Hungry

A Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic AU fanfic by Princess Artemis

Thanar gurgles happily. Mommy plays with him, touching his nose, making Thanar giggle. He was just little, baby brother. Me, I’m three. I think I’m three.

I was three. "Mommy, I’m hungry. I want a snack."

Mommy smiles and rubs her nose on Thanar’s, and he giggles more. "Dinner will be ready in a little bit, no snacks for now."

Oh. But I’m hungry. "Mommy, almost done?" I have a toy space fighter. I run around the room, making zooming noises. I like my toy. Daddy gave it to me for my birthday. I’ll be four soon; maybe I’ll get another spaceship. I want lots of spaceships. I like it when Daddy takes me flying.

I’ll be four soon? I guess so, four comes after three? Or does five come after three? "Daddy, one two three four five?"

Daddy smiles. "Yeah, one, two, three, four, five." He ruffles my hair. Sometimes I hear Daddy say I’m too smart for my own good. See, I’m smart. I like flying, I’m going to fly, whenever Daddy flies our speeder I want to go with him. Sometimes he lets me drive.

I run over to Mommy. "Done yet? I’m hungry."

Mommy walks to the table and sets Thanar down in a special chair. "Yes, it should be done now. You must be getting ready to grow, you’re always hungry."

"Food!" I run over to the table, dropping my spaceship toy. We’re eating outside tonight, it’s warm. I said I wanted to eat outside tonight and Mommy said yes. "This is my plate." I pick up a plate and put it in front of me. "This is Mommy’s plate and this is Daddy’s plate and this is Thanar’s plate." Thanar has a special plate so it doesn’t spill his food. "And this is Mommy’s spoon and this is Daddy’s spoon and this is Thanar’s spoon and this is my spoon." Thanar has a special spoon, too, but he doesn’t use it much.

Daddy smiles when I give him his plate. "Thank you, Carth," he says.

"You’re welcome Daddy!"

Mommy serves something; I don’t know what it is. I want to get some of it myself, but Mommy tells me no.

I’m hungry, I’m eating, but I’m still hungry. I finish my plate. I’m still hungry. I’m more hungry than before. "Mommy, I’m still hungry."

"Mommy?" Mommy isn’t moving. Mommy fell asleep in her food. So did Daddy. So did Thanar. "Mommy?"

I’m still hungry. Mommy won’t mind, she’s asleep, so I climb over to her chair and eat her food.

I’m still hungry. I’m hungry. I eat Daddy’s food. Daddy’s still asleep. I push Daddy. "Wake up Daddy, it’s time for dinner." Daddy doesn’t wake up. "Daddy, wake up."

Daddy still won’t wake up. I’m very hungry, I’m so hungry. I eat Thanar’s food, even though he slobbered in it.

Still hungry. So hungry. Hungry hungry hungry. I’m three...aren’t I three? I’m three, right? I’m so hungry. It hurts, it hurts, I have to eat, it hurts, there’s nothing to eat, I’m three, right? Mommy Daddy Thanar are just asleep, right? It hurts Mommy, I’m hungry Mommy, why didn’t you make real food? Why did you fall asleep?

I’m three, right? Thanar is asleep. He’s really asleep; he’s not breathing. Ow, Mommy, it hurts, I’m hungry, Mommy, make it stop, I’m only three I’m only three I’m eating Thanar’s arm I’m eating Thanar’s hands and I’m still hungry.

Mommy, why are you asleep? Thanar’s hands look funny, they’re red and squishy and white. It smells really good, but it doesn’t taste good. But I’m still hungry. I’m three, right? Thanar’s arm doesn’t taste good, but I’m hungry. He’s really asleep. Thanar’s arm is crunchy. I think something hurt my mouth...I’m still hungry.

I’m three. I think. I think... I think I’m three. Almost four. Daddy will give me a new spaceship toy. Daddy’s hair doesn’t taste good. I thought it might be, it smelled good, but Daddy’s hair doesn’t taste good.

I’m hungry, Mommy, Daddy, I’m so hungry. It hurts I’m so hungry. My fingers smell good. Maybe that will help. It doesn’t hurt as much when I bite my fingers, not as much as my tummy hurts. I’m really hungry. It doesn’t hurt when I eat my fingers. My fingers are just like Thanar’s, they’re red and white and sticky and squishy. Red gets all over. My hand doesn’t taste good either. I’m still hungry.

