Solid Frodo: Hobbit Espionage Action

Chapter 4: Revolver Gauntlet

The Hobbits all stood, and carefully wandering out of the room, they went to the elevator and Pippin pressed the upside down triangle.

Shortly they arrived in another room, this one full of what seemed to be smaller rooms. There were no guards at all. They made their way around, looking at the doors. All of them had symbols on them, and only two of the doors would open, while a third was already open. One room had little cubes of slightly squishy material that was wired with some sort of device and each one had a small detachable button. Another room had round things that looked similar in function to the Chaff and Stun grenades. The open room had SOCOM clips.

Pippin poked at the squishy material. "I really think we should ask how to use this. It looks...creepy."

"Yes, I agree," Merry said, so they sat down in the open room and called up the Colonel.

"Yes?" Campbell answered.

"What’s this?" Pippin asked, holding up the squishy cube.

"That’s C-4. It’s a plastique explosive. To use it, attach the explosive to whatever it is you want to destroy, then press the detonator button."

"WHOA! Wait a moment! Wouldn’t that blow me up too?" Pippin exclaimed.

"One can only hope," the Colonel muttered under his breath. Aloud, he said, "No, FIRST you remove the detonator switch, that thing with the button on it, THEN you set the explosive, THEN you move far enough away that it doesn’t blow you to Hobbit-heaven."

"I heard that," Sam grumbled.

Colonel Campbell only twitched his lip. "Once you set it, you can detonate it any time you want by pressing the detonator switch."

"So we should be able to use this C-4 to get to the ArmsTech President?" Frodo asked.

"Yes, if the DARPA Chief’s information was correct. You should be able to find sections of wall that look different than the rest. Destroy them to find President Baker. Oh, and those round grenades you found? Those are frag grenades, and they can cause some serious damage, even kill." Then he signed off.

"Well, hmm. Let’s go look for those walls then...or should we have a bite of second lunch first?" Sam said.

"Lunch," both Pippin and Merry answered at once. Merry immediately began doling out portions of one of the rations he had stored. So they all ate lunch in peace, then went out to look for different colored walls.

It didn’t take them long to find one, and Pippin took a detonator off a C-4 and then squashed the cube into place. The Hobbits all ran to the other side of the area, not sure how big the explosion would be, then Pippin pressed the button. A deafening BOOM reverberated through the area, and the Hobbits all covered their ears. Then they sneaked back to the place where they blew the wall up, and discovered the new opening lead into a hallway of some sort.

Their radar went out, but it was very dark, so they felt relatively certain they wouldn’t be discovered. When the reached the end of the hall, there were two more cemented walls, and Pippin blew them both up.

Peeking inside one, they found a Big Person tied to a post in the middle of a spider web. The room he was in was very dark, so the Hobbits all pulled their cloaks tight and stepped inside with all Hobbit stealth. When they reached the Big Person, Frodo walked up to him, but before he could say anything, the Big Person said, "No! Don’t touch me!"

"What’s wrong?" Frodo asked. The other Hobbits, sensing danger, hid in the shadows. Frodo looked around and saw some of the squishy stuff attached to the wires—C-4. "Oh, that’s not good."

Suddenly a shot rang out, and Frodo jumped back. Someone, obviously a Big Person, came pacing closer, and Frodo could hear spurs on the person’s boots. He was talking as he stepped. "That’s right. Touch those wires and the C4 will blow up along with the old man! So you’re the one the boss keeps talking about." His voice was gravely and somehow extremely sinister.

"And you are?" Frodo asked, not being able to see the man clearly.

The Big Person paused. Then he continued pacing. "Special Operations FOX-HOUND. Revolver Ocelot." The man finally came into the light. "I’ve been waiting for...you...uh...." Ocelot paused for a long time, something that looked similar in function to Pippin’s SOCOM in one hand. "Wait...uh...who are you?"

Frodo shifted. "Frodo Baggins."

Revolver Ocelot frowned deeply. He appeared to be a man not at all appreciative of surprises...a man used to having all the answers. "You aren’t Solid Snake," he fumbled.

"No...no...everyone keeps saying that," Frodo said.

"Well, no matter," he said finally, feathers clearly very ruffled. "See this? This is the greatest handgun ever made. The Colt Single Action Army. Six bullets. More than enough to kill anything that moves. Now you’ll see why they call me...Revolver!" He made a huge show of loading the gun and flipping it around his finger several times, then pointed it at Frodo. "Draw!"

Quickly, Frodo unsheathed Sting. The Elven blade rang, glittering coldly in the dim light.

Revolver Ocelot let his aim slip a little. "A sword?!"

Frodo smiled nervously, then turned and ran while Ocelot recovered from the shock. "Get back here!" he shouted, running after Frodo.

