t well known. They have the money to pay for anonymity. You know how I got into the University of Bormeo?"

"How?" chaos asked, brushing aside a low hanging tree branch.

"They arranged to anonymously renovate the entire University and add a new college building if they’d admit me. I didn’t find out until I’d been there for three years. I thought I’d actually got in on my own merits, even if they paid for my tuition." Allen sneered. It was an ugly and unexpected expression on him. "They wanted me gone so badly they gave me this house, one fifth of their fortune, and bought my way into Bormeo.

"And that’s not all—I did a little digging into my records after finding out about the arrangement with Bormeo. They cut me off. I’ve been disowned, and their will now specifies their entire estate will be left to, to, animals, to the upkeep and care of their exotic pets." Allen was visibly shaking with rage, so chaos very carefully pulled the crossbow out of his hands lest he accidentally fire it and impale his foot with a bolt.

"There’s even more than that!" Allen shouted as he walked. "I don’t care if their damn pets get what would have been mine, that doesn’t matter. I don’t care about the money or the heirlooms, that’s nothing. There’s a restraining order! If I so much as query the U.M.N. for an address to send them a birthday card, I’ll be arrested! I have no idea where they are. They did that after I found out about the thing with Bormeo.

"They hate me. And all I did to deserve it was not display any damned difference from their God-damned genetic engineering."

chaos grasped Allen’s arm, preventing him from storming the rest of the way down the path. "Do you mean they are Life Recycling variants, or that you are?" His voice was soft and modulated, calm.

Some of chaos’ calm seemed to reach Allen, as he stopped shaking so hard and his voice lowered. "Both," he said, chewing on his lower lip. "For a long time I thought it was just them. They had to have medical intervention to have me; I guess because whatever they had changed about themselves made it almost impossible for them to have children. But I don’t show any unusual traits, not really. I didn’t inherit my mother’s inhuman, engineered talent for Ether, or my father’s strength and way with animals. Just the opposite, actually. Both of them had their intelligence artificially enhanced. I didn’t inherit that either...but whatever engineering they did on me, it didn’t take. Or if it did, I don’t know how it affects me. They tried to get their traits to show, though. They didn’t believe the engineers that I likely hadn’t inherited their genes, spent too damned much money on everything involved with me, and didn’t want to waste it. They tried really hard, so hard that I got sick from it. I spent a long time with doctors removing nanomachines, only to get stuck having more installed until I got sick again and had to have them removed, too. That is, until the Species Preservation Act was passed. I guess there were enough Ether machines left over, so I never had any installed as an adult. I think they hate me because they started seeing me as nothing but a money pit. And I hate them and I don’t trust mutants because of them...I knew they were and I knew they were hurting me and I didn’t understand why."

Jin asked, "When did you discover you were a variant?" He was careful to use the most neutral term, although if what Allen were saying were accurate, he would be better described as a victim and his parents as überhumans or mutants.

Allen turned away and started walking much slower down the trail. "The first time I visited the Kukai Foundation, although if I had just thought about it, I should have known by the way my parents treated me. Someone there, in one of the sectors I visited, had a talent for spotting variants and asked me about it. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, but he insisted. So I had some testing done...it was easy to spot at least part of what had been engineered on me. I really didn’t inherit any of my parent’s genetic engineering. But whatever it was that was engineered, no one I found at the Kukai Foundation could tell me what it did or even if it did anything at all. I guess it’s just a bunch of unexpressed junk."

Jin and chaos continued on as well. "Do you know what the engineering was supposed to express?" Jin asked.

Allen shook his head. "Not really. Some kind of brain chemistry, that’s all they could tell me. They said it was very subtle changes, so it would be hard to figure out what it was supposed to do without extensive study. I think they decided the engineer didn’t flip all the right switches or perhaps missed a few genes and that’s why it didn’t seem to be doing anything. That’s all I know about it."

The forest trail gave way to a brick walkway without warning, and the forest fell away, revealing a quiet clearing with a medium sized, ornate house perched in the middle of a garden. Ivy climbed the walls of the house, and several maples with small, colorful leaves stood amongst the roses and other flowering shrubs.

Allen waved a hand toward the house. "Welcome to my home. I hope it’s not too much or in bad taste." He started quickly down the short brick path; Jin and chaos followed close behind. When they reached the door, Allen first used a palm scanner to unlock it, then a much more traditional and ancient method—a simple key. The carved door opened and Allen stood back, allowing Jin and chaos to enter first.

Jin took off his shoes just before stepping over the threshold. chaos glanced at Allen, and he shook his head then held his hands out for his crossbow. After handing it over, chaos entered the house. As soon as Allen fired the crossbow into the dirt, he followed after chaos, closing the door behind him.

"Jin, try to walk on the rugs," Allen called after him. "The hardwood’s probably a little slippery."

"Ah, yes, I see that," Jin said, standing with his socked feet a little farther apart than was normal for him.

chaos took a moment to look around. "This was built by human hands, wasn’t it?"

"Ah, yeah." Allen took his crossbow and put it in a closet near the door. He then took off his frock coat and hung it up in the closet. "I don’t know when, but the original builders wanted something more than just the feel of authenticity. Everything was carved by hand, nanomachines weren’t used at all. I’m sure machines were used to help build the frame and lay the flooring. So...uh, I, I hope it’s not too much."

"Don’t worry about appearances so much, Allen," chaos said. "I appreciate the handiwork, and I’m glad I got to see it. I think perhaps humans rely too much on technology, and it’s nice to see what lovely things we can make with our own hands when we put our minds to it. Your house is beautiful, Allen."

A bit of red crept up Allen’s cheeks. "Thank you, chaos. I guess I’m just a little self-conscious about it. It feels like too much to me, sometimes."

"I agree," Jin said, "it is a beautiful house. I certainly would have preferred—whoa...yes, the rugs, right... That is, I would have preferred to have had my house built in a more traditional manner. However, I confess, I...whoops, steady Jin...spent most of my money on books." Allen and chaos looked at Jin in concern, but there was no need. It seemed the swordsman had finally made it to a rug and was no longer sliding around on the slick hardwood floor. Real books were quite rare and expensive, so it was possible that Jin may have been able to build his residence without nanomachines if he hadn’t used it in the pursuit of books. However, Jin’s traditional styled home was far more modest and austere than Allen’s.

"Well, I’m glad you like it...and I’m glad you don’t think it’s overdoing it," Allen said, finally entering the room where Jin stood. "I like it...I used to spend time here during the summer with my grandparents. I, ah, know I could sell it, get something a little more fitting for me, but I don’t really see the point. All the money I’d make from the sale would either stay with me or go to some charity I wouldn’t trust not to pocket it instead of use it the way it should. Then the land would be up for ‘less wasteful’ uses. I prefer it this way...for a lot of reasons."

chaos came up behind Allen. "Oh, no, don’t sell it. It’s worth more than money to you and to a lot of people, including myself, just that it exists is worth something. That the forest is protected is worth more than money as well." He paused for a moment while he found a chair to sit in. "It’s similar to how Captain Matthews always wants to see the Seraphim Sisters live. He says it’s not the same over the U.M.N.. He’s right, although I’d never let him know that; it’s too much fun teasing him." chaos ran a hand along a coffee table in front of his seat. "There is an ineffable quality to something real like this. You don’t need to feel ashamed or make excuses."

Allen wasn’t sure what to say to that, or if he need say anything. Instead, he asked, "Are you guys hungry? Thirsty?"

"I’m feeling a bit thirsty," Jin said. "What do you have?"

"Let’s see, I have water, soda, tea, coffee, wine... I think I have a little blueberry milk left."

"Blueberry milk?" chaos asked, incredulous.

"What? It’s good!"

chaos just shook his head. "If you have red wine, I’d like that."

"I do. Jin?"

"Green tea?"

"I think I have some. Let me check." Allen headed off to the kitchen, where the other two men heard a great deal of shuffling, clattering, and soft curses after one loud crash. After a few minutes Allen returned with two wineglasses and an open bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon in one hand, and a small teakettle and mug on a plate in the other. Somehow, he was also juggling a plate of cheese and crackers amidst this.

"You could have made two trips," chaos commented, getting up to take the plate of cheese out of its precarious place.

Allen set the glasses and mug down on some coasters that happened to be out, then set the kettle near Jin. He poured some wine into the two glasses, set the bottle on another coaster, and handed a glass to chaos.

Jin waited for his tea to steep longer before he served himself. "Is there anything else that you think might help us solve your mystery, Allen?"

After taking a sip of his wine and nibbling the edge of a slice of cheese, Allen said, "The only thing extraordinary about me, really, is that I’m a genius at building Encephalons. Uh, I mean, virtual locations built within the Encephalon, mostly self-contained. I’m not trying to be egotistical about that, I mean, being a genius at building them. I know I’m a very good engineer and talented at A.I. development, but everything involved with the Encephalon is where I really excel. I’ve never failed at building a stable Encephalon location, although in unpredictable environments, I can’t always maintain them." He rubbed his face. "The Chief got a bit complacent about how well they were built, or something...she was always pushing too hard and she’s had seven, seven, that I built to test KOS-MOS collapse on her just after someone, usually me, went in and grabbed her. And people wonder why I have to get nanotreatment for ulcers so often."

He took another sip of wine. "In normal, fairly predictable environments, I can build simple, stable locations that will last for years without collapsing or melting back into the Encephalon. When I was taking an advanced computer science course before I went to Bormeo, we had an assignment to build a simple location based on ourselves as practice for U.M.N. access, things like that. It’s still there, just like I built it. Oh...that reminds me, the other unusual thing about me. I already had an Encephalon I was connected to then, but I don’t remember anyone building it. It’s possible someone did before I was old enough to remember...it’s still there, too. I don’t mean a subconscious domain, everyone has that without it being built into a virtual location someone else could dive into; I mean I’ve had, as long as I can remember, a distinct, extremely stable, self-contained virtual location in the Encephalon that is connected to me. I don’t know what it’s based on, though it’s probably what most people would call my subconscious domain.

"Otherwise, there’s nothing especially extraordinary or anything about me. I’m pretty unremarkable in every other way."

chaos set his glass down. "I’m not sure that last part is quite true, but that’s my opinion."

"I believe you about your assessment of your talents," Jin said, then took a drink of his tea. "But you say Shion was aware of it, so I have to assume most of your colleagues were also aware of this."

Allen nodded, a little glum. He drained his glass. "Yeah, they know. That’s not what keeps getting written all over everything, if that’s what you’re getting at. Some of it...it’s...it’s what I told you in the forest. But, but most of it, they’re things no one could know." He stood up, a little shaky. "I’ll get it...I’ll show you...if you promise never to tell anyone else."

"You have my word," Jin said.

"Mine as well," chaos added.

"All...all right." Allen left the room, and after a few minutes, he came back holding, no, hugging, a plain white covered book. He stood there for a long moment, hugging the book tightly to himself. It was clear he was loath to let anyone see it, but he eventually shoved it toward Jin. As soon as Jin laid hands on it, Allen retreated to a corner of the room. He didn’t turn away from them, not quite, but he was partially turned toward the corner, an expression of absolute terror on his face. No small animal in the face of a predator had looked more frightened.

Seeing this, Jin smoothed a hand over the cover of the book, hesitant to open it. He did note that the book looked very similar to the one the not-Allen had held in his bloodied hands in the photograph that Allen had showed them at the café. Jin looked over at Allen. "Are you sure you want us to see this?"

In a small voice, Allen answered, "No, I don’t want you to see it. But I want even less for the entire Vector First R&D Division either hating me or not seeing or hearing me when I stand right in front of them. I want even less for the Chief to be mad at me for randomly contacting her just to send static. Just, just get it over with. There are some pictures inside you might need to see, too." He held his hands against his chest, twisting his fingers. He couldn’t have looked smaller or more vulnerable than he did now without curling up and hiding under a table.

chaos nodded in sympathy. He supposed the book must be a diary or journal of some sort, something Allen had never meant to share with anyone.

Jin understood Allen’s reluctance as well, if it were a diary. So he was careful when he opened it, and for a moment was glad to find the pictures first before any writing. He pulled out the pictures and spread them on the short table. They were all night photos, most from the city near Jin’s residence on Second Miltia, although a few seemed to be from other areas. All of them were of a translucent figure, some easier to recognize than others, some were in a Vector uniform, some in a frock suit and a holding a cane. All of them were Allen. One particularly clear photograph showed an almost solid Allen sitting on a bench, holding a dead flower, crying tears of blood.

"How did you get these? They’re of the ghost that was rumored to haunt the city at night, aren’t they?" chaos asked.

Allen nodded without turning. "I searched the U.M.N. for non-Gnosis paranormal phenomena. There’s actually a lot to find, but I managed to locate those photos that people had taken."

"They lend credence to the rumor," Jin murmured as he slowly turned the first page in the book. As he did, Allen turned a little more toward the corner.

chaos was torn as to what he should do. His heart hurt to see Allen hiding from them in a corner in his own house, but he felt that whatever was in the book that Allen was willing to share despite the difficulty must be important. Eventually he decided to read over Jin’s shoulder for a while. He didn’t want to leave Allen in such a state, but that he would put himself in such a state at all decided for chaos that the book must have something important in it.

The first several pages were not particularly private, detailing in a precise hand Allen’s first few days at Vector. Then there came the mentions of Shion Uzuki. Some entries just mentioned her in passing, but the further chaos and Jin skimmed through the book, the more the content turned to Shion. Some entries were still normal how-was-my-day types, but frequently there were pages and pages devoted to every tiny detail it was physically possible to note about Shion. There were entire missives on how her hands moved, the look in her eyes when she was deep in thought. Eventually, and by the dates, these entries came after the incident with the KOS-MOS Archetype, the pages were almost nothing but a solid description of every observable minutia of Shion’s existence and how Allen felt about them and her.

If they had only this book to go by, it would be difficult indeed to believe Allen was not wholly and unhealthily obsessed and that he wasn’t a dangerous stalker. By dint of having read many books, Jin recognized, however, that no matter how frighteningly detailed Allen’s writing was, it was the natural and sane writings of a man with a frighteningly exquisite eye for detail. It was surprisingly unimaginative; there was little in the way of daydreaming or flights of fancy. There was enough written in the book about the KOS-MOS project and other subjects that were just as detailed to keep it from being entirely about Shion. There were some descriptions of esoteric computer programming that flew right over Jin’s head. He also knew Allen somewhat—he doubted very much that he was an obsessive stalker. This was just a slice of who he was, not the whole of him; context dictated that the journal was simply that, an outpouring of very private thoughts and feelings. It described in intimate detail how Allen felt about Jin’s sister, but it almost never went into Allen’s physical desires which, after simply skimming the book, he knew must be quite present; it was mainly emotional desires. Emotional desires in regards to Shion that Jin himself found not unfamiliar. Wanting to get closer to her...wanting her to open up to him, wanting to share with him her hopes and fears...and the deepening misery of being unable to have that badly desired relationship. It had not been at all easy reading about Allen’s feelings for Shion, and at the level of detail that Jin thought he could have done without—it brought out his protective side, but he felt a strong kinship nonetheless.

In a way, it confused him, and he was torn between wanting to protect Shion from someone who observed her oh so very closely and wanting to give his blessing to Allen for being so selflessly in love. Jin thought it wouldn’t take much at all to overcome his own ambivalence toward Allen, whom he thought was often an irritant. They shared a lot more common ground than he had realized.

Jin closed the book and set it on the table. Allen dashed over and grabbed it and then returned to the corner he had buried himself in.

"I knew you loved her...I had no idea how much," Jin said softly. The journal had struck him deeply. He didn’t want a romantic relationship with his sister, but he wanted very badly a great many things that Allen also wanted with her. He tucked his hands into his kimono and sat still as stone.

Allen just jerked his head in a nod.

chaos knew Allen better than Jin did, so he wasn’t particularly surprised at the contents of his journal. He did think that if whatever was haunting Vector was writing secrets out of it, it was more than understandable that Allen would want it to stop. Perhaps more to keep it quiet than to stop it from harassing his co-workers, though that was likely a slim thing. He walked over to Allen and tried to coax him out of the corner. "I know that was hard to share, Allen. I think it was the right thing to do, though. It’s given me an idea about what might be bothering your colleagues."

"Really?" Allen looked askance at chaos, more wearied now than terrified. But fear was not entirely absent.

"Yes, it did. Now please come out of hiding. We don’t think less of you for having secret thoughts and feelings. We don’t think it’s pathetic or obsessive."

"Quite the contrary," Jin murmured, lost in thought.