I’m still hungry. Hungry, I’m so hungry. Why can’t I have a snack Mommy? I’m still hungry.

I...I’m...I’m three, aren’t....I think...I can’t think. They’re gone. Mommy and Daddy and Thanar and my spaceships are gone. I’m three, right? I’m hungry, aren’t I? I don’t remember. I’m floating. I think.

"It’s time for sleep, my child."

I’m hungry, Sri. Aren’t I three? I’m not three, am I? I’m not four, either. Sri, feed me. I’m hungry Sri.

Sri gives me candy. A little bit. Sri, it’s not enough. I’m starving Sri. I can’t think and I can’t think and I’m starving Sri. A little candy won’t help. I don’t want candy, I don’t want to sleep, I want to eat. I don’t remember what sleep is. They weren’t asleep, were they? I’m not three, am I?

Why don’t you answer, Sri?

I’m falling again.

I’m outside, playing with my spaceship. In the back yard. We’re going to have dinner out here, Mommy said we could, I asked her.

Mommy is playing with Thanar. I can’t wait until Thanar is old enough to play with me. All he does now is drool on my toys if I try to play with him.

Hungry...maybe I can get a snack. "Mommy, can I have a snack?"

"Not now, dinner is almost ready."

But I’m hungry now. "Almost?"

"Almost."

I drop my spaceship on the ground and put out the plates. One for Mommy, one for Daddy, one for Thanar, and one for me. Maybe that will make the food be done faster. I’m really really hungry.

"Almost?"

Daddy sits down in the chair next to me. "You must be growing, being so hungry all the time."

I nod. "I’m almost four!" I think I’m almost four. I’m three. I am three, right?

Daddy smiles and messes up my hair. "I know, you’re getting to be a big boy."

"Can I have a spaceship for my birthday?" Hungry Daddy...why isn’t dinner done yet?

Daddy smiles a different kind of smile. "We’ll see."

I get up and get my spaceship. We have grass. I’ve seen some animals eat grass. Maybe I can eat grass? I’m so hungry, it hurts, grass might be good.

I grabbed a bunch and eat it, but it’s gross.

"Carth, what are you doing?" Mommy asks. I think she’s mad.

"I’m hungry, Mommy." I am, too. I’m really hungry.

"You couldn’t wait for a few more minutes?" Mommy is brushing grass off my hands. She put Thanar in his special chair.

I feel bad, I upset Mommy. But I’m so hungry! "No, Mommy, I’m very hungry."

"Well, you’re just going to have to wait a bit longer. Dinner’s almost ready and you can’t eat grass."

But it hurts Mommy! It hurts! Mommy is holding my hand and taking me in the house. Oh, she’s getting dinner out! Yay! Now I won’t be hungry, Mommy makes good dinners.

She carries the food to the table and lets me go so I can get in my chair. Daddy looks at me funny. "Why is your mouth green, Carth?"

Uh oh, Daddy’s gonna get mad now, too.

Mommy says, "He was eating grass."

"Grass? Why?"

I’m hungry Daddy, I keep telling everyone! "I’m hungry. Don’t be mad, I’m really hungry." Maybe he thinks only babies eat grass. Thanar does sometimes. But I’m not a baby, I’m three.

"Don’t eat grass, grass is for nerfs, not little boys. We aren’t starving you, so you can learn to wait."

Daddy sounds mad. He said they aren’t starving me, but it feels like it. It hurts, I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt.

Didn’t always hurt so much...

Daddy puts some dinner on my plate and I eat it all, as fast as I can. I’m hungry, I’m really hungry...but it’s not helping! I’m hungrier now! It hurts! I look over at Daddy, he was about to say something, but now he’s asleep. I think he’s asleep. He is asleep, right? I’m three, right?

Why’s he asleep? Mommy and Thanar are asleep, too.

"Daddy?" I get up and push on him, trying to wake him up. Something’s wrong. I don’t know what. Mmm, but if Daddy is asleep, he won’t mind if I eat his food...

I ate Daddy’s food and Mommy’s food and Thanar’s food and all the rest of the food but I’m still hungry, it hurts worse now, it’s worse, it hurts and there’s nothing left to eat.

