Final Pokémon Solid: Endless Waltz Special DVD Edition

Final Pokémon Solid: Endless Waltz Special DVD Edition – The Outtakes

By Axer

Scene 2

She started a countdown, then got impatient and slammed her paw down onto a giant red button on the console. The Shin-Ra no. 28 began to lift off of the ground. The Agents inside the rocket began pressing against the windows, tears streaming down their faces like waterfalls. Pika Chu-Chu and the rest of the Pokémon were certain that horrible screams could be heard within the rocket, given the horrified expressions on the Agents’ faces.

The Pokémon giggled mischievously.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 3: Take 1

“As you’re aware, it’s only been a few months since RockeT CanyoN was truly completed,” the first Mothman said, continuing a conversation that you, the readers, will not be privy to the beginnings of. “We’ve mounted several advertising campaigns to try and get people to live here, but so far, none have been all that successful.”

“I’m not really sure why not, though,” another of the Mothmen frowned. “See, here’s one of our latest ideas.” He held up a sign portraying a collection of models in swimsuits with each Agent’s heads superimposed at the wrong angels to replace the originals. The ratio to men and women models to the ratio of men and women Agents were uneven, so some of the male Agents’ heads were placed on women bodies. The slogan across the top read – ‘Neo RockeT CanyoN: Now with 300% More Sexy Agents!’ A tag line at the bottom said ‘Ninjas need not apply.’

“Uh,” Princess Artemis frowned. She took a quick sip of her tea and folded her hands. “It looks like you probably need some new writers, for one thing… and a change-up on the artwork would probably help as well. This is the sort of thing that would probably just frighten people.”

Scene 3: Take 5

“I’m not really sure why not, though,” another of the Mothmen frowned. “See, here’s one of our latest ideas.” He held up a sign portraying Kuja - in a swimsuit. Draped across a beach chair in a horribly grotesque pose, trying to look as sexy as possible but failed to do so. The slogan across the top read – ‘Neo RockeT CanyoN: Now with almost naked Kuja!’ A tag line at the bottom said ‘Ninjas need not apply.’

“Uh,” Princess Artemis frowned as she screwed her eyes shut. She blindly took a quick sip of her tea but the cup exploded in her hands due to the horrendous picture.

Scene 3: Take 27

“I’m not really sure why not, though,” another of the Mothmen frowned. “See, here’s one of our latest ideas.” He held up a sign portraying a seaman with one eye, a bloody rapier, and a parrot. The sailor stood over a pile of corpses and a treasure chest. The slogan across the top read – ‘Neo RockeT CanyoN: Now with 300% More Pirates!’ A tag line at the bottom said ‘Ninjas need not apply.’

“Uh,” Princess Artemis frowned. She took a quick sip of her tea and folded her hands. “I’m sorry, but after all these takes, I really have to use the bathroom.”

Everyone sweatdropped.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 4

The threat removed, Ekans returned to his civilian outfit and checked the pockets of his assailants. He came up with a torn-out page from an issue of Moth Next Door and a wallet. The wallet was stuffed with an unusually large amount of paperback gil, and had a single business card in it. Shrugging his shoulders to himself, he went and got more quarters to play more DDR.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 5: Take 1

A young man sat busily at a computer terminal in a cyber-café. The good coffee and calming atmosphere of the room were ideal to his preferences, but the high speed internet access was what he was here for. It was not only extremely quick, but it was quite anonymous, which made it ideal for hacking into a secured database. The database was, admittedly, probably not very secure at all, but it was better to do it this way rather than take any chances. A timer began counting down on a lock. The user leaned back and stretched his arms, yawning. To his amazement, he bumped the top of his head on a female form that was standing directly behind him. He whirled around and. . .continued to whirl around in his chair.

“Whee!!!!” exclaimed the Captain with glee as he raised his arms while continuing to spin.

Scene 5: Take 2

Benit laughed. “Hah. Your secret is safe with me, Captain. Anyway, yes, I’m heading back to my homeworld, but I had to make a stop here and thought I’d use the opportunity to send off some packages. Here, happy holidays.” The minter waved a finger next to the Captain’s ear, but concentrated too much energy and accidentally froze his entire ear solid. The young female blinked blankly for a few moments before backing away, scratching the back of her head while chuckling nervously.

