Final Pokémon Solid 3

Part 3

I hope the Cid and his attitude returning makes sense--I had to edit it a bit, switch things around...since in the add-on it actually happened twice. -- Princess Artemis

"Well, well, well..." Dr. Mayhem cackled as he stared at the two captives standing before him. Shera Stargazer and Agent the Captain looked around at the surrounding members of AVK and the many deathrays pointed in their direction. The kitchen at Cid's house was full of Mutant Killer Attack Moogles and the AVKers', the living room - was full of cats. And while this standoff took place, Cid Highwind lightly dusted around the kitchen in his frilly, pink apron.

Soon after Agent the Captain had mysteriously appeared in the kitchen, AVK removed Shera from the living room catpile and stood them both in front of this grisly firing squad.

"Looks like this is the end, Mr. 'the Captain'," Doctor Mayhem chuckled, "There's no escape for you now." The evil scientist looked over the the happy, frilly Cid and motioned to his moogles. The angry little beasts shoved the soft-hearted pilot into the other two captives standing in front of the deathrays. "Now," Mayhem tapped his chin in thought, mimicked by Mini-Cactaur, "What should we do with them?"

"*Maybe we should let them go!*" answered a faint, high-pitched voice from the crowd of moogles. The AVK and bad moogles turned and looked around for the source, and they soon found it - a small, furry black cat wearing a crown and a badly made moogle costume.

"Cait? I was wondering where you were!" bubbled Cid in a happy tone. The poorly-disguised member of Team Rocket Town was tossed to the others.

"Now," Dr. Mayhem roared, "You will DIE!" The mad scientist snapped his fingers and signalled the moogles to leave the house. He then turned to Professor Flint and EVIL Agent NC81, "Set the deathrays on a timer, we're leaving them here tied up in the kitchen. Mwah hah hah!!!"

"But," Flint scratched his head, "Why don't we just shoot them now and then leave?" Agent NC81 stepped back, away from the Professor.

"You DARE question me??!!" Mayhem roared. Flint emphatically shook his head 'no'. "Good. Now make it so."

Outside Cid's house, the Army of Deranged Mutant Killer Attack Moogles were growing restless. Now was the time for chaos! The horde of tiny beasts ran into the Shanghai Inn and started harrasing the customers, spilling drinks and changing the bar TV to the weather channel. Patrons and employees alike became less and less happy. That's when the fighting began!

Professor Flint exited Cid's house in Rocket Town feeling a bit angry. Dr. Mayhem’s blind assumption that his timed death rays would finish off Agent the Captain was optimistic at best. After all, Good had this annoying habit of finding some way to thwart Evil at every chance they were given. And the fact that Evil tended to be stupid at every turn only gave Good more chances. Well no more....

Flint grined wickedly to himself as he pulled a small vial from his lab coat and beckoned a single Deranged Killer Attack Moogle to come to him.

"Now drink up little fella," Flint said, pouring the contents of the vial into the white furballs mouth.

The transformation began almost instantly....

The Moogle let out a painful scream as it began to grow to immense proportions. Its skin spit in various places leaving the flesh exposed. Long sharp teeth grew from its mouth and ugly purple tentacles grew from its arm.

Professor Flint grinned at his creation.

"Now he will hunt down the first person or people that I tell him..."

Flint stood on tiptoes and said a word to the mishappen lump of moogle flesh.

The Super-Mutated Deranged Moogle growled and slobbered one word.

"Agents...."

Professor Flint handed the Super-Mutated Deranged Moogle a giant rocket launcher and was promptly swatted away by his creation. Flint landed in a heap across the Rocket Town Square and curled into a little ball.

Flint giggled maniacally to himself and watched his Nemisis-Moogle begin to tear through Rocket Town, growling the word "Agents" over and over.

After the three ex-members of the disciplinary committee dragged the semi-concious Solid Soggy Ekans from the ocean, the powers that be decreed that since he was just about the only character in the story that hadn't had a dream sequence yet, that it must be time for him to.

The image of Mustadio faded to reveal a female figure, eyes sparking with an evil intent. She took up the zodiac stone from the dimensional travel machine and fired a beam from it, striking up against an anti-IDF barrier.
A vision of a black fork and a white spoon appeared, and the two drifted away from one another.

The anti-IDF field began to project a mirror image of a man who looked much like Solid Ekans, along with two other figures.

The twisted Daravon-like figure placed the Gunge Lance behind his back, and he drew out the Organics sword. He spun the weapon about, much like a fallen General of Gestahl's empire before crying out, "Woosley spoony name change...shock!"

A vision of a red table knife now flies and clashes against the spoon, scratching it a few times, but eventually, the red knife is absorbed into a much larger spoon. The black fork appears again and sails out of sight. Then something like a cross between Metal Gear Rex and Xenogears fires a beam down into a huge floating structure, which is consumed in a series of explosions as it falls into the sea.

Now a figure who looks like a combination of Perfect Cell and Forte or Bass from the late Megaman Games appears. An endless array of ki attack-like blasts stream from his arm cannon, and the view is enshrouded by the smoke and explosions from the blast. The viewer struggles to look up as the figure smirks before blasting off into the sky.

Now the mirror images of the man who looks like Solid Ekans and his two allies appear. They speak of how the powers of the ones from 'STA' are incomplete since they exist, but that neither of their purposes can be accomplished while both exist. The man who resembles Ekans then proclaims that he has half of the true rune of tlansrating, and that their side shall be victroious.

A battle ensues between six fighters. A white aura flares before the dreamer's sight. With a blue flare around his entire forearm, he strikes his double, and the duplicate explodes into a storm of gray sparks, which swril about before being drawn in towards the white flare.

Now the fork appears next to the spoon, and a shadowy power eminates from it, but it remains hidden behind the other piece of silverware, the white spoon.

Now we see Ekans' view, wandering in the 64th dimension. He leaves the arena of NES pro wrestling and enters the hall where he encounters the bright spoon rune.

Now the white spoon in the vision is sparked to life and it begins to glow, but the fork behind it, while it looked activated, remained hidden.

Then a voice spoke out, "The powers of the two halves of the 'Spork of translatings' are with you, but the darkened half has yet to be awakened. This power can help restore peace to your world...well...at least until the sequel...but if the awakening of the dark half cannot be controled, it may ally itself with the red table knife."

"What's with all this silverware talk? Who is this?"

"The red knife represents evil powers from outside which force their way into the realm of translating. The power to cut out and censor away what should be. You must not let the power of the black fork rune ally with this force."

When Ekans came to, the sky above him was sliced at by the spiraling golden fight systems of Balamb garden.

Benit rubbed her head from being shaken awake and asked Q, "So, did I miss anything?"

"Ummm....not much except crazed killer Moogles are loose in Rocket Town and a mutated Moogle is after Agents specifically," she answered.

Benit mused and said, "Hmm, that's not bad..." She absorbed the info, then shouted, "Wait! That's BAD!"

"Looks like a good time to use some Pokémon. Maybe even get a Moogle Pokémon," Phantom said as everyone ran outside. Indeed, outside was chaos. Little pink, chubby Moogles had gone insane and had destroyed the town. In addition, indeed, a large Moogle that resembled Jenova tore the place apart, even the Shinra 27 rocket.

"Oh man, if Cid had his attitude, then he'd whoop that Moogle to the NEXT DIMENSION," Axer moaned.

Benit's eyes sparkled and she grabbed him by the shoulders, saying, "Axer! You're a genius!"

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"...no. If we defeat the little Moogles first and transfer Cid's attitude back to him, then we'd have a chance against...uh...Moogleova...whatever that is," Benit answered.

With that, the four Agents dispersed around town.

Q ran around to where the bored couple and the Materia owner lived. The couple were found by the Moogles not bored at all, given they had private time. The house was now fallen to the ground. Q stood in front of the killer Moogles triumphantly and said, "You wanna destroy our town? You'll have to get through me first!"

The Moogles yelled "Kupo!" barbarically and charged at Q. Their little knives were aimed at her, but she had better flexibility than that and more experience with daggers, since she whipped out Dragon's Teeth and started slashing at the Moogles, cute as they were. They were falling one by one.

Unbeknownst to Q, one Moogle had a pail in his hands and snuck up behind her. He poured it over her head (he stood on a stool), and an oddly familliar purple liquid splashed onto her hair. Q tensed her muscles as she glared at the liquid to discover the shade of purple was...

Egyptian Plum.

"OOOOooooooohhhhhhhh!!!!!! NOBODY DYES MY HAIR EGYPTIAN PLUM AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!!!" Q yelled loudly and a red aura flared around her. The remaining Moogles backed off, but it was futile.

"Vulcan Eye Poke!"

Q jumped around crazily and started to poke Moogles one by one with her two fingers into their eyes until they were blinded and unconscious. When the last Moogles in the area were gone, she stood still breathing heavily.

"Now, to see about a shower...."

Agent Axer took Fox's Den, where it was littered to the ground by now. He stepped inside and saw several innocent townspeople huddled to a corner as some Moogles attempted to threaten them. Deciding not to take a front, he lunged at them with Twin Viper, his katanas, unsheathed. He sliced, diced, and liquefied several of them until the rest realized that something was happening.

I wish this authour knew good refs. Oh well, you can't get everything, Axer thought as he taunted them by saying, "Come and get me!"

He lead the Moogles outside and they all piled onto each other, as if they were becoming bigger...they literally looked like pink mitochondria. Nothing could stop Axer, however, since good guys always won, theoretically. He took out a Pokéball and called forth Gold Chocobo.

The Chocobo stood there warking happily. Axer mounted it and told it to run in circles. He eyes almost fell out of his sockets as it charged forward with enough speed to fuel two Shinra rockets and some. The Pink Mitochondria couldn't keep track of the Chocobo and keep itself together, since the speed was creating a tornado. The mitochondria flew off the creature into different parts of the world until there was nothing left to fly loose. Axer stopped the Chocobo about halfway into the earth and had to regain his vision.

Trainer Phantom Ghost juggled his Pokéballs as he went around to where the gun owner lived, since he heard "Kupo!"s coming from that direction. He was right: the Moogles were cornering the gun owner with his own guns. Phantom just stood there until his silhouette distracted the Moogles' attention towards him.

"Yuffiesaurus Rex! Aerodactyl! Gengar! Go!" he called forth his Pokémon.

"Like, roar, and stuff."

"Aero!"

"Gengar!"

"Gengar, Hypnosis! Aerodactyl, Wind Attack! Yuffiesaurus Rex, Eat!" Phantom called out. Gengar made swirly eyes and hypnotized the Moogles, while Aerodactyl blew some down to their demise. Y-Rex was having a feast of her lifetime since FPS2.

After about five minutes, Phantom realized that they were getting tired or full and called them back. He had five Moogles left, no weapons, tired Pokémon. Only one thing was left in his arsenal. A red Limit Flare™ flashed brilliantly around him.

"Chandelier Drop!"

A diamond chandelier appeared from nowhere and dropped straight down for the Moogles. It impacted them, immolbilizing them. He happily rubbed his hands together.

Last but not least, Agent Benit made her way to where Cid's house and the rocket was. Oddly, she heard nothing in Cid's house: the commotion was coming near the rocket. She stepped around and surely found some Moogles pulling apart the rocket's engine.

"Ah ah ah! You don't know how much of my money that cost." Benit tsked. The Moogles turned around and yelled, "Agent! Destroy kupo!" Benit expected this, and she was ready. She readyed her glaive, Saturn Rhapsody, and charged at the Moogles. Cute as they were, she decapitated some (her favourite move) and impaled others. Several little knives came gashing her legs and she yelped in pain.

"Stainless Steel!" Benit's skin became metal, and the knives were having no effect on her. She jumped out of the way...and twitched.

"Oh no! Not again!" she complained as the twitching came uncontrollably. The Moogles came for her, swearing and yelling "Kupo!", but she was too dazed to notice, and her skin was temporarily metal. Finally, Benit's brown irises disappeared suddenly, then reappeared again as she saw the Moogles frozen in time. Rocket Town's time was unaffected.

Benit gasped heavily, then saw little pink energies cascading into one, many sources coming from different parts of town and her area. Finally, it was just one white orb.

So this must be Cid's attitude, Benit thought as she handled the orb with care: obviously, it was glass. Pretty soon, the other Agents came running up to her. All of them looked worn out.

"So, I guess it's time to make a special delivery to Mr. Highwind," Axer said. Then he added, "By the way, Benit. Nice skin." She blushed, then retorted, "Shut up. It'll go away."

The Balamb Garden hovered over Solid Ekans. A rope ladder dropped down and Solid Ekans climbed up the rope ladder to join ROCKSLIDE in the cockpit.

"I didn't think you guys would hijack this," Solid Ekans remarked, "So, where are you guys headed?"

"We're going to get the first Anima twinkie," Agent CAM replied, "And finally get our Gears." CAM drew the Plot Contrivance from his Magic Bag of Plot Devices, and throw it to the ground. The entire party was teleported to the Island Closest to Hell.

"Where do you think the Anima Dungeon 1 is?" Celes asked.

"Pika pi!" Bob exclaimed pointing a cave.

"You’re right Bob," Solid Ekans replied, "It’s probably in that suspicious looking cave."

"Well then less hurry up sucka!" Mr.T exclaimed. ROCKSLIDE and Solid Ekans hurried over to the cave. Suddenly three people surrounded by white ki auras landed: "Freiza", Zarbon holding a large can of Foster's Beer, and the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man himself.

"G'day mate," the dub Zarbon greeted and took a drink of his beer," Have you seen any CROCIDILES on this island, mate?"

"That accent is painful to the ears," Agent Gray Fox remarked.

"Of course, no where near as painful as Frieza's," Agent CAM added.

"Ultima!" Celes cast causing the trio to scatter.

Alys and D jumped into the air. "Moonglow!" The Eight Stroke Sword Hunter exclaimed and released the stored moonlight in her moonslasher in a brilliant flash of light blinding Dodorio and Zarbon. The vampeel slashed Dodorio with his sword, cracking his battle jacket, and knocked him to the ground. The bloated pink man fell to the ground unconcsious. Agent1469 skillfully shot Zarbon out of the sky with a well placed shotgun blast, and Mr.T knocked him out with a single punch.

"I pity the foo' that ruin Dragon Ball Z!" Mr. T pited.

"Freiza won't be so easy to deal with," Agent Gray Fox stated, "Even if he is from the dub, I don't think any of us are powerful enough to defeat him."

"I could stall him," Agent CAM stated and pulled a PaRappa and Dragon Ball Z reference out of his Magic Bag of Plot Devices. He fused the two references together. "PaRappa Reference Z!" Light surrounded CAM and when it cleared a man with a onion head resembling CAM's wearing a Dragon Ball Z gi. "Leaving it KAAAAMMMMYYY!" Chop-Chop Muten KAMME exclaimed. "I've lost my dojo, but its all in the mind. I still got my casino. Dojo. Casino. Its all in the mind."

"What are you babbling about?" 'Freiza' asked in its female smoking too much voice.

"Hai, hai, Freezer-san. You think that your a strong chap. Then try this rap!" Chop-Chop Muten KAMME took his battle stance and charge. "Kick." KAMME kicked "Freiza" up into the air. "Punch." KAMME jumped up and punched. "Its all in the mind." Chop-Chop Muten KAMME charged up and fired some Ki at "Freiza", but the spawn of the dub easily blocked it. "Freiza" took to the air and punched at KAMME.