I guess there was something left, I’m eating Thanar’s arm. I ate it and it tasted bad and it looks red and white and squishy and Mommy’s hands do to, they smelled good and I’m so hungry. It hurts, it hurts so bad and I ate Thanar’s leg and Daddy’s arm and more grass and I tried to eat the plates but I couldn’t and nothing helped, it still hurts and I’m scared. It hurts worser and worser and now there’s nothing left of Thanar except white stuff and none of it tasted good but I couldn’t help myself it hurts and I’m hungry!

I eated my hands, too. Smelled good, not so good, still hungry...

Thanar starts crying. Oh no, now I’m in trouble! Mommy and Daddy will get mad, Thanar’s crying and screaming and being loud and shaking his little tiny all white skinny skinny hands and red is all over the place.

Mommy wakes up and glares at me, oh, she’s very mad, I did something wrong, I’m in trouble. "Sorry I ate your food Mommy, I was really hungry!"

Mommy picks up my baby brother, all shiny white and red and see through. "Shhh, Thanar." But Thanar doesn’t shhh.

"What did you do, Carth?" Mommy yells. "What did you do?"

"I’m sorry!" I’m crying and hiccuping. "I’m sorry, I’m hungry, I didn’t mean to eat everyone’s food, but it hurts, Mommy!"

"I mean to THANAR!"

"What did you do to Thanar?" Daddy woke up, too. I don’t remember, he’s missing part of his face. That’s not right...why’s he look like that? Why’s Thanar see through...?

"I don’t know! Mommy, Daddy, I’m so hungry! See, my hands are see through too." I show them, I eated my hands too. It didn’t help. I still hurt. Everything is red.

Everything’s not supposed to be red...

Mommy picked up a knife. "Maybe we’re hungry, too." Thanar’s still screaming. I’m screaming too, I’m covering my ears, trying not to hurt, trying not to eat more of my arm, that made them mad, but I couldn’t help it.

"Don’t hurt me Mommy." I’m crying and crying and scared and I know it’s not right, they never woke up, no one woke up and I’m not three, I know they never woke up.

Maybe if Mommy and Daddy and Thanar eat me, I won’t hurt anymore?

Mommy is gone. No more knife, not going to hurt me, no more red everywhere. I’m still hungry, though. Floating somewhere? This happens a lot, maybe I fell asleep.

Someone is humming, and giving me little candies. It’s Sri I think.

"Sri, why am I so hungry, why do you only give me little candies? Why is Mommy mad at me, I eated my hands too. Did I do something wrong?"

Sri just hums. Sri doesn’t answer. "I’m hungry Sri! I’m starving! No one will feed me real food! I can’t stand it Sri! I can’t stand it!"

He’s still humming; he’s not listening. They weren’t supposed to wake up, were they? I’m not three, am I? They weren’t really sleeping, were they?

I’m not floating anymore. I’m sitting in the grass with my spaceship.

Mommy is playing with Thanar, and he’s giggling.

I’m three. I’m almost four.

I’m hungry.

* * *

Of the Jedi escorts provided to the Ebon Hawk, one was not quite as the others. There were Jedi aboard, yes, and they were providing escort, but that was not their primary mission.

The Jedi aboard this one small ship were there to fulfill the will of the Force, to act on a vision given them decades ago.

"Master Vandar has just confirmed it," Alio said as he turned to look at the two other Jedi accompanying him.

Maria Calla nodded, sighed. "I had hoped it would not come to this."

"I’m certain we had all hoped the same, Knight Calla," Master Sri responded. Sri was human, as were the two knights, but he was old, old beyond the natural human span. Neither Alio nor Maria knew how old he was, but rumor had it he was at least two hundred standard. Sri stood and walked out of the cockpit.

"Many will die today," Alio said, leaning back in the pilot’s seat. "Revan has a knack for it."

"Revan isn’t going to kill them today, though," Maria replied. "We will. Their blood will be on our heads."

Alio shook his head. "We won’t kill anyone. We’re here because the Force wills it, and it wouldn’t be necessary if Revan hadn’t kept falling. It’s ultimately her fault. Do you suppose she will allow the Republic ships to escape? And after that, will she be content to sit on the Star Forge and play Pazaak? The Force is going to save millions of lives in exchange for thousands...which wouldn’t need to die at all if she had just stayed true to the Light."

Maria sighed again. "Alio, I think it makes a difference. But let us not argue, we have little enough time left as it is."