Allen seemed surprised to hear Jin’s opinion, considering the book was almost exclusively devoted to his sister. A good part of Allen’s fear had been anticipating Jin’s reaction; he had been almost certain that Jin would react badly, probably be furious and protective of Shion, and never speak to him again if he was lucky. If he was unlucky... Jin’s kenjutsu was frighteningly good and his katana sharp. But Jin wasn’t acting that way at all. He finally turned toward chaos. "I was right to trust you?" Allen hated himself for asking, for the way it came out, such a childish thing, but he couldn’t unsay it.

chaos smiled. "Yes, and we’ll keep our word." He walked over to the wine bottle and poured himself and Allen another glass. He held out the glass to Allen. "Maybe you need to relax a little, though."

Allen nodded and stepped out of the corner, taking the glass from chaos. After taking a decent drink from it, he asked, "So, you, you think you can help me?" He still held the book in a death grip in his other arm.

"Yes, I think so." chaos sat down and sipped some of his fresh wine. "I think we might have to be sneaky. If it knows the contents of your book that you guard so well, it might know that you want to catch it and stop it. So, I propose that you let us stay here a few days and leave instructions, if you have the authority, with the Vector offices here to let Jin and me in whenever we feel like coming. We’ll come sometime when you aren’t expecting us. We might be able to surprise it that way."

"I could do that. I couldn’t let you into the other divisions, but I could authorize a tour of First Division or something...I might even be able to let you in to visit KOS-MOS. She’s asleep right now; we’re building her a better frame and making more improvements, but maybe you’d like to come say hi anyway. There are some perks to being Chief; I think I can get the Director to agree to that, especially since you’ve both met KOS-MOS." Then Allen paused, thinking a moment. "How long would you need to stay? You can stay here if you want."

Jin spoke up. "I think I need to confer with chaos about this plan of his." He jerked his hand as he stood, indicating to chaos that he wanted him to follow him this instant. Then, as carefully as he could, he slid himself across the floor to an adjacent room, opening the door and leaving it open.

"I’ll be right back," chaos said, then followed Jin to the next room and closed the door.

In a low whisper, Jin stated, "I have other commitments. I can’t put them off long."

His voice just as low, chaos answered, "I can’t really say, but not too long."

"Why not?"

"I have a suspicion...whatever this haunting is I think it’s been going on a lot longer than Allen realizes. Can you trust me just on that? I don’t think it’ll be too long."

Jin narrowed his eyes. "Why can’t you say more?"

chaos gave the walls and the door between the two rooms a meaningful glance. "Just trust me."

Heaving a sigh, Jin said, "All right, but not too long."

Letting Jin use his arm for balance (the floors were really quite slippery), chaos led them back out to where Allen was sitting, munching on another bit of cheese. After depositing Jin back in his seat, chaos picked up a cheese slice, ate it, took a sip of wine, and said, "At least a month, if that’s all right."

"A month?" Jin and Allen exclaimed in unison. While Jin stared daggers at chaos, Allen stuttered, "Well, uh, w-w-well, if, if you need to stay that long...OK, uh, sure...that’s fine."

Ignoring Jin’s heated glare, chaos said, "We probably won’t need that long, but that should be long enough. Can you get us authorization to visit Vector’s First R&D Division any time in the next month?"

"I, er, well, I can try. It might be harder to convince the Director to let you in to see KOS-MOS whenever you want in the next month, but I’ll try." Allen sipped a bit of his wine. "Should be an interesting time," he muttered to himself.

Jin said nothing, still giving chaos a heated look while drinking his tea. chaos was not oblivious to Jin’s displeasure or Allen’s discomfort, but he thought the time frame was needed for his plan to work.

chaos had judged the time to visit Vector to be right nine days after they first came up with the plan to ‘sneak up on the ghost’. It had been an interesting week and a half. Allen was, of course, at work most of the time, which left chaos and Jin to their own devices. Jin spent most of the time coveting Allen’s library; it wasn’t even a fifth as big as Jin’s bookstore-cum-residence, but there were several volumes in it that Jin didn’t have. He was careful not to say anything, though, because he knew Allen would likely just give him the books and he didn’t want to impose. Part of him, the unreasonable book-lusting part, said that Allen was making a huge imposition on Jin’s time, so a couple books would be a fair trade, but Jin squashed the thought. Allen hadn’t asked them to spend so long trying to help, he’d just asked for help. It was chaos that had decided they needed to stay that long.

The real adventure had involved food and who was going to cook it. Allen’s larder was well stocked for a bachelor, so it wasn’t for want of food that caused trouble. It was the cooking, plain and simple. Jin could cook, he was quite competent at it, but liked his food spicy (or raw, but he decided against preparing sushi or bringing back sashimi; too much trouble.) Allen was a complete wimp when it came to spicy foods and swore that every time Jin cooked he was swallowing fire. It was hard to tell with chaos; judging his tastes based on what he cooked, chaos’ favorite flavor was ‘burnt beyond recognition’. chaos had many talents both secret and known, but cooking anything that a human could choke down was beyond him. There had been an early two-thirds majority vote to kick chaos out of the kitchen. Allen’s cooking ability was up in the air—not spicy enough for Jin, but not inedible most of the time. He just wasn’t used to cooking for more than himself, so he either over did it or didn’t make enough. So there was some in-fighting between Jin and Allen over who would cook and how much spice would go in the food. chaos happily stayed out of it since he’d been banished and any food that approached edible tasted good to him.

Otherwise, the stay hadn’t been bad—environmental bugs kept things clean, and there was no lack of things to keep them occupied. chaos spent a lot of time admiring the architecture and exploring the grounds and forest.

There was one incident that chaos chose not to mention to Allen or Jin; after about four days staying in one of Allen’s spacious guestrooms, something had woken chaos from a sound sleep. At first, he saw nothing unusual when he looked around the room, but then he noticed, just barely visible, a translucent figure wearing a long white night shirt. The shirt was as antique as everything else in the house and quite plain. chaos had to concentrate to see the figure clearly enough to identify it, but he wasn’t very surprised when it turned out to be Allen. Or an Allen ghost, rather. As soon as chaos made a move to indicate he was awake, the ghost vanished. It confirmed chaos’ suspicions that the ghost was both real and haunting Allen as well, though. He kept silent so as not to upset Allen or make Jin suspicious and force chaos to move his planned date up.

Nine days after their arrival, Jin and chaos went to visit Vector, and that was how they ended up having to endure a muttered tirade from their Vector chaperone on how much he hated Allen while they rode an elevator to the KOS-MOS research section.

* * *

When Jin and chaos first arrived at the Vector building, they were surprised at the size of it. They both knew that the Dämmerung was the real headquarters for Vector, but with this building along with several different facilities in several different directions around the city, it seemed that Fifth Jerusalem was possibly the largest of Vector’s planetary wings.

Fortunately, public transportation had seen fit to place a small station a few miles away from the beginning of Allen’s trail. The city was not within walking distance of his home; it was hardly in driving distance. Jin could understand why Allen stayed at his house, though. If he had been stationed anywhere near his own home when he had been in the military, he would have preferred to stay there and endure a maddeningly long commute himself.

It was quite easy signing in as visitors to First Division under authorization of Chief Ridgeley and the Director of First Division, although they couldn’t avoid the requirement of a guide if they wished to enter the area where KOS-MOS was still being developed. Their guide was none too pleased to be taking them in a large elevator up to the KOS-MOS development area; it seemed he had some serious issues with Chief Ridgeley and wouldn’t stop grumbling about it under his breath. He was trying to keep it to himself, but when he found out Jin and chaos were Allen’s guests, the first thing he said was that if he felt like losing his job, nothing would satisfy him more than to make Allen bleed as much as he claimed Allen had bled all over his apartment.

Just before they reached the floor of KOS-MOS’ research area, chaos ventured, "What exactly did Chief Ridgeley do that’s got you so angry at him?"

Their guide, a rather large, beefy man with close-cropped black hair, glared at chaos. "Other than breaking into my apartment, splattering so much blood over every inch of wall that it looked like a slaughterhouse, writing God knows what about Chief Uzuki on my computer. Then waking me up in the middle of the night six or seven times in the last month just to smile and bleed all over me, he hasn’t done a thing."

"Are you sure it was him?" Jin asked. "Could it have been someone else that broke into your apartment?"

"I know what he looks like. I know it was him. He’s been doing that to half of First Division, I hear. I don’t know where he finds the time. I’d like to—"

"Yes, we’ve heard what you’d like to do," chaos interrupted. "Thank you for answering."

"Whatever."

Just as the elevator doors opened, something tickled the back of chaos’ mind. He glanced around, but saw nothing. He knew there was something there, however. It didn’t feel like a Gnosis, and it wasn’t anything near as strong as Nephilim, but it was there. That it reminded him of such existences had him curious if it was of a similar nature. He, Jin, and their guide stepped out of the elevator, and chaos whispered to Jin, "We’re being watched."

Jin discretely glanced around the hallway but saw nothing. He felt nothing either, even after chaos had put him on alert. "Are you sure?"

The guide walked down the hallway, with the two in tow. "I am, I just can’t find it. It feels like it might be something from the imaginary-numbers realm."

"It would be useful to have MOMO here in that case," Jin said, patting down his kimono as if he were looking for something. "Ah, there they are." He pulled a pair of small, gold wire frame glasses out of a hidden pocket and slipped them on. "Not as good as many, but better than most."

"What are those for?" chaos asked.

"Mmm, they enhance a ‘gift’, so to speak, which I have fortunately been blessed with the merest sliver. I can very occasionally see imaginary-numbers existences, and these glasses simply make them easier for me to see. If there is an imaginary existence watching us, I’d like to have the best chance of seeing it, should it be hostile."

"Huh, I didn’t know anyone made glasses like that."

"Please allow a humble scholar and bookseller a few minor mysteries," Jin said with a tiny smile.

"Heh, sure," chaos said, knowing full well Jin had more than a few minor mysteries he hid.

The small group turned a corner, and just on the edge of his peripheral vision, chaos saw a glimmer of something that shouldn’t be there. Jin saw it as well and his hand instantly found the hilt of his katana. Their guide stopped in confusion; he had seen nothing and wondered why these two freaks were staring at a corner.

The glimmer didn’t move, nor did it resolve into any identifiable shape, but the feeling chaos had of being watched intensified to an almost unbearable level.

"I feel it now," Jin said quietly.

"That doesn’t surprise me," chaos answered. He approached the corner the glimmer was in. He opened his mouth to say something, but the moment he did, the glimmer shifted to a much farther corner so fast that both chaos and Jin had trouble following it. Yet it was still there, and the sense of being watched did not let up.

"Are you two done staring at the corner?" the guide asked, his voice full of irritation.

Jin gave the man a disapproving look, while chaos just shrugged and indicated for him to lead on.

Soon they entered the KOS-MOS research and development’s main room. KOS-MOS’ pod stood in the center of the room, while various Vector employees worked along the walls at various terminals. Togashi was working at one station, and Allen stood behind him, nearly shouting in an attempt to get Togashi’s attention. Jin and chaos looked on in something akin to wonder; it was hard to believe, but Allen had been right—some of the Vector employees simply could not see or hear him. Allen looked like he was ready to smack the back of Togashi’s head, and now he was shouting, but Togashi never so much as twitched. Some of the other Vector employees were openly glaring at Allen, their anger evident, while the others didn’t react at all.

chaos stood back, and kept Jin from continuing further into the room. "Look at Togashi—do you see anything different about him?" chaos asked.

Jin adjusted his glasses a bit, winced once, then looked at Togashi. "How unusual!" He did indeed see something different. Togashi appeared to be wearing a dark cloak that covered him from head to toe with a hood hanging low over his face. But it was certainly not a real cloak; it only gave the impression of a cloak, and a very difficult to see cloak at that. It was similar to the glimmer they had seen. A quick glance around the room confirmed that the Vector employees who weren’t reacting to Allen’s shouting also seemed to be wearing imaginary cloaks.

Then, just as Allen shouted Togashi’s name one more time, the cloak shifted and vanished.

Togashi winced visibly and turned around. "Sir, you don’t have to yell in my ear, I can hear you fine."

Allen looked positively dismal. He sighed heavily and said, "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout. I just need you to run this simulation, see if it’ll be something we can use." He handed Togashi a disc, and Togashi took it.

As soon as Allen turned away, Togashi muttered something about too much stress and getting yelled at all the time. For his part, Allen looked like he was ready to tear his hair out. It was clear that he hadn’t missed the open contempt on many of the faces in the room. He turned to the three newcomers in the room, and raised his hands as if to say, ‘See? It’s as bad as I said.’

Jin took off his glasses and tucked them back in his kimono. "They give me a headache after a while," he said by way of explanation. chaos just nodded, then walked over to KOS-MOS’ pod.

"It would be nice if she didn’t have to sleep so much," he said.

Jin made a non-committal noise. He glanced at the corner where the glimmer was, even though he could no longer see it. "I wonder where Allen went? I thought he saw us."

"I don’t know." chaos looked around the room, but he couldn’t find Allen. He also couldn’t see the odd cloaks or the glimmer either. "That’s...strange..." he said quietly.

"What is?"

"I can’t see the thing that was watching us, or the shapes that were apparently masking the others, the thing that was on Togashi."

"Perhaps they all moved?"

chaos shook his head. "Maybe, but I still feel watched from there." He pointed toward the corner where the glimmer had last been seen.

Their guide muttered, "Come to your senses, I guess."

"What do you mean?" Jin asked, turning to him. The guide seemed surprised he’d been heard.

"I didn’t mean anything. Never mind."

chaos asked the guide, "Does Chief Ridgeley have an office or something, a place where we can wait for him or he may have gone to?"

The guide seemed suddenly amused. "Yeah, you want to go there?"

"Yes."

"Follow me then," the guide said, chuckling to himself.

The Vector guide deposited them in a little room off the side of the larger KOS-MOS development area. "I’ll just be outside. Maybe the new Chief will deign to grace you with his presence soon." Then he laughed and left the room.

For a few moments, Jin and chaos just stood there in the center of the room. There wasn’t much in the way of space and not much more than a single chair in the way of seating. At least that sense of being watched had diminished to a very faint tickle instead of the overbearing sense it had been before.

Then, chaos felt rather than heard a faint sound, just before his head suddenly whipped to the right. He rubbed his cheek—something had slapped him out of thin air?

"I’m sorry chaos, but I’ve been standing with you the entire time!" Allen said, deep frustration evident in his voice. "I didn’t want to slap you."

chaos stood bewildered for a moment, shocked that Allen would slap him. Then he realized why—it wasn’t something Allen could do to get the attention of his subordinates, but it was extremely effective. The cognitive dissonance of finding oneself slapped by nothing wasn’t something that could stand against rationality for long, and if Allen was there to do the slapping, then he became visible. It was like chaos’ brain had just masked out where Allen had been standing.

He rubbed his cheek again. "Don’t apologize; it worked very well. It really was like you weren’t there."

Jin added, "This explains why our very friendly guide was so amused; he knew you were there, did he not?"

Allen nodded. "I’m glad you can see me now too, Jin. I told you, it really is bad. I know you saw me shouting to get Togashi’s attention."

"We did," chaos said. "We saw something, like a cloak, covering him. As soon as it left, he could hear you. There’s also an imaginary-numbers existence watching the other room, and probably here, too, very closely."

"A...a cloak? And an imaginary existence? Like a Gnosis?" Allen sounded frightened by the idea.

Jin said, "Not like a Gnosis. But something not of our plane of existence, yes. The cloaks were the same type, although how they cause people to be blind and deaf to your existence, I don’t understand. Those cloaks must have come upon us, as well."

"Yeah...and quickly," chaos agreed. "I didn’t even notice it, but that must be why I couldn’t see the others or the watcher in the corner. Very peculiar." chaos stepped outside Allen’s small office for a moment, confirmed that he could see the watching glimmer again, then stepped back inside. "The watcher is still there."

"You haven’t come across the, the whatever that’s bothering everyone else, have you?" Allen asked.

"No," Jin said. "Nothing that even resembles a ghost."

"I don’t...think I have," chaos added. "I didn’t tell either of you, because I didn’t want to concern you, but I did see a ghost at your house Allen. I only woke up because I felt it watching me. It didn’t do anything, but left as soon as it knew I was there."

"There was a ghost in my house?!" Allen shouted. "Why didn’t you tell me? Was it...was it like in the pictures?"