"U rappin' awful," Chop-Chop Muten KAMME blocked the punch with one hand and threw "Freiza" to the ground. "KAMMY-LAMMY-KABLAMMY!" Chop-Chop Muten KAMME fired a huge ki blast that stunned "Freiza". ROCKSLIDE, and Solid Ekans entered the cave with KAMME behind them walking backwards in order to guard their backside. They had to hurry; the references would wear off in thirty minutes.

Ash's Pokéball created a huge crater on the face of the FF8 Planet. Ash clicked his PokéDex. "Hmm the -Pokémaniac- is here, and so is Brock and Misty. I thought I killed them....damn plot contrivances." Then Ash flipped the switch on a device located on his arm.

"Ash!" Gary exclaimed,"I've come to kill you!"

"Oh really," Ash replied,"You sound so sure."

"Have you checked your PokéDex recently," Gary stated,"I have much more Pokémon than you do."

"Ha!" Ash laughed and then turned off the device on his arm,"I found an interesting new toy. Now check your PokéDex."

"What!? 200!?" Gary exclaimed,"There aren't even that many Pokémon!"

"I've been going around to many different worlds capturing new Pokémon and training them."

"Onyx! Go!" Gary tossed a Pokéball.

"Son Pikachu! I choose you!"

"Ha, Pikachu could never defeat a rock type!" Gary boasted, "Onyx, Dig!"

"Onyx!" the beast exclaimed and burrowed underground.

"Son Pikachu! Agility counterattack!" Ash commanded.

"Pika pi!" Pikachu replied. Suddenly Onyx burst from under Son Pikachu, but Pikachu had already appeared behind Onyx. "Pika-Pika-Pi!" The blast of ki and electricity vaporized Onyx causing him to faint. Ash shot the stunned Gary dead.

"Smell ya later," the Pokémaster smirked, "And with my PokéJammer the -Pokémaniac- won't stand a chance." Ash summon Pidgeot from a Pokéball in flew him in the direction of the Pokémaniac.

A lone [Capsule Corp Ragnarok] inched slowly away from DBZ's earth. It has been several months now and they still have not been able to leave the solar system yet. Inside the [Ragnarok] assembled the Z Senshi and allies: Vegeta, Bulma, Chibi-Trunks, Mirai no Trunks, Son Gokou, Son Gohan, Son Goten, Fat Buu, Mister Satan, Videl, Kaioshin Tenshinan, Kuririn, Yamucha, Piccolo, Eighteen, and Chao-tzu. Bulma was attempting to brief the restless warriors on the current situation.

"You see, FUNimation has been trying to invade the FF8 planet," Bulma explained, pointing to a chart, "They've sent our evil dub selves to the planet in order to try to stop it." There was a knock at the spaceship’s hatchway.

"I'll get it!" Son Gokou exclaimed.

"No, Gokou!" Bulma pleaded, "Remember the vacuum of space." Her pleas were too late and she grabbed hold of whatever she could find. Gokou opened the hatch and the vacuum of space sucked out Mr. Satan. Son Gokou and Fat Buu were uneffected by it.

"Well, I don't think he would have helped much anyway," Vegeta remarked.

Suddenly a force pushed Gokou and Fat Buu aside, and Freezer stepped into the ship.

"What are you doing here, Freezer!?" Gokou exclaimed.

"I am simply here to kill you, Son Gokou," Freezer replied coolly, with an air of confidence, "Of course, after we destroy FUNimation. The dub version of me is simply awful...."

"I don't trust you, midget-man!" Fat Buu exclaimed bumped Freezer with his stomach.

"Back off, chubby."

"Oh, you’re callin' me chubby now!" Fat Buu bellowed, "Well, I eat midgets like you for breakfast! Really! I ate a midget!" Freezer decided if he was going to destroy FUNimation, he'd need to stay on somewhat good terms with the Z senshi and ignored Buu. "Midget, the other other other white meat! Midget, it’s what's for dinner!"

"Stop now, Buu," Vegeta scolded, "MORON!"

"You'll be next Vegeta!" Fat Buu hollered back, "Hey, Kuririn. By Kami, you’re tiny! Hey....you must be a midget.... I'm gonna eat you!"

"Not again!" Kuririn screamed and started running for his life.

"Get in my belly!" Fat Buu exclaimed, "I'm bigger than you! I'm higher on the food chain!" Eighteen finally got up to defend her husband.

"Your lucky wee man! Hey Eighteen, I've got a proposition for ya," Fat Buu, "I'll pay you the money Mr. Satan owes you, plus interest, if you give me your midget." Eighteen considered it for a minute and replied, "Riiiigggghtttt."

Fat Buu sang:

"I want my midget back, midget back, midget back, midget back ribs,
I want my midget back, midget back, midget back, midget back ribs,
Tifa's midget back ribs,
Tifa's midget back ribs,
With barbeque sauce!"*

"FUNimation is searching for a power source on the FF8 Planet," Bulma resumed her briefing pointing to the chart with pointless facts, "They are looking for the Anima Twinkie, or a man named Hi-C. What they don't know is where Hi-C is and how to find him. We do. After some searching I've learned that Hi-C is a joint experiment of Dr. Gero's and Professor Hojo. By a plot contrivance Dr. Gero was resurrected in Mirai no Trunks' future and borrowed his time machine and sold some blood samples from every known Super Sayai-jin: Brolly, Vegeta, Trunks, Goten, Gohan, Gokou, and Sonic the Hedgehog. He combined these cells and Jenova cells and injected them into the womb of his wife. Mainly Sephiroth's twin (not identical) Hi-C. Lucretia deemed Hi-C too dangerous. They destroyed him with nanomachine designed to break down Jenova cells. With his body destroyed, his spirit lived on and possessed a boy on the FF7 Planet. Currently all we know about his whereabouts and identity is that he is on the FF8 Planet. Any questions?"

"If Trunks touches Mirai no Trunks will they both cease to exist like in that Van Damme movie Time Cop?" Son Goten asked. Bulma sighed. Son Goten pushed Chibi-Trunks towards Mirai no Trunks in order to test his theory. Trunks caught himself not knowing whether the movie spoke the truth or not.

Son Gokou raised his hand. "I'm hungry."

"That isn't a question and you'll have to eat later." Gokou sighed.

A few minutes passed. Bulma looked around and noticed Kuririn was gone, and looked at Fat Buu accusingly. Then Gokou burped and she gasped. Bulma gave a sigh of relief when Kuririn stepped out of the back room with an armload of stuff.

"Hey Gokou, I found some more Power Sauce Bars," Kuririn said as he handed Gokou some more.

"Yahoo! Alright! Power Sauce Bars!" Gokou exclaimed,"There's no bar with more apple sauce."

"Um, Gokou," Bulma interupted,"You do know that Power Sauce Bars are made of 20% apple cores and 80% shredded newspaper? I should know. Capsule Corp makes the-, I mean, Red Ribbon made them."

"Which could explained the seemingly limitless supply I had after I woke up," Eighteen added.

"Hey! Parents find the dub's Season 3 offensive," Gokou said, examining his bar.

"Well, I find it offensive, too."

"Does this thing go any faster?" Freezer asked, "I could get out and fly faster than this."

"Then why don't you just do that!" Bulma exclaimed obviously irritated.

"If you say so." Freezer fired one of his finger blast into Fat Buu, sending Fat Buu through the hull of the ship. Freezer then flew through the hole and towards his destination. Bulma went to work patching the hole with a duct tape capsule.

Two figures gathered in a large Pokéball ship. They were certain Pikacthulu was on the FF8 Planet and was on their way. They would once and for all trap Pikacthulu again. He was going to have to prepare for trouble, and make it double.

"Looks like this is the end...." Cait Sith mumbled as he, Agent the Captain, Shera Stargazer and a polite, soft-spoken Cid Highwind sat tied up in the kitchen of Cid's house with a timer-activated deathray about to fire on them.

"Wait," Shera spoke up in a hopeful tone, "Agent the Captain, can't you use your Super-Solarian powers to phase through these ropes and into THE NEXT DIMENSION?"

"Sorry," the agent looked down in defeat, "It's too soon after my last 'phase'. I'm not experienced enough to do it again yet." The quartet began saying their final prayers when an idea hit the Agent. "Wait! I have other powers!"

"Really?" Shera beamed with hope.

"Yes, I'm a Super-Solarian aren't I?" The agent grinned, "OFF COURSE I would have more than just one new ability." The agent concentrated for a few seconds. "There! I can also TALK IN FONTS! This is Courier. This is Verdana."

Silence beset the bound hostages.

"That's wonderful!" bubbled Cid, "I think that's a super-neato keen ability!" The mild-mannered pilot smiled broadly.

Outside Cid's house, Rocket Town was alive with a great battle, actually the conclusion of a great battle, as Benit (with metallic skin) stood triumphantly balancing a cascading orb of energy - more specifically the collection of energy that represented Cid's attitude.

The newly-discovered GF made her way toward Cid's house, being careful not to drop her precious cargo. Without warning, a giant moogle carrying a bazooka burst through the earth and roared - Super-Mutanted Deranged 'Nemesis Moogle'. Benit fell backward against the ground, nimbly balancing the energy orb. The Nememis Moogle growled as it stood between the female GF and Cid's house.

"What's that commotion outside?" Cait asked, his ears perked to the.. 'commotion outside'.

"Obviously the Army of Deranged Mutant Killer Attack Moogles are loose in Rocket Town," Shera calmly answered.

"Dearest me," Cid responded peacefully, "I do hope those rascals do not clutter up my yard."

"We have to get out of here!" Agent the Captain spat, "That deathray could blast us at any second!"

"Will you stop that?!" Shera barked.

"I... can't..."

Suddenly a greenish glow surrounded the Captain and he phased out of existence, only to reappear again (instantly from Team Rocket Town's perspective) in the corner of the kitchen.

"I did it! I was trying to stop talking in Courier, but I phased instead!"

"Hurry up!!" Cait Sith yelled.

"Right." the agent hurried to the deathray and kicked it over, just as it blasted a hole through the wall next to the bound trio. "Cid's gonna be upset later..." the agent mused. "Now, let's get the AVK!!"

Miang watched all that was happening with the Contact, on her monitor in Solaris. She stroked her chin as she sat shrouded in Evil Character Darkness^TM.

"I think the -Sol9000- has learned too much," she said to herself. "I shall -do away- with them soon. Or, I should say, -Krelian- shall." For Krelian, in his own selfish quest to resurrect Nintendeus, was helping her in ways he had not intended. Krelian only knew that Time Compression would ressurrect Nintendeus; he did not know that in doing so, he would help meld all the Mothers from all the seperate Square worlds into one super-powered Mother of All Mothers.

Miang switched the viewer from the Contact to a lone Guardian Force standing outside a Rocket Town home. There was the Key...now all she needed to do was discover the Power. Then she could bring them all together, provided she could stop that -meddling- Guardian Angel and the Agents.

Sensing the scattered presence of the Jenova Mother, Miang sent her power out into the void, where it passed down into the FFVII world, to settle on the Jenova-MOOGLE.

Perhaps that would clip the Angel's wings...

As Benit gathered herself to rise, she noticed a weird energy glow from the sky. It dropped slowly onto the Nemesis Moogle/Jenova-MOOGLE/etc., seemingly mutating it even more. She clutched the orb as she heard an odd voice say, "Perhaps that shall clip the Angel's wings."

She clenched her teeth and almost rose when an explosion blasted out part of Cid's house. Benit rose more quickly and ran out of the way as Jenova-MOOGLE slammed a tentacle into the ground where the minter/Agent/GF/etc., was. She pivoted on her heel and ran inside Cid's house by way of the huge fissure.

Everyone looked at Nemesis as it was coming up towards them. A blue screen just said, "A."

"A? What the spoony?" the Captain wondered.

"Did anyone ever play Resident Evil? I don't get this..." Benit asked confusedly.

"It's spelling something, but I can't ascertain what...it spelled S.T.A.R.S. in Resident Evil 3. Give it some time while we fight it!" Q said as the last of Benit's metallic skin peeled off, showing the ever regular Benit they all once knew.

"Take a tentacle!" Phantom suggested as he ran up to one. The other six ran up to one of their own, weapons equipped.

Pandemonium had broken out in Rocket Town.

The agents - Princess Q, Agent Benit, Agent the Captain, Trainer Phantom Ghost, Agent Axer - squared off against a giant mutant Nemesis Moogle, while Cait Sith and Sher Stargazer dragged away a dazed Cid Highwind wearing a frilly, pink apron.

Suddenly, everything went blue, "G".

"That's getting old real fast," Agent the Captain mumbled.

"Never mind that," Trainer Phantom Ghost shouted, "We gotta take this thing DOWN!"

Princess Q moved away from her pile of unconscious Moogles, pleased that she was not going to have to kidnap anyone to search for Cid's attitude after all.

The night before, she had collected her Pokémon and Non-Deranged Trained Attack Moogles from the lab, so they were with her now. Kupi held the Ragnarok over her shoulder while Kumog used his Aura Lance as a staff.

The three walked over to Cid's house, only to find, much to their surprise, a giant Jenova-enhanced Moogle standing in a very menacing manner before Benit. Or perhaps Aoi would be the better name; for her skin was metalic and several frozen Moogles were nearby. Aoi was holding a glass sphere...inside roiled the very powers of Cid's Attitude itself.

Then, something terrible happened. The Jenova Moogle's blood-stained fur turned indigo, and it grew several feet. In height; it only grew one extra paw.

Princess Q's eyes widened. She had never before knew that the Urobulous DNA was present on so many planets! Perhaps when the Chibi Nanomachine snow had fallen last Christmas it had inadvertantly rearranged the DNA of every female on several Square worlds. It was horrifying to contemplate. All she could be thankful for was that the Chibi Nanomachines had not affected the agents!

Just then, a brief flash of frilly pink and white passed by the corner of the house, as well as several million felines. Fully aware of the sad fact that only an attitude-deprived Cid would wear such an awful color, Princess Q shouted to get his attention.

She hoped that perhaps Cid would come close enough for his attitudde to automatically return...and that perhaps the Contact would come as well. That many cats were never used unless it was to smother the Contact...

Q, Axer, and Phantom attempted to chase down Cid, while Metallic Benit (mistaken for Aoi a little too often) held the very orb of Cid's Attitude in her hands. In front of her, Nemesis Moogle towered over her. Benit looked her surroundings.

She got up just before a shot from a ray-gun blasted a hole from where she was previously. She HAD to get to Cid. The ray-gun shot behind her, but she jumped over it. Another shot, and Benit carefully aimed a Blank Check at it. She looked ahead of her and saw a pink apron equipped Cid running towards her without his awareness.

Benit charged into the house. There, the Captain, Shera, Cait, and the man she was looking for, Cid, were all in the house. She approached Cid carefully, but in a haste, for the MOOGLE was still outside.

"Hiya, Cid. Mind if I crack something over your head?" Benit asked calmly.

"Dearest me, why is your skin met-"

"I knew you wouldn't mind!" With that, Benit broke the orb over Cid's head. The viscous liquid spread all over the pilot's body. The group started to notice Cid's face go from pale to a bright red in seconds, and his expression went from calm to anger. As the liquid disappeared, nobody spoke a word.

That's when they heard it - low at first, but building in intensity. It struck them almost like a sonic boom - Cid got his attitude back.

"What the $%#$@!? happened to my yard?!?!