“Um. . .” the Captain said in a wary voice, “How come I can’t feel my ear. . . ?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 6: Take 1

“Brothers!” Almasy Marquis announced to the army, with the assistance of the microphone system, “We thank you for your patience in bearing the unbearable and tolerating the intolerable for all this time, but finally, the operation shall begin. The future that you build will begin with the tearing down of the decrepit and corrupted institutions of the past! From this day forward, I am – er, that is – you are all starting on the road to glory!

“Now with that said,” Almasy continued, “Let’s. . .PARTY!!!”

The army threw confetti in the air as strobe lights began to flash and a disco ball suddenly appeared from the ceiling. Brandishing a cane that materialized out of nowhere, Almasy began to kick his legs in the air. “Do the can-can-can! Do the can-can-can!!!”

Scene 6: Take 2

The camera panned across the army and settled on a young gentleman in the third row. Almasy paused, running his vision across the room. “But FIRST --” The young man cringed, realizing he’d been spotted. The other soldiers were nervously glancing at the monitor, wondering why this soldier was being singled out. Almasy continued: “… we must eliminate the enemy from within!” In a flash, he pulled a USB front his belt, loaded it, and aimed it at the soldier. “BrandonTCA, proceed to the front!

“Because YOU’RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!!”

The Price is Right fan-fare began to play as BrandonTCA slapped his hands to his cheeks; an expression of shock and bewilderment was strewn across his face. He ran down an open aisle as he quickly dashed towards the stage.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 8

Princess Artemis awoke with a start. She sat up and was immediately woozy, and half fell off the side of the bed. The woman caught herself just in time before she completely hit the floor as she began to giggle at the silliness of the situation. Almasy smiled as he helped her up to the bed to retake the scene again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 9

“I want one,” CAM frowned.

“Well, you’re out in space, in your ship,” Axer shrugged helplessly.

“Email me a Twinkie.”

“Fine, sure,” Axer said, sighing. He opened up a disk drive and shoved one a large twinkie into the drive. “There. Now, uh, what the?!?”

The computer screen began to fill up with red text:

YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS YOU SHALL BE AS GODS

And so on.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 11

The door to his office creaked open, and a shadowy figure stepped in.

“Hmm? Can I help you?” Tonamel said, looking up.

“Excuse me,” the figure said, “I’ve come to ask for a custom title.” He stepped into the light.

Tonamel’s eyes widened. “Why, you’re . . . “

“Well, no, I don’t want a custom title. I actually want some money for this large pepperoni pizza that you ordered,” asked the pizza carrier as he placed the food on the table, “That’ll be 100 gil and 55 meseta please.”

“Eheheh,” laughed Tonamel nervously as he dug into his pocket for money, “Right. . .”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 12

The craft holding the two Agents turned sharply. Axer leapt out of a side hatch, sword at the ready. Phantom Ghost lifted off as soon as his friend was clear. He dropped off the thrusters, sending another giant obscuring cloud into the air, and then shot off into the distance. The Captain’s craft spiraled down into its place and parked on a dime. As Agent the Captain hauled himself out of his craft and picked up the coin.

“Aaah! I’m 10 cents richer now!” he smiled and puffed out his chest.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 13

“I care,” Gray Fox said coldly, sheathing his weapons. “There is no point in fighting someone simply for the sake of creating conflict. Battle must have a groove of its own, or it as meaningless as base slaughter.” He turned away. “I’m here to find the one that’ll fight me and show me what’s right in this world. If you find a reason to fight – your own personal ‘funk,’ you could say -- then you can challenge me.”

The two men paused. They then sniffed their own armpits. “Uh, are you talking about that kind of ‘funk’?” asked Agent the Captain, “I mean, we did work ourselves up to a sweat with all that battling and such.”

“Well, actually. . .” hummed Gray Fox to himself, “No.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 18: Take 1

“Honestly,” Artemis sighed, “They always want to do it the hard way.” A simple wave of a hand sent an Ether wall colliding with her attackers. The guards were knocked over as if a shoopuff had trampled over them. The Princess turned and began to exit when she heard a thumping from a nearby room.

She pressed her ear against the door and heard a familiar squeaky voice. Artemis waved a hand at the lock. It clicked; she opened the door and stepped inside to find Mog inside.

“Kupo!”

Scene 18: Take 2

She pressed her ear against the door and heard a familiar squeaky voice. Artemis waved a hand at the lock. It clicked; she opened the door and stepped inside to find a Moomba inside. It sulked towards her and mewed as it began rubbing against her leg. The woman smiled and patted the beast’s mane lightly.