Master Sri entered a small room aboard the ship. His child slept there. ‘His child’ Sri called him, but it was nothing more than a nickname bestowed on a nameless man handed over to his care for more than three decades. A secret, a tool, nothing more, but Sri had never been able to stomach such treatment for a fellow human even though he allowed it. The Force willed it, this he did not doubt, but he always felt bad for his child. He had a destiny that would have felt like a gale wind if the Jedi had allowed its expression. He understood why they could not, however. It was, Sri thought, a lousy destiny.

Careful not to touch his child’s skin, he gently shook him by the shoulder. Perhaps this was a bad idea...a terrible one, in fact, but Sri could not help wishing he had at least met his child once before destiny consumed them. Assuming there was anyone to meet.

His child stirred, turned toward Sri, opening his eyes. It would be incorrect to say Sri’s child looked at him; he looked at nothing. The heavy neural disrupter collar he wore prevented it, prevented coherent thought; this particular collar also suppressed natural Force talent. His child had never had a chance to learn the ways of the Force.

The collar was a necessary evil, or so went the opinion of the Council. The destiny that bore down so heavily on Sri’s child made it necessary.

Sri closed his eyes, and carefully shaped a strong Force suppression field around his child. When he was certain it was intact and powerful enough, Sri reached over and unlatched the disrupter collar.

His child gasped and curled in on himself, covering his face with his hands. This didn’t startle Sri; he had thought it likely that his child would react in some way to the collar’s removal.

"Sri...I’m hungry..." The words were tentative, hoarse, and they did startle Sri.

"I, well. I can get you something, if you want," Sri answered, tamping down his surprise as best he could.

"You will? But, wait, you can hear me? Why now, why now can you hear me? You never said you would get me anything before, you never gave me anything but little candies before. I always tell you I’m hungry, all the time. I’m always hungry."

After a moment, Sri closed his mouth. It had taken him a second to realize it was open in the first place. "My child, I always take care to feed you. I’ve never left you hungry."

His child, this man he had never met, dropped his hands from his face and pierced him to the soul with a look of abject betrayal and accusation of the sort only a child can master. "I’m hungry Sri. You never ever ever gave me food."

Confused, Sri set about retrieving something for his child to eat. "I’m sorry it seemed that way, my child." Then he asked a question he had always been sorry that it had gone without a proper answer. "Do you know your name, my child?"

"’Course I do, my name is Carth. I’m not a baby, I’m three. My Daddy is going to give me a spaceship for my birthday." Carth sniffed at his adult arm and then took a bite out of it as if that were the most normal thing in the world. Sri had no chance to stop him, and wasn’t sure if he could have regardless. Touching his skin might kill Sri now.

If Carth felt any pain, he didn’t react to it. He did, however, screw up his face into a perfect, undistilled expression of disgust. "Yeuck! Still smelled good, but ew, tasted lots worse than before!" Blood trailed down his chin and his arm bled freely.

Sri stood there, gobsmacked. Jedi training did not prepare one for all eventualities, and though he was a Master, nothing could have prepared him to see a thirty eight year old man, not five minutes out of a disrupter collar that should have addled his mind to the point of non-existence, declare that he was three with no small pride, bite a sizable chunk out of his own arm, suggest it was something he had done many times before, and then calmly, albeit with great disgust, comment on the taste.

"Still hungry. It hurts, Sri."

Gathering his scattered wits, Sri asked, "Your arm?" He couldn’t Force heal it; he couldn’t expose his child to active Force just yet.

Carth started crying. "No, I’m hungry, I’m so hungry it hurts."

The reality of the situation struck Sri like a physical blow. His child had been fully cognizant inside despite the effects of the neural disrupter. And somehow he knew what ‘food’ he truly lacked even if he couldn’t name it. For thirty-five years, Carth had felt that lack as unsatisfied, gut-wrenching hunger.

"All gods and Force, we have done you great evil," Sri whispered.

But that was only the beginning.

Carth shifted back, a sudden, skittish movement. His eyes, so long empty of anything, were now fearful. "Mommy, no, stay away...I had to, I was hungry, Mommy, I was so hungry! Don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me!" He held his hands up in a warding gesture, but there was no one there.

His voice was both a child’s and a man’s, an unnerving combination of child talk and adult sound. Sri stood back a step, careful to maintain the Force suppression field.

"No, wait, see?" Carth cried, then started devouring his hands. The speed at which he stripped flesh off his own body shocked and disgusted Sri. It was insane. His child could not possibly feel it. Sri had trouble seeing it. His child’s actions were so irrational. Bits of tendon caught in his teeth, blood spattered everywhere, and the rapidity at which Carth gnawed his hands to bone left bits of skin on the plain robe he wore.