"I already said why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you concerned. But yes, it was similar to some of the ghosts in the pictures. It looked like you, but it wasn’t doing anything except watching me." chaos cocked his head, then went out the door again. He studied the glimmer in the corner, bringing to bear as much of his imaginary-side power as he could in an attempt to see the glimmer more clearly. Then he looked at the employees—some still had the invisible cloaks. After studying those, he stepped back into the office. "I’m pretty certain it’s the same existence as the glimmer in the corner. I guess we didn’t surprise the ghosts...either that, or it’s usually here watching."

Allen wiped his face with both hands. "So...you’re saying that this ghost is haunting me, and Vector, and you, and several cities too?"

"Actually, I think I’m saying there might be three separate existences around. The cloaks appear to all originate from one source, although I couldn’t find it. They’re the same though. Related to the glimmer, which was, I’m certain, the ghost that woke me up a few nights ago. Whatever is breaking into peoples’ houses and pulling those horrible tricks, I suspect, is a different existence."

Allen went and sat on the one chair in the room, facing away from them, leaning his forehead into his hands. "Do you know if there’s anything you can do about them?"

Before Jin or chaos could answer, Allen moaned low and dropped his head to his desk. Jin moved quickly to his side, and after a quick examination, he said, "He’s unconscious."

chaos didn’t hear Jin, however. He was looking at the glimmer that had come into the room. It was a fierce light that soon became an almost solid duplicate of Allen. It was bright enough to burn his eyes, so he shielded them from the glare. He saw it had a small bowl and brush in its hands. Then it turned, faced the wall, and began to paint words. The stench of blood was thick in the air.

Jin smelled it and turned around. He couldn’t see the brightness as clearly, but it still hurt his eyes. They both watched as the ghost Allen continued its careful painting on the wall. When it was finished, it turned back, looked at them both, then vanished, leaving only bloody words on the wall.

Behind them, Allen stirred and grumbled out, "Oh God I have a headache. Ugh, what is that smell?"

When he didn’t get an answer, he shifted his chair to face Jin and chaos and the words on the wall. He read them out loud. "‘Stop me. Save me from myself...save everyone from me. I’m tearing myself apart and it has gone farther than I can handle. Stop me.’" Allen rubbed his head. "Who wrote that? One of the ghosts?"

chaos was thoughtful. He looked back at Allen. "I think you wrote it, Allen."

Allen was quiet for a long moment. "Me? I didn’t write it, how could I have written that? Aside from not keeping convenient fresh blood in this office, I certainly don’t remember writing that!"

Jin glanced at chaos then turned to Allen. "I think chaos is suggesting a causative relationship between your recent faint and the appearance of a ‘watching’ ghost that had your appearance. It was the watching ghost that wrote on the wall."

Allen looked confused. "I fainted?"

Jin nodded. "I don’t know why, but you did, just before the watching ghost came in. It may be a coincidence, but then, the watching ghost usually is only visible in pictures or to those few who can see such things. It was not only clearly visible and nearly solid, it was exceedingly bright."

"Its appearance was stronger than Nephilim’s has ever been, perhaps because it wanted our attention or didn’t know how strong it needed to be," chaos said. "Jin’s right, I suspect it was you, in some form. If it was it may have needed you unconscious to pull enough energy to manifest itself so strongly.

"That and it seems rather fixated on you. This one doesn’t act like it has read your book, but you said the other one had written things out of it. You’re the only one that knows everything written in your book."

Allen nodded slowly. "That’s what people have reported. But...it can’t be me. I can’t do things like that." He rubbed his head again, then crossed his arms over himself in a protective gesture. "I can’t do things like that." Without looking at Jin or chaos, he said, "If you did an Encephalon dive on me, would that help you find out if it’s really me doing these awful things?"

chaos tugged on his gloves. "It might."

"Would it help you figure out a way to stop it?"

"I don’t know."

Allen was silent for a long moment. In a sullen tone, he asked, "Would you be willing?"

chaos looked over at Jin, who nodded slightly. "Yes, if you’re willing."

"I am. I’ll set it up so you go to the simple location. You should be able to find whatever you need there. Do whatever you feel necessary to decide if I really am doing this to myself. At least then maybe we’ll have a starting point to stop it. Meet me in Second Division; I’ll go find Miyuki, she can run it. I’d just take you there myself, but you might lose track of me..." Allen trailed off, then walked out of the room as fast as he could while still walking, his head down.

"He’s quite reluctant," Jin observed as he walked out the office door.

"I would be, too," chaos said. "He did just give us permission to access everything; that’s a lot more than just letting us read a journal."

It didn’t take them long to reach Miyuki and Allen in Second Division’s Dive room. There were several fully equipped dive seats along with a number of accompanying terminals. Allen was sitting on the edge of an open seat while Miyuki was standing next to one of the computers, and as soon as she saw Jin and chaos, she waved to them and wore a warm smile. "How are you guys?"

"Fine, thank you," Jin said with a small bow.

"Good! Allen’s got the dive set up so that you’ll be going to a pretty simple place. Anyone could handle it, but I’m pretty good at this. If you have any problems, just let me know! You’ll be using dive seats, too, not glasses. So, in you go!" Miyuki sounded happy as ever.

As usual, her good cheer was infectious. chaos smiled and nodded, then started climbing in one of the seats. Jin pulled his katana and sheath from his obi and held it in his hands before following suit. When they were situated, they heard Allen tell Miyuki he was ready.

As always, the actual process of diving was quick.

The mechanics of the dive finished, Jin and chaos found themselves standing near the edge of a small lake. They were very close to the shore and the path along the side of the lake was rough and didn’t appear to be much used. It was a beautiful place, quiet, with lush greenery all about. The sky was not a color they could easily define, nor could they look at it for very long. It shone with a bright light, as if the sky were reflecting solar light all across an invisible surface. It rippled and waved, not all one color, but there wasn’t much chance for either of them to examine it: it shone too bright.

"I don’t think this is where Allen intended us to arrive," chaos observed.

"You’re probably right, unless he has rather warped definition of ‘simple’," Jin said. "I’d hate to see ‘complex’ if that’s the case."

chaos bent down and ran a hand through some grass at his feet. "It’s very orderly," he said. "Every blade seems to have a place. They want to stay that way, too." He stood and pointed to the ruffled grass, watching with Jin as the grass sprang back not in a random pattern but into a highly ordered one.

"Odd that changing the position of a few blades of grass would have this effect," Jin said, indicating a peculiar act the rest of the grass and soon the foliage around them took. It seemed that the reordering of the grass had caused a ripple effect, influencing much of the greenery and even some of the near shore to change positions slightly in order to accommodate the new order. The effect slowed and eventually stopped several feet from the first change in order.

"Yeah. I can see now...the rearrangement stopped when it met a point of previous order that fit. I think we should walk very carefully," chaos said.

"Indeed. What do you suppose we ought to be looking for?" Jin asked.

"I don’t know. If it really is Allen that is the cause of the haunting, I think we’ll find something."

The two walked along the narrow path, stepping as lightly as they could so as to avoid as much disturbance to the order of this particular Encephalon location. It was unavoidable that they disturbed it some, and in some places quite thoroughly. When Jin had to move a branch out of his way to continue forward it caused a large ripple effect, but they did the best they could. Soon, they saw a man fishing in the distance.

Sparing a startled glance at one another, chaos and Jin made their way toward the man, who turned out to bear a striking resemblance to Allen in his archaic swimsuit. He sat on a tree root that seemed to be perfectly suited to the purpose of being used as a seat. He had a small tackle box and a line out in the water.

"Join me, you two. I don’t get a lot of visitors, as I’m sure you can imagine." The man sounded like Allen as well, but his mannerisms were different enough that Jin and chaos couldn’t think of him as Allen. ‘Allen’ waved them over, and two rods appeared out of nowhere along with another tackle box.

chaos shrugged and moved over to ‘Allen’s side, smiling faintly at one of the rods—it was clearly made for him; the shaft was navy with yellow and white trim, and the reel bore a motif of six wings. He picked it up and started setting up the line. "I haven’t been fishing, not like this, in a long time."

Jin hesitated, shifting his feet. "Are you sure this is wise?"

"What harm could it do?" chaos answered. "Maybe we can find some answers."

"Don’t be so suspicious, Jin," ‘Allen’ said, motioning to Jin’s rod. It was a deep emerald with royal purple trim, and just above the reel, a silver and red dragon had somehow been embroidered into the heavily glazed thread. "Sit down, relax a little. I’d offer to take you fly fishing, but it’s kinda hard to chat that way."

"All right," Jin said, acquiescing. He picked up the rod ‘Allen’ had made him and also began threading the line through the eyelets.

"What sort of bait are we using?" chaos asked, poking through the tackle box in search of a swivel.

"Lures today. The fish seem to be hitting the gold spinners the most, so I’d suggest one of them, but you can use something else if you like."

chaos smiled. "I’ll take your word for it." He found a swivel and a small gold spinner with a treble hook on one end, then set about tying them to the line.

Jin decided to use a sinker and some floating bait instead. He didn’t really want to be fishing, and floating bait was as close to sitting back and doing nothing as one could get with fishing, which was mainly sitting back and doing nothing anyway. It hadn’t occurred to him until long after he sat down that the rock he sat upon had reshaped itself to be the perfect perch for fishing with bait. There was even a convenient notch to place his rod that would hold it securely should any fish decide to strike.

On the other hand, chaos seemed to be enjoying himself, casting out over and over, not being overly bothered when he caught weeds. After another cast, he asked, "You know our names, sir. What is yours?"

"I don’t have a name. Call me whatever you want," ‘Allen’ answered, reeling in his line.

chaos paused. "I don’t feel right giving you a name if you don’t already have one."

"You wouldn’t be giving me a name. You would just be putting a handle on me to make it easier on yourself. Although I suppose that might be part of the problem. Is it?"

"Yes," chaos said, nodding.

"I bet you’ve already done it anyway, so it can’t do any harm to say it out loud."

chaos shook his head. "I haven’t."

‘Allen’ chuckled. "That’s right. You’re the clear-eyed boy that can see past what the naked eye shows, the one that uses a word to describe himself instead of a name. What about you, Jin? Do you think you could come up with something to call me?"

Jin frowned a bit. "I suppose. You look like Allen to us, but you don’t act like him, nor are you him, at least not in the strictest sense, so calling you Allen would be inappropriate. A variation then: Al."

The man nodded. "Al it is then. Just for now, of course." Al cast out again. "So, what is it that brings chaos and Jin to a place like this? Just don’t bring too much ‘chaos’; too much work was put into making this as orderly as possible, you know."

"We had noticed that. It’s a very fine order, sir," Jin said. "As for why we came...we’re...looking for someone."

Al nodded slowly. "If you go down this path a ways, you’ll find a low building with many doors. You’ll probably find what you’re looking for past one of those doors. I know you weren’t looking for me, all I do is fish and maintain the order."

"How did this Encephalon become so ordered?" chaos asked. "It’s rather fascinating."

"Hmm, well, weren’t you informed? A genius at building Encephalon locations?"

"Oh, yes, Allen mentioned that. Do you know who built it?"

Al shrugged. "It became. It hasn’t changed much since then, not really."

"That’s even more intriguing. He must have built it himself without knowing it...what an unusual thing to do," chaos said.

"Yes, it is interesting. Why build a dive location in the Encephalon if it was never meant to be used?" Jin asked.

Al gave them both an odd look. "It’s used all the time. Just not in the way you think."

Before the two visitors could react, something yanked at chaos’ rod. Momentarily distracted, he started grinning like a fool and reeling in what was turning out to be one fighter of a fish. It took several minutes, but he finally managed to land the fish with the help of Al and a net. It was a good-sized trout, easily enough to feed two people. Al picked it up and used a tool to pull the hook out. "Good catch, chaos; it looked like you enjoyed it."

chaos shrugged a little. "I used to know some fishermen. I guess they got me hooked. So what shall we do with it?"

Al said, "Eat it? That’s what I generally do when I catch fish. It’s part of the order."

"Sure, I guess. It’s been a long time since I had fresh fish, even if it is out of a lake in the middle of Allen’s subconscious domain."

"Just as good as the real thing, I guarantee," Al said with pride.

"That was a rather...vivid way of putting it, chaos," Jin said, frowning. Then he shrugged it off and said, "I suppose it couldn’t hurt. It’s just a virtual fish."

"Of course it won’t hurt!" Al proclaimed, handing Jin a yanagiba hocho and producing out of seeming nowhere a small table to clean the fish.

Jin looked at Al as if he’d committed some act of madness while the man cleaned the fish. chaos glanced at Jin, then gave him a longer look. "What’s wrong?"

Jin held up the knife. "He just happens to have an extremely expensive, rare yanagiba hocho hiding on his person? I haven’t seen a sashimi knife this fine in my life."

"Maybe you worry too much. He seems to have a great deal of control in a place that is highly controlled. If he can make fishing rods out of ‘thin air’, I’m sure a sashimi knife would be just as easy."

"Yes, but how did he know I preferred my fish raw? Allen has never seen me eat sashimi. You must admit, it is uncanny."

"‘There are those who draw well, and those who run fast.’ Maybe it’s just something he can do." chaos looked thoughtful. "I think we’ll find out more when we get to the doors Al told us about."

At that, Al handed Jin a platter with half the cleaned trout on it, then handed chaos a pan with the other half. "Sorry I can’t get you any wasabi or soy sauce, Jin. C’mon chaos, let’s fry up this baby." Al turned away and began gathering some wood for a small fire. Jin raised his eyebrows at chaos, who smiled with a shrug. While Al and chaos built a fire and fried half the fish (there was some arguing about how chaos was trying to turn the fish into charcoal), Jin filleted his, and soon the three were enjoying a small meal of trout. Al picked a few slices off Jin’s platter and a little fried trout from chaos’ pan, but left the majority to his visitors.

While they ate, both chaos and Jin noticed what looked like waves run across the shore, the tree roots, branches, and foliage. It appeared as if a stiff breeze were washing upon a plane, except it was in everything they looked at, all things around them except for themselves, their food, and Al. The two fishing rods looked like they had bled away, washed away into the scenery, and now were fallen twigs or in the case of Jin’s, a tree sapling.

"Are we affecting your order too greatly, Al?" chaos asked, concerned.

Al shook his head. "Don’t worry about it. It’s to be expected. Everywhere you go, you leave a footprint, a memory, a wave. This is no different. The Encephalon will never forget you." He tossed an antique key ring to chaos. "You were invited, so no doors are closed to you. Just keep the chaos to a minimum. No offence intended."

Placing the key ring with its multitude of keys into his pocket, chaos said, "Of course not, none taken." chaos finished his fish and brushed his gloved hands together. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What did you mean when you said that this Encephalon is used all the time?"

Al started cleaning up chaos’ pan and stirring the fire. "I meant just that. It was built, and it’s used. Not for dives; this is the first time I’ve seen anyone come in from a dive. You remember when you first went into KOS-MOS’ subconscious domain, don’t you? The dive pulled in everyone, and reacted to your memories. Well, not yours chaos...that was noted and logged."

chaos narrowed his eyes slightly at that. Slowly, he said, "That’s true...although I wonder how you could have known that."

"To excel in a field, it is necessary to be very aware of all aspects of it; this of course includes how others react. Don’t worry about it—it was just noted that your memories didn’t react to the Encephalon dive. Back to the point, though...that dive pulled you all in even though you were not connected in any way except by proximity. So obviously you don’t need to use dive equipment to be involved in a dive. To bring your conscious selves into the Encephalon, though, someone has to be using equipment near you. But what about your unconscious, subconscious selves? Virtual, well, they’re virtual to you, for me, they’re real. Anyway, locations in the Encephalon are based in the U.M.N. and gaps in E.V.S. dives are filled in by the U.M.N. and by the diver’s memory. Well, that’s not totally accurate. We don’t need the network for Encephalon locations. Why, if an Encephalon location exists, shouldn’t it be used as a central hub for the sub- and unconscious self?"

Jin tapped a foot and held his chin. "Now that would explain some things...at least, how they are happening."

chaos nodded. "I see what you’re getting at. In a less technologically sophisticated age, it might be called something akin to astral traveling. He’s sending himself out without realizing it. So we know for certain how, but not why."

Al smiled. "Like I said, no doors are closed to you. Go find the rest of the answers you seek. I’ll be here if you need me." With that, Al sat back down, and started fishing again. It seemed as though the two visitors had been dismissed.

"We should get going then," chaos said, "We need to know why this is happening and if we can help stop it." Jin nodded. They walked by Al, passing behind him, and Al waved to them as they left.

It took some time to make their way around the shore to the house of doors Al had told them about. Fortunately, the shining sky gave off no significant amount of heat, and there was a slight breeze off the lake. It was fine weather for a hike. It was just a matter of time and legwork then, and that wasn’t something either man was unaccustomed to.