Scene 18: Take 3

She pressed her ear against the door and heard a familiar squeaky voice. Artemis waved a hand at the lock. It clicked; she opened the door and stepped inside to find Choco/Mog inside, dashing towards her wildly. The female Agent quickly turned around and began to run away from the rampaging summon, screaming for help.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 24: Take 1

“Cait said they were planning to drop the CanyoN onto the planet, but that seems a bit much to me,” Artemis said, “If they’re trying to conquer Rocket Town, why would they use a threat that would destroy their own forces at the same time?” She moved over to another computer, sat down, and logged in. Axer did likewise.

“Regardless of whatever non-logic is going on, I figured letting a giant landmass drop onto the Planet would be a categorical Bad Thing, even if it is a canyon of silly refs,” Solid Ekans continued. “It’s a good thing you guys showed up, though, I can’t seem to get through this part.”

“Two heads are better than one,” Artemis nodded, typing away.

“Ooooh, I know how to get past this part!” Axer shouted as the trio began to play Radical Dreamers together on their computers.

Scene 24: Take 2

“Two heads are better than one,” Artemis nodded, typing away.

“What about me.. ?!” Axer protested.

Artemis gave a wry smile. “Okay, two heads are better than one.” She giggled under her breath.

“That’s more like it!” Axer nodded contentedly and went back to work but then stopped in mid typing. “Heeeey, wait a minute. . .”

Scene 24: Take 3

“Two heads are better than one,” Artemis nodded, typing away.

You have now entered the FPS chat room.
You are logged in as Princess Artemis.
Users in this room: Axer, BrandonTCA

Axer: Hello! =D
BrandonTCA: Hiho!
Princess Artemis: Hi everybody. =)
BrandonTCA has logged out.
MelodyTCA has logged in.
Axer: Hey! A new girl person!
Axer: A/S/L?
MelodyTCA: Tee hee. Fresh. ^_^
Princess Artemis: *eyeshift*

Scene 24: Take 4

Agent Axer then opened up Kazaa and began to download the song entitled “Agent Neener – Techno Remix”.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 25

“You stopped the CanyoN from dropping?” Tonamel said over the communicator, “That’s great . . . but we’re overrun with Koopa Troopas at the moment, so we can’t really do any thing right now.”

“Can’t you, uh,” Axer frowned, scratching his head, “ . . . jump on their shells, or something?”

“Hey! That’s a good idea!” said Phantom Ghost as he leaped high into the air.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” screamed Tonamel, his voice and actions were afflicted with the slow-motion effect.

The Agent hopped on a Koopa Troopa as a domino, ricocheting affect occurred. Everyone in Rocket Town screamed in abject horror as they began to run away from the stampeding shells that bounced everywhere. Agent Phantom Ghost blinked in surprise and then chuckled nervously with a giant sweatdrop appearing on his forehead. Tonamel gave his fellow compatriot a shifty eye glance.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 26: Take 1

“Let’s see… I haven’t used the ol’ Reference Adder Materia in a while …” Princess Artemis popped the jewel into a linked slot with a red summon orb. She waved her hand over them, activating it, and turned into Princess Toadstool. “Ta daaa.”

“Uh. . .” stammered Axer and Solid Ekans.

Scene 26: Take 2

“Uh. . .” stammered Axer and Solid Ekans.

Metal Slime draws near!

Scene 26: Take 3

Silence.

A bestial rage overwhelmed Princess Artemis in her new state and couldn’t control her actions. The dragon roared loudly as it stomped around and spat out billowing flames at the other two Agents who screamed and ran around the room in circles with their arms flailing in panic.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 28

Several miles away, the entry arc of the Shinra no. 28 could be seen as it cruised down out of orbit. A giant-sized version of the standard escape capsules extended from the side, beeped, and shot off towards the surface of the Planet. The thrusters on Artemis’s shuttle flared and sent her roaring towards the capsule.

And accidentally smashed into it.

“Eheh,” laughed the Agent nervously, “Oops.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 30

“THIS is what a story entitled ‘Final Pokémon Solid: Endless Waltz’ should be,” Brandon grinned. “Lots of giant robots. And Agents. Yes. Also, the victory. With explosions. Woo.”