Silently, the other three Hobbits fanned out, sticking so close to the shadows and moving so quietly that it was as if they were mere shadows themselves. It took all Sam had in him not to jump out and distract Ocelot from his beloved master.

Ocelot finally caught sight of Frodo and fired. Frodo cried out and stumbled, and Ocelot thought he had the little...whatever. He stalked over to where he lay, and cocked his gun for another shot, just to be sure.

Just then, Sam sprung out of the shadows and stabbed Ocelot in the arm. "Aggh!" he cried out, clutching his arm. Ocelot spun around and pointed his gun at the shadows, still sure of his aim even while his arm bled. But he couldn’t see anything there!

Suddenly Frodo stood up and slashed at Ocelot’s leg, then ran away to hide. "WHAT?!" Ocelot shouted, now clutching at his leg, surprised to see the little person vanished.

Really angry now, Ocelot stumbled around, looking for the little vermin. From the other side of the room, he caught sight of that white sword shining, and he aimed a shot that ricocheted off the wall and hit the owner of the sword. Again, he fell with cry of pain.

A little more wary this time, Ocelot prepared to fire another ricochet shot, but just as his finger hit the trigger, a sword so black it was nearly invisible struck him in the hip from the shadows and his aim went wide. "HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE?!" he screamed in fury, swinging his arm into the shadows, hitting nothing. If Merry hadn’t ducked, Ocelot might have clipped his hair.

He paused to calm himself. There was no sense ruining his aim by being frustrated. So he breathed deeply for a few moments, fully and completely not expecting to be shot in the back, hit by a SOCOM bullet.

"SO ONE OF YOU DOES HAVE A GUN!!" he roared, so angry he was seeing red. Now he was out for blood. Before, this was just a game. But no, these things were going down. He ran to where Frodo had been, but again, he had vanished.

Then, he felt the very sharp tip of a blade jab him quickly in the back. Ocelot spun around, and Frodo stood there, several feet away but an easy mark. Revolver Ocelot growled, a feral sound, and raised his gun to fire, aiming for where he expected the rat’s heart to be. He fired, and Frodo fell back, clutching his chest.

It was then that Ocelot realized that no blood had spurted from the wound...in fact, Frodo had no blood on him at all. The gunslinger only had seconds to contemplate this strange turn when suddenly he felt another bullet hit, this time in the chest. He caught sight of the creature in the muzzle flash...taller than Frodo, but of much the same sort. He saw the one with the SOCOM dash away, and he hissed.

"You are good," he spat, as Frodo began to stand, still holding his silver blade. "But I’m just getting warmed up," he bragged, as he took aim for Frodo again, this time at his head.

Then, for the umpteenth time in the short few minutes, something flashed out of the shadows...but this time it wasn’t one of the Hobbits! Whatever it was slashed at Ocelot and severed his gun hand. "ARGH!" He followed the flash of blade, growling, "Can’t you even die right?!", holding his maimed armed to his chest. He looked at Frodo, eyes glowing with hate. "You were lucky! We’ll meet again!" Then Ocelot fled.

The strange invisible creature that cut off Ocelot’s hand severed all the wires to the C-4, and the president slumped to the ground before all the C-4 detonated, causing all the hidden Hobbits to cover their ears. Then the mystery creature uncloaked and stood in front of Frodo. It was apparently a Big Person...but with strange, metal skin. Frodo felt a strange familiarity about it...but he couldn’t quite place it.

"Who are you?" Frodo asked.

"I’m...I’m...," the creature paused, uncertain what to say.

Pippin came out of the shadows and tiredly said, "We’re Hobbits." He knew the question was coming, although he was surprised Ocelot hadn’t asked, since everyone else had.

But the creature looked at Frodo with its one glowing eye, which fortunately did not at all resemble the Lidless Eye. "I’m like you...but not in the way I had expected...."

Frodo just watched him, trying to pin down what was so familiar about this metal man.

Then the president woke up, and groaned. He caught sight of the metal creature and exclaimed, "That exoskeleton!"

Suddenly, the metal man screamed in agony and flashed away with inhuman speed. It took only a few seconds for the Hobbits to get over their shock and to go over to the man they assumed was the ArmsTech president Kenneth Baker. They helped him up so he could stumble over to a wall and sit against it.

After a moment, the president got as comfortable as he could...it looked like one of his arms was broken. Then he looked over at the Hobbits. He blinked.

"Hobbits," Pippin answered sullenly.

"Uh, well...OK," Baker said. "The Pentagon must have...been...," he trailed off, not sure what to say.

"Well, I don’t know what that pentagon thing is, but the guy who sent use here to rescue you, Colonel Campbell, said he wanted someone else for the job," Merry explained.

"But he got stuck with us, and we’re stuck with him," Sam added.