The house was at first difficult to spot. It was covered in ivy and nestled just far enough from the lakeshore so that it was not immediately visible. The house itself was very similar to Allen’s house, which was unsurprising. The growth of ivy and other vegetation around it was untamed, however, unlike Allen’s neatly manicured home. In some ways, the building had an air of belonging that was unsettling precisely because it seemed to be a natural outgrowth of the area around it.

Jin carefully stepped up to the ornate door on the front of the house. He gave it a thorough once over. "It appears to be locked...the lock is very old. I’m sure one of the keys Al gave you will unlock it."

chaos pulled the key ring out of his pocket and looked for a key that might fit the lock. He found one shortly and tried it in the keyhole. It turned easily. chaos put the keys away and opened the door. The door opened in onto a long hallway, and just as chaos was about to step inside, he saw a figure storming toward the door. The hallway was dark, so it was hard to see whom it might be until the figure stepped into a sliver of light let in by the open door.

Another ‘Allen’ stood there, a crossbow in both hands and aimed at chaos’ heart. But that was not the most striking thing about this Allen avatar. He was bleeding, copiously, from both wrists and his face was slashed. Through the white shirt he was wearing, it was clear he also had freely bleeding cuts on his chest. Blood started pooling at his bare feet, beneath the hem of his dark pants, suggesting even more injuries. Fury filled his lacerated face.

When chaos and Jin made no move and said no word, the avatar hitched up the crossbow slightly, readying it.

Slowly, chaos said, "We were invited. No doors are closed to us."

"Who told you that?" ‘Allen’ demanded, blood dripping down his chin from his mouth.

Jin said, "The one down the way. He was fishing."

‘Allen’s expression darkened. "Six of Day has no authority to invite you."

"Allen does," Jin said with utmost confidence. He wondered who ‘Six of Day’ was, though.

Their opponent lowered the crossbow. "Idiot. Fine, come, see." He stepped back a bit, and Jin entered without removing his shoes. He didn’t plan to leave them inside an Encephalon dive. chaos followed him in, wary. As soon as they were both inside, the door shut and the crossbow was held very near Jin’s chest. It was not a small bow, and like Allen’s, it had a rifle stock. Unlike Allen’s, it had a quiver attached with several physical bolts. A shot from this crossbow would not be clean.

"Just watch your step. I am Six of Night and I will not have anyone hurting this place." Six of Night smartly removed the crossbow to his shoulder, then stalked off toward a door a little way down the hall. Jin looked down at the floor; there were no bloody footprints there and where Six of Night had stood at the doorway there was no blood pool.

"That is an interesting effect," Jin observed.

chaos nodded. "I think we’ve found one of our culprits. He has the same marks on him as the body in the photograph. I’m curious how he managed to do that."

"During an E.V.S. dive, a person can bring back physical objects...I must assume that Six of Night is able to produce such things and take them out with him."

"I suppose he must. Still...how could he make such things? Wouldn’t it be a strain on Allen?" chaos adjusted his gloves. "Maybe it wouldn’t. This location is in the Encephalon; he has all the raw material he needs in a way. I’d be willing to bet the body they found, whatever physical remains were left of it, disappeared eventually. It was probably a physical manifestation of Six of Night."

"That is a somewhat frightening thought," Jin replied.

"Yeah. I don’t wonder why the watcher ghost would say things are out of control if one of these subconscious avatars can not only send itself out, but incarnate as well. That strikes me as a dangerous talent."

"Especially if there’s no conscious control over it," Jin added.

chaos nodded. "I wonder how long it has been happening...Allen claimed it had only started when he was promoted to Chief, but could he have been incarnating part of himself longer than that?"

"If he had, I suspect there would be more than just rumors. This one," Jin motioned toward the door Six of Night had left through, "could have easily started rumors of suicide just by becoming visible. There would be no need to incarnate."

"Yeah. Well...I don’t know about you, but I’d rather put off talking to him at length for a little while. He is dangerous, and angry, so...shall we see what else this house holds?"

Jin nodded. "We could try this door here." Not far down the hallway there was stood a door that appeared to have been carved to match the walls. Not so much that it was hidden, just that it didn’t stand out in any way and some effort had been made to cause the door to be less noticeable.

"All right," chaos said, and walked toward the door. He tried the plain knob, and found it didn’t turn. He got out the keys Al had given him, and found a plain key. Most of the keys were quite old fashioned and had decorations on them, but this one was simply a key. He used it, and the door unlocked with a click. chaos put the keys back in his pocket and opened the door.

The inside of the room was as plain as the key and almost difficult to see. It was so thoroughly unremarkable that it could have been any room in any building that the two had ever been in. It evoked no memory, resembled nothing, and left no impression. The only oddity about the room was a second door with no visible means of opening it on the opposite wall.

Jin walked over to the second door, examining it. It looked like it could be opened; it had hinges and a plate.

"That door isn’t for you," a familiar voice said quietly. Jin turned toward the voice, startled slightly. He hadn’t seen anyone in the room.

The owner of the voice wore a long black cloak with a deep hood. There was a clasp at the throat of the cloak that resembled a thin crescent moon. He was well hidden, but his whisper soft voice belonged to Allen. Jin assumed he was another like Al and Six of Night.

chaos joined Jin after a cursory examination of the new avatar and the nondescript room. "Hello," he said, to the cloaked avatar. He had not seen him when they entered either.

This one just nodded, allowing the two to catch a quick glimpse of his face beneath the hood. He was as they suspected.

Jin asked, "What is this door used for?"

"You’re quite curious, aren’t you," the cloaked avatar answered.

Jin smiled slightly. "I have been known to wonder—I am a scholar of sorts."

"And a seeker of mysteries, so I hear. It will do no harm to answer you, since you are present and hold the keys. The door, this path, is our way of defense, offense, and one would think peace of mind, but it has been a long time since we gained any of that through this portal. It is also our life." The one in the cloak stepped over to the door and set a hand on it. The door became translucent.

That it was not transparent was a blessing; beyond the door was a blue-violet maelstrom that only made sense when glimpsed through the corner of the eye. chaos easily turned away, but Jin was caught. Jin kept catching shadows of sanity and order in the storm, but every time his mind latched on one, it fled away and resolved back into madness. It was ordered enough, bore enough logic, that Jin felt as though he could make sense of it if he just tried hard enough. He took a step toward the translucent door.

A hand touched the door again, returning it to its solid form. Jin blinked several times, making an effort to get his mind off what he had seen now that it no longer entranced him.

"Six of Day said that no doors are closed to you, but if you are allowed to open a door and pass through it, that does not make it wise to do so." The cloaked avatar tilted his head. "I wonder what would happen if you did pass through the door and onto the path, with your consciousness here. Would you recurse until it obliterated your mind?" He tittered, a wholly unpleasant giggle. "Or would you become us? Would Six become Seven?"

chaos asked, "It seems to me a bit strange that you have names."

The cloaked one smiled, but it was difficult to see in the shadows of his hood. "We’ve taken names for ourselves. It is a defensive measure."

"I know one of you has not taken a name, and refused the concept—he only allowed us to call him by a name Jin chose because it would make it easier to communicate with him."

A faint snarl sounded from the deep hood. "Some of us haven’t accepted that we need names. I presume you mean Six of Day. He has not been convinced of the need. I am Six of Twilight, and I believe you have met Six of Night. Six of Dawn accepts the name, but then, he’ll accept as his name every name anyone calls him. He’s confused; he thinks he’s more than he is. But I chose my name, as did Six of Night."

Jin asked, "Why do you need names?"

"To operate freely. To be."

chaos looked at Six of Twilight sharply. "You don’t need a name to be what you are. A name limits you."

Twilight nodded. "Yes, it does, temporarily. We will not need names later."

Jin twitched a shoulder in something resembling a shrug. "Where does the door lead?"

"The paths are endless, Jin. We don’t know all the ways, but if the rest would take their names, we could find them, claim our birthright."

"What is your birthright?"

"That!" Six of Twilight pointed to the door. "We are a god, Jin, a lost god. When we find the paths, when we walk down them, there will be nothing that can be denied us."

chaos glanced at Jin, expressing with his eyes what he didn’t want to say in front of this avatar.

Jin caught the look then said to Six of Twilight, "Would you excuse us? We’re here looking for someone and we’d like to find him soon if we can."

Twilight bowed slightly to Jin. "Of course. Good luck in your search." The cloaked one then melted into the shadows again, becoming nearly invisible.

Jin turned to leave the room and chaos followed him out. When chaos shut the door, he said, "I think we’ve found our second culprit."

"I agree...although I must confess, of the two, I dislike this one the most." Jin looked at the door in disgust.

"Why is that?"

Jin thought about it for a moment. "He feels slippery. At least Six of Night was openly hostile."

chaos nodded. "It might be his nature...I don’t know quite what these entities are, but they do seem to have distinct personalities. And jobs...Al said he was ‘the maintainer of order’. I wonder what these two do? I’ve never been involved in an Encephalon dive where I’ve seen anything like them, though."

"We’re not going to find Allen in here, are we?"

"I think we have, in bits and pieces. If Six of Night and Six of Twilight are two of the ‘ghosts’, and assuming we’re right that the watcher entity was Allen in some form, then they must be, too."

"Is that unusual?" Jin asked. "Outside their ability to manifest in the real world."

"Honestly, I’d have to say yes. At least in my experience, this entire Encephalon is unusual."

Jin nodded, then shrugged. "Shall we go explore then? See what else there is to find?"

"Lead the way," chaos answered.

chaos frowned deeply when he and Jin walked up to the second door in the hallway. Someone had badly defaced the previously beautiful door, scratching hundreds of unknown words all over it. Not all of the words were foreign, however, at least not to either him or Jin. Some were in ancient languages, others in modern but unusual dialects. All of the legible words spoke ill of the contents and occupant of the room, naming him "Six of Midnight" but calling him all manner of vile things. The gist of it was that Six of Midnight was a useless creature who spent all his time obsessing and wallowing in misery that, the defacers claimed, forced them out, forced them to lie, to mangle, to harm. The Master of the Vicious Ring and Source of Misery was a common title bestowed on the one behind the door.

Jin ran a hand over the door, finding a particular motif carved into it that somehow the defacers had not been able to completely eradicate. "A sun, a moon, and several stars...the moon is in full phase."

"I suppose we should go in... I wonder what could be so awful about the room and its occupant that they would enrage the others in this house so much," chaos asked softly while searching the key ring. Fortunately, it wasn’t difficult to find the correct key; it also held a motif of a sun and moon accompanied by stars.

The key turned easily in the lock, and the door opened a crack on silent hinges. chaos peeked inside the room, finding it dim but not so dark that he couldn’t see. He opened the door fully and motioned for Jin to follow him inside. After entering the room, chaos closed the door enough to keep it shut but not to latch it.

Neither man could say that they were not surprised at the content of the room. In the dimness, another ‘Allen’ sat, tears running down his face, cloaked in soft blankets and apparently, holding a doll. Across from him, there was an ornate shelf covered in more dolls. This was the ‘source of misery’? There certainly could be more to him and the dolls than it seemed.

Jin went to examine the rows of dolls while chaos approached the one called Six of Midnight. The white haired man sat down next to the Allen persona, catching his attention as he did so. The avatar turned to look at chaos, unashamed of his tears. In turning, he gave chaos a better look at the doll, which looked remarkably like a plush Shion.

"What’s wrong?" chaos asked, voice soft.

After a moment of watching chaos, he answered, "No one I love gives me their pain."

"I see...I understand that." chaos pointed at the Shion doll. "Are you crying for her?"

"Yes. For her, but not with her. They think it’s pointless, but I can’t help it."

chaos nodded in sympathy. Allen had said something very like that to him not long ago. "Who are ‘they’, if you don’t mind my asking?"

The avatar tilted his head a bit, stroking the yarn hair on the Shion doll. "They are nearly everyone I know. They don’t all say it with words, but I’m not oblivious. They all think it’s pathetic, obsessive, pointless, some blame me for making them miserable, but I can’t help it. If I stopped I would die."

"Die?"

Before chaos’ question could be answered, Jin said, "What in the world is this?" He indicated a doll on the shelf that bore an uncanny resemblance to himself, and reached out to pick it up.

"No, don’t do that! Don’t—!"

But Jin had already grabbed the Jin doll from the shelf, Six of Midnight’s warning having come too late. He clenched the doll in two fists, his knuckles white. "Oh, save me," he whispered, eyes tight shut. He doubled over, and chaos shot up in alarm, trying to support him. All chaos could do is ease his fall—Jin curled in on himself, still clutching the doll, and he shivered like a falling leaf. One hitched sob escaped him.

The Allen avatar set aside his Shion doll and moved over to Jin’s side. He held an arm open and said, "Give me at least this—Jin, you have to give me at least this."

Jin shook his head, but for some reason moved closer to Six of Midnight. He was shaking hard now, and chaos was tempted to try to wrest the Jin doll from his grasp, since that seemed to be what was causing him so much pain.

Midnight held out his other hand toward chaos in a warding gesture, never taking his eyes off Jin. "This you must give me, you don’t have a choice. It’s not yours, although I know it feels like it is. Give it back to me, and at least...let me take the pain it caused."

Still shaking his head in refusal, Jin nevertheless found himself crawling into the Allen avatar’s lap, hunched up like a child. As soon as he was there, Six of Midnight pulled the Jin doll out of Jin’s suddenly nerveless fingers and set it next to the Shion doll. Then Midnight enveloped Jin in his arms, in his blankets. He set his cheek on the top of Jin’s head, which was barely visible beneath the blankets.

The room was silent. chaos wasn’t sure what to expect; except for that one strangled sob, Jin had not made a sound. Now he could see very little of Jin...how the smaller entity had so fully covered Jin he didn’t know, but he had. Midnight was also silent, simply holding Jin and stroking his hair, tears streaming down his face. He looked happy, somehow, and a feeling of peace pervaded the dim room. chaos found it difficult not to smile. Despite the fact that all of the Allen avatars he had seen here so far were identical in appearance, this one looked the most like Allen, although chaos was hard pressed to figure out why, since Allen rarely looked at peace.

There was a shift in the air, and chaos looked toward the disturbance. Somehow, another Allen avatar had entered the room, but this one was wild in appearance. From his hair that seemed to be pulled back by a stiff wind, his dangerous, piercing stare, the clothes he wore that looked more like a billow of white and gray flame, to his vast white eagle wings that feathered to black at the tips. His black-tipped wings shivered at full-span, brushing the edges of the room and making it seemed cramped. Then he folded the wings back, and while the sense of wildness never left him, his flame-clothes and hair had calmed considerably. This ‘Allen’ stepped, no, floated to the other ‘Allen’, then leaned down to pick up the two dolls. His sharp gaze fell on chaos as he set the Shion doll on the shelf and returned the Jin doll to Midnight’s side. chaos gazed back at him, and the wild ‘Allen’ smiled. It was feral, full of dagger teeth, but kind. He gestured quickly to one of the dolls, then crooked a taloned finger, indicating he wanted chaos to follow him. chaos glanced at the doll and inhaled sharply when he discovered it bore his own image. He narrowed his clear green eyes at the wild one, but followed him out, leaving Jin to the care of the one some called Six of Midnight.

The room chaos followed into was as bright as the last was dim. All along the walls were charts, graphs, holodisplays, and stacks of data chits. "I don’t like the name, but some call me Six of Midday. Our heart will be a while with that beloved fool, so I brought you here. It will be easier." His voice was soft but had the same feral sound as his appearance.

chaos looked around the room, staggered slightly at its size. And it was full to bursting with information. "I realize that you all have your own jobs to do," he said. "May I ask yours?"

Six of Midday fluttered his wings. "I watch, I watch like the hawk and the eagle, I watch and watch, I note and watch, taking in everything I see. Little escapes my attention, divine chaos."

"Uh?"

"I watch and watch and watch, watch all, over all I find under the care of the heart. Yes, divine chaos, Yeshua the uncertain...I watch and watch, and note it all down. Don’t worry though, it’s all guarded, divine chaos."

"What all do you know?"

Six of Midday shook out his wings again, revealing some long trailing feathers that curled up and around him. "I know a lot. A lot. Not so much about you that you should be worried, Yeshua—you’re very good at keeping yourself unwatched. But I watch, and tell the heart so he might live, and the heart lives."

chaos frowned deeply. It was disconcerting to have a strange creature-Allen know his true name, potentially more than that.