The entire group of agents were thrown to the ground by the shockwave of Cid's outburst, reeling in pain and clutching their "freakin' ears". Agent Axer was the first to regain his composure, "Cid?" The agent struggled to his feet and spotted the pilot stomping toward them, "Cid! You're back!"

"You're &^%$#!in' well right I'm back! Who wrecked my perfectly-maintained yard?!?!"

The group backed away from the recently revived Cid, as he tensed up, then yelled in a loud voice that they found familliar:

"WHY THE *^##^*)*%@$&*)()*^$% IS THIS APRON ON ME!!!???"

"Welcome back, Cid," Benit said matter-of-factly.

"What the...? Your (&%$@&^# skin!" He looked outside and saw the Shinra 27 destroyed. This brought him to his limit.

"My precious rocket!! My (&$#@^%*( rocket!!!! Who did this!? *^#@^!!!!"

"I think THAT did," the Captain pointed to Jenova-MOOGLE. Everyone equipped their weapons.

"Let's kick some candy-pink @$$!"

Mewtwo and his doting mother Mew materialized in a purple psychic flash upon the Esthar continent of the FFVIII world. Mewtwo had sensed that Ash was here...and therefor Pikachu might be as well.

And there was only one thing Mewtwo hated more than that furry yellow rat. Truth be told, the only Pikachu he liked was his own, Lit-Chu. The thing he hated more? Pikacthulhu, the most annoying, ugliest, nastiest, most arrogant, and most megalomaniacal Pikachu, nay, Pokémon, in all existance.

Mewtwo just hated Pikachu megalomaniacs. So he had no intention of allowing that stupid upstart Ash to help Pikacthulhu return from the NEXT DIMENSION.

His mother, Mew, had accompanied him for an entirely different reason. Mew was an ancient and powerful Pokémon, born in South Brazil upon the Real Earth; she quickly learned the use of her extraordinary powers to travel time and game-space. Her power was only matched by her knowledge and wisdom; unfortunately, Fate had intervened to protect Life, the Universe, and Everything from her deep wisdom by preventing her from speaking any language other than Mew. In fact, her son Mewtwo was the only one who could understand her.

The reason Mew had traveled with her son was simple: she needed to prevent Time Compression. For as a powerful Mother in a videogame, she too might be subject to the merging of the Mothers if Miang was successful. Miang didn't know about that now, fortunately. If she ever did find out, Mew would be in extreme danger.

So, their motives clearly established, Mewtwo and Mew flew off in search of Ash.

Miang watched the oncoming battle unfold with great disappointment. She wanted to bring down the angel with Nemesis' newfound power, but the pixie GF/Key of Time was getting in it's way. She knew Nemesis was indestructible, so she relaxed away with that thought...

"We've lost 'em..." Dr. Mayhem snickered as he stepped through a cheesy BFM portal just outside Rocket Town. The rest of the AVK followed - Evil Agent NC81, Mini Cactaur and Professor Flint.

"I left the agents a nasty fun suprise," sneered Professor Flint. "They'll be busy with Nemesis Moogle for awhile..."

"Just to be sure," Dr. Mayhem tapped his lip in thought, "Trainer the Captain, I choose you!" The evil scientist threw out a pokéball which shot forth a red beam. Trainer the Captain materialized in front of them and bowed obediently.

"Vat would you hev me do, comrade?" The Russian asked.

"Go back to Rocket Town and make sure the Agents are taken care of," Dr. Mayhem ordered, "And do NOT fail me!"

"Ov course, my master." The evil trainer stepped back into the BFM portal and vanished.

"Now," Mayhem grinned, "We begin phase two!" The AVK cackled with evil delight for ten minutes straight.

"E" the white letters on blue screen continued.

Q and Benit took battle stances while Axer charged ahead, only to be knocked back by Nemesis' tentacles. Trainer PG looked down at his belt while trying to decide which Pokémon to use. Agent the Captain started summoning up his Super-Solarian Power when something caught his eye.

"Who's that?" the Agent nodded in the direction of a cloaked figure running toward them.

The mysterious figure produced a bow and arrow as he ran, and shot the giant mutant moogle in the chest. The arrow that had pierced the monsters' torso had a long rope attached to it. The cloaked figure stopped at a truck parked by a house and tied the rope to the bumper. Without another word, the mysterious individual slipped the vehicle in gear and drove off, dragging the Nemesis Moogle behind it. Agent Garret wedged an arrow against the gas peddle and jumped out of the moving truck as it sped off into the distance, dragging the Nemesis behind it.

The agents were startled to say the least. "Thanks, stranger," Agent Axer nodded at the approaching figure.

"Name's Garret. Agent Garret."

Princess.

Princess Q toned out the rest of the agents as a voice in her head called to her.

The Contact is in great danger.

The veteran agent looked up woefully at this new stranger, unsure wether he was friend or foe.

While everyone else was thanking the newly arrived Garret, who looked too familliar to Tonamel/Musika/Erdrick, and Artemis seemed to be in her own little world, Benit turned around and saw a BFM portal open behind her. A figure she recognized as the evil Trainer Captain stepped out.

"Hey, that's impossible. You're supposed to be part of Cappy over there," Benit "oh so cerimoniously" pointed out.

"Nyet. Dis is vhere ve rumble, fool," the trainer said. He took out Rapier Wit and attempted to slice Benit, since she was closest in range. She took Saturn Rhapsody out and began a duel against him.

It was trainer vs minter in CG animation action as Liberi Fatali played in the background. Trainer Captain almost beheaded Benit, but she ducked. She tried to stab him, but failed. She tripped him in the process, but not without the Rapier Wit slicing a good cut across her face Squall-style.

Everyone else gasped at Benit's fate as she held her face in her hand. She looked at it, but...

"Yer not bleeding, comrade!" evil Trainer tC yelled. Everyone else blinked. Benit turned around and glared smite at him.

It was then that Trainer tC noticed his opponent, unlike everyone else there, wasn't human. The skin that opened had revealed another colour of skin underneath: teal. By now, the rest of Benit's regular skin shedded off and now stood another form.

Artemis! The Contact is in great danger!

Q snapped herself back to reality and tried to project her thoughts, saying Whoever you are, another friend of mine is going through a metamorphisis because of evil Trainer tC!

What? The trainer was the Contact's threat! I guess not anymore and the voice vanished.

"Yer....not human!" evil Trainer tC stammered.

Benit sure didn't look human anymore. Her skin was teal indeed, and her hair was cerulean, with bangs going down her pointed ears Quistis-style. Decorations went around her chin and under her eyes, those were blue. Her eyes were just purely white and almond shaped. Her apparell was only a peacock bodysuit that ended over her chest, with a black Alchemist's symbol for lead (looks like Saturn's symbol for the unwary) splashed on there.

"Boy.....Aoi lives up to her name," Q remarked. Aoi glared even more smite at evil Trainer tC as a dimenional rift opened in her palm and thousands of little (and very sharp) blue diamonds shot through it, impaling the hapless trainer. A blue screen over the group said "Blue Dimension".

"Her attack's name, I guess..." Axer remarked. The trainer fell to his demise through a BFM portal, but recovered quickly inside it. Aoi turned around and blinked at everyone. She opened her mouth to say something, but she was struggling.

Q went up and touched Aoi's throat.

"She doesn't have vocal chords! Aoi is a silent GF!"

ROCKSLIDE, complete with honorary members Solid Ekans, Gray Fox and Jimi, slipped under an overhanging lip of dark rock into Twinkie Dungeon Number One. It was completely dark inside. It also happened to be maddeningly quiet. Gray Fox held out his palm, and an orb of ki, smelling strongly of Dragon Ball references, coalesced in it.

"What does a Dragon Ball reference smell like, anyway?" KAMME asked. There was a general shrug. Regardless of peculiar and unidentifiable odors, the ki cast a cone of hazy light over the Agents' surroundings. The group stopped short, realizing they stood on the lip of a ledge. Spread out below them was a cavernous chamber, made entirely of steel and full of silent dust motes. Jimi began to play some mood music at this point.

"How are we going to get down there?" Solid Ekans asked. ROCKSLIDE looked pointedly at Gray Fox, leading the party. He tugged at his bandana nervously.

"Look, I just work here. And at my bar, which I am positive has been destroyed by now." He squinted across the vast expanse of dull metal. "Ekans, give me your MGS-ref scope." Solid Ekans pulled the device out of his Inventory and handed it to Gray Fox, who peered into it. He focused them in on the center of the Twinkie Dungeon. A small cargo lift was sitting there, dormant, with a computer panel next to it. He stood up. "We want to go down there."

'That's great, but how do we get there?' Agent 1469 signed. Nobody noticed him.

"…," D said emphatically.

"Hey, good idea, D!" Alys said brightly. "Mr. T, remember what you did when we were all escaping from Bab-il Tower?"

"Oh yeah! I tossed all o' yo asses! Glad to do it again!" Before anybody could protest, Mr. T started tossin'. Gray Fox, KAMME, Solid Ekans, Alys, Celes, Agent 1469, Pikafoo', D and Jimi all landed in an unceremonious heap next to the distant cargo lift. Seeing his work finished, Mr. T grabbed his ankle and tossed himself down. There was a pained crunch as the HFILuva tough summon landed on the pile of ROCKSLIDE.

"Owwwwww!" KAMME wailed. He then exploded. ROCKSLIDE flew apart. Gray Fox's Scouter beeped.

"Oh no…his power level's rapidly dropping."

"CAM!" Celes yelled, running over to where CAM had been. To her surprise, he was still there, grinning mildly.

"Heh…I turned back into CAM," he said. "Kind of melodramatic, wasn't it?" Celes looked taken aback for a moment, then she hugged CAM, cutting off his circulation. He made strangled noises.

"Don't do that anymore!" she reprimanded him. He nodded feebly, his skin deep purple. The team dragged Celes off CAM, and they boarded the lift. It brought them down to a dark staircase. A monitor flashed on the wall, still on.

"'The emergency button inside the reactor was activated 34999999 hours ago,'" Gray Fox read. "What the spoony's that mean?"

"It means somebody's gonna have a really, really, really high power bill," Solid Ekans mused. ROCKSLIDE shrugged in odd unison, then stepped through a door at the bottom of the stairs. Beyond was another steel room, this one glowing with several banks of computers and another elevator in the middle. Gray Fox stepped onto it, but it refused to budge. He aimlessly banged on a nearby computer in frustration. It beeped, and a message began to scroll down its screen. The team crowded around it.

'Destined child,' it began. 'You have come for the Anima Twinkie?'

"Yes," CAM said. "Yes, I have." The computer seemed to blink, if that were possible without a few hours in a metal-working shop.

'Not you,' it said. 'The First Child.' It slowly revealed a picture of Gray Fox.

"Me?" the Agent asked. "Huh, and I thought I'd never get to do anything cool in this story."

'References pop up. What would you like to know? Would you like to know the origin of the Anima Twinkie?'

"Not really."

'Would you like to know what your hidden power is?'

"It'll probably show up in a plot contrivance."

'Would you like to know the measurements of Alys Brangwin, the famous Eight-Stroke Hunter?'

"Yes."

'Alright, starting from the top, it's thirty-four, twenty-' It abruptly cut off as Alys slammed her fist into it.

"How the living HFIL does that information spread to even underground, ancient computers on entirely different planets?!" she asked incredulously.

'I got an e-mail along with some Dragon Ball pr0n from some weirdo from Solaris sent me. The Gazel Ministry never quits.' Alys shifted uncomfortably.

"So, can I get the Twinkie now?" Gray Fox asked.

'The First Child is one of the keys to defeating the evil Nintendeus,' the computer printed. 'But we must test he and his allies.'

"Not another contrivance battle," CAM complained. "I'm tired of these."

'Quiet, you.' There was a sudden low hum, and the elevator brought up a hulking, ugly monster. It drooled from its gaping mouth, burning holes in the floor. It had the form of one of the Agents' most feared enemies: Glover.

"Ack! It's Demon-Glover!" Solid Ekans said. The beast thundered toward the Agents, who scrambled to draw their weapons.

"You know," Gray Fox said thoughtfully, despite the havoc going on, "this entire series hadn't had any Breath of Fire references." With that, he yelled something indecipherable and flared brightly. The light faded, and Gray Fox as ROCKSLIDE knew him was there no longer. Instead there stood a dragon, standing upright. It had reddish scales, long hair and a long tail. A pair of black wings was folded onto its back.

"Hey, he turned into Myrmidon." CAM said. "Whoda thunk Gray was part of the Brood?"

"Whoda thunk Ekans had all those IDF-powers or that Cap was the Contact or Benit was a GF?" Gray Fox rasped, spreading out his wings. He hopped into the air and hovered there. Demon-Glover hesitated, too stupid to know what was going on. Gray Fox raised his hands before him and swooped downward. They tore through Glover's stuffing, and the evil glove staggered. The dragon tossed him into the air.

"Ryuken!!!" Gray Fox hissed, and a blast of ki shot from his open palm and completely annihilated the monster. He snorted triumphantly, and reverted back into human form. "Thank you very much, good night!" ROCKSLIDE clapped politely, overwhelmed by the Agent's ability to find a game that hadn't been reffed yet.

"So what is phase two, anyway?"

"Well first," Dr. Mayhem began to explain the second part of his insidious plan to the gathered AVK Corporation while they travelled across the landscape in their AVK hot-air balloon. It was a clean, white balloon with the big, red letters 'AVK' on opposite sides, sort of like those Re/Max balloons. "We visit our subsidiary corporation, FUNimation, Inc. With Cid Highwind out of the way, FUNimation is clear to rid the world of all violence and foul language - creating a planet of mindless, well-mannered zombies. MWAH HAH HAH HAH!!!"

As the balloon travelled outward toward the horizon, the droning laughter of the AVK repeated over and over.

"So where the &%$#@!? is this 'Nemesis Moogle' that trashed my yard, then?!" Cid barked at the gathered Agents plus Cait and Shera.

"Uh," Trainer Phantom Ghost pointed in the direction the truck had sped off, "He went thataway..."

"Shera! Cait! Fire up the Tiny Bronco! We're goin' onna moogle hunt!!" With that, Team Rocket Town hurried behind Cid's house.

"Well," Agent Axer started, "Since two of our subplots seem to be resolving themselves, what do we do now?"

Princess Q was about to speak up when she was stricken with a blinding pain. Axer and Garret leaned forward and stopped her from falling to the ground while her mind was assaulted with some intense force, possibly a message.

"Now," she weakly began, "We protect the Contact."

All Agents followed her determined gaze to the person standing in her sight - Agent the Captain simply shrugged blankly.

Somewhere near the Nibel Mountians a lone truck sped across the landscape, a large lump of flesh being drug behind it. Suddenly the one side of the trucks wheels began to ride up a slight embankment, causing the truck to flip over and violently slide to a stop. The shapless form tied to the back remained motionless for a moment, then finally began to stir. It hauled itself to what appeared to be its feet, then turned to face back towards Rocket Town.

A large amount of saliva dripped from its fangs as Nemesis-Moogle began marching back towards Rocket Town, still dragging the overturned truck by the arrow in its chest.

"A.G.E.N.T.S." Nemesis drooled, trudging slowly but steadily back towards the last known location of the Agents.

Misty, The Pokémaniac, and Brock stood outside of their ship. Suddenly their PokéDexs chimed.

"Huh?" Misty questioned,"This must be Ash on this reading. 250!? Impossible!" Suddenly Brock and Misty's Poké-Dexes exploded.

"He has more Pokémon than both of us!" Brock exclaimed.