"Oh, OK," Baker responded, a little flatly.

"The DARPA Chief told us that he gave the terrorists his detonation code. Do they have yours?" Frodo asked.

"Yes...I told them. After my psychic shielding stopped Psycho Mantis, Revolver Ocelot tortured me...he’s not human I tell you!"

The Hobbits flinched. They were uniformly disgusted by the idea of torture. But something wasn’t adding up. "You had a...shield, or something? So that Ringwraith couldn’t read your mind?" Pippin asked.

"Yes, everyone with codes like that does." Baker cleanly ignored the comment about Ringwraiths, which was just as well.

"But...the DARPA Chief said that Psycho Mantis read his mind for the code," Frodo said, voice full of suspicion.

"That’s not possible. The Chief had the same shielding I had."

Frodo looked over at the other Hobbits. "You don’t suppose he was lying to us?"

"You must have misunderstood him," Baker insisted.

"No, he was pretty clear on that." Sam replied.

"So," Baker continued, "is he OK? The DARPA Chief?"

The Hobbits all looked sad. "No, he’s dead."

Suddenly Baker got very angry. He started hitting Merry with his cane and shouted, "That’s not what you promised Jim! Now you came to shut me up too!"

"Hey hey hey!" Merry cried, trying to dodge the cane, "My name’s Meriadoc, not Jim!"

Pippin pulled Merry out of range of Baker’s cane, and the other Hobbits backed up as well. "We didn’t kill him," Sam explained. "He went and died of a heartytack."

Baker calmed down, but his voice was suddenly cold. "Well, I guess they wouldn’t tell you guys, would they."

"Tell us what?" Frodo asked.

"Doesn’t matter. Anyway, if they have both codes, they wouldn’t hesitate to launch."

The Hobbits all sat around the president, wondering. "Why would they do that? Aren’t those ‘nukes’ dangerous?" Merry asked.

"I don’t know why. Anyway, here’s what you were sent for, right?" The president pulled a flat square with a shiny rainbow colored disc inside out of his pocket. He handed it to Frodo, who shrugged and took it, not having a clue what the thing was. "That has all the test data on the new Metal Gear. That’s ArmsTech’s new walking tank project. Anyway, that’s the only copy there is of the data. Metal Gear should be formally adopted as soon as the Pentagon gets those results you came for."

"Um...this...Metal Gear...it has the ‘nuke’?" Pippin asked.

"Yes. If the terrorists have the codes, you’ll need to get the three card keys I gave to that woman prisoner. That’s the only way to stop Metal Gear from launching. Also, Dr. Hal Emmerich, the man who designed Metal Gear...he knows how to destroy it. You should get in contact with both of them."

"Who was that woman, anyway?" Frodo asked.

"Her name is Meryl Silverburg, I believe. She’s disguised as a terrorist. Colonel Campbell has more information on her I’m sure. Here’s her Codec frequency." The president told them the new number, and Sam checked quickly, and Meryl’s name was now on the Codec menu. "Here’s a level 2 key card. Use it to get to Dr. Emmerich."

"So...um...how are we going to rescue you, anyway?" Sam inquired, seeing that the Big Person looked a little under the weather. Then he scratched his head. "How were we supposed to rescue the DARPA Chief either?"

Frodo looked at Sam. "That’s a good question. This is getting really suspicious."

Baker laughed, then coughed heavily. "You Hobbits aren’t as stupid as the usual grunts they send in for these sort of things."

The Hobbits weren’t certain if that worked out as a nice thing to say or not, so they didn’t respond. Then Merry asked, "You looked like you knew that metal Big Person. Did you?"

"Oh, him. FOX-HOUND’s dark little secret. You should ask Dr. Naomi Hunter about him."

"That she-demon? I’d rather have tea with a Balrog," Pippin muttered.

"Balrog?" Baker asked hesitantly.

"Yeah...they’re just about the scariest things in the whole world. Not the scariest," he shuddered, remembering the picture of Sauron’s dark face in the Palantír, "but really nasty. They’re huge...and black, all black, like the darkest night, but they’re all aflame! And they have horns, and big shadowy wings, and flaming swords and whips made out of fire!" He started getting too into the description, and began stomping around and roaring like the Balrog of Moria had.

"Pippin! Stop it! You’re scaring me!" Sam complained. "You shouldn’t talk like that about such things!"

Pippin did stop, but not because Sam asked. Suddenly, President Baker was clutching at his chest and gasping. The older man managed to get out, "Those...bastards! They went and did it! They’re just using you for...!" Then with a strangled cry, Kenneth Baker expired.

No one dared say a word for a long time. Pippin looked like he’d been wounded to the core, horrified that maybe the Big Person had seen a Balrog once and his talking about it had given him a heart attack. He sat down heavily, eyes wide.