He shook his bloody hands at specters, calling out to them through mouthfuls of gore. "See? See? It wasn’t just you, I eated me, too, see? I’m so hungry, and it doesn’t help, I so sorry I ate your hair Daddy, I didn’t mean to eat Thanar, but I had to I had to, I was so so so hungry! There wasn’t nothing else to eat! Please go back to sleep, please!"

Sri still couldn’t see it. It was madness. Madness he had to stop, even though he knew now that it wouldn’t stop, not in Carth’s mind, not deep inside where the collar couldn’t reach. With a serpent’s speed and a surgeon’s accuracy, Sri snapped the disrupter collar back around his child’s neck. Almost immediately, the fear drained from Carth’s face...everything did. His ruined hands fell to his lap. He was a mindless doll again.

At least, on the surface.

Sri let out a shuddering sigh, and removed the field. Trying not to shed his own tears, for there was no emotion, there was peace, Sri carefully tore strips of cloth from his own volumous robes and bound Carth’s hands with them. He dared not Force heal them; Sri did not touch his child unless absolutely necessary because his child always somehow sapped some of his own Force from him. To actively use the Force on Carth would be to invite disaster.

It was good that Sri had been trained in more mundane ways of healing. If they had thought to bring kolto, he would have used it, but they had not. This was supposed to be a short trip, one for which it didn’t matter if someone got a bit banged up. They were all Jedi; they could heal themselves if they stubbed a toe.

"Of course, no one expects such things as this," Sri muttered to himself as he continued to wrap Carth’s hands. When he finished, there was so much cloth on them that very little blood seeped through.

There was nothing he could do about his robes, but Sri could clean his child’s face, and he did as best as he was able. "I am sorry my child, we had no idea. We knew it was questionable to keep you as you are, but I swear, if I had any idea of what lay in your heart, I would have found a way to stop it. Visions and destiny be damned."

Sri helped his child lay down again. "Be at peace, if you can, my child. For good or for ill, it won’t be much longer."

The Jedi left the room, unnoticed.

"We’re nearly there," Alio announced.

"There is no death, there is the Force," Maria said, meditating in the co-pilot’s seat.

Sri walked in, hands shaking. Calm simply would not come for him right now.

Alio noticed. "What is wrong, Master?"

"A great deal, a great deal. My child...my poor child, he has gone mad inside himself."

"How is that possible? Hasn’t he been...restrained...for most of his life?"

"Say it the way it is, Alio. We have kept him in such a strong neural disrupter for so long that it should have damaged his mind just shy of brain death. Just shy I say because the brain dead cannot use the Force...and well, we needed that, didn’t we. He still had to do that."

Alio turned a concerned eye on Sri. "Master, you are becoming quite angry."

Sri straightened himself up, tried to calm himself down. "Indeed, indeed. I find it difficult to restrain myself. When he was given into my care, I was told that my child was wild, uncivilized, and most importantly, untrainable. I don’t know if that was true or not, but it doesn’t matter now. It seems that despite our technology, he remembers some things from before he accidentally killed nearly a hundred people. It seems he remembers killing his family, but naturally, he doesn’t quite understand that is what happened. He may know in some way...but whether or not he knows, he remembers it and it has driven him insane."

"How do you know?" Maria asked this, coming out of her meditation.

"I did something foolish. It isn’t important." Sri rubbed his wrinkled forehead. "It isn’t important. It’s far too late to do anything about it now." He found a seat and sighed. "It doesn’t even matter. When we get to the Star Forge, he will still do what your visions say he must. I suppose, however, it’s nice to know that he’ll likely enjoy it."

"You think he’ll enjoy killing thousands?" Maria asked, disturbed.

Sri shook his head. "No, I don’t think he’ll have any idea. No idea at all. It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get where we need to go and end this."

* * *

I’m floating, or falling, I don’t know. It feels weird. Everything’s weird now. Sri answered me. That’s weird. It’s different. I don’t know, it’s different.

I think I’m not three anymore. I think Daddy’s not going to give me presents ever again.

I think Mommy and Daddy and Thanar didn’t go to sleep.

But I don’t know. I thought I did, but I don’t think I do.

It’s not all different. I’m still hungry. Sri said he would give me something if I wanted it. I think he will.

I’m confused Mommy...