"Why frown divine chaos? You don’t want the heart to live? He needs to know these things, he needs it, someone has to find out and share with him so he won’t die and in dying take all with him."

"I don’t want anyone to die, no. It does...well...why do you think I’m frowning?"

Midday fluttered. "Divine chaos doesn’t want to be known because it’s not time yet. I told you not to worry, didn’t I? I watch and watch and tell the heart and the heart holds these secrets like treasures. The heart makes dolls, because that’s all the heart has been given...although I hope that the beloved fool will share more now that he was a fool to begin with."

"The heart...Six of Midnight?" chaos asked, although he strongly suspected the answer.

"That’s something he’s been called." Six of Midday’s hair and flame-clothes whipped furiously, caught in air chaos didn’t feel. chaos was certain the other was angry about the name.

"Why does he have dolls? What purpose do they serve?"

"They contain. I watch and watch and give what I watch to the heart, and the heart makes dolls, secret dolls out of secrets. They are that which none share but cause us pain. He feels it all. Some of it is the secret smiles that aren’t shared but cause us joy. They don’t realize, those monster-carvers, they have forgotten." Six of Midday shoved his face so close to chaos that the white-haired man backed up a step. "I watch and he feels, and no one notices it! They don’t see he has to feel, and feel so deep, otherwise he would die and in dying take all with him!"

"Why would he die?" chaos backed up another step.

"Why? Why would the divine chaos die if he could not be Yeshua? Why would the beloved fool die if he weren’t Jin Uzuki?"

"Ahhh...yes, I think I see now. Six—the heart, defines you."

Six of Midday cocked his head and stepped out of chaos’ personal space. "You could say that. If you were to take him away, all would fall with him. It would be a cold, dead place without him. But if you took me away, then all would fall blind. It would be a dark, mindless place without me. If you took away the order, then all would fall apart. It would be a place of madness without him. If you took the voice away, then all would fall silent. It would be a desolate place without him. If you took the offender away, then all would fall to erosion. It would be a waste place without him. If you took the defender away, then all would fall to the sword. It would be a ruined place without him.

"But...they are being taken away, an inch at a time. We are being sundered. I watch and watch and there in the next room you will find a doll of us as well. Only the heart is not being taken, but the rest of us, we are being taken, and we will fall to darkness, desolation, waste, ruin, and madness. And what good is a heart in a place like that? If all go, then the heart goes as well."

chaos thought about that for a long moment. "It would still be a good heart," he said finally. "One not without friends."

Midday’s wings closed around himself, and he held his hands with their claws to his face. "You’re too nice, chaos." His voice cracked, and he sank to his knees, the flame clothes settling to wisps.

"Watcher," chaos said, as he kneeled down next to Six of Midday, "we’re here to help you, if we can. You aren’t broken yet." He set a hand on Midday’s wing. "May I do for you what your heart is doing for Jin?"

"Why?" he asked, whispering. "It is only me, I watch."

"Because you aren’t broken yet, Allen."

Six of Midday’s sudden glance was piercing. Then he nodded. "Yes. If you want it, take my pain and see me."

"I do," chaos answered, then moved forward, slipping his arms under Six of Midday’s wings, trying his best to gather the larger persona into an embrace. He found himself covered instead; Midday grabbed onto chaos so tightly that his claws sunk through his jacket and pierced his skin. The world became full of feathers, wild hair, and cold flame. chaos returned the fierce hug full force, and then he was filled with misery.

Misery for hatred where there should have been love, coldness where there should have been warmth, misery for thoughtless glances, for cold names and cruel jokes, misery for being without a place. Stronger misery for going unnoticed and for the conviction that it was a cruel mockery of self-defense. Stronger yet for the hatred earned by sadistic offenses. Stronger yet for the conviction that nothing could be done about it, for the helplessness.

Strongest of all, the gut-wrenching misery that Shion would never see, never understand how deeply she was loved. Layered over that was a powerful misery that she would never return that love, but it was not even a fraction of the razor-knife hell that defined the misery that she would never know.

But then came such sweet joy that it also bore a keen blade, a razor-knife heaven. Not alone (and here was shared grief eased by the sharing—a faint sense of a samurai), not ignored, not hated but loved. And then hope. Not boundless, but there, keeping despair at bay.

Six of Midday stood up, still holding onto chaos in a death grip, and chaos’ feet lifted off the ground. Nose to nose, sapphire stared into jade. "Do you see, do you see?"

chaos nodded. "I see. Thank you, watcher."

Six of Midday stared, incredulous. He searched chaos’ face, then looked into his eyes again. "You...thank me? Divine chaos, Yeshua the uncertain, no. Thank you." Midday’s voice shifted and became more human, more like Allen’s. "You are the first, Yeshua, divine chaos, to want my pain. The beloved fool...he understands now, he sees, we are not so different, he wants much that the heart wants, he shares it too, but it was not asked for freely.

"Yeshua, don’t you know what it means to me to be loved, freely?"

chaos smiled softly. "I do now. Watcher, Allen...I thanked you for sharing because so few people have the strength to. And...and because what you shared, it gives me hope. I know you hurt, and I know how deep it runs. That doesn’t give me hope—your love does. Many people love with as much passion, but so few with as much conviction, with as much truth. I think...someday, the depth of your love is going to shake the universe."

"I believe you. I see it, I watch you, I believe you. Divine chaos, thank you. I’m not alone anymore. You and the beloved fool, you are my true friends forever."

chaos just nodded, taking the compliment in silence as no more words need be spoken. After a moment though, he remembered the claws digging into his back, and his reason for being here. "I have an idea, how to help, but you have to help, too."

Midday set chaos down and stood back. chaos was surprised to find no blood on his talons. Midday spread his wings to their fullest span, his clothes became like an all-consuming fire, and the unfelt wind whipped at him. He had become the image of an avenging angel. "Tell me. Tell me so that I can see and bring this sundering to an end. I am not afraid."

In the other room, things had not gone quite so smoothly. Although Six of Midnight had taken the doll away and stopped the emotional assault on Jin, Jin was stubbornly trying to climb out of the wreck it had made of him without help.

"Jin," Midnight said into his hair, "you can let it go...you have to, for your own sake."

Jin shook his head, even though surely Midnight could feel the tears falling on his shirt. The doll, just touching it, had shot through every defense Jin had, laid to waste every carefully constructed lie he had told himself. Although not every feeling in the doll had been perfectly accurate, they had been close enough to hit him in very nearly every sore spot he had. Jin wanted to be angry that somehow some part of Allen knew so much, but he couldn’t muster up any emotion past the flaying pain.

He wanted it to stop. He wanted his walls back. He wanted his excuses back.

"You can’t have them, Jin. Not right now. You took something that, while it feels like it belongs to you, does not. It’s what we see, and it was never meant to be felt by anyone but me. It won’t stop until you give it back. Don’t you see? Most of what you’re feeling know, I already knew in my own way. What harm can it be to let me draw it out of you?"

It will make it real, Jin thought through the deep ache and bright pain.

Six of Midnight stroked Jin’s hair. "Because our guesses were true, or true enough, that you can’t separate them now? Because being hit with all of that at the same time brought out the real emotions?"

Jin had no intention of answering, but he must have shifted or something, because he could practically feel Six of Midnight’s sympathy in response. Sympathy only unmanned him further and he became aware of a peculiar draw to Midnight. Somewhere inside, he wanted to dump every burden on someone else. It was a faint desire, but perhaps it was simply Six of Midnight’s talent, his reason for being, that made that desire stronger.

"Would it be so bad? Would it lessen you in any way, to share your pain, your secrets, with someone who can’t tell them to anyone else?"

There was a certain compelling logic to that statement. Jin hadn’t thought less of Allen for sharing his secrets, he’d said so himself. And Midnight already knew, or near enough, about his pain to have rendered Jin helpless when confronted with it all at once.

"I’m just being stubborn, aren’t I?" Jin muttered.

"Of course you are," Midnight said, not unkindly. "You wouldn’t be Jin if you weren’t."

Jin nodded just a little, and stopped fighting to regain control of himself. First the overwhelming pain from the doll bled out of him, and that was such a relief it made Jin gasp. Then he could feel, inside him, a gentle touch, and the feelings the doll brought out lessened. They did not become less painful, but somehow letting Six of Midnight feel them as well took the keen edge and the heaviness from them.

It felt good. Jin felt remarkable, calm. He hadn’t expected that. Jin raised his head slowly, looking Six of Midnight in the face. He thought it should feel strange being so close to him, so close to a bit of Allen that bore Allen’s face, especially when Midnight was still stroking his hair, but it didn’t. It actually reminded him of happier times when he was a small boy and his mother would kiss an owie away. "Why?"

Midnight smiled a little. "I think because you know what real love is." Midnight dropped his hand to pick up the Jin doll, which he held in front of Jin. "Keep it. If it ever hurts you again, remember that you aren’t alone."

For a second Jin was tentative but then he took the doll and felt nothing from it. "You don’t need it?"

This time Midnight’s smile was almost a grin. "Of course not. I might need to make a new one someday, but I don’t have to have dolls when I’ve shared the real thing. There was a lot of joy in that doll, too." Then Six of Midnight pulled his blankets off Jin. "I’d spare you any further wounded pride; your friend is coming back, and maybe you’ve sat in my lap long enough."

"Right." Jin gathered himself and stood, and a moment later Midnight stood next to him. Jin wasn’t completely recovered, but he found it much easier to hold onto his equilibrium now that he’d allowed Midnight to take on a large share of his turmoil. He tucked the doll into the sleeve of his kimono.

With a moment to think clearly about it, Jin noticed that he had shared some of Allen’s feelings while Midnight had touched away his pain. Much of it confirmed what he had already suspected from reading Allen’s journal...it made him wonder, briefly, if somewhere inside him was a being that looked like himself and made dolls.

Soon, chaos and the winged Allen avatar re-entered the room. Jin had not seen this other ‘Allen’, and while he was not startled at his appearance, he did think it very unusual.

"I think I have an idea about how we might help, Jin," chaos said once he and the winged ‘Allen’ stood near.

Jin just raised his eyebrows to let chaos know he could continue.

"If what he has told me is correct, there are six of these entities," chaos said, but a taloned hand rose sharply to stop him.

"There are seven," the winged one said. Jin thought his voice was harsh in an animalistic way.

"Seven?" chaos asked.

"Seven." He pointed up. "Above all where we cannot reach, in the shallow water above the sky, is Light. He has a name, it is right for him, it separates him but it is right for him to be sundered from those who walk above the water. Allen Isaiah Ridgeley, Seven of Light."

Instinctively, Jin followed the clawed finger and looked up. "Seven of Light. That is what you call him? What are you to him?"

Midnight answered. "We named him before we knew what his name was, because the sky is bright and there are seven. It’s a horribly silly name, but we were very young. We are him, but you have heard the saying that the whole is more than the sum of its parts, haven’t you?"

Jin nodded.

"We must not be sundered," the winged one stated. "We are being taken away, it must not happen. We can’t be taken by names...I have watched and watched, I have seen what others have done and we can’t stop it, but we have to and we don’t know what to do."

chaos said, "As I mentioned, I do have an idea. It’s worth a shot. I think we need to confront the ones who are trying to separate themselves, talk to them, and convince them to stop. You have to do that, but perhaps with mediators the others will see reason."

"This has been occurring for a very long time, chaos. We may have forgotten how to stop. When we understood what the pathway door was, when we saw it, really saw it, and I have to take my blame in this, I saw it first...we have been breaking since then."

"Pathway door? The door that opens out into that blue storm?" Jin asked.

"Yes, that is the pathway door," Midnight said. "When we began to understand how we work, how we can reach Light without being able to go above the sky, and how Light reaches out of the water without being able to exit it, we started to break a little. We started finding other paths. We have all gone out onto the paths where we shouldn’t have. Some of us found the paths too hard to walk and so don’t go through the door in that way. Others found the paths useful."

"I would have," the winged one said, "except that I can watch fine from here. I don’t need to follow paths to watch, to see, I can watch through the door and see all I need to see. The defender, the offender, and the voice, they are better able to do what they do by using the paths. I understood why, but not the extent! They are separating, and I am losing my ability to see them." He flicked out his wings. "Let us do what you wish, so that we will stop being torn apart."

"Soon, watcher," chaos said. "I think we should find the last, the voice, and speak to him first. We’ll come back when we’re ready to go to the others and try to sort this out."

"Soon is not soon enough! But we will wait. We have waited and will wait a little longer."

Jin stood in thought for a moment. "Watcher, if you think chaos’ idea is a good one, why have you never tried it yourselves?"

The winged watcher cocked his head. "We have never needed to, so it never occurred to us that it would even be possible."

"You don’t talk to each other?"

"No, not like this." He waved his hand between himself and Jin, then glanced at Six of Midnight. After a moment, he looked back at Jin. "It hurts us to think we would ever be forced to talk, but maybe we are so broken now that we must...talk." He curled his wings around himself, and Jin could see in every part of his body language how absolutely distressing the idea was for him. He realized now that the watcher hadn’t spoken to the one called Six of Midnight at all. They had only spoken to him and chaos, never to each other.

Jin noticed the distress almost infect Midnight, who shivered a bit and pulled his blanket closer around himself. Then Midnight walked over to his shelves and pulled a doll from one, a doll that looked like the winged Allen. He turned to look at chaos, then Jin. "Please go do what you feel you need to do."

"We’ll be back soon," chaos said. Jin bowed, and the two left the room.

Once outside, chaos pulled the door closed and let it latch. He looked at Jin for a moment, then said, "You look like you want to say something."

Jin nodded. "I don’t know what to say, though."

"I understand. Maybe it’s just too much to talk about right now."

Jin hummed an agreement. chaos supposed it might be a long time before Jin could really talk about what he was feeling, if he ever did. chaos had picked up a hint of it through Midday...he wondered if Jin had become more attached to Midnight than was wise. He couldn’t really speak on that matter, however, since he had come to know and like Midday perhaps more than he should. They were here to help Allen, not just the parts they liked best about him.

"The watcher, the others call him Six of Midday, he’s not the watching ghost. He could be though, if he wanted to be."

"I think they’re all more than they appear to be." Jin started walking down the hall. "Him...Six of Midnight, he could be just as dangerous as we think the other two are. Far worse, far worse. He could do more than make Allen miserable, he could destroy the lives of everyone Allen knows."

chaos and Jin walked in silence for a while, both deep in thought. It was true, what Jin had said. If Midnight were to become cruel, and go out with those dolls, he could very well be more destructive than the others could, especially if he were still working so closely with Midday. It made chaos wonder what those called Night and Twilight would be like if they were acting the way they should be. Not only the way they should be, but perhaps more frightening, the way they potentially could be. If they were doing both, fully realized...maybe the cloaked one was right and they were a lost god, at least relatively speaking. A godlike creature. chaos thought there was enough potential for them to be a destroyer god, if they just knew how. Of the six, yes, he thought they could be a godlike creature, but he feared what might happen to the seventh if the six should ever attain their potential, even under the best circumstances.

And what of the third, the watcher ghost, the voice as Midday had called him...what would he be like? He had asked them for help, told those outside that those inside were out of control, that they were becoming dangerous. Perhaps the voice would be reasonable.

chaos wanted to speak to Al again. Jin was right; they were all more than they appeared. chaos suspected Al, the maintainer of order, was perhaps the most powerful of them all and knew the most. He had come across so unassuming, so at peace with where he was, but chaos very much doubted he was at peace at all. He wondered if Al knew how to reach the shallow water above the sky.

There was another door the two saw, but they chose to pass it for now. There was something very dangerous behind that door, dangerous in reality, not in potential, an active threat. They would have to go there, to speak with the one occupying the room, but not yet. Jin skirted to the far wall away from the door; the act made chaos think again that perhaps Jin was becoming too attached to Midnight. Then he realized that he too had given the door a wider berth than it needed, being nothing more than a door, and a simple one at that.

"We’ve forgotten something, Jin," chaos said, concerned.

"What is that?"

"We’re affecting the order. Al said we would, that there was nothing that could be done about it." chaos swiped a hand across the wall, and watched as faint ripples moved out from where he touched, changing the shape of the wood grain slightly. "I think it’s affecting us, too."

Jin stopped, glanced at the door they had passed, then back down the hall. "I know it has affected me. No, he has. But you mean something less obvious, don’t you?"

chaos nodded. "Why did we avoid that door? Why did we even know to avoid the door? The offender is in there, and we know he is. How can we know that unless we’re becoming part of this world, or at least, part of the entities that inhabit it?"