“YES,” CAM nodded. Each mobile suit took a giant snowboard with their personalized brand logo engraved on each one. All three mobile suits shot off through the sky, plummeting and spiraling towards Rocket Town ala Sonic Adventure 2 style with the snowboards under their Gears’ feet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 31

“Two of Shera’s finest, on the rocks,” Tonamel said, tapping the counter in the Shanghai Inn. The room was empty, save for himself and Phantom, who sat at the bar, and the bartender, and another young man at the far end of the row of stools, who was just getting done with a long nap.

“Oh, hey, guys,” Gray Fox said, stretching. Tonamel and Phantom boggled at him. “I thought I heard some kind of loud noise. What’s going on?”

The Agents covered their eyes and they both wailed in agony. “AUGH, YOU FORGOT TO PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!!!”

“Hmm?” Gray Fox looked at himself and realized he was only in his birthday suit. “Why, fiddle-dee-doo! Oopsies!” ^_^;

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 32

“Our suits!” Phantom Ghost shouted. He, Gray Fox, and Tonamel were racing through the cluttered battlefield towards their allies. El Kaiser drew its beamsaber and began carving a path through the dozens of Metal Gear Kai units. Kouhi took to the skies and began frying the enemy suits one by one with its laser attack. CAM brought his suit down to a rest next to Alexander and began dispatching the oncoming attackers.

“Thought you guys would never get here!” Dr. Mayhem chortled. @#$*! spun its giant-sized Venus Gospel, but lost its grip and flew out of the Gear’s hands.

Somebody screamed in the distance.

“Oh. . .” replied Dr. Mayhem nervously as he sweatdropped, “My bad!”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 34: Take 1

“Heh, it looks like we’ve got some reinforcements of our own!” Phantom Ghost grinned. With an anime leap, he pounced into his carrier and activated PokéArms. Emerging from the capsule, the trainer took advantage of the Pokémon swarm’s general state of dazedness to capture practically every single one of them. Spinning in place and leaping in a huge arc, PokéArms came down right in front of the cloud of tiny villains and was about to spray PokéBalls everywhere with its double gatling arm.

He stopped in place, however, and then darted his head to the left. Then, his line of vision slowly went to the right. Nobody was around him.

Cackling with glee, Agent Phantom Ghost ran away with all the stolen Pokémon.

Scene 34: Take 2

“The kick-punch style remains very much secure!” cut in Artemis’s voice. El Kusotare smashed into the ground from the skies above, and El Fenrir was there to follow it up with a closing heel smash to the chin. The giant double dragon wings on the TwinkiEVA pumped, but the Solarian Omnigear pinned it to the ground with a firm stance and delivered a smashing axe chop to her rival.

All the male agents winced and groaned in agony. Princess Artemis blinked. “What? What?! What’s wro-“ And then she looked at the area where she hit the Gear – right below the lower abdomen region; it was a painful sight to behold for the males to bare.

“Hee hee. . .sorry.” She sweatdropped.

Scene 34: Take 3

“I can be evil in my own way,” sniffled Evil Kusotare, “See, watch. Hey, Solid Ekans, have you seen the last episode of Cowboy Bebop?”

Solid Ekans frowned. “Well, no, not yet, but I was planning on i-”

Evil Kusotare cut in. “Well, I ATE IT.”

Ekans’s eyes grew wide. “WHAT YOU SAY?”

“YES,” added Evil Kusotare, “IT WAS VERILY MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!”

Scene 34: Take 4

“I don’t see how any of us can get to the Town while we’re fighting Liquidus, either,” Tonamel added, “Scanners indicate he’s got a plethora of detection devices of his own on that beast. He can see in practically every direction at once, including some 5-dimensional stuff I really don’t want to think about right now.”

I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can’t deny

The Agents were perplexed as giant question mark bubbles appeared above the Gear’s heads.

When a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist
And a round thing in your face you get-

Liquidus Ekans gave a nervous chuckle as he immediately stopped the cassette deck inside his Omnigear. “Heh heh heh. . .Sorry guys, wrong tape.”

Scene 34: Take 5

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, hit pause,” the Captain said, marching onto the scene and looking irritable. “What the #*$@&! is this $(#@2#@&!?!? Some sort of self-sacrificial gesture thing where you wind up giving you damn life to save the day? That makes you look like the hero all over again, you spoony bard.”