Slowly, Merry ventured, "Pippin...I don’t think this is your fault."

Pippin said nothing, however, still very upset and blaming himself. Tears began to stand out in his eyes.

"Merry’s right, Pippin," Frodo said. "The DARPA Chief died the same way, and no one was talking about Balrogs then."

"Maybe...," Pippin managed in a husky voice.

Sam started fishing around in Merry’s pockets until he found a ration. Merry squirmed around and made noises the whole time, wishing Sam had just asked for the blasted thing. Then Sam handed it to Pippin. "Here, eat something. I’d give you a handkerchief too if that Naomi devil hadn’t taken all mine."

Pippin slowly took the ration and opened it, then munched on a slice. "Thanks," he sniffed softly. The other Hobbits decided it was high time for rounding out second lunch anyway, so they also dug in.

Merry offered Pippin his pipe too. Pippin was grateful for all his friends trying to make him feel better for accidentally killing that poor Big Person.

So after they ate and Pippin had smoked a little, the decided it was a good time to contact the Colonel. They walked out of the room, because it was jamming their signal, then went and hid in one of the two rooms that had opened for them earlier.

Then they sat down and called up the Colonel. "He’s dead too!" Sam exclaimed loudly as soon as the Colonel’s vision came up.

"Who, the President?" the Colonel asked, not quite as incredulously as he should have sounded.

"Yes! It was just like the DARPA Chief," Frodo explained.

"And Pippin didn’t scare him to death either," Merry added.

Naomi came on the line and said, "It looks like it was a heart attack, though I can’t explain why."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Your nanymachines ain’t any better than ninnyhammers if they can’t figure out something better than that. I don’t know that much about Big People, but I know they don’t go and have heartytacks all in a row like that."

Naomi’s eyes shifted. "Maybe it was some sort of poisoning."

"But how did they get poisoned?" Frodo asked, extremely suspicious now. He remembered what Baker had said about the pentagon, whatever that was, just using them.

"I don’t know!" Naomi huffed, and they heard her stomp her heel.

Frodo just looked at her for a long time, certain now that she knew something that she wasn’t telling them. But he decided to leave that alone for a while and asked instead about the metal Big Person. "We saw someone here, a person all in metal with a sword. The ArmsTech President said you would know about him, Dr. Hunter."

"Uh...nope. Don’t know him, nope, not one of ours. Nope, nope."

Frodo exchanged a glance with Sam, who made a motion with his hands indicating his estimation of Naomi’s level of sanity.

Dr. Hunter’s eyes narrowed. "I saw that."

"Well, I wasn’t hidin’ nothin’ from you," Sam grumbled.

She made a little uppity "hmmph!" noise and then the Colonel came back online.

"We heard that we should contact a Meryl Silverburg," Frodo said to the Colonel. "The President said you would know her."

"My niece! Yes, of course I know her. She was captured in the terrorist action. Yes, call her. You can trust her more than you can me."

The Hobbits all looked at each other. "Are you saying there’s reason not to trust you?" Merry asked, eyes narrowed.

"Uh...," Campbell stammered.

"Well, this is just a fine how do you do," Pippin complained, crossing his arms.

Frodo sighed. "You already know he’s lied to us about Elf magic and all that...I’d be willing to bet that even if we do finish this whole thing up we won’t get any closer to Mount Doom."

"That wasn’t really a lie," the Colonel protested. "I don’t know where Mount Doom is, but you were stuck here, for whatever reason, so I figure you’ll go back to wherever you came from once you finish this mission."

"Ugh," Merry grunted, seeing there was some logic behind that.

"The President talked about card keys to stop the ‘nuke’ launch," Frodo informed the Colonel. "He said Meryl has them. He also said that there was a Dr. Hal Emmerich that knew how to stop this Metal Gear thing."

"Really, you should contact Meryl. She should be able to help you find the card keys and Dr. Emmerich." Then he signed off, and the Hobbits were left to think for a moment.

Sam scratched his head. "There’s something going on here, and I for one don’t like it one bit. Wish I knew what it was."

"Yeah," said Pippin. "They all feel a lot like Saruman somehow. Slippery as fish, saying this and meaning that."

"We’re stuck anyway," Frodo said glumly. "Stuck on an island about as cold as Caradhras and just as friendly."

"Now don’t go getting depressed, sir," Sam replied. "It won’t do anybody no good."

Frodo shrugged and then smiled a little. "The Ring isn’t heavy at all here. There is that."

"So it’s not all bad. Maybe that Ringwraith wasn’t a Ringwraith if the Ring is behaving. Now let’s call Meryl so we can get out of this mess," Merry suggested.

"All right," Frodo conceded. So they contacted Meryl.

Go on to Chapter 5