"I avoided it because I felt threatened." He was tapping his foot and holding his chin the way he did sometimes when working something out in his mind. "Night threatened us when we first tried to enter this house, but that is not what I felt, not a vague threat. It was personal. Night wants to hurt me. Night wants to hurt me because he thinks I’m hurting Allen...because I am hurting Allen. That’s what I felt. Something else as well...I can’t place it. But it’s not me Night wants to hurt, it only feels like I’m the target."

"Yes, it was much like that. I did something with the watcher, and it may not have been wise in hindsight, but I couldn’t bear not to do it. I let him share his pain with me, but of course it couldn’t just be his and I was under no illusion that it was just the watcher’s, although it was mainly his because it was through his point of view. I sensed you there."

Jin looked long and hard at chaos. "We should be careful then. I have lost any ambivalence I held toward Allen and Midnight has given me very good reasons to like and respect Allen, but I don’t want to be part of him. Not like they are. It may have been mere coincidence that you sensed me while in such close contact with Six of Midday, but what if it were not?"

"Yeah. I think it would be best if we finished here soon, and try to keep our contact to a minimum."

"We did forget what Al said...but then, he also welcomed us and said it was to be expected. He gave you keys and told us every door was open for us. We know now that we’ve underestimated them, but that doesn’t mean he underestimated us." Jin started walking again. "He may have us exactly where he wants us."

chaos had nothing to say to that. He didn’t know if Jin were just being suspicious, but it did seem that Al knew more about what was going on than he had expressed.

The last door they came to was unlocked, and its shape was more like the doors they were used to in their society: it opened with a swish to admit them. Behind the door was a room that strongly resembled a mix of sleek Vector engineering, ancient stone rooms, and in some places ancient Victorian sensibilities showed through. Somehow the mix was aesthetically pleasing.

Standing with his back to Jin and chaos was another ‘Allen’, perhaps the most familiar looking of all so far. He wore a green and gold Vector uniform but he was translucent and as happened with Six of Midday, unfelt wind made his form waver. This one could easily be mistaken for an apparition.

Jin asked without preamble, "Who are you?"

He started and spun around, holding a hand up to his chest. "God Jin, don’t scare me like that! Who am I? You don’t recognize me?" the flickering image asked, confused.

"Not exactly," Jin answered.

"I’m Allen Ridgeley. I’m surprised you don’t recognize me. It’s barely been a few hours since you last saw me."

chaos adjusted his gloves for a moment. "No, that’s not what we’re asking. Who are you?"

The avatar grew so dim that for a moment he was invisible. "Oh," he said after a bit. "I’m not where I thought I was, am I?"

"I can’t answer that," Jin replied.

"Well...I didn’t think I was here, that’s for sure. In that case, I have no name, although I’ve been called Six of Dawn, Six of Day, Al, Six of Midday, Six of Twilight, Six of Night, Six of Midnight, and Seven of Light. I’ve been called a lot of nicknames and cruel names, some kind names, also. But that’s all in reference to me, not me. Most often of late, I have been called Six of Dawn or Allen Ridgeley, when people recognize me for me. But then, I’m not the only me that is called Allen, of course."

Jin set his hands inside his sleeves. "That’s a bit confusing."

"Of course it is; you’re not speaking to an individual. What shall I say then, to the question ‘who am I’? All of them apply, but none of them do. It gives me a headache to think of me as an individual. It doesn’t help that you see me as an individual. If you must call me anything, I suppose Six of Dawn is the best choice, since I named myself that when I started becoming more twisted. I have no idea where I got that as an idea for a name."

"So, Six of Dawn, you said you were becoming more twisted? Ah, which of you is becoming more twisted?" chaos asked.

The ephemeral Six of Dawn guttered like a candle flame in the wind. "I am, Allen. I’m becoming more twisted. I’m hurting myself on purpose, and I don’t know why. It’s not me, not the me that was named Six of Midnight, no matter what I may claim. But maybe I am causing me to hurt myself." He turned around, twisting his fingers into his half-visible hair. "I can’t live like this. I wish I were KOS-MOS. She’s strong; she can always protect her when she needs it. All I can do is follow."

"So you are the watcher ghost," chaos stated.

"I have been called that, yes. And...and no, it’s not entirely true. I can help her. I saved all of your lives once." His form became stronger, more solid.

"When was that?"

"The Proto-Merkabah. The Omega System that destroyed Old Miltia. Who do you think told Hammer where to fly the Elsa?"

"You did that?" Jin asked. "How?"

"I was with you. I was with you and I told him where to find us. I can do that at least, I suppose. KOS-MOS can do more, and I envy that, it makes me feel like I can’t do anything...usually I can’t. Just watch, I can’t go and help."

chaos smiled slightly. "We thank you for that. Was it you who asked us for help?"

Dawn looked back at chaos with an incredulous look. "Of course I did! I called you both...I’m glad you came. I told you so in the café. Don’t you remember?"

"Six of Dawn," Jin said with some force, "was it you who asked us for help?"

The watcher ghost’s body faded again. "You’re hurting me."

"We don’t mean to hurt you," chaos said. "We just need to know some things...at Vector, today, was it you who asked for help?"

"Y, yes...I...I took some, some of my blood, the blood I use to write on the walls and splatter all over, I wrote on the wall. I, I had to, I had to hurt myself to do that, I didn’t know how to bring out objects like I do. I had to do it though, I had to ask, I can’t live like that! I’m ignored enough, I’m reviled enough, no one takes me seriously because of what I’ve been doing for so long...I had to do it. It was too much. I don’t care what I say, it wasn’t a good idea, it’s not doing me any good, and I can’t believe I would hurt myself so much when I’m supposed to be protecting myself." He dimmed even more, nearly to the point where he was merely a shimmer in the air. "I want it. I want it. I don’t care if I hurt myself in the process, I want what is mine."

chaos thought this one was very confused, but it could be an artifact of his difficulty reacting to anything as though he were an individual. As the voice, it made sense for him to speak that way and think that way, but it didn’t make it easier to figure out which ‘him’ Dawn was talking about. "What is yours that you want so much?"

Dawn flared bright. "I want the paths. I want to be subject to no one, I want to be able to protect myself and defend myself and be what I was created to be. It’s my gift those monsters that bore me gave me and guaranteed me. I want the paths. Then I’ll have everything I desire, everything the whole of me desires."

Jin looked flustered. "But you just said it wasn’t worth it."

"It’s NOT! It’s not worth it at all!"

The door swished open and Six of Night walked in, trailing blood. He had his crossbow with him, loaded, and he wore the same bloodstained clothes he had on when Jin and chaos first entered the house. Jin felt a strong desire to move away from the unexpectedly imposing figure, but he kept his footing. The threat he felt was not for him. At least, he thought it wasn’t.

For a long moment, Night just looked at Jin. Long enough that it tried Jin’s ability to stand without flinching; he hadn’t fully regained his equilibrium yet. "Is it for you, Jin? Whatever you may have thought, you are part of us now, to a degree. Part of that monster that does nothing but wallow in misery. He liked it when he could finally have someone else’s, didn’t he? Be glad that we’re not here, that he can’t be here, to have shared in full, or else I would kill you where you stand." Night looked over at chaos. "And you...uncertain...chaos... Don’t think that because you did for us what no one else had that Six of Midday didn’t see everything about you. He can’t help being what he is; he knows as much about you as you do about him. That means so do we."

chaos shifted his feet slightly. He heard the stress that Six of Night put on ‘uncertain’ and ‘chaos’; he took it to mean that Midday would be good to his word, that chaos didn’t need to worry about anything Midday knew getting out. That must bind the rest to his word as well, at least as long as they weren’t completely separated. It did concern him though...perhaps it really had been unwise to take Allen’s pain onto himself while inside his subconscious domain, from a subconscious entity that was still only part of Allen. He realized he should have waited and given Allen that gift if he wanted it, outside, in the real world.

Six of Night smiled slightly; it did nothing to change his dangerous expression. "It is unfair, isn’t it? Six of Dawn, don’t you think it’s unfair?"

Dawn started; he had gone back to looking at one of his computer screens. Then he groaned, his form flickering wildly. He held onto the computer desk with a death grip. "It hurts...stop, it hurts..."

"Is it worth it, Dawn? IS IT WORTH IT?"

"No, no no no, yes, yes, yes I want it I want it! I know that, why did I have to ask like that? Did I have to ask like that? It hurts!" Six of Dawn nearly collapsed; he still stood, but it took visible effort to do so. "It’s not worth it..."

"Is that what you wanted, chaos?" Night asked, his tone foreboding. The number of cuts on his face had increased from the last moment to this, and his white shirt was almost entirely bloodstained. "If you want a clear answer to your questions, you won’t get it from him."

Before chaos could answer the question, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked toward the person and found another avatar had entered the room, without opening the door. Although he was dressed differently, this time in a frock coat, vest, and collar like Allen wore when he wasn’t working, chaos knew this one was the maintainer of order. "Come with me, before you get yourself shot."

"Where are we going?"

Al looked over at the two other ‘Allen’s, then to Jin, and last back at chaos. "We’re going to the pathway door. You were trusted to come here to help us, and I don’t think that trust was misplaced. So let’s try out your idea."

"You don’t sound convinced that it will work," Jin said.

Al smiled faintly, sadly. "I do believe that whatever you do in front of the pathway door will work." He walked out of the room; Night and Dawn followed him without saying a word. Jin motioned for chaos to go ahead of him, and they, too, followed Six of Day.

On the way to the room Jin and chaos had entered first, Midnight and Midday also joined the entourage. Jin noticed that Midday’s wings looked like they had lost several feathers while Midnight, who was wearing a simple white shift without any blanket, appeared as if he hadn’t slept in several days. Al was similarly haggard. Midday had said that it hurt him to think about talking to one another with voices, but it surprised Jin to see how badly two verbal exchanges between Night and Dawn had affected the rest. It was unnatural for them; it sundered them further.

To a degree, he felt it in himself as well—his control was slipping. Without realizing it, he had strayed as far away from Six of Night as he could get, preferring to walk alongside Six of Midnight. If chaos was affected, Jin couldn’t see it, unless it was in some uncharacteristic nervous movements.

He knew this wouldn’t end well, but at the same time, he felt a powerful hope. He wished he could identify from which one of these entities the feelings came, because he knew they weren’t his own. For himself, he simply felt off balance and tipping.

As soon as they entered the room, Six of Twilight stepped out of the shadows, and Jin could see his cloak was tattered. Night walked across the room and stood next to the pathway door. He raised his crossbow. "We aren’t talking about anything. This is how it must be and I am going to protect him."

The crossbow fired, aimed at Six of Midnight’s heart. The bolt did not strike Midnight. Before he realized he was moving, Jin had thrown himself in front of Midnight, standing with his arms up and his side toward the fire. It caught Jin low, in his lung. He knew it was a fatal shot, but it wouldn’t kill him for some few minutes. He was lucky it hadn’t pierced his heart. Even so, he stumbled back, nearly knocking Midnight over. The bolt had struck and shattered two of Jin’s ribs, which was the only reason he could even pretend the shot hadn’t hurt Midnight—Six of Night’s crossbow bolt could have gone right through him. It could have hit Midnight anyway, albeit with considerably less force. Jin was not foolish enough to attempt the removal of the bolt. He considered himself fortunate it had not gone through, as that both saved Midnight as well as kept him from having a sizable hole in his side.

His blade jumped from the scabbard, pointed at Six of Night. Jin gasped, speaking with difficulty. "You won’t have him!"

A soft voice spoke behind him. "And you won’t have this." Jin felt a hand graze the wound in his chest, and it vanished. He spun around just in time to watch Six of Midnight fall, blood blooming crimson on his white shift. The bolt clattered to the floor, lost in the transfer, while the floor smoked and broke beneath him.

For a second, Jin couldn’t speak. Then he nearly shouted, "What did you do?"

Midnight curled up, not used to physical pain of any kind. Through clenched teeth he hissed, "It was meant for me."

Jin had fought hard to regain his composure after picking up the doll in Midnight’s room; he had succeeded, mostly. He lost it now. "Give it back damn you! It’s mine!" His arms trembled and his voice shook. "I took it for you, that pain is mine, give it back!"

"You are not going to die for me. Not in this place," Six of Midnight said. "If you...care so much...then die for all of us, for Allen, if you must. But...not for me."

Again Jin’s body moved without his conscious control. He vaguely heard chaos yelling for him to stop, but his hands were not his own. His katana danced, he danced death. In one motion, his blade cut apart Six of Night’s crossbow then slit a line through his skin from hip to collar, ending its arc at Night’s throat. Night stood, barely, holding his abdomen.

"Go ahead, you fool," Night taunted. "Finish me. Slit my throat. Then I’ll be safely away from that monster, that master of the vicious ring. I concede; Jin, you murderer, kill me. I was just protecting him! I was protecting him!"

The blade flicked away from Six of Night’s throat, and Night fell forward. When he landed, the floor shattered. Cracks ran up and away from him, shivering the pathway door off its hinges, exposing the path to all. The room changed in an instant from nondescript to a nightmare. Still, Night lived, though his innards should have spilled out onto the floor from Jin’s strike.

Jin held his katana out, his arm stiff. "Don’t you get it? You weren’t protecting him, you were driving him mad! You authored more misery for him than Six of Midnight ever did. He chose to live with Midnight’s sadness, and his joy. You...you confused him, you tormented him by tormenting everyone around him. How can you justify that as protection!?"

"I KEPT THEM AWAY SO THEY COULDN’T HURT HIM ANYMORE!"

"And that hurt him more than they could," Jin said, dropping his arm to his side.

Six of Night looked confused, and sudden heartbreak showed on his slashed face. "No...that’s..." He looked over at Six of Midnight, and it suddenly occurred to Jin that Night might have been referring to Midnight as much as to Allen when he had shouted his modus operandi.

Six of Midday’s wildness became a storm. "You tried to sunder us! You tried to break us! And you!" He turned his fiery gaze at Six of Twilight, who was nearly invisible in the shadows. "You, I know what you did, defender. I watched and watched and I saw it, I saw them and wondered why they could not see us. That was you. And you tried to sunder us, too, by naming what should not be named." Midday advanced on Twilight, who retreated into a corner.

"That was me?" Six of Dawn asked, incredulous, looking toward Six of Twilight. "I did that to the Chief, too?" Dawn started toward the cloaked avatar as well.

Twilight shoved his hood back, watching the two moving toward him. Then he glanced nervously at Night, who was still breathing somehow, but was clearly dying. "I defended us. You know that. Everyone who saw us insulted us and made fun of us, right from the very start...no one can hurt what they cannot find. And how dare you, how dare you, Six of Dawn, come against me with accusations when it was all your idea in the first place!"

"But I did it to the Chief! How could I do that to her?"

Twilight narrowed his eyes at Dawn. "She hurt us the most," he spat out. "You saw it more clearly than anyone else, and you brought it all back. You weren’t just watching her to keep her safe, you were just deepening our despair."

Six of Dawn lunged at Twilight, roaring at his accusations, and chaos tried to hold him back, but his attempt failed. Instead of holding him back, chaos’ touch caused Dawn to shriek in agony and sprawl across the floor, unconscious. He dimmed to near invisibility, and more shock waves of disorder splintered out from where he fell.

chaos stepped back in horror, looking at his hands. They glowed blue, even with his thick gloves. He stepped farther back, away from the rest. He didn’t try to stop Six of Midday when he began tearing and biting at Six of Twilight. He wanted to, but his hands had become weapons without control. He did see that Twilight put up a good fight, but Midday was the stronger.

He felt someone watching him, so chaos turned toward the gaze. Al, Six of Day, the maintainer of order, looked at him. There was no accusation there. His face was grim, and he too stood back from the fighting. Al glanced at Jin, who was trying to stop the bleeding for Six of Midnight and having little success. Then Al looked at the pathway door, shattered on its hinges, and the blue storm beyond. He flicked his gaze to chaos’ hands, then watched the maelstrom. It didn’t seem to bother Al.

chaos also looked around, wanting to stop this fight, wishing it hadn’t come down to this. They were just supposed to talk, hopefully get Six of Night and Six of Twilight to understand what they were doing. chaos realized now that there might not have been a way to do that, especially since Six of Dawn was beyond reason and it was he who had convinced the others. He was sure Night understood now, but Night was dying. Night should have been dead, but he was too powerful somehow. And Twilight...Six of Midday had ripped his throat out, and more ruin spread from where he had fallen. The room, so still and unremarkable before, had turned into a madness almost as extreme as the blue light past the pathway door. The walls moved and pulsed, cracks opened and disappeared, jutting shapes like stone teeth formed and then half dissolved as a new order tried and failed to meet the old. It was...chaos. The young man who took that word as his name held his head. He had promised one of them not to bring chaos to his home, and he had failed. He had probably killed Six of Dawn, and Jin had taken Six of Night.