“Heh, whoops,” Almasy said. He intended to hit the pause button on the side panel of the Zephyr’s control model, but accidentally pressed fast-forward instead. “AW CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!!”

RockeT CanyoN collided with Rocket Town in a hazy blur. The explosion was short-lived and destructive.

Scene 34: Take 6

“Uh, and, um, you know, I did all kinds of bad stuff,” Almasy gulped, changing the subject quickly. “I mean, there is the weird relationship thing that I did just try to take over Rocket Town, and stuff.”

“Right! Almasy, you go to jail!” Axer commanded.

“Gotcha,” Almasy nodded, “ . . . am I in jail now?’

“Yes, just pretend you are. Right there.”

“DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT 200 GIL!” screamed Tonamel, who cracked his knuckles. “That’s usually lesson enough around these parts.”

Almasy was given a Monopoly™ jail card as Gray Fox placed the game board on the ground. “Now, you, JAIL!” Gray Fox barked as he jerked a finger from Almasy then to the little square on the board.

Almasy drooped his head in shame as his giant boots clomped onto the board.

Scene 34: Take 7

“Right! Almasy, you go to jail!” Axer commanded, “No, wait, actually, you go to CHAIR BENEATH THE SPOT LIGHT!”

“DO NOT PASS GO! DO NOT COLLECT 200 GIL!” screamed Tonamel, who brought in the Xenogears chair. “That’s usually lesson enough around these parts.”

“Now, you, SIT!” Gray Fox barked as he jerked a finger from Almasy then to the chair with a spotlight shining down upon it.

Almasy drooped his head in shame as he plopped down on the wooden chair beneath the spotlight.

Scene 34: Take 8
(Also the Alternate Ending that never made the final cut)

You can dance
You can jive
Having the time of your life

The Agents were perplexed as even giant question mark bubbles appeared above the Gear’s heads accompanied with large exclamation marks.

See that girl
Watch that scene
Dig in the dancing queen

Liquidus Ekans gave a nervous chuckle as he was about to stop the 8-track deck inside his Omnigear. “Heh heh heh. . .Sorry guys, wrong tape.”

“No, wait,” interjected Axer, “I like this song.”

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for a place to go
Where they play the right music
Getting in the swing
You come to look for a king

“I have this strange urge. . .” began Dr. Mayhem as his gear began to move at strange angles, “. . .to dance. . .”

“Me too!” said Tonamel as his Gear’s arms began to move, “Can’t. . .stop. . .doing. . .THE MONKEY!”

Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music's high

“PARTY!!!” exclaimed Gray Fox as all the other gears began to dance. Even the gigantic titan that was Alexander danced too, causing tremors that the Agent’s Gears were unaffected to. Much fun and jubilation was felt by everybody, including the villainous villain.

With a bit of rock music
Everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance

“Man! I’m having so much fun dancing! Does this mean. . .that I can stop my villainous acts of villainy and live in LOVE AND PEACE?” exclaimed Liquidus Ekans as his presence from Almasy vanished with a dramatic ‘vwoosh!’ sound.

Then all the Gears surrounded the Zephyr Gundam in a circle and began to clap and applaud loudly.

“Congratulations!” exclaimed Princess Artemis

“Congratulations!” Agent Benit said with a smile.

“Congratulations!” added the Captain.

“Kupo!”

Etcetera.

“You guys. . .” Almasy began to say with damp eyes, “Thank you!”

A man clad in disco clothes with the words ‘Disco Stu’ engraved on his jacket adjusted his cool shades. “Heros and villains making amends is a beautiful sight for Disco Stu!” He did a dramatic disco pose, ala Lucky Dan.

“Peace is a trend that will never go outta style!” Cait Sith added.

. . .

THE END

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Scene 35
(The Alternate Epilogue that never made the final cut)

5000 years later

Through the rocky crevasses, feet pitter-pattered. Beneath the azure skies, a trio of tiny turtles trotted behind a Koopa Troopa. Surprisingly fast for reptiles with shells on their backs, they bounded up a makeshift set of rock steps onto an outcropping.

Far beneath the cliff could be seen Rocket Town, surrounded by foliage mounds, with smoke puffing steadily out from the kitchen stacks.

The Koopa Troopas gave a soft set of chirping noises. Then, suddenly, a giant Yoshi swooped down from the heavens and gobbled up the Koopa Troopas without mercy. Afterwards, a flock of Mothgeese flew past.

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