Now I know I’m falling. Ow, I landed on my face. It didn’t hurt much though, so I’m OK. Sri is standing next to me...he looks a lot more solider than most the time. Oh, a spaceship! A real one, a big one! Maybe I can look at it! I’m going to go look at it!

"Yeeeaaaggh!" Oooo, Mommy Daddy, that hurt, that hurt almost as much as my tummy hurts. All I did was try to get up. I never had trouble doing that before!

"Just stay still, my child." Sri sat down next to me. He looks sad. He never looked sad before, I don’t think.

"I want to look at the spaceship."

Sri’s nodding. "I know, but it’s not time for that now. Are your parents here?"

I look around to see, but I don’t see them. I just see walls, scary looking walls, all black and dark and scary. There are two strangers, but I don’t talk to strangers. It’s not good to talk to strangers. "Nu uh, no Mommy and Daddy."

"That’s good, I don’t want you scared. I want you to be happy."

I’m frowning. "They didn’t fall asleep, did they."

Sri shrugs. "They may have, in a way. I want you to be happy, I don’t want you hurt anymore."

"But I’m hungry."

"I know. I’m going to fix that. It will be quite easy, once you know what you are doing. Hold out your hands, my child."

Sri is being very confusing. What do my hands have to do with food? Every time I eat them, it doesn’t make me less hungry. I show him my hands, though. Wait, that doesn’t make sense! Why are they all made of cloth now? I can’t eat cloth.

Sri is being very careful. He puts one of his regular hands on one of my cloth hands. There’s a little glow, and my hand stops hurting. I didn’t know even it was hurting, but I guess it was if it stopped.

Then I tasted something. It’s like candy, like the little candies Sri always gave me but it tastes so much better and there’s so much of it and I’m really really hungry so I eated it all up and it felt good! It felt good! I’m still hungry but it doesn’t hurt as much!

Sri looks like he needs a nap now. "Sri, is it nap time?"

He smiles. He looks sad still. "Almost." He takes off the cloth on my cloth hand, only one, the other hand is still made of cloth. My hand looks regular now, not squishy and sticky and red.

"We’re really going through with this?" That was one of the strangers. She sounds unhappy, too.

"We’ll stop the war." That was the other stranger. He sounds like my Daddy does when I get in trouble and I can’t get out of it.

Sri put out his hand and wiggles it at the strangers. "It doesn’t matter now. Right now, my child, my dear Carth, is hungry. He has been for far too long. Let’s have breakfast together, shall we?"

The girl stranger made a funny noise, like when Mommy is frustrated. "That’s a...disturbing way of putting it, Master Sri."

"That may be, but it is what it is no matter what we call it. Today it is breakfast, and the fast has been long."

"You’re confusing me."

"I’m sorry, my child. Give me your hand again."

I hold out my regular hand, and Sri holds it. He’s giving me something, that something like candy again, but not like candy. It’s so yummy, and I’m so hungry. I never had candy for breakfast before. I eat it all, all the something like candy, and then I find more, and I eat that, too. There’s lots of it, and I’m starving. I eated more, and I’m getting less hungry. Sri must be really tired, he’s sleeping now. So are the strangers. There’s still lots of the something like candy, and I eat that, too. Some of it tastes really bad, lots of it is really yucky, but I’m too hungry, I ate it anyways. My hands were yucky too.

There’s more, farther away, but I can reach it. I eat that, too, and then I eat another bunch of the candy stuff. It tastes good again. I’m happy, my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore, but I’m still a little bit hungry. Lemme see if I can find more candy stuff...

I look for it, but it’s really weird. I thought to eat something you had to chew it up and swallow it, but I guess not. Maybe that’s why I was so hungry...except for Sri’s little candies, everything I ate before was stuff I put in my mouth. That’s not real food. I wonder why Mommy always made chewy stuff to eat, if it wasn’t real?

Mmmm, but now I’m full. I’m smiling and happy, Sri gave me something to eat. I’m not going to think about it anymore. I’m not hungry anymore.

I’m tired and I’m full...I think I’ll go to sleep. Now I’m sleepy instead of hungry.

Sleeping, slipping away...not three...not asleep...but it’s all right. I think it’s OK to sleep now, with Sri, Thanar, Mommy, and Daddy.

"Goodnight Mommy, Daddy, Thanar, Sri. I see you in the morning." It’s nice, not hurting...sleeping...sleeping...

The End

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