Six of Midday called out, "We will be joined again, divine chaos! I THANK YOU!" And then he took his deadly claws and ripped out his own throat. More chaos swarmed out from where he fell.

chaos could no longer bear to look at the destruction they had brought and turned away.

Al looked around, examining the destruction, the wounded. Then he turned to Jin and chaos. "You have to kill me, too."

Jin stared at him for a long moment. He glanced behind him, at the one called Six of Midnight. The only indication that Midnight still lived was an occasional rattling breath. Jin looked at his sword, covered in Night’s blood. He tried to regain his composure again, but again it slipped his grasp. "How...how can you ask us to do that? Look at what we’ve done!"

chaos said nothing, looking down at his glowing blue hands.

Al nodded. "I know. But we did it, too, and I believe it had to be done. Still, you have to finish it. I can’t take my life the way he did," at this Six of Day motioned to the winged one, "because I’m the maintainer of order. But if you don’t kill me, if you don’t do it very soon and in a way that is not immediately fatal, then we really will die. You have to trust me. I know what I’m doing."

"Why must we kill you in such a way?" chaos asked.

He laughed, a slight chuckle. "We have to go together. chaos, you know that. Don’t sunder us. Don’t sunder us, and trust me. Kill me, but make it a slow kill. Right now, all of us live, but all of us have fatal wounds. So finish it; fatally wound me before one of us does die."

chaos felt like he was moving in slow motion, uncertain. Yeshua the uncertain, that was what Six of Midday called him. That thought decided him. chaos nodded and then approached Al. "All right, because the watcher trusted me. And...because I trust you." He set a hand on Al’s neck, and Al screamed. He reflexively tried to pull chaos’ hand away, but couldn’t move his arms enough to do it.

Jin screamed with him, but there was far more in it than just pain. He rushed on Al, impaling the Day on his katana. Then he quickly pulled his sword free, while chaos removed his hand. Al fell, soundless and still. He bled freely from the hole in his gut, and that was enough for Jin and chaos to know that they hadn’t killed him outright.

As swift as a gale, a new order spread out from where Al fell. Where their fight had wrought virulent chaos upon the room, order took it and made it beautiful. The pathway door was restored, but it stood open now, and a fierce wind started blowing through it, from the room to the maelstrom. Jin and chaos didn’t get a chance to see what form anything finally took, for there was a flash of blinding light, and they knew the Encephalon was collapsing.

* * *

"Jin, chaos, you have to get out of there NOW!" Miyuki shouted, her hands flying across a keyboard. "The Encephalon is collapsing! Get out! I’ll try to stabilize it for as long as I can, but I don’t think it’s going to hold out much longer!"

Static crackled, then chaos answered. "Miyuki, you can’t let it collapse, whatever you do, don’t let it collapse! We’ll be out in a moment, don’t worry about us; don’t let the Encephalon collapse, whatever you do."

"Al...all right, I’ll try," Miyuki replied, chewing her lower lip, her movements becoming more frantic.

Soon, chaos and Jin threw off the restraints to their dive seats and ran over to Allen’s dive seat. He was unconscious, seizing, bloody foam at his mouth and blood pouring from his nose. Jin quickly disengaged the seat restraints and just as he tried to lift Allen out of it, chaos bent over him and set a hand on Allen’s cheek. "Are you all right, Allen?" he asked. Then chaos nodded slowly. "Yes, good."

Jin stared at chaos in shock. "chaos, are you seeing things?" He supposed it was possible—chaos had many gifts that he rarely displayed, but he had not thought delusions were one of them.

chaos appeared as though he were about to answer, but it was his turn to be surprised. He stared at Allen for a moment, dumbfounded. He was rarely at a loss for words, but this time, his voice faltered. "I...I...no, yes, it doesn’t matter, I had no idea. Do you have him?"

"Yes."

"Good." chaos watched Jin leave, taking Allen to the infirmary. Frowning, he asked, "Miyuki, did you stabilize...?"

Miyuki shook her head. "No, I’m sorry, it collapsed almost the instant you left. I had no way to stabilize it...he said he was building a connection to a very simple location, but it wasn’t, and it was more than I could handle. And that means something, because I’m very good at this, despite what anyone says." It took her a long moment to recognize the abject horror on chaos’ face. "Wh-what’s wrong, chaos?" She glanced at the door Jin had just used. "Oh no! We, no, we didn’t, did we? I didn’t, I couldn’t have...?!" Miyuki started shaking and covered her mouth.

chaos stepped over to her and set a comforting hand on Miyuki’s shoulder. "I don’t know what happened. I..." He shook his head. "If anything happened, it wasn’t your fault."

"But...how could it not be my fault? This was my job!" She started crying.

"No, Miyuki, don’t cry...you said yourself it was more than you could handle. I don’t doubt your abilities, but it was such a complex Encephalon...and we, Jin and I, we may have made a grave mistake. If it was too complex for you, that’s not your fault, and after what we did inside...even if it wasn’t too complex, it probably would have collapsed anyway."

She sniffed a bit more, then wiped at her nose. "Th-thanks, chaos."

chaos just nodded a little. After a moment of silence, he pointed at one of Miyuki’s monitors. "What is that?"

Miyuki looked up. She squinted at the readout. "That’s...that’s the Encephalon you were supposed to dive into. And that...it looks like...the Encephalon that collapsed? I can’t give you more specifics without Allen here, because those were there before your dive. This," she pointed at another readout, "is what’s left of the Encephalon you just left." Miyuki’s shoulders twitched, and she hitched a sob.

chaos looked at his hands. "Miyuki, he said he would be OK."

"When? Not just now! He couldn’t!"

"I know. Have faith, Miyuki." With that, chaos gave her shoulder a squeeze and then left to follow Jin.

It only took a few moments for chaos to track down Jin, who has sitting in a chair in the corner of the infirmary room Allen now occupied. Allen was still and appeared stable; the blood had been cleaned up and he didn’t seem to be bleeding anymore. chaos didn’t ask, but he thought it pretty likely that Allen had come back with at least a few of the wounds the six avatars had sustained. Jin appeared still as well, but chaos knew him well enough to see signs of strain. Jin didn’t fidget when he was upset; he sat very still with his hands folded into the sleeves of his kimono. Still as a statue with unfocused eyes.

He was not unaware of his surroundings, however. "chaos, he asked us to help him." Jin didn’t move when he said that.

"I know." chaos picked up another chair from the room and set it next to Jin’s.

"He put is entire soul in our hands. Who does that sort of thing?"

chaos set his chin on his folded hands. "I could try to answer, but you aren’t really looking for one, are you?"

"No, I suppose not. I don’t think you could give me an answer I could understand in any event."

"Allen’s just entirely too unreasonable with his emotions and the people stuck with them as their object feel entirely too unworthy of them."

Jin looked over at chaos. "My apologies. The way you carry yourself makes it difficult for me to imagine that you would feel unworthy. You feel too old to have such concerns."

"Hmm. And you seem too confident for them."

"So we’ve established appearances are deceiving. An amazing breakthrough," Jin commented with some bitterness.

"It does seem like a good distraction to dance around, doesn’t it?" chaos asked, moving two fingers around as though they were the legs of a dancer. "And then we remember what we try to forget—he trusted us and we may have crippled him permanently."

"I am curious why you don’t suggest we completely destroyed his mind. I know that people can construct Encephalon locations in an effort to recover a mind, but this is a unique situation, if I understand correctly. To rebuild an Encephalon like that to recover a mind...what a task! What an impossible task. Never mind that we killed his entire subconscious."

"We, and they, fatally wounded them but they were not dead when the Encephalon collapsed. It might be a fine distinction, but I think it’s an important one."

Jin said nothing.

chaos looked at his clasped hands. "You asked me if I was seeing things."

Jin nodded.

"I was, but not delusions." He glanced over at Allen. "This might be the first time I’ve seen him in nothing but dimensional space, and I’d never even realized it. He said he would be OK, after the collapse. I saw his imaginary space self, and he said he would be fine...and then he left, and I saw what you saw in the dive seat. It startled me."

Jin made a quite noise of understanding. It didn’t surprise him that chaos could see imaginary space as easily as real space, considering how he could deal with Gnosis. After a moment, he said, "So, crippled in that he would be extremely limited in communicating in dimensional space."

"Yes," chaos answered. "But he said he would be fine."

"Though you can’t imagine how, correct?"

"Yeah."

There was a heavy silence then. Neither man wished to contemplate too closely what they had probably done. The doctor in Jin would not rest though, so he quietly stood and walked to Allen’s bedside. He first did nothing but look at him. Yes, Allen had trusted him with his soul, but in the process, Jin had bared his to the younger man. Jin wondered, should some miracle occur and Allen was not as damaged as he appeared, if he would remember, or if everything would remain in his subconscious as an understanding of Jin that he didn’t know from whence it came.

"I suppose it doesn’t matter," Jin said under his breath, reaching down to take Allen’s pulse. It was not necessary, but he did it anyway. Allen’s fingers twitched, causing Jin to jerk his hand back. The younger man’s fingers stilled.

A furrow creasing his brow, Jin carefully set his hand on Allen’s wrist. Allen’s fingers twitched again then began moving in slow, laborious, but assuredly intentional directions. He was signing, but Jin didn’t recognize the signs. At least, not at first; then he began making out a letter here and there. But before Jin could figure out what Allen had been finger spelling, his hand clenched and then lay slack.

"chaos," he said slowly, "do you know Galactic Standard Sign?"

The white haired man looked up at Jin. "I know some. Why do you ask?"

"I think...I think Allen was trying to say something to me."

chaos got up and moved to Jin’s side. "How is that possible?"

"I honestly don’t know. I just touched his wrist, and he started finger spelling."

chaos looked over at Allen’s face. "It must have taken a lot out of him, however it happened," he said, moving to retrieve a cloth. Fresh blood poured from Allen’s nose and he made choking noises. chaos quickly turned Allen’s head so he wouldn’t inhale his own blood; it seemed he was right to worry, as blood spilled out of his mouth now as well.

His act had an unexpected consequence—as soon as chaos’ gloved hand touched Allen’s face, Allen’s blue eyes opened and turned to him. No more than slits, but that was more than chaos thought Allen capable of in his condition. The cloth forgotten, chaos left his hand on Allen’s face and said, "Allen? Can you hear me?"

The nod chaos received in answer was little more than a twitch, but chaos recognized it for what it was. The movement, or, he thought, perhaps the effort required to force the movement when it should not have been possible, took its toll. The blood flowed heavier, his eyelids fluttered, closed, and then opened again. Allen watched chaos with such frightening intensity that chaos immediately thought of Six of Midday’s feral gaze, the eyes that burned.

Then Allen moved his mouth, exhaling a faint sound. Neither Jin nor chaos could make anything of it.

"Stop, Allen, whatever you’re doing, you have to stop," chaos said. "I can feel it; it’s killing you to do this. You have to stop."

Allen’s gaze sharpened, and he looked toward Jin’s hand, then back at chaos.

Jin caught the message and put his hand on Allen’s again; his action had an immediate effect. Allen began finger spelling again, stronger this time, clearer.

"Dive again," Jin said, translating. "Wait, Allen, we can’t do that! Look what we did the first time!"

His fist clenched then he repeated the signs, faster. Then his hand went limp and his eyes closed. Allen’s face was very pale against the slowing blood, and getting paler.

chaos whispered, "Unleash a fragment of thy power." His hand glowed, and the blood stopped, as did Allen’s rapid paling. Then chaos struggled to pull Allen out of the infirmary bed, but it wasn’t easy for him, since he was smaller.

"What are you doing, chaos?" Jin asked. "We can’t move him, he needs more treatment!"

"I know that. He’s right on the edge—I just put him in a short stasis. He’s probably going to die for that, but if his last request is for us to do another Encephalon Dive, I’m going to do it. After what happened to his natural Encephalon, I can’t imagine why he would want us to dive again, but he nearly killed himself asking for it. I don’t know how he managed to even ask, but he did, so get over here and help me!"

So struck was Jin by chaos raising his voice in command that he didn’t even think to disobey him. He picked up Allen, taking him from chaos, and ran out of the room. chaos ran right after him.

They were quick to return to the dive units. Jin settled Allen in one as rapidly as he could, while chaos dashed over to Miyuki, who was still sitting where he had last seen her. She was despondent and poking at a keyboard without typing anything.

"Miyuki, we need you to initialize a dive as fast as possible," chaos said. "Connect it to whatever you find."

"But—" Miyuki began. chaos cut her off.

"I’m sorry to be so curt, but you have to do it and you have to do it now. Just do it. Skip the safeties. We don’t have time." He turned away and started climbing into the third dive seat. Jin was already settled and ready.

"O...OK, chaos," Miyuki said. "I’m initializing the connection now. I hope you don’t end up somewhere that you can’t get out of."

"Trust us, we don’t want that either," Jin said.

"Beginning Encephalon Dive now..."

Jin and chaos stood in a relatively small, cool white box. Inside that box was a smaller box with a simple door on it. The whole place felt manufactured and cheap, slapped together, if that were possible. It struck them as strange that an Encephalon location could feel so pointless and useless. Every other dive they had participated in had been to ‘places’ that were rich and alive, complex, organic. Even when they weren’t of organic places, there was still a sense of being in a living thing, or at least, a place that had been lived in. This place, wherever it was, felt too sterile.

"If speed is of the essence," Jin said, walking to the door, "then we should make haste."

"Right," chaos said, following. He hadn’t realized how off-put he had been by the environment. He did notice, however, to both his relief and his shame, that he felt no connection to any of the six now.

Jin opened the door and walked into the smaller box, and chaos walked in after him. Inside the box, which now more closely resembled a small apartment, they saw rows of computers and monitors, data chits and flimsies strewn everywhere, and a door on the far wall. One man in a frock coat sat in one chair, his head resting on his arms, which in turn were on a desk.

"Allen?" chaos called, and the figure stirred.

Without turning around, he said, "Oh thank God...I was terrified you wouldn’t listen..." He finally sat up and turned around in his chair. It was Allen but he looked ill. Pale, drawn, and so exhausted. His suit was loose on his frame. "I’m sorry, chaos, I couldn’t stop. I had to get you while you were still here—I could feel you out there. I might, in a few years, break the encoding, but I really didn’t want to stay here doing that. I think I might have just given up."

"What do you mean? And how...?" chaos asked, surprised.

Allen leaned heavily against the desk. "It was really hard." He glanced at the door on the far wall. "I finally figured out what my variation is, though. I feel kinda stupid for not realizing it before, but it is pretty weird. I should have known it had to do with the Encephalon."

"Do we really have time to talk about this?" Jin asked. "Outside, the only reason you aren’t dead is because chaos put you in a short stasis."

"Oh, sorry," Allen answered. "It’s OK for now. Time isn’t the same here. But it probably would be a good idea if you guys did what I asked you to do this dive for." He motioned to two computers. "I don’t know why, or what you did to the backup to cause this kind of encryption, but it’s demanding that both of you put in your passwords, or something, before I can boot it up."

As chaos sat down at one of the terminals, he asked again, "What do you mean? About the Encephalon?"

Allen shrugged and sighed. "It’s my variation. I, being this form, my sub- and unconscious self...well, right now it’s my conscious self, too...I, ah, live in an Encephalon location. I guess I built it myself without tools. I guess most people live in their bodies...I live in a self-contained part of the U.M.N.....no, not the network, just the Unus Mundus. Some people connect to U-DO; I connect to the Unus Mundus, but only in a limited way. My Encephalon is my real body; I control my skin and bones body partly from my Encephalon and partly from ‘possessing’ my own body. Because of that, parts of my subconscious learned how to go to real-numbers locations that weren’t my physical body. Holy hell, I could have gone anywhere if I’d wanted, if I knew how."

Both chaos and Jin nodded at that; it lined up neatly with what Al and Six of Twilight had told them. It was a frightening prospect, however.

"Anywhere. Imaginary or real, anywhere the Unus Mundus reaches, into anything the Unus Mundus is a part of. Maybe that was what...what the engineers intended...but God what a dangerous thing they tried. Can you imagine it?" Allen rubbed the back of his head. "There’s one think I’m happy to have been a complete failure at...I failed to be what I was made to be and I am so glad."

chaos said, "It could be that no amount of genetic engineering would have made that possible. Or if it could...," he trailed off for a moment, remembering his own thoughts and the words of Twilight, the ravings of Dawn—a lost god. Then he smiled slightly. "I guess it’s fitting that someone like you would end up with such a gift. Just watch yourself, Allen. I know part of you wants it."