"Well, if you combine your strength you could defeat him," The Pokémaniac reminded them, "Can't you, comrades? Of course; you two are expendable." Brock and Misty sweatdropped. "Of course, he doesn't stand a chance against me." A smile ran across the Pokémaniac's face.

Suddenly Ash dropped from the sky from his perch on top of Pidgeot. "Pidgeot! Return!" The bird Pokémon flew back into its respective Pokéball. Then Ash clicked on the Poké Jammer on his arm. Brock and Misty took battle stances, and Ash only smirked.

"Onyx! Go!" Brock exclaimed.

"Golduck! I choose you!" Misty cried.

The dou tossed their respective Pokéballs, and they fell to the ground motionless. The Pokéballs sizzled and stopped moving. Ash only smiled.

"I'd like to introduce you to a device I call a Poké Jammer. It paralyzes all Pokémon in range, prevents PokéDex readings, and prevents all Pokéballs stuck shut. This leaves a trainer to their own devices to defeat their opponents." Before Brock and Misty could react, Ash had dispatched them with his pistol.

"I see you’re using a Poké Jammer," The Pokémaniac said, "There are other ways to defeat another trainer." The Pokémaniac threw off his cloak and revealed himself to be the evil Trainer The Captain. "Dis is vere ve vumble."

The mysterious pair's PokéBall Ships entered the atmosphere. Jessie looked out the window and noticed another pair coming towards the FF8 Planet. Mew and Mewtwo were coming towards the planet. He had not seen them for years. This planet was about to become hell on Earth. The last time Team Rocket had seen those two was in the battle between Mewtwo and Pikacthulu for rule over the Pokémon.

**flashback-sequence**

Mewtwo fired a Psychic attack at Pikacthulu. Pikacthulu doged with Agility, and returned fire with a Shockwave Pulsar. Mewtwo got hit with the electric blast, but used Recovery to regenerate the damage. The stray gunshot came between the two.

"hOw DaRe YoU!?" Pikacthulu exclaimed.

"Who's there?" Mewtwo asked.

"To protect the world from devastation," a female voice explained.

"To unite all peoples within our nation," a male voice added.

"To denounce the evils of truth and love."

"To extend our reach to the stars above."

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth! That's right!" Jessie, James, and Meowth overlooked the battlefield from a nearby hill.

"wHaT cAn YoU tWo Do?" Pikacthulu snapped.

"Arcane ball! Go!" Jesse exclaimed and tossed a rune covered Pokéball.

"Arcane ball! Go!" James tossed another rune covered Pokéball. The two Pokéballs slammed into Mewtwo and Pikacthulu. Mewtwo and Pikacthulu were sucked into the Arcane Balls, and they clicked. Mewtwo and Pikacthulu were sucessfully captured.

**end-flashback-sequence**

Team Rocket sealed the accursed Pokéballs in places where no one could ever find them, but despite all their troubles Pikacthulu and now Mewtwo had escaped his spherical prison.

**flashback-sequence**

"So this is where the ultimate Pokémon is supposed to dwell," Ash said.

"Look over there!" Misty pointed to a large rune covered PokéBall.

"That must be it," Brock added, "What do the scriptures say about it?"

"Let me check my notes," Ash said and then pulled some memos from Proffessor Oak out of his pocket. "Let's see. First we need a human sacrifice."

"Human sacrifice?" Misty asked.

"Where are we going to get one of those," Brock wondered aloud.

"Hey! Look over there!" Ash pointed the over way, and when Brock and Misty's backs were turned he shot them. Blood spilled on the PokéBall and it began to glow. "Now I have to speak the ancient script in order to summon him." Ash read from the translations. "Pikacthulu! I choose you!" A brilliant light emitted from the PokéBall. "Ha! Now according to the translations: 'Whoever preforms the ritual of release will possessed the most powerful Pokémon in the universe.' Hey that sounds like a bad translation."

The PokéBall swung open and in a flash of light Pikacthulu appeared.

"aSh KeTcHuM! fOr ReLeAsHiNg Me! yOu ShAlL nOw BeCoMe My BiTcH."

"Huh?" Ash asked.

**end-flashback-sequence**

Ash had made a horrible mistake. The tablets had been badly translated. They were supposed to read "Whoever preforms the ritual of rlease will be possessed by the most powerful Pokémon in the universe." Now evil Trainer the Captain has released Mewtwo to kill Ash before he can revive Pikacthulu. With all the evil forces converging on the FF8 Planet, the world was about to be delivered to hell in a handbasket.

"So...what do we do now?" Axer asked. Everyone gave a general shrug simultaneously. Suddenly, Aoi perked her head and tapped Q's shoulder.

"What?" she asked. Aoi then did a lip sync several times, and Q made them out as "F-F-8".

"The FF8 world? What made you come up with that?"

Aoi just tapped her head with her hand.

"Just a thought, eh?"

"She does have a point. All the evils seem to be gathering there in the other subplot," Trainer Phantom Ghost replied.

"But we have to protect Cappy, or should I say, the Contact," Axer stated. Aoi just looked around.

"Best way to protect him is to destroy everything." Now that they were going to the FF8 world, how were they going to get there? The Agents stood in silence wondering how they would get to the FF8 world for many minutes. Then, suddenly and without warning, a plot contrivience hit town like a speeding bus!

A rift of white energy ripped through the very fabric of reality, time and space became wounded by a mysterious, magical blade. Through the newly-created rift, a large individual drapped in a red cowl stepped through.

"I am GILGAMESH," the stranger said, "I seek the Signing Sword^TM. Is it here?" The tall stranger glared down at them, and Princess Q noticed a strange rustling under his cape, almost as if there were more to this stranger than met the eye.

"Hey!" Agent Axer snapped his fingers, "Maybe you could check the FF8 World. I'm *SURE* the Singing Sword^TM would be there!"

Gilgamesh eyed the group with suspicion until, "Perhaps you are correct. Fortunately the N-Zone intersects with that world as well." The MAN turned to re-enter his portal, "I'll take my leave."

"Wait!" Trainer Phantom Ghost interrupted, "Could you possibly let us follow behind you? We're your biggest fans."

Princess Q sensed what the others were planning, "Yes. Uh- we have all your merchandise: Gilgamesh the cologne, Gilgamesh the hat, Gilgamesh the disposable contact lenses...." Agent the Captain nodded proudly at the mention of that last item.

"Very well," the MAN answered, "This way, hurry!"

The Agents quickly followed Gilgamesh into the N-Zone, Benit, aka Aoi, Axer, Phantom Ghost, Princess Q, Agent Garret and finally, Agent the Captain.

But fate, it seemed, had another twist in store for our heroes. Agent Garret turned his head slightly in reaction to a sound in the distance just as he stepped into the portal. Agent the Captain turned to see the Nemesis Moogle walking slowly toward them, dragging behind it a truck, a shredded Team Rocket Town balloon and a hot dog cart. The beast moaned in anger as it sensed its prey's escape. Princess Q turned her head just in time to see Agent Garret shove the Captain back out of the portal, before diving out after him.

"No.....!!!" she yelled as the portal slammed shut. She had failed in her mission - the Contact was in danger. They had left him there with the Nemesis Moogle, the AVK, his evil double and their unknown agent, Garret. And they were helpless to do anything about it.

As the MAN Gilgamesh stabbed into reality once more to reveal the world of FF8, the Agents emerged in silence. They had arrived - but at what cost?

Rufus Shinra's door was a very nice door, but it was unexpected that it should suddenly move as Hojo rushed into his office.

"Mr. President," he said, "I've just recieved word from the team responsible for one of our anti-WEAPON projects. You may remember the ones that we re-directed funding to after huge fanfic monsters kept blowing up the building."

"Yes," Rufus said, "What's the problem."

"Well," the scientist began, "This was based on some 'anime reference' mecha plans that we designed based on some materials that we discovered at the site of some dimensional disruptions, probably caused by a crossover event of some sort..."

"Get to the point."

"Well, the mecha derived from the research was transformable, so I had two sets of blueprints for the different modes that where sent to the production team...but it seems that somehow the second set, where replaced with some other plans."

"Other plans?" Rufus said, "You don't mean they actually got it to transform into the wrong thing?"

"You'd better just come down and see it," Hojo said beconing his employer towards the elevator outside, "The original plans where pretty simple, it converted into an aircraft form, I was watching a lot of Gundam Wing at the time, and it seemed like a good idea. The plans that got in instead where for a much smaller unit, a stealth robot that was about the size of a house pet. It was designed to infiltrate stuff, like rival corporations and such."

"We don't have any rival corporations," Rufus said, "We own just about everything."

"You never know," Hojo said, "It could've been used to infiltrate Evebucks or Umberella, but that project was put on hold when we found out about the abundance of secret agents on the planet that we could already hire. Anyhow, the disturbing thing is that the designers managed to integrate the design of the stealth unit into the mecha in the mecha's size specifications. It looks weird as HFIL when it's transformed, but the outer 'shell', which is equipped with Stealth Camoflauge breaks away to form wings and armor plating and whatnot that may actually improve it's battle performance."

"So," Rufus said, "What's the bottom line to all this?"

"We've got a seriously spoonyed-up mecha," Hojo said, as the two reached the desired floor and exited the elevator, "We where able to find enough of that 'adamant' ore from other Final Fantasy worlds to build up the armor, and the crossover equipment specs did allow us to make some very powerful weapons. Unfortuantely, I wasn't able to anticipate the power of the blatant reference technology that we had discovered. It uses up far more power than could have been expected, so we'd pretty much have to have those cables leading to the Sister Ray hooked up to it for it to move. It's pretty much useless to us."

"So," Rufus said, "What do you propose we do with it?"

Hojo approached the huge set of doors leading to the vehicle's storage place, "I know one group that actually runs mecha with huge power cables leading to them, the STA team."

"Those guys from that huge Pizza-adventure thing?" Rufus said, ". . . that's right, they did use a sort of Evangelion-type thing when they fought most of their mecha battles. Hmm...that Agent we sent to Evebucks has ties to them...maybe giving that guy this thing could keep him off our back about payment for that infiltration mission."

"That's what I hoped you'd say," Hojo said, "After all, I don't think we could find anyone willing to pilot...this." The doors slid away, and the Shinra president gazed up at the huge machine.

"Oh dear Mog no!"

Aoi, Axer, and Phantom Ghost were unaware of the traumas behind them as they stepped through the portal, but Q froze inside it, looking at the dark side that had lead to the FF7 world.

"Q, what's up? Where's Garret and the Captain?" Axer asked.

"He's back at the FF7 world with Garret and any enemies left there," Q solemnly answered. Phantom and Aoi rose their eyebrows in stress.

"Hurry, the portal shall close and you will be stuck in the fabric of space and time," Gilgamesh said before leaving. They were in the Esthar area. Now they were utterly confused as to what to do. Aoi looked at her Coin Toss Relic. Aoi was about to screw open the Relic when two Pokéballs approached them. When they crashed to the ground, they opened and revealed Mew and Mewtwo. At an instant, Mew became somewhat excited.

"Mew!" she repeated.

"Mom, Pikathulu has to be brought down. Besides, I hate his guts," Mewtwo replied. The two Mews turned around and saw the four Agents. Aoi put the CTR away.

"Mew! Thank goodness you're here! Is there any way for me to go back to the FF7 world?" Q asked. Mew shrugged.

"She thinks there is, but it takes time to get back there," Mewtwo answered.

"I'll do anything!"

"Ride the Pokéball back there."

"Alrighty then! I'm going back to the FF7 world, you guys! Good luck on your next mission!" Q said as she entered a large Pokéball and it flew off.

Aoi raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's pretty weird for a human to go into a Pokéball," Mewtwo replied.

"So what do we do?" Phantom Ghost asked.

Aoi puffed up her cheeks until they were red, pretended she was giving off electricity and acted like she was stabbing herself.

"What??? You're a hamster committing suicide?" Axer asked her.

"No, you idiot! The best thing for us to do is deal with Pikathulu and FUNimation invasions," Mewtwo answered. With that in mind, Mew, Mewtwo, Axer, Phantom and Aoi headed off to their next destination.

"Where is Pikacthulu anyway?" Phantom asked.

"Ash Ketchum is his trainer. But recently I heard that he summoned Pikacthulu and is under his control. That's why I'm trying to find him. My mom is trying to prevent Time Kompression because she's a potential target," Mewtwo explained. Aoi cocked her head.

"Potential target?" Axer wondered.

"HaHaHaHa!! YoU aRe UnDeR mY cOnTrOl, AsH kEtChUm! YoUr FiRsT mIsSiOn: BrInG mE tHe ThReE aGeNtS aNd TwO mEwS tO mE aLiVe!" Pikacthulu commanded the under a trance Ash and Pikachu.

"Yes, master...." he replied dully.

As if a plot contrivance decided to play with their minds, a BFM portal opened and out stepped Ash and Pikachu in front of the group of five in Esthar. Mewtwo became furious when his eyes laid upon Pikachu.

"Haha! My master, Lord Pikacthulu, has ordered me to bring you to him alive!" Ash said.

"Pika!"

"You and your damn Pikachu! Prepare to meet your fate, you little cartoon demons!" Mewtwo cried out and launched a purple psychic beam at them. They merely stepped it aside, but a crystal shard from Aoi impaled his ribs.

'Tis merely a flesh wound! Prepare to meet my master!" he said as a portal opened underneath everybody.

"OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!" Axer and Phantom yelled as all seven of them were sucked inside the portal.

When everyone woke up, they found themselves in a familliar area. It looked like Death had approached them, for they were in the NEXT DIMENSION.

"Pikacthulu! Where are you!? I'm gonna put an end to your reign of terror and FUNimation hordes for good! Long Live DBZ!" Mewtwo yelled.

"HaHaHaHa!!! HeRe I aM!" Pikacthulu emerged from the skies with what appeared to be a black belt on his waist.

"How long have I waited for you? Ever since Team Rocket seperated us from our battle! Let us end it!" Mewtwo said.

"NoT wItHoUt A tWiSt!" Pikathulu summoned some odd magic that only made the three Agents/GF flash white, then they became smaller.

"Mew!" Mew cried as she saw the three of them all become Pokémon. The once human Axer now looked like a snake with two heads. One side was red and the other was blue. One was happy, the other was sad. One was completely opposite from the other except for one thing: Pikacthulu was gonna get it.

The once GF Aoi was now a crossover between Carbuncle and a Grendel, the tail looking too much like a glaive. The Saturn symbol was embedded into her forehead, and that was inside a blue diamond instead of a ruby on her forehead.

The once trainer Phantom Ghost was now literally a classic Hallowe'en ghost in appearance, except that the letters "PG" were on his forehead.

"Axer! AAAAxeeer! (Hey! We're Pokémon!)" Axer cried.

"Aoi! (Change us back!)" Aoi yelled.

"Phantom!! (Hey this' pretty cool!)" Phantom replied.

"EnOuGh!! TiMe We HaD a ReAl PokéMoN bAtTlE, WITH YOU AS POKÉMON!" Pikathulu shouted, and Ash prepared his Pokémon.

"Axer....... (We don't have trainers, though)" Axer moaned.

"Aoooooooiiiii!!!! (Well, this just royally sucks!)"

As if on cue, Misty and Brock materialized near the Pokémon. They both rubbed the areas they were shot with from Ash's pistol.

"Hey alright! A Pokémon battle!" Misty cried as she held Axer in her hands, despite the fact that he was a two headed snake Pokémon.

"You're gonna regret shooting us, Ash!" Brock said as he picked up Aoi and his Pokéballs full of rock Pokémon.

"HaHaHa!!! NoW wE'lL sEe wHo'Ll WiN, yOu InFeRnAl KiDs!!!" Pikacthulu said. The battle was on.

"Phantom!!!!! (Hey, who's gonna use me!?)" Phantom Ghost wondered.

Mewtwo was, unexpectedly, an expert Pokémon trainer. So he picked up the Phantom Ghost Pokémon and looked at it.

"CAM looked like more fun to play with. Oh well, perhaps this one will suffice."

And if it doesn't, Mewtwo thought to himself, I'm perfectly capable of frying Pikacthulu myself.

Just before the Pokémon battle began, Mew mewed in Mewtwo's ear. Mewtwo nodded in understanding. "You're right, you should. The Key and the Power may be on the same planet, but the Contact is the one in more immediate danger."

"Mew," Mew mewed, then waved to her son.

"I will, don't worry," Mewtwo said with an evil grin, "I will."

Mew then formed a protective ball around herself, then rushed away, through the Cleft of Dimension, making her way to the Planet.

Princess Q examined the controls on the intergalactic Pokéship. It was surprisingly roomy inside, with all the latest equipment. Unfortunately, being Mew's ball, all the instrumentation was psychoactive. In smaller words, Princess Q would have to be psychic to use them.

That didn't bother her at the moment, however. She was far too upset about losing the Contact to care about psychoactive ship controls. How could that Agent Garret do such a foolish thing? Just because everyone forgot about him was just no reason to aid in the destruction of the entire space-time continuum.

She was very worried. Normally she didn't chew her nails, but she was munching with a vengance now. Miang was certain to discover the Captain's current vulnerability; the Princess was sure she had sensed a Jenova presence fall upon the Nemesis Moogle. And even though that Moogle wasn't really related to Jenova, Miang had used it as a locator device quite well.

Finally finished biting her nails, Princess Q began drumming her fingers, with much difficulty, on the extremely short arm of the captain's chair, which was not the most comfortable thing in the world. It was designed for Mew, which meant there was a hole at the back to stick her tail through and really really short armrests.

"Perhaps I should try to contact the President. He might be able to help."

So she settled in and began to fall into a deep trance.

Agent the Captain saw the dirt approaching at speeds he wasn't very comfortable with. Surely he would get a nice scrape over this.

And he was right; the ground just outside Cid's house hit him right in the nose with an unpleasant thumping sound. The nerve of some people's yards!

He got up and brushed himself off, pouting about not being able to travel with the MAN. Didn't HE know how hard it was to find such specialty Gilgamesh merchendise like Gilgamesh breath mints and artificial limbs?

Not long after, it occured to him to wonder who had shoved him in the first place. He looked around, but no one was in sight except for a very large Nemesis Moogle and a...what's this?

The Captain licked his lips and made his way over to a serving of poutine, a Canadian Ale, and a Cid Highwind keychain that didn't look like a half-melted Jenova monster. All three items were suspiciously sitting atop a large net, but the Captain being the freedom-impaired, at-risk Agent that he was, utterly failed to notice.

Not even the unusually large amount of cat-hair lying everywhere sparked his sense of self-preservation.

Just as he sat down to enjoy his beer, the Nemesis Moogle shuddered as the Jenova presence left it and began gently closing the net around Agent the Captain. The Nemesis Moogle momentarilly forgot what letter it was on and had to sit down to think about it.

President Loire was asleep on his throne. His head was tilted far back, and his mouth was wide open, with a little drool just begining to drip.

Princess Q arrived amidst the swirling Pokéballs and sighed. Of course President Loire would drool in his sleep. She should have known. She waited a few moments, but when the President failed to awaken, she walked up to stand beside him and shouted, "PRESIDENT!!"

"WHAT!?" Laguna cried, startled out of his sleep enough to fall off the throne. He shook his head and brushed his long hair out of his face, then looked up at the Guardian Angel. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Uh...no, sorry. It's been a long time since I lived in Solaris." In fact, it had been years. Her first assignment had taken her to an orphanage on the FFVIII world, and ever after that, she only visited Solaris when she had to.

"Right. Anyway, we have a situation," the President explained. "Ever since your Agent friends imprissoned Eve, Miang's been throwing a fit. She's also built enough Evebuck's coffee houses to have one on every block on several worlds. In fact, Facinaturu and several of the regions there have already experienced a huge rise in zombified citizens. I hear only Blue/Rouge and Gen of Wakatu are still able to make regular reports to STA."

Princess Q blinked several times. This certainly did not bode well for Life, the Universe, and Everything. "HFIL...we've got another problem," the Princess began slowly. "The Contact has been stranded on the Planet with AVK, Nemesis Moogle, several million cats, and Jenova."

"What?! How could this happen! It's worse than when Kiros kicked me off that cliff!"

Princess Q just shook her head, not in the mood to correct him. Then she sighed heavily. "What should I do? I'm going back to the Planet as fast as I can, but I just don't think I'll make it in time. The Contact will get himself kidnapped in no time!"

Laguna stroked his chin, still not having bothered to get back up on his throne. "Well...since you are the Guardian Angel of Solaris, I think it's only right for you to use El-Fenrir, the Omnigear reserved for Guardian Angels. It has been souped up a bit since it was last used. Unfortunately, the rules prohibit me from giving it to you now, what with you being in the Cleft of Dimension and all, but I'll send it to the Planet so it will be there waiting for you when you arrive."

"Thank you, President," Princess Q replied cordially. "Hopefully the Mr. Zohar Coffee Device will be able to activate it by then."

The Captain, entirely unaware of his nature as the Contact, sat peacfully eating his poutine while the huge misshappen Nemesis Moogle continued its ponderous thinking. Then, the Captain thought to look up.

"AAHHH!!" he cried out, the terrible truth that he had been trapped again finally settling in. He almost dropped his beer, but with a supreme effort, managed to keep hold of it. Then he looked down.

And screamed again.

He was twenty feet off the ground! How did these things keep happening to him? Then he cast his gaze about, searching for the kidnapper. It didn't take long for him to find her. She was at least fourty feet tall, an exquisite example of female beauty...all except for the tentacles, internal organs dangling out of her abdomen, and the horribly scarred wings on her back.

It was Jenova herself. The great Mother pulled the net closer to her, peering in with large, fiery red eyes. "One down, two to go. Perhaps you should look where you step next time, little one."

The Captain shrugged. "Yeah, I know. I just never learn, do I." Then he took a long swig of his Canadian Ale.

Jenova smirked. "When your little guardian angel returns, I'll introduce you to the First Mother. She's very impatient to meet you."

"Can I ask ya something?" the Agent inquired. Jenova shrugged.

"Well, I just don't quite get it. Why is every scary, creepy, freaky woman in the universe after me? I mean, why not throw in some beautiful ones?"

The large creature laughed. "You don't remember. That's fine. You will, though, you will." When Jenova's smile turned fierce, the Captain sat down and shuddered.

He wished he was immune to Xenogears refs right about now...

The "Contact Squad" stood around as Mewtwo and Ash were about to face off. Before Mewtwo could react Ash flipped the switch on a small device located on his arm. The device crackled to life and Mewtwo fell to the ground in convulsions.

"Heh, I use a Poké Jammer," Ash smirked and drew his sidearm to hold the agents in the NEXT DIMENSION at bay, "Of course, my Pokémon are immune to its effects. And for your information Mewtwo Pikacthulu is not allied with FUNimation, but evil Trainer tC is. Heh, but I can get us all out. I've got six of the dragon balls, and CAM has the last one. I'll just get him to wire us that one, and I'll wish Pikacthulu, Tao Pika Pika, Zio, and myself back." Ash began to cackle, but then noticed something was gone.

Freezer touched down on the FF8 Planet where he saw some fighting from before, but it seems they all sent themselves to the NEXT DIMENSION...stupid dub. Freezer noticed a bag lying on the ground.

"Hmmmm...these look like dragon balls," Freezer stated in his MALE voice, "And six of them.. I just need one more." Freezer smirked. Suddenly the two Pokéball ships containing Team Rocket touched down.

"Look, it’s Mewtwo!" Jesse cried. James hurled the arcane ball. The mystic Pokéball sailed towards Freezer, but stopped in front of his face. Freezer smirked and the most powerful Pokéball exploded. Team Rocket stammered back in shock of the events that just occurred.

"I believe you have the wrong person, but let me introduce myself. I am Lord Freezer, the most powerful being and emporer of the universe," Freezer greeted, "The pleasure is all mine. I think your friend Mewtwo was sent to the NEXT DIMENSION. I'll be glad to send you there to meet him." Before Team Rocket could react Freezer fired his finger blasts through the duo, and the faded into the NEXT DIMENSION. "Stupid dub...." Freezer muttered.

"That was a good warm-up… now to find my evil dubbed clone and Alys. I bet the last dragon ball is with them too." Freezer tried to sense them all, but then quickly remembered he couldn't without a scouter. Freezer pulled out one of the devices he picked up on Earth. He threw down the capsule, and in a poof of smoke a Capsule Corp Vending Machine (TM) appeared. Freezer spotted a scouter and pulled out a five zeni bill. The machine coughed the bill back in an insulting reply, and a sweatdrop appeared on Freezer's hand. He tried to smooth out the bill this time, but it was spit right back out at him. Freezer searched for another, but found none. Inconcievable!--the emporer of the universe--broke. It must be because his obession to kill Son Gokou had occupied all his time.

Freezer tried again and again and again until veins started popping out in his head. Freezer put the bill it again, and it didn't come back out. A moment later, all across the FF8 Planet, people could hear the cries of the aggravated Freezer.

After his meeting with Rufus, Hojo ducked into his laboratory. He put a video in the VCR, and pulled Jenova's severed head from behind the couch.

"Let's obsessively watch family movies over and over again," Hojo suggested.

"Let's not," Jenova replied, "And say we didn't." Hojo ignored the rebellious severed head and turned the VCR on. On the screen was a child Hi-C, rolling a ball back and forth with Lucrecia.

"Weren't those the days," Hojo said, with a tear in his eye, "But Lucrecia liked Sephiroth better and made me destroy Hi-C. That @#$%&."

"I control Lucrecia, you know," Jenova reminded him.

"Yeah, well, the joke's on you," Hojo said, "Even though you made me destroy his body, his spirit lived on, like Sephiroth's. I heard rumors that Hi-C possessed some caffiene guy and used the body to destroy his family. I even heard that Hi-C was starting to re-emerge. I know! I'll get Sephiroth to start up the Masamune and we'll go meet our son. Actually, on second thought, you should stay behind and hold down the fort." Hojo threw Jenova's head back to its home behind the couch.

"Besides, Hi-C is the true destined ruler of this Planet," Hojo said as he left the room, "…and of the entire universe! He is unstoppable!"

Rune, Gabriel, and Grace entered the atmosphere of the FF8 Planet. With the Landale's radar Rune locked on to the tracking device in Alys' slashers. Rune knew that if gears were going to enter this fanfic soon, then everyone will need the equipment they got from Wren. The Laguna Loire's elements set a course for Alys when, there was a crash in the engine room. Before they could react Gabriel was shot in the chest by a finger blast, and Rune was being strangled by Freezer's tail. Gabriel got back up and dusted himself off. There was a hole in his shirt where the shot entered, and the Ritter talisman was unscathed under it.

"Well then," Freezer said, "I can't hurt you, but I can hurt her." Freezer pointed a finger at Grace. "Well, what is it going to be? Take me to Alys or I’ll kill you all. But I'll probably do that anyway. You shouldn't have killed my lesser known cousin, Vanilla Ice." Gabriel Knight reluctantly agreed to take Freezer to Alys.

'Impressive,' the computer printed. 'You are indeed the First Destined Various-Other-Important-Words Child. My creators instructed me to leave you this.' A hatch on the computer terminal opened, and a katana slowly slid upward. 'The Contrivance Blade. A powerful weapon known to cause random references when used in battle. Of course, you should practice caution.'

"Bleh, caution's for suckers," Gray Fox said, drawing the sword and putting it into a random sheath from his Inventory.

'Now, Destined Child, step onto the elevator. Only you. I'm afraid the Twinkie eater and the big muscle guy might break something.' Gray Fox nodded and stepped on the lift. He waved cheerfully and disappeared.

"There is only one Anima Twinkie left existing anywhere in the universe, Destined Child, you loser," a booming, mysterious voice said from nowhere as the lift carried Agent Gray Fox lower and lower. "It is said it is the key to activating the Mr. Zohar device. In other words, it powers the world's spoonimus Gears, but in particular, it powers the most destructive Gears in the universe: the TwinkiEVA units. Unfortunately, they were all destroyed during one of the Lunar Cries. Save for one. Not that it makes any difference." The lift grinded to an abrupt stop, and the mildly confused Agent stepped off.

"Behold, Child, the…Anima Twinkie!" There was a searing blast of light, and Gray Fox saw the relic floating on a pedestal near him. It was a golden Twinkie, and it coursed with an inner power.

"The Anima Twinkie," the voice continued, "In addition to being the key to Mr. Zohar and running the most powerful Gears, the TwinkiEVA units, is a wholesome snack and can be substituted for a person's entire diet in a pinch, if taken with 6-11 servings of bread, 2-3 servings of dairy…."

"Yeah, I get the point," Gray Fox said. He tentatively reached out for the glowing object. It moved into his hand. "Whoa, cool, it's like the Force or something," he said. He put it in his Inventory. "What now, O mysterious contrivanced voice?"

"Now you may meet me." There was a clanking, shuffling sound in the distance. "I've got a terrible pain in the diodes down my left side…." Gray Fox paled.

"Marvin?" A silver robot stepped into view, managing to carry itself as if in extreme pain.

"Yes. For all its miserable worth. That worthless fool Zaphod Beeblebrox left me here for 5, 676, 123, 587, 298, 235, 541 years! I've counted every single one of them! Him and his worthless boozer friends and that kneebiting jerk human being." Marvin shuddered. "I…have been stomping around this dungeon for all that time, waiting for some excuse for a Destined Child! And this…this is what I get! A being whose mind cannot begin to fathom what mine can! Lousy Sirius Cybernetics Corporation! 'Share and Enjoy!'"

Gray Fox shuffled about nervously as the paranoid android continued to rant. The wait wasn't long, however, as just about then Marvin was hit in the back by an extremely disreputable running shoe-shaped starship. A hatch hissed open, and out stepped the perhaps more disreputable Ex-Head Honcho of All Creation. His heads banged together rather confusedly.

"Hey, what gives? Computer, why aren't we at Milliways?"

"Sorry, Zaphod, guy!" a cheery voice came from inside the ship. "Just a little miscalculation with the Infinite Improbability factors!"

"Never trust a machine for anything," Ford Prefect said, emerging from the hatch. "Hey, isn't that Marvin?"

"Hey, yeah, I think so." Zaphod trotted up to the inert android. "Hey, Marvin, kid, what's up?"

"5, 676, 123, 587, 298, 235, 541 years," Marvin hissed, not moving from his facedown position on the floor. "But no…nobody could remember a simple menial robot. A mind that dwarves all biological capacity, but no…."

"Er…yeah. Listen, we're here now, so you wanna come? Excitement and adventure and really wild things?"

"Zark off," Marvin mumbled. Zaphod made a face with one head and turned to other to the increasingly more confused Gray Fox.

"How 'bout you?"

"Nah, I got enough excitement and adventure and really wild things to last me a lifetime," the Agent said. "But maybe I'll take a raincheck."

"Oh, cool. Well, see ya." Zaphod and Ford jogged back into the Heart of Gold, leaving Marvin behind. Gray Fox could hear some vague yelling on the subjects of whelks, tea and Italian bistros, and then the ship was gone as quickly as it had come. The Agent suddenly became of something very, very large half shadowed a ways away. He collected a ball of ki in his hand and lobbed it in the general direction of the half-glimpsed monstrosity. He was not prepared for what he saw, despite his myriad adventures as an Agent.

A gigantic Gear was crouching there, covered with a layer of dust, its eyes dimmed. It was a dark blue/black in tone. A large Evangelion-ish horn protruded from its head. A pair of black wings were folded on its back. Gray Fox cautiously approached it. His Inventory suddenly popped open, and the Anima Twinkie floated out. Before Gray Fox could grab it, it floated into a small hole in the Gear's torso, which closed behind it. Almost instantly, the Gear's eyes flashed to a bright yellow life. It straightened, standing up and moving its wings slightly.

"I am TwinkiEVA Unit 01," it said in a slightly wry voice. "The last one left. Who disturbs me?"

"Oh, me, down here," Gray Fox said. "I'm supposed to be the Destined Child and I have to pilot you." The TwinkiEVA regarded him quizzically, its head high above him.

"You? Pilot? Me? I think not."

"Look, I'm supposed to use you to defeat FUNimation and fulfill whatever role I'm supposed to. Don't ask me, I just work here."

"Nintendeus? He's risen? Spoony it, that really sucks." The TwinkiEVA crouched down again and extended one huge palm. "Here, get on, and if you try to fiddle with any of my instruments I'm spitting you into the NEXT DIMENSION. Oh yeah, hope you have a plug suit handy."

"Um, lemme check." Gray Fox dug into his Inventory and soon came up with a ripped off Eva plug suit. He put the baggy clothing article over his clothes, then pressed a button. The suit instantly contracted. The Agent turned purple and went cross-eyed. "Hoo, I can see why Shinji whined so much." He stepped into the TwinkiEVA's palm and it lifted him and dumped him into a yellow liquid. "Oh, spoony, what is this stuff?!"

"It's LCL," the TwinkiEVA said with a sigh. "You got a beef with my LCL, you come right out and say it." Gray Fox made suffocated noises, and suddenly he was deposited in a rather comfortable control seat.

"Hey, there's no controls. What am I supposed to do?"

"Just tell me what you want me to do," the Gear said with a hint of resentment. "And I might do it."

"And another thing. Since your personality is rather smart-spoonied, I have a name for you. You are now Kusotare."

"What the HFIL does that mean?"

"It doesn't matter. Now, Kusotare, get me out of here. And we have to pick up my friends." Kusotare grumbled audibly, and spread his impressive wings out behind him.

"I'm only doing this because I have to. Why couldn't anybody else be the ultra-powerful secret Gear?" He lifted off the ground, and flew straight through the ceiling with a sudden burst of speed. ROCKSLIDE gaped amidst the falling chunks of metal. "Hey, grab on, you MORONS!" Kusotare yelled at them. Bewildered, ROCKSLIDE grabbed the TwinkiEVA's feet and held on for dear life. The Gear spiralled upward and suddenly shot through a small hole into the outside world.

"Gray!" CAM yelled, his voice carried by the wind. "What the HFIL is this thing?"

"It's my Gear!" Gray Fox yelled over an outboard radio. "All I know is that it's supposed to be the most powerful in the universe and that it's powered by the Anima Twinkie! He's also a smart-arse!"

"Shut-up 'a your mouth!" Kusotare retorted. They sped over the sea and had almost reached Dollet when another large and extremely disreputable starship, the Landale, slammed straight into the ground before them. Kusotare floated to the ground, and ROCKSLIDE stepped off his feet. The Landale's hatched opened, and a shaken Rune came out, followed by Freezer, Lord of the Universe.

"Oh, I see you have a Gear," he smirked. "This will be an interesting test." He suddenly ballooned to a huge size and stamped toward Gray Fox and Kusotare, laughing evilly.

Leaning out from behind Cid's house, Agent Garret saw the fate that had befallen Agent tC. It did not look good. Readying his sword, Agent Garret prepared to go into battle, when he saw a trio of figures sneaking away on the other side of town. The leaders of the AVK. Garret had been deprived of his previously thought out revenge, and this was the perfect time to wreak it. Of course, that would mean leaving Agent tC alone with Jenova... Well, that can quickly enough be changed. He readied his bow, and shot a hole in the net that held Agent tC, dropping him to the ground. He quickly tossed out a flash grenade, and, while everyone was blinded, ran out, and got Agent tC, and threw him into Cid's house through an open window. He didn't notice the large amount of meowing coming from within, though...

Now, with that out of the way, the AVK need to learn how to treat others...

The Agent Pokémon and Mewtwo were paralyzed when Ash discovered that his Dragon Balls were missing. He was quite the bewildered one.

"My Dragon Balls! The bag must've been ripped from that crystal girl's attack."

"YoU iDiOt!!! DoN't JuSt StAnD tHeRe, GeT tHoSe AgEnTs! ThEy'Ll PaY fOr MiStAkInG mY aLlEgIaNcE wItH FUNiMaTiOn," Pikathulu said.

Ash recovered himself a little too late, for he saw right in front of him, Brock and Misty properly equipped with Kevlar vests, bazookas and machine guns while munching on licorice.

"Now's it's time to see who'll be pumped with lead!" Misty exclaimed as she fired some rounds away. Brock did likewise.

"Haha! Sticks and stones may break my bones, and bullets aren't that effective either!" Ash taunted. Fortunately, he was dense enough not to see their true motive for playing War, for several bullets punctured the Pokéjammer, bringing all four Pokémon to their feet.

"Oops..."

"Aoi! Aoi aoi! (Good move! Let's take care of the rest!)"

"Axer axer axe! (About time too!)"

"Phantom! (Why was I affected? I'm etheral.)"

"Now Pikathulu, we four Pokémon are gonna show you what it's like to boogie! Forget the trainer nonsense. Unleash all you have!" Mewtwo said.

"bRiNg It On!"

Phantom disappeared when he had the chance, occurring when Axer took the first move to spray boiling and freezing poison from his snake-like fangs at Pikathulu. Pikathulu merely jumped over it. Aoi actually hit Pikathulu with her glaive tail, puncturing his face with a Squall-like scar.

"Ow! ThAt HuRt! YoU'lL pAy!"

"Aoi aoi aoi! (Hey quit talking in one syllable words, maniac)" Aoi retorted.

Pikathulu struck back at her with several well aimed punches to the solar plexus, rendering her to the ground. He suddenly had the surprise of his life when Phantom Ghost appeared in front of his face and said, "Pikaboo!"

"ArRrRrRgGgGg!!! TaKe ThAt!" He actually managed to shock Phantom. He lay near Aoi and whispered in her ear, "Phantom....(Damn! That's some training he took!)"

Axer and Mewtwo teamed up and tried to take down Pikathulu with different temperature venom and psychic attacks, but both were proven useless. Fortunately, Pikathulu's miniature Hamekameha attack only knocked Axer down near Phantom and Aoi.

Even Brock and Misty tried firing some military goodies at the evil Pikachu, but he deflected them and the missiles exploded on contact with the hapless duo.

Finally, it was down to Mewtwo vs Pikathulu.

"Okay, Pikathulu, they might've not had experience with battling you, but you cannot take me down for all you can try!" Mewtwo barked.

"We'Ll SeE aBoUt ThAt."

Mewtwo took the first strike, punching Pikathulu in the chest, but he counterattacked with a deft kick to where he attacked Aoi, but it didn't bring Mewtwo down. The psychic Pokémon then slammed his fists onto Pikathulu's head, bouncing him back, but it proved futile. Pikathulu tried to Bicycle Kick him MK style, but it missed. Mewtwo shot a violet psychic beam at him and it hit, momentarily disorientating him. Pikathulu gathered himself and tackled Mewtwo.

The other three Pokémon saw that neither was getting the upper hand in this battle as they all munched on popcorn and leftover licorice that the two dead trainers left behind.

"Axer.. (Neither are getting the upper hand)"

Aoi took out the Coin Toss Relic baton with her glaive tail and screwed the top off. The other two Pokémon Agents looked in awe as she pulled out four items: a scroll, a Triple Triad card, a pistol, and some oddly-shaped bullets.

"Phantom? (What's that?)"

They read the scroll together:

Thy blessed Key of Time will be guarded by I, the Holy GF of Life and Health. To summon thee, shoot a holy coin from the Gun of Holiness to the skies directed at the 65th Dimension and shout, "I desire the Holy Powers of thy guardian, Alexander! Shoot your holy rays upon my command!" The Key may also keep my card as a keepsake.

The Pokémon all saw that the Triple Triad card was indeed an Alexander card, and the bullets were flat, round, gold, and very sharp. Holy Coins.

"Aoooooooi (Sweeeeet)" she replied and loaded the Gun of Holiness, cousin to the Holy Hand Grenade. She turned to her left, since she distinctly knew where the 65th Dimension was and shot the coin into the air. Mewtwo and Pikathulu were both startled and they hit their faces onto dirt.

"I desire the Holy Powers of thy guardian, Alexander. Shoot your holy rays upon my command!" the familliar voice of Benit echoed in the air.

"Axer axer axer! (That's Benit all right. Man, I wanna hear her voice again....)"

"WhAt????? ThE kEy To TiMe WaS hErE?" Pikathulu barked. Mewtwo stared at the Carbuncleish Pokémon as it waited patiently for Alexander to arrive, very bewildered that this character was the Key to Time. His intentions were getting closer.

The ground rumbled underneath their feet. Suddenly, the three Pokémon were cascaded high into the air by what appeared to be a giant church-like mecha. Alexander.

"Aoooi! (Yay! I get my own mecha!)" The trio bounded to the control room.

"Good to see you again, Benit, but you look funky. Here, lemme make you three right," Alexander said as the trio suddenly flared white again. This time, they got larger. When the white auras left, all the Agents were back to being human again. Even Aoi was back to being everyone's favourite coin minter, Benit.

"Whoo hoo! I hated those Pokémon forms. Remind me never to meet Pikathulu again," Axer said as Benit bounded into the control chair.

"At least you don't know what it's like to have no voice and become a Pokémon at the same time. Doesn't it suck when you're important to the plot?" Benit reminded him.

The now garagantuan Alexander mecha towered over Mewtwo and Pikathulu.

"SpOoNy It AlL!" Pikathulu ignored Mewtwo and he shocked the giant mecha, that attempt being futile. Benit glared down, Alexander with her.

"Cool! He does the same motions as me. Alex, time to show him what it's like to party!" Benit yelled as Alexander powered up his Holy Judgment attack. Benit aimed the target at Pikathulu.

"FIRE AWAY!" all three Agents yelled. The mecha jerked, sending the male Agents to the ground as the white bazooka rays fired at Pikathulu and Mewtwo.

"Oops! Mewtwo's in the way!"

Fortunately, Mewtwo had the right sense to jump out of the way as Pikathulu tried to shock several rays down, but the rest of them made precise contact, blasting Pikathulu with holy justice! He was down for the count, or what most people will think, since evil never seems to quit.

Mewtwo floated up to the cockpit of Alexander where the three Agents were. He silently approached Benit, the Key to Time, and dared not to bother this incredible plot contriviance as they made way out of the NEXT DIMENSION.

Once the new mecha left the NEXT DIMENSION, they found themselves near Dollet, where another battle was about to take place.

Freezer and Kusotare stood in a DBZesque stare at each other allowing the other characters to converse amongst themselves instead of actually fighting. Agent CAM stood huddled with the rest of ROCKSLIDE.

"Geez," Alys said, "The most powerful being in the universe vs. the most powerful gear in the world. This would be a good fight, but I guess we have to interupt it to avoid lessening the climax of this fanfic."

"Yep," Agent CAM agreed.

"......" D suggested.

"We could use some Gears too," Agent1469 signed.

"I'll call Proffessor Daravon," Agent CAM said and pressed his scouter. "Professor Daravon, send us our Gears, Agent Gray Fox just got his."

"These Gears are coming," Professor Daravon told Agent CAM. Suddenly CAM's Mocha Impact, Alys' Reisingei, D's Apocolypse, Celes' General Type Magitek Armor, Mr. T's GMC 1982 Custom Van, and Agent1469's Magitek Armor arrived. ROCKSLIDE jumped into the cockpit of their respective Gears.

"Hey, I didn't think that our Gears would be finished this fast," Alys said, "Daravon seemed to do a good job too, unless the Gears only use Daravonese commands."

"How did the get here so fast?" Solid Ekans asked.

"Oh, Daravon added some IDF crystal technology to them we ‘borrowed’ from the STA," Agent CAM told Ekans. He got a mean stare. "What? We're all spy agencies here, what do you expect no espionage." Solid Ekans rolled his eyes.

Freezer broke the stare and threw a Kienzan at Kusotare, but Kusotare dodged and punched Freezer in the stomach. The villain grinned, having only taken minimal damage. Suddenly The Wings of a Boy Who Killed Adolesence from Gundam Wing started up as ROCKSLIDE flew in on their Gears. The boosters of ROCKSLIDE's Gears roared to life. Kusotare, Mocha Impact, and the rest of the mechs flew into battle throwing blow after blow. Freezer blocked every one.

"Kienzan!" Freezer cried and hurled the disc of ki at the agents.

"Destructo Disc!" another voice cried, using a voice that sounded like an 80 year old woman who has been smoking all of her life. Another disc clashed with Freezer's sending it off course. Suddenly "Frieza" flew past the gears to fight Freezer. Mocha Impact flew towards the battle, but Kusotare stopped him.

"This fight will probably be very interesting," Agent Gray Fox told CAM, "Let's stay of it."

"Agent CAM!" a voice came over CAM's intercom, "This is the president of Solaris. The Guardian Angel has told me that your friends were sent to the NEXT DIMENSION. My spies tell me that Ash lost his six and Freezer has them. I want you to wish back your friends."

"Mission…," Agent CAM started, "…accepted."

Despite Agent Gray Fox's earlier protests, he flew towards the battle. Mocha Impact positioned behind Freezer and ejected CAM. Agent CAM flew past Freezer in his ejection seat and snatched the rest of the Dragon Balls of the belt around Freezer's pair of Future Trunks. Agent CAM flew off towards the horizon at top speeds and Freezer tried to follow but Freiza cut him off. Freezer blasted Freiza with an energy dan, and Freiza dodged and fired a "destructo disc". Freezer countered with a Kienzan. The two were locked in a duel of disc this would be the deciding factor towards who would win subbed or dubbed. The Kienzan easily defeated the "destructo disc" and sliced Frieza in half.

"Tis only a flesh wound," Freiza said and fired an energy dan at Freezer. Freezer simply blocked it with a kick, and then pulled his hands from behind his back. At the end of every finger, there was a small ball of energy. Freezer smiled and pointed his hands at Freiza, and released them. The ball quickly grew to an enormous size and blasted Freiza into many OTHER DIMENSIONS, since Freezer didn't want to take the chance of dub King Kold or dub Cooler to get the body and revive the English-speaking atrocity.

"That was fast," Agent Gray Fox remarked, "Now if only season three took only that long."

Freezer blasted in the direction that Agent CAM flew. Kusostare and ROCKSLIDE fired up their boosters and followed. Solid Ekans climbed into Mocha Impact and flew towards its master.

Agent CAM's ejection seat crash-landed near Dollet. Agent CAM quickly threw down all seven RockeT CanyoN Dragon Balls. "Shenlon! I call upon you! Serve your master!" CAM looked puzzle and wondered where that came from. Suddenly the sky darkened and lightning flashed and Shenlon filled the skies. "What is your wish?"

"I wish that those sent to the NEXT DIMENSION in the battle near the Lunar Cry be brought back to life!" Agent CAM cried.

"It is done," Shenlon told Agent CAM with glaring red eyes. Suddenly in a flash light Ash Ketchum, Brock, Misty, Team Rocket, and evil Trainer tC appeared.

"Hey guys, you’re back!" Agent CAM greeted, "What a second? You’re the agents, your imposters!"

"What is your second wish?" Shenlon asked CAM.

"Huh!? I get three wishes?" Agent CAM asked puzzled.

"I wish Pikacthulu, Zio, and Tao Pika Pika would be brought back to life!" Ash Ketchum screamed. Suddenly Tao Pika Pika, Pikacthulu, and Zio appeared in a flash of light.

"Feel my wrath, Pikacthulu!" evil Trainer the Captain cried and thrust his Rapier at Pikacthulu.

Pikacthulu punched him in the stomach and rendered him unconcious. "i WaS nOt UsInG mY fUlL pOwEr In ThE lAsT fIgHt."

Brock and Misty fell to their knees. "Forgive us Pikacthulu!"

Pikacthulu raised his hands and karate chopped them to the neck. Brock and Misty fell to the ground with their necks bent in unnatural positions. "yOu ArE fOrGiVeN."

"Want is your third wish?" Shenlon asked.

Before anyone could make a wish a voice boomed from above,"I wish that my bar tab with Gray Fox were settled!" Everyone looked up to see Alys standing upon her gear holding one of Cait Sith's megaphones.

"It is beyonds my power," Shenlon told her, "Do you have another wish?"

"i WiSh To Be ImMoRtAl!" Pikacthulu told Shenlon.

"It shall be do-" Shenlon started.

"No!" CAM interupted and fire a ki blast vaporizing the four star ball. Shenlon vanished and Pikacthulu's wish was not granted. Agent CAM fell to the ground holding his sides. Agent CAM cried in pain as he transformed into Hi-C.

Hi-C floated over the battlefield and noticed evil Trainer tC. "You’re the one that caused the destruction of my body! If it wasn't for you being the real Contact, Jenova would not have felt the need to destroy me. I will destroy you!" Hi-C did not know of the different Captains and proceded to blast him into the NEXT DIMENSION with a ki blast.

Freezer arrived on the scene followed by the rest of ROCKSLIDE in their gears. Hi-C went for the most powerful, Freezer. Freezer and Hi-C began to exchange punches. The Super Kouhi-jin finally broke through his defense and landed a punch. Freezer was winded, but Hi-C had not even broken a sweat. Freezer fired his finger blasts into Hi-C and they had simply no effect. Freezer then formed a Death Ball and threw it at Hi-C. Hi-C simply caught the death ball and hurled it right back. The ball of energy crashed into Freezer. He fell to the ground, badly bruised and covered in blood.

Freezer slowly brought himself to his feet, still with a smile on his face. "Well, you are quite an opponent. I am rather impressed… there are very few I have to use full power against. You shall have the honor of being beaten by a fully-powered Freezer." Freezer bowed and began to reach his full power. Freezer's muscles increased ten-fold. The rocks for miles around lifted off the ground and exploded. No one could do anything but watch. "I'll show you that I'm the most poweful being in the universe!"

"I'm the destined ruler of this universe!" Hi-C yelled back. Freezer charged and landed a punch before Hi-C could even defend himself. Freezer then used an uppercut, followed by a roundhouse. Before Hi-C could finish wiping the blood from his face, he was pummeled by a barrage of more blows. The false Contact staggered back from the blows, and coughed up blood. Then Freezer fired his finger blasts and nearly impaled Hi-C with them. With three gaping holes in his abdomen, Hi-C fell to the ground with a smile on his face.

"Now you have the honor of being my newest host." An ethereal form of Hi-C jumped out of his body and into Freezer's. Freezer cried in pain as his body warped into one that looks just like Hi-C's. Hi-C's former body fell to the ground, badly beaten.

"Geez, I just...released the ultimate evil," Agent CAM remarked, and ate his only restorative senzu bean, "I'd feel really bad with mental anguish and stuff if this wasn't a comedic fanfic."

"Ha! With the binding of the four star Dragon Ball that your grandfather used," Hi-C told Agent CAM, "I can take any body I please!"

"All right," Ekans said, "The time for stealth has passed. Let's kick (pidgey)!" The agent produced a blue rose seemingly out of thin air and he plunged the stem into a hole in a small machine strapped to his belt. An energy field quickly expanded out from the box, engulfing the figure. Within the field, blue strips of energy quickly shot out around the glowing image of the agent, before pulsing white and shattering off, leaving behind something resembling the uniform of the Dark Generals/4 kings of the first Sailor Moon season. E. D. BrandonTCA's characteristic shoulderpad and boots seemed to phase in in a flash of light half a second later, followed by the strap leading to his bottomless RPG inventory bag. A more technologically based telelportation occured as his grapling hook device beamed down onto his right arm, folloed by La-Cell Nova warping himself to the left. The DX Scouter appeared on the face of the STA team member, and he reached up and extended his beam sword weapon before striking a pose for no good reason.

"I thought there was something funny about your power level," Gray Fox observed, "Back in the dungeon you where obviously pushing it down, but I couldn't figure out why it never rose with ours when enemies got near. It's sealed when you aren't in that outfit, isn't it?"

"Something like that," Brandon said, "When I'm doing the Solid Ekans thing, my focus is on not being detected, I can't have too obvious a power reading, but you're right that I can't go in full-power without leveling up to E. D. BrandonTCA."

"Why'd you keep it a secret in the earlier missions?" the Agent inquired, "It's not like either of these is your secret identity or anything?"

"I wasn't worried about you guys finding out," Brandon said, "Let's just say that Brandon 'TCA' has a lot of enemies that I'd rather not have following us around...but it's not like anything can get worse at this point."

"Good point."

"All right," Brandon activated his IDF comunicator, "Kera, get the STEVA-02 out here and fast!"

The comunicator crackled and then blurted out, "A HUGE BATTLESHIP: QUEEN FOSSIL IS APPROACHING FAST! PAY ATTENTION TO BACKWARDS!"

"Carp!" Brandon said, "The FUNimation guys are giving off too much mistranslated interference, I can't reach back to base...hold on, it seems like I've got a call from and adjacent dimension...this ought to come through."

A few seconds later the TCA guy spoké up again, "Hey guys, I'll be right back...guys?"

With the rest of the agents locked in battle with several would-be destroyers of just about everything. Brandon shrugged and vanished in an IDF-jump.

Even the Agents gears where little match for the huge Ki blasts hurled by the re-bodied Hi-C. After repeling several of the mecha sent in by ROCKSLIDE, Hi-C turned and fired a blast towards Gray's Kusostare, engulfing it in a huge cloud of smoke. Satisfied, Hi-C turned to deal with his next opponent when the TwinkEVA unit came charging through the haze unscathed, and it quickly shot out it's arm to gasp Hi-C.

"What the HFIL kind of Gear-"

"-is that?" Brandon said, staring at the machine which the Shin-Ra team had constructed from mis-matched references.

"We're not certian ourselves," Rufus said, "But we don't have a use for it, and it seems to have some kind of connection to interdimensional stuff, and it'd be useful in those stealth missions."

"You're very fortunate," Hojo said, "until today, it couldn't even move. It seems some power has awakened in an alternate dimension that it's drawing strenght from. It turns out that we didn't even realize that the device we had installed was the main generator. That part wasn't actually designed by us or even based on references, we got it from a dig site at the 'eTOS' going out of buisiness sale."

"Well," Brandon said, "I'm not used to the design, but right now I'll take anything I can get. Refs are good. Refs are the job."

It seemed like Kusotare had finally gotten the upper hand against the previously thought unbeatable strenght of Hi-C, when suddenly another mechanized fist flew into the fray, striking the TwinkEVA unit, causing him to lose his grip on the mighty warrior.

"OnE wAy Or AnOtHeR...eViL wIlL wIn!" Pikacthulhu cried out.

The 'camera' of the fanfic zoomed in three times as it focused on Pikacthulhu's massive gear, Fünfundzwanzig.

The huge mech swung around it's electron cannon and it prepared to open fire on the agents.

"hAhAhAhAhAhA!" Pikacthulhu laughed, "Victoly is mine!"

The air in front of Fünfundzwanzig blurred for a second, and then half of the weapon severed and fell to the ground.

"wHaT ThE hFiL??" Pikacthulhu checked the sensors of the gear, then the visual display, before he finally saw some ripples in the air not far away, "sTeAlTh CamOfLaGuE??"

"That's right, evil-boy," the all-to familiar voice rang out.

The ripples in the air faded in to reveal a large mecha-sized mini-lop bunny holding an enlarged progressive knife.

"FoOoOoOlS!" Pikacthulhu shouted, firing off a huge beam from the chest of his gear at the mecha-lop, "DiE!"

The bunny-gear poinged up and out of the way, extending the enlarged prog-knife in a resounding *ka-klick* before dropping towards Fünfundzwanzig, which contined to blast away at the mecha-lop.

"wHaT tHe..." Pikacthulhu said, ThIs ArMoRiNg...It'S aS sTroNG aS a- GRRR-BAAAH!" The Fünfundzwanzig fired it's thrusters to dodge the falling bunny.

"Now let's really take this mug for a ride!" Brandon said, throwing a few levers inside the Gear. The gray and white spotted shell of the blatant Sluggy reference broke appart in several segments, with the many pieces assembling into a pair of wings and a large shield, the remainder splintered off and formed into armor pieces around the machine inside the rabbit shell. The Gear then stood upright as a humanoid battle machine and it's torso revolved 180 degrees as for the first time, the agents caught a glimse of Bunbun-Wing.

"Can you do anything without encorporating multiple wacky refs?" Gray said.

"Probably not," Brandon responded, as the Bunbun-Wing deployed it's buster rifle towards Fünfundzwanzig. Energy swriled around the barrel of the mobile suit-like gear and it was about to fire when a massive counterstrike energy dan from Hi-C overtook the Gears.

"Carp!" Brandon said, lifting the gear's shield to try and ward off the majority of the shots, "We've got too freaking many evil entites around here."

"I'm not enjoying myself," Kusotare whined. The TwinkiEVA unit was currently batting away energy shots from himself with his wings.

"Nobody asked you if you were," Gray Fox said, sweat running down his face. He keyed his sub-etha radio.

"Ekans! CAM! Group up with me!" He switched the radio to the frequencies of ROCKSLIDE's Gears. "Cover us! Spoony omega Twinkie tofu!" The radio cut off. Bunbun-Wing and Mocha Impact ran up behind Kusotare, who launched himself into the air with a powerful beat of his wings.

"Gray!" Ekans shouted over the etha. "Spoony bad bad references evil much being used fight-I mean, they're using a lot of references!"

"dEaTh To AlL aGeNtS!!" Fünfundzwanzig wrists opened up, and a brace of cannons slid out. "pIkAcThUlU sPoOnY dEsTrUcTiOn To AlL tAt ArE aGeNtS bRiNgInG tO fRoM!"

"What?" CAM asked.

"cRiPeS! tHaT sPoOnY aGeNt HaS mE tAlKiNg LiKe ThAt ToO!"

There is -another-.

"-What- do -you- mean?" Krelian suddenly stepped into the floating orb room at Solaris' core. The Gazel Ministry regarded him cautiously.

"Much is -afoot-," he said.

What does a -foot- have to do with -this-?

"No, you -fool-. The -Contact-, the -Key of Time-, the -IDF Mage- and the -Destined- have all -awakened-, the -Destined- only today. The -Power- has separated from his former -entity-," Krelian explained.

Grave -news- indeed. Has the -Destined- discovered the -TwinkiEVA- and the -Anima Twinkie-?

"Yes," the scientist said. "Its -power- is unmatched!"

What -MORON- let -Hostess- build it?

They used a -Somebody Else's Problem- field. -We- could do -nothing- to discover the -project-.

What of the -Key- and the -IDF-?

"-Both- have procured -Gears-. The -IDF- is currently battling against -the Power- and -Pikacthulu-. -He- is fighting with the -Destined- and -the Power's- former -host-."

Can the -Pokémon- be trusted with the -job-?

"No. He has his own -agenda-," Krelian said.

Very well. What of the -Contact-?

"He has been -kidnapped- again. But, along with -Unit 01-, -Hostess- built a prototype model of a -TwinkiEVA-, -Unit 00-. It was discarded, but it is on a par with -Unit 01-. To revive our master -Nintendeus-, the -Contact- must use -Unit 00-."

What -obstacles- stand in our -way-?

"The -Key of Time-, the -IDF- and the -Destined-. The -Power-, while no longer part of the -Agents-, can also cause -trouble-. They must be -eliminated-. I will assign -Vance- and -Renk-," the mad scientist plotted.

-Digimon-, digital -monsters-!

"What are you -talking- about?"

001111! one of the Gazel spat in binary.

01111110000!!

01100101000!!!

0111 1001!

hi i like cheez

Not -again-.

"dIe!!" Fünfundzwanzig fired its cannons from both arms. The blasts slammed into Mocha Impact, Kusotare and Bunbun-Wing. Kusotare quickly sprang back to his feet.

"dArN iT! wHy Do YoU kEeP gEtTiNg BaCk uP?!" Bunbun-Wing and Mocha Impact also got back on their feet. Fünfundzwanzig's chest opened, revealing two missle ports.

"Guys! Use our weapons!" Gray Fox said over the sub-etha. "Kusotare, G-Contrivance Blade!"

"Bunbun-Wing, G-Bright Spoon!"

"Mocha Impact, G-Coffee Mug!" There was a ominous flash of light. Kusotare formed the Gear-sized blade in his hand, and grasped it tightly. The Bright Spoon flared to life in Bunbun-Wing. Mocha Impact took out a coffee mug and slammed it down.

"Oops," CAM said. "Wrong button." His Gear took out a G-Whip, Brigandier/Andvari ripoffs be damned.

"pIkAcHu WiNg!!" Pikacthulu yelled. Twin yellow, cute missles shot out of Fünfundzwanzig's chest.

"Pika pika!" they said in eerie unison as they barrelled towards the Agent's Gears."

"Kouhihameha!" Mocha Impact cupped its hands and shot a scalding stream of coffee at the first Pika missile. It turned around and flew off screaming, filing a lawsuit against McDonalds as it went.

"Supaa Bright Spoon Powaa!" Bunbun-Wing hit the other missile off course with a concentrated blast of Bright Spoon Powaa.

"Contrivance Slash!" Kusotare stuck out the G-Contrivance blade before him and twirled it impressively. Just before he could begin his rush against Pikacthulu, Hi-C slammed him from behind. The TwinkiEVA fell to its knees, the sword sinking into the ground.

"Ack, Fox! Bigu Random Contrivance Attack!" Ekans' Gear thrust both its hands before it and exploded into Alhazad-Wing. "In Memory of Cosmo Canyon! You're going down, Hi-C! WACKY MST!" A stream of power shot from the Gear's hands, and Hi-C was instantly teleported to the Satellite of Love, ending the threat for the time being.

"The Satellite of L-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ove!" CAM sang. Alhazad-Wing did a goofy victory pose as Kusotare got to his feet.

"dOn'T fOrGeT aBoUt Me!" Pikacthulu yelled.

"Oh, don't worry, we haven't!" Gray Fox sang out. The TwinkiEVA drew the G-Contrivance Blade high into the air, its tip gleaming. "BoF Reference, HA!" Kusotare thundered. He slammed the blade into the ground.

"hA hA hA! FOoL gEaR! YOu CaNnOt DeFeAt mE tHaT wAy!"

"But I can…this way!" A single tree root wrapped itself around Fünfundzwanzig's leg.

"hUh?!" More and more roots sprang from the ground, completely immobilizing the evil Gear. Soon, a tree was growing right through its torso, leafy branches sprouting from its trunk at regular intervals.

"Cool, the Yggdrasil," CAM said. Shortly, Fünfundzwanzig was near unrecognizable.

"nO!" Pikacthulu cried. "tHiS iSn'T fAiR!"

"Guys," Gray Fox said, "I think this is a good time to skedaddle."

"Good call," Ekans said. "But where to?"

"Yeah, and what about Pikacthulu and Hi-C?" CAM asked.

"Well…plot contrivances deem that they must return at least once more. Then we can kick spoony. And I don't care where we go, as long as it's away. Maybe we should go find Benit and the gang."

"Sounds good," Solid Ekans agreed. Kusotare took flight, and Alhazad-Wing and Mocha Impact rocketed after it, hovering slightly above ground level. ROCKSLIDE, who'd had a surprisingly small role in the fight, followed. In Fünfundzwanzig, Pikacthulu was howling mad.

Meanwhile, Vance and Renk quietly left Solaris under Krelian's orders. They stepped into a cheesy Brave Fencer Musashi portal and teleported to the FFVIII world. Unfortunately, due to a miscalculation, they landed on the Island Closest to Heaven. Almost immediately super-tough monsters loomed around them.

"I'm -scared-, -Vance-. Hold -me-."

"-Mommy-."

Shortly after Agent Axer, Trainer Phantom Ghost, the newly restored Agent Benit with her new Gear Alexander and Mewtwo arrived in Dollet, the group had a chance to acctualy take in Alexander's true size.

"Wow," Agent Axer said.

"I'll second that Axer." Trainer Phantom Ghost agreed.

"COOL! I had no idea that you were so big, Alexander!" Benit said, delighted.

"Hey, I'll bet he's big enough to hold several Gears inside. He's certainly big enough to carry all of us inside," Axer pointed out.

"Ya know, I think you may be right, Axer. How about it, Alexander? Do you think we could get a tour?" Benit asked her massive Gear.

"Of course," came the surprisingly soft reply from a speaker near where the Agents were standing. Nearby, a door wooshed open. "Right through here."

Following the large Gear’s command, the Agents filed though. Even Mewtwo came along, although more likely than not for his own purposes. As they came through the doorway, they found themselves in what could’ve passed as a large Gear hangar. Catwalks hung about midway up the room, with stairs leading up to them from the ground level. An elevator was on the far side of the massive room.

"Please head to the elevator and take it to the lookout level. It'll be more comfortable to converse there."

"Thanks, Alexander. We'll do that," Benit said.

"You guys go ahead. I'd like to take in this room some more," Phantom said.

"OK, Phantom. See you in a few," Axer said.

With that, the other three made theie way over to the elevator, leaving Phantom to wander around the large room by himself.

Phantom had started to get an odd feeling the minute Alexander had shown up. He couldn't place what it was, it was just... weird. It kept getting stronger as he hung around the inside of Alexander more. Finally, he made his way over to a particular spot in the room. For some reason, he felt that he should be here. Acting on instinct alone, he took out his Pokéball -- the one that had contained his form when he had awoken in the 64th Dimension. For some reason, he felt that he should use it, as if it contained a Pokémon. So he did. When he did, a large shape took form.

When it was fully resolved, it tuned out to be a Gear. It looked much like Trowa's HeavyArms Gundam, except this gear was gray and black in color, except for what could be mistaken as a large red hat on top. Its left hand held a medium sized (for a Gear) shield and its right hand looked like it was covered in a large fingerless glove. Needless to say, this stunned Phantom just a little bit. His surprise was reverie as a hologram was projected from the Pokéball that had returned to his hand. The image looked like the "Trainer" that had captured him in the 64th dimension.

"Greetings, Phantom. You may be wondering why this PokéArms was in that Pokéball. Well, to be blunt, it was the only way I could get it to you. It was programmed to release only after Agent Gray Fox got his Gear. Anyway, to keep this short, this is your Gear. It would help if you used the gloves inside the cockpit to control it. You can also them as weapons. Now get in."

The three remaining members of the Amish Vomit Keg looked absolutely shocked when they found themselves tied to a pole a short distance away from Rocket Town.

"W-What? How did this happen?" stammered Doctor Mayhem. His cohorts had no answer. One moment, they had been sneaking off to safety, the next, they were bound to a stake.

A voice came to them out of the dark shadows behind a nearby outcropping of rocks, "You don't recognise your own tactic? This is a plot contrivance. I should know. You were the one who showed me how they work..." The person who owned the voice stepped out of the shadows, and presented himself to the nefarious trio.

"It's Agent Thin Man!"shouted Evil Agent NC81.

"Not anymore! When you left me for dead, I vowed to repay such kindness. I became... Agent Garret!" He lifted his index finger to his lips, and smirked.

Doctor Mayhem was aghast. "NO! That's all WRONG!!! It's and Evil PINKY Smirk, not an Evil INDEX FINGER Smirk! That has NO style to it whatsoever! I mean, really! I take you under my wing, teach you about the joys of being evil, and just look at how you repay me! An Evil Index Finger Smirk! Really!" Doctor Mayhem then proceeded to put on his pouty face. NC81 just shook her head, and Proffessor Flint seemed oblivious to everything that was going on around him.

"Now, I will commence the unneccesarily long torture sequence, followed by the squelching of any last minute remorse, and then your demise." said Garret. "Do you have anything to say?"

A bright idea came to Doctor Mayhem. "What would you say, if I gave you a Gear as restitution?" He attempted to perform the Evil Pinky Smirk, but failed, due to his arm being tied at his side. NC81 seemed intrigued with this idea, while Flint tried to figure out what restitution meant.

"Tell me where, and we'll see."

"Well, it's actually about 20 feet behind you. It's a Stealth Model. You seem to like those things now..."

"How did you know you'd need it here?" asked Garret.

"I didn't. Plot Contrivances can be messy things at times..."

"Well, then, instead of the unneccesarily long torture sequence, followed by the squelching of any last minute remorse, and then your demise, I will simply place you in one of your own Easily Escapable Traps. That seems fair enough."

So, Agent Garret put the AVK in their own Hideously Slow Crushing Mechanism, which they propmtly disabled, because they built it, and know how it works. Garret then spent the rest of the day trying to find the Stealth Gear. It took a while, but he found it.

Axer, Benit, and Mewtwo took the elevator up to what appeared to be a dock, overlooking the mountains, Dollet, Galbadia, and could even see little of the Centra Continent. Benit looked down, and made a small realization...

"Uhh....Axer, remember when Eve's mansion dwarfed Cid's house by the size of it with a shadow?" Benit asked him.

"Yeah."

"I think we're doing the same to Dollet with Alexander...."

"Huh?" He then looked down, and issued a loud "WHOA!" from his lips. They were about hundreds of feet off the air, which cast a huge shadow from the setting sun over Dollet and the general area. Benit took her binoculars and looked at Dollet, where she saw some people protesting at the gargantuan GF to leave.

"How....big...are you, Alex?" Benit asked.

"About the size of Esthar and the height of three Eiffel Towers."

It was a rather odd procession that moved along the Galbadian peninsula toward Dollet. ROCKSLIDE's Gears formed a rear half circle around Mocha Impact, Bunbun-Wing and Kusotare, who had taken to the ground after complaining that his wings were sore.

"Where could Benit be?" Gray Fox mused into the radio. "I'm pretty sure she's on the FFVIII world."

"I don't think she could be too far," Ekans replied. "It's not like the world's so big. I mean, HFIL, it's an RPG planet." The Gears trudged onward in the darkening sky. Suddenly, Mocha Impact stopped short.

"What's going on, CAM?" Gray Fox asked.

"Guh…guh…what the HFIL…," CAM stammered. Gray Fox and Solid Ekans soon saw the source of their friend's bewilderment.

"Oh my spoony-"

"-what the HFIL-"

"-is that?!"

"Benit," Alexander said quietly, "there's a good-sized group of unidentified Gears somewhere near here."

"Huh?" Benit, Axer and Phantom said simultaneously. The three Agents and Mewtwo lounged about the cockpit, raiding the fridge occasionally.

"Well," the massive Gear continued, "there are three Gears in the front and six in the back. The fore Gear has incredible spoonimus power, and the other two leads are also really strong."

"I don't want to get into a battle!" Axer whined. "I'm not done with my tea! And I don't fight until I'm done with my tea!" He stirred his beverage indignantly.

"I'll go check it out!" Phantom said exuberantly. "This is tat is perfect to test Gear learned abilities! This job was a gift from Kami-sama!" He disappeared into the elevator for the Gear hangar, leaving two confused Agents, one bored Pokémon and a half-drunk Jolt Cola.

Launchers primed.

Unknown Gear unit.

LAUNCH SEQUENCE BEGIN…

Gear…confirmed. 'PokéArms' ready.

Pilot…confirmed. 'Phantom Ghost' ready.

LAUNCH GEAR!

PokéArms shot out of one of Alexander's many Gear launch tubes, extended its arms and legs, and landed gently, as Gear landings go. In the cockpit, Phantom Ghost was familiarizing himself with the controls.

"Okay…red means stop…greens mean go…blue means spoony-fast turbo mode…." Phantom Ghost, of course, pressed blue. The Gear shot forward.

"Wow!" a random person said. "Moving tat by PokéArms is moving tat is spoonyva fast!" PokéArms' radar suddenly flashed.

"This has to be them," Phantom said, and drew the Gear to a stop. A readout began scrolling down a monitor to his left.

'Gear count: One TwinkiEVA, one Shinra Labs, six Daravon models and one Fender Custom Shop.' The readout stopped and the Agent pursed his lips. He switched on the sub-etha transmitter.

"This is Gear PokéArms. Please identify yourselves, or you will be spoonied." The radio crackled.

"Phantom?!" a familiar voice came back.

"Huh? Fox? How the HFIL did you get here? And who's with you?"

"We came from the Island Closest to Hell. And…let's see, that's Ekans…and that's CAM…and that's…Jimi, Mr. T, Alys, D, Celes and Agent 1469."

"Yeah, we got Gears!" CAM said excitedly. "They're all super-cool!" Mocha Impact consumed a G-Twinkie.

"How'd you get here, Phantom?" Ekans asked. "And what the HFIL is that huge thing over the horizon?"

"Well, Mr. TCA guy, they're kind of related," Phantom said. "That huge thing is Alexander, Benit's Gear."

"A-Alexander?"

"Oh yeah! The thing is spoony huge! Not only can it hold all of our Gears, but it has big cabins and a cocktail bar and those cool mini-refrigerators in our rooms!"

"Sweeeeeet," Gray Fox said.

"Hey, what're we waiting for?!" CAM asked.

"They're approaching, Benit."

"Cool, Alex. See if you can pick up their messages," Benit said. Alexander obliged, and the sub-etha snapped to life.

"-and, for some weird reason, I turned into a dragon!"

"Spoony!"

"Oh yeah? You should see my Gear in a fight! Random reference transformations!"

"I have the power of coffee, though!"

"I still have the last TwinkiEVA-"

Benit turned off the radio.

"Sounds like Gray, CAM, Ekans and Phantom are being guys," she said, faintly amused.

"I can bring up the visual on the big screen," Alexander said.

"Alright, big screen TV!" Axer said, around a mouthful of jam (yes, THE jam) and crackers. The large overhead screen flickered on, revealing a sizable group of Gears. PokéArms led the group, and a winged deep blue Gear walked slightly to the left. A gray Gear with an impressive cannon on its chest and some sharp-looking implements walked to the left. Another Gear with a Twinkie and coffee mug emblazoned on its arm was directly behind. Six other Gears/Magitek armors/GMC vans were arrayed around the lead group.

"Those fore three are cool," Benit said. "I'll bet Ekans is in the big gray-ish one, CAM is in the Twinkie one and Fox's in the blue one. The other ones are probably ROCKSLIDE."

"They're here," Alexander said. "Should I let them in?"

"Um, hold on." Benit turned on the radio. "Phantom, since they're with you, I'm assuming they're friends."

"Oh yeah, it's Fox and CAM and Ekans and ROCKSLIDE," the Agent replied.

"Cool. The Gear elevators are in the legs. Fire 'em up, Alex."

"Benit says the Gear elevators are in Alexander's legs," Phantom said. There was no response from the others. They were looking up at the towering Gear. Its legs dwarfed even the largest of their Gears, and the cockpit was barely visible high above.

"That is one HFILuva big Gear," Ekans breathed. He shook his head and moved his Gear forward to one of the many Gear elevators. The other Agents followed suit. Soon they had all stepped in, and the elevators shot upward in a dizzying spell of motion.

Separate pilot plug from Gear…complete.

Funnel pilot plugs to plug room…complete.

Transport Agent Gears to main hangar…complete.

Transport ROCKSLIDE Gears to secondary hangar…complete.

"What a ride," Gray Fox said. "Totally spoony."

"Yeah," Jimi said. "Far out." The group had ended up in a circular room full of plug chutes to the Gear hangars. An elevator stood by.

"I think we take that to the bridge," Phantom said. "Boy, have we got some stories to tell."

"Oh yeah, us too," CAM said. Everyone piled into the elevator, ignoring the 'Maximum Capacity 5 Persons' sign, and soon enough they were on the bridge.

"Hi, Benit! Axer!" CAM said. "Long time no see! I like the digs."

"Oh, hi, guys," Benit said, looking up from Alexander's controls. "Welcome to my Gear."

"Looks pretty high class. How'd you end up with a GF for your Gear?" Gray Fox asked.

"Well, being a GF myself has its advantages," Benit said with a vaguely satisfied look.

"Hoo, has a lot happened to us," Ekans said. "Much stories tat telling you must be we." Benit blinked as she tried to unscramble the jumble of Daravonese.

"Oh. Mebbe we should put that off until tomorrow, 'cuz it's getting late. You all have rooms, of course." There was a rumble of agreement from ROCKSLIDE et al, and they disappeared into the huge Gear's corridors.

ALRIGHT!" Gray Fox's yell echoed through the cabin section of Alexander. "My room's got a stereo!" His music kept everyone up.

Mewtwo remained in the cockpit away from Gray's horrid music that kept everyone up. Benit voted for the same thing, but she wasn't aware of him being there because she was too absorbed in a fighting game. Alexander and the other gears were probably resting themselves.

Mewtwo had a problem now: his mission to bring down Pikathulu was supposedly over and he found the Key of Time, which was Benit. Is she aware of it herself? She should've figured it out when she called that command out, he thought.

Mewtwo, at first, was going to take her away to safety from the Mothers (except his own) who were trying to gather the Key, Power, and Contact for Time Kompression. If the Key wasn't there, then nothing would work. Unfortunately, now he knew that Benit controlled