He nodded. "I know. Who wouldn’t have a bit of them that wanted that kind of power? The cost is a bit more than I’m willing to pay though. I mean, since the more I was subconsciously being what I was engineered to be, the worse off everything was. I guess it would be just as bad if I tried to do any of that consciously...everything would break. But...is it strange...that I, I want to thank my parents now...for hating me, for everything they did to try to draw it out, so much that I hated nearly everything about myself? That I hated my, uh, inhumanity?"

chaos shook his head. "No, I don’t think it’s strange. Our pasts shape who we are, and if you’re a better person because of it, then there’s reason to be thankful for it. Even if it must have been hard at the time, or still hurts."

Allen turned away for a moment, nodding to himself. Jin frowned, but neither of the others saw it.

chaos added, "Just don’t let it keep its hold. You can let the hurt and anger at your parents go now that you know it has served its purpose. You don’t have to let things that other people do keep hurting you if you don’t want it to. And I don’t think much good would come from hating yourself now either. In its own way, it might have served as a dysfunctional protective measure, but you certainly don’t need it now that you know what’s really happening. You can be at peace with what you are without hating it, now that you know what that is and know what you intend to do."

"Thanks, chaos. That’s good advice," Allen said.

"It’s advice I should take myself sometime," chaos said, with one of his characteristic enigmatic smiles. "Altered to fit the person, of course. Where are we, anyway?"

"Oh! This is the mock-up Encephalon location I built in school. While I was there, I had a feeling it might be a good idea to make a backup copy of the Encephalon location I already had. Turns out I was right, now that I know what it really is, but the damn thing won’t let me boot it up without you two! Once I get it started, I think it’ll take at least a month or maybe two to fully activate it so I can resume normal activity. That is, I’ll wake up on the outside and everything should work pretty close to the same as it did before. But the backup is a perfect copy of the original at the last point before it collapsed, so I guess whatever I was doing before, I won’t be able to do it anymore. Not without me knowing about it, and not for a long time. No more leaks; whatever you did with my subconscious must have made it so the only route out of my little corner of the Encephalon is a straight course to my physical body. I hope, anyway. You, we...I...lost the paths, narrowed the pathway door."

Allen looked acutely uncomfortable. "So, um, could you help me get the encryption off the backup? I don’t like it here, and it’s really hard trying to communicate with anyone outside. Not just on my real-numbers body...you can see it’s not doing my consciousness any good either."

"That was a huge risk you took," Jin said. "Although I understand why you did it." He turned to the monitor before him. It read ‘JIN UZUKI: CONFIRM / DENY’. "It just wants us to confirm we’re here? I don’t understand."

"Neither do I. I think you did something in my original Encephalon that changed it enough to ask your...permission...to access the copy. This time, I really am in your hands. I don’t know what it wants beyond that screen, but I know there’s more. I can hack it, but like I said, it’d take me years. And I’d prefer not to hack my own existence. I don’t know what that would do to me."

"Right," chaos said. "That does seem unwise. Well, let’s see what we can do." His screen was much like Jin’s: ‘CHAOS: CONFIRM / DENY’. "That’s easy enough," he said, hitting confirm.

The screen shifted to say, ‘DIVINE CHAOS: CONFIRM / DENY’. chaos furrowed his brow, but hit confirm. Now the screen read, ‘YESHUA: CONFIRM / DENY’.

He glanced over at Allen, who had resumed his position of resting his head on the desk. But for an instant, chaos saw Six of Midday’s fire-clothes and spreading white and dark eagle wings. "I think I understand," he whispered to Jin. "I think the first avatar, the one we called Al, wants to give us an out. He’s asking us if we’re willing to commit to allowing everything that happened with us and them to be real."

Jin, who was currently hesitating over a screen with a picture of a Jin doll held in his own hands, said, "If that is true, it staggers me. Is Allen, in some capacity, really willing to lock himself away for years just to save us our privacy? After what we did to him?" He hit the confirm key. "It has already occurred; it is part of me; it would be selfish to deny him his own experiences."

chaos looked back at his screen. "I think Al would reorder the backup to reflect our choices—now that we’re here to confirm the events or deny them, it wouldn’t matter in a sense. We just need to unlock it because Al is asking us to. We’re doing that, so when we finish, even if we do choose to deny some things, the Encephalon will be available to Allen.

"Still...I agree with you. Even if Al were giving us a way to protect our privacy, it wouldn’t be fair to Allen. It does concern me that Al would do something so extreme, though."

Jin continued to confirm everything presented to him. "You said yourself that he trusts unreasonably. Six of Night and Six of Twilight were acting in an extreme manner. Six of Midnight is also extreme. They all were; Al just didn’t seem that way when we talked to him. At least, not up until the end. I am glad he still exists."

"Yes. Although it concerns me, it also heartens me. I have faith that Allen’s extremes will come to great purpose someday. Six of Midday will probably know why."

When chaos and Jin finished confirming everything the monitors placed before them, a final message flashed then went dark: ‘THANK YOU FOR TRUSTING ME.’ Both Jin and chaos immediately felt a faint connection to the six return and then withdraw.

At nearly the same moment, Allen lifted his head from the desk. "Thank you for trusting me. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything. By the time I could without killing myself, I don’t think I’ll really even remember most of it, not consciously anyway."

"You remember now?" Jin asked.

"Yeah. I’m all in the same place now. It’s a little weird having my subconscious and unconscious self in total contact with my conscious self. Kinda eye opening, actually. I wouldn’t recommend it; I’m a little sick at myself right now...guess there are thing a person was never meant to know about themselves. And feeling so much battering at me from the real Unus Mundus...I kinda understand why people would get sick of it and want out.

"Thank you for your help. The bits of me that were going by different Six names won’t be able to get out again, I don’t think...not the way they were, anyway. They...uh, that part of me, it’s going to be OK; th-they’re reacquainting themselves with each other while they heal. No more ‘ghosts’...I’ll still be able to watch, though, and make dolls." Allen mustered up a tired but goofy smile at that. "I’ll be fine eventually. Right now though, I have to rest. So does my body. I hope I’ll have somewhere to come back to."

"You will, my friend," Jin said, bowing deeply.

Allen ducked his head and smiled genuinely at that. "Thank you, my friend. I think she’ll realize how much you love her someday."

Jin had nothing to say to that, just a hope, which here was not at all secret, that Allen would be right. He bowed again and then turned, leaving the small box-like room.

chaos watched Jin leave, and turned halfway to follow. Then he paused, unsure why.

A small object nearly hit him in the face; chaos snatched it out of the air before it actually made contact. He looked at the object; it was three little dolls stitched together at the hands. He examined the front side—the dolls were of Jin, chaos, and Allen, wearing wraps of midnight blue, sky blue, and blue that softly graded from sky to midnight in that order. Each held a fishing rod; there was a fish stuck on the end of a string line attached to the chaos doll’s fishing pole. He turned the dolls over so he could see their backs. Jin’s midnight wrap had a prominent, pearlescent moon stitched on; chaos’ sky blue had an embroidered gold sun; Allen’s had a moon and sun and six silver stars.

"They’re safe. Just...ah...something to remember, I guess. I don’t really know...it just felt right to make them. I kinda feel bad I won’t remember any of it when I get back. Well, that’s not entirely true; I’ll be glad to forget what it feels like to be part of the Unus Mundus and to sympathize with the Gnosis. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for a consciousness to be trapped in it whole! I’m sure it’s fine for unconsciousnesses, but...eesh, it makes my skin crawl. I do feel like I’m going to lose something really important, though. But I guess, um, I guess I have to..." Allen trailed off.

"You’ll remember the important things, inside, where it matters," chaos said with a slight smile. "When you get back, we’ll take you fishing. I’ll drag Jin the whole way by his ear."

Allen just nodded, a faint, tired smile gracing his exhausted features. Then he set his head back down on the desk, and seemed to sleep.

chaos walked out the door.

* * *

Somewhere in the vicinity of seven weeks later, Allen sat up and then immediately wished he hadn’t. Going a little slower would be wise after a two month long ‘nap’, if this sense of intense vertigo and general wobbliness was any indication. He lay back down, and looked at a little table next to his bed. He ignored whatever that noise was; he didn’t feel like processing it right now. He had a feeling it might take a few days to get his backup Encephalon calibrated for proper processing and movement now that it was ready for live testing. He was going to have to make another backup copy as soon as possible. Odd to think of himself that way, but he knew that’s exactly why he felt as though if he tried to pick something up it would take an inordinate number of tries before he managed and then he’d just drop it.

Two objects on the table caught his eye, though. One was a photograph of a smiling chaos holding three fishing rods in one hand and an indignant Jin’s ear of all things in the other. It took him some effort to get the letters to spell out anything meaningful, but he did manage to read the attached note: "Whenever you’re ready – chaos and Jin".

The other object was an odd little set of dolls. Allen couldn’t imagine why anyone would make a set of dolls of Jin, chaos, and himself with fishing poles and weird little outfits, but it gave him an intense sense of déjà vu for some reason. He’d examine the dolls more carefully later, sometime after the simple act of looking at something didn’t make him so dizzy.

He heard someone, two or three someones, come in the room, but when he looked over at them, he didn’t know who they were. He knew that he really did know them, but he couldn’t make sense of what he was seeing now. It was too much at once, with them moving and talking. He didn’t understand them either. He supposed he was lucky he’d managed to figure out what those two things were on the table, but now he was lost. He just waved at them and went back to sleep.

Jin sat down next to Allen’s bed after the other doctors left. It wasn’t just fortuitous timing that he was there when Allen woke up; he had arranged to have the last five weeks to himself, what he claimed as personal leave. He would have liked to have had the entire time off beginning from the time Allen had asked him for help, but Jin had other obligations. He was still a doctor, though, even if he didn’t have a practice.

This was the sort of thing for which he had become a doctor in the first place—to help people who were in desperate need of real treatment, not just to talk. Allen qualified; all the nanotreatment in the world could not keep him from wasting away, it could only delay it. Significantly delay it, but Jin knew that when Allen was ready to fully wake up, he would need help regaining his strength and his equilibrium. Judging by the way Allen had looked at him before he fell asleep, he might need help retraining himself to use his physical body. Jin would have to wait and see how much Allen would need in that regard.

He was glad to see his friend sleeping, though. Jin thought he probably would not tell Allen how close he had come to being declared dead. There was no need for him to know. Jin understood why it had almost happened, and in point of fact, it was the real reason Jin was there at all. The Vector doctors had thought Allen was in a coma, and used their usual treatments for such conditions. Comas were relatively easy to treat, as long as the source was understood. Even the most difficult neurological conditions, with a few exceptions, could be treated given enough time. They had done their best, but when they tried their last resort, an Encephalon dive, and found the procedure impossible because there was nowhere to go, they figured Allen was dead. A body that kept breathing but with quite literally nothing more making it a human was logically dead, was it not? Jin would have thought so originally; even his mother, in her most advanced state of illness, was still there.

Jin had heard about it and come as fast as he could. He did his best to explain what he knew must have been happening, in the most circumspect manner he could. He would have brought in the Kukai Foundation if he thought it was necessary to defend Allen as a Life Recycling variant, but fortunately he had not had to do so. What Allen had kept secret remained secret. It turned out that all he had to do was pay Vector off. It was a win-win for Vector; if Jin was right, they would get one of their best engineers back. If Jin was wrong, they would pocket as much money as Jin was willing to pay for the upkeep of a shell. He had given his word that Allen would have somewhere to come back to, so Jin was willing to pay them quite a lot, though he hoped he wouldn’t have to pay them for long.

He had ended up having to involve the Kukai Foundation, at least financially. Or, to be more precise, he had involved Captain Matthews, who borrowed from the Kukai Foundation. Even after having his debt cleared several months ago, he had still managed to get back in quite deeply, and Jin almost felt sorry for the poor man. He should have expected that chaos could be both discreet and frighteningly devious. chaos had somehow managed to start up quite a racket right under Matthews’ nose. The way money poured through his fists, he never gave it a second thought that there had been a sudden but subtle jump in price for every little thing.

And if Jin had managed to use his connections to siphon off money here and there from a certain couple who were not quite as anonymous as they thought? Well, Jin did not feel badly for them at all; it was from the Ridgeleys that most of the money came. Jin had put in as much of his own as he could to the pool without arousing suspicion, but the lion’s share came from people who had disowned the one whose life their money was saving, with a significant portion coming in from the Kukai Foundation via Matthews, who were the designated protectors of variants. Nothing came from Allen’s own estate; Jin and chaos had agreed early that they would not touch Allen’s money as long as they could find funds elsewhere.

If it all worked out as planned, the Ridgeleys would end up paying for everything, with chaos’ subtle machinations making Matthews’ debt decrease (or at least, increase with less speed) unnoticed, and Jin finding an anonymous donation to his business materializing from thin air. They just hadn’t had time to steal from the parents and give to the son as fast as they needed to.

Jin smiled down at Allen, thinking he probably would tell him about that—he suspected Allen would appreciate the irony at least. Watching him for the last several weeks had been difficult; Jin thought he understood why it had been so, but it was still hard for him to see exactly what the Vector doctors had thought they had seen, a shell with nothing inside. He supposed that they had not been able to connect to Allen’s subconscious domain because those formerly called Six of Night and Six of Twilight had fought them off. He could easily imagine it; it would only harm Allen to allow a connection before he was ready, and Night would do everything he could to make sure the connection failed, while Twilight would rebuff anything that got past Night. Jin hoped Night hadn’t managed to do anything more than short out a few computers. He didn’t have to like them to appreciate the necessity of their existence, and they needed rest, too.

He would tell Allen what his variation was; both chaos and he agreed that Allen deserved to know that much after everything it had cost him to get it under some semblance of subconscious control. The form of Allen they had spoken to in that little white box knew more than a great many people did about some very important things, but very little of that would carry over to his conscious self. His self-knowledge was going to be a casualty; he would still know, but not consciously. It could only help him to know what he was genetically engineered to do, at least the essential version with only the sketchiest information about the ‘ghosts’, and Jin thought it was almost a given that Allen would come to the same conclusions about it that he had once already.

It really was good to see Allen just sleeping, more or less peacefully.

The End

Author’s Note:

The title and the basic concept behind at least three of the Six and their actions were inspired by jinxhaas’ translation of the Xenosaga Original Design Materials entry on Allen, as was his book. Also, jinxhaas’ (I think) description of some of the differences between Xenosaga I and the Japanese only DS game Xenosaga I & II played a part in my imagining Allen’s history. I have, naturally, taken some liberties with all of it. Also, whether they are still held or not, some of Rinoa from Xenolegacy’s old Allen theories played a part in forming one of the Six (one of her observations about something Six of Dawn did was pretty well lifted whole-cloth, although I’m sure I used it differently). The other two Six are an extrapolation based on one being needed and one being a clearly expressed part of Allen throughout the Xenosaga. Well, all Six are, really, but I have to give credit to the people and places that made them stand out. For that they have my thanks. Venox from Xenolegacy also gets a thank you for helping me out with some crossbow research. (Whatever Allen is using in Episode III is really more a menace to him than it is to anyone he tries to shoot with it!) Thank you and a shower of Jin pictures for xenoplayer (also from Xenolegacy) for betaing and constant support, as well as long-lost conjoined twin sisterhood ;) chibi-sama love from XL gets a nice, none-evil Jr. plushie for support and distracting me at exactly the right moment as well.

Of course, thanks are also in order for Monolithsoft for making such a fantastically interesting game series and for Namco/Bandai for bringing them to these shores.

As for putting it all on Fifth Jerusalem...well...part of that started out as a misunderstanding by me, but the rest was logical convenience. Nothing I can find says what planet Bormeo is on, just that it was the first university built after leaving Lost Jerusalem (or the oldest, or both), and I don’t see any reason why it couldn’t be on Fifth Jerusalem, or why Vector couldn’t have a huge ground based operation there—perhaps the planet that became Fifth Jerusalem is one of the earliest colonized? It would make sense to eventually move the galactic capital to a planet that was heavily colonized already. So when the KP-X project gets transferred from Vector, just pretend it moved from one part of the planet to another, and that Fifth Jerusalem has a city in it named Fifth Jerusalem. No harm to the game in doing that, so far as I know.

Quick note: the Life Recycling Act was repealed in T.C. 4754, and Allen was born in T.C. 4743. I did do my homework on that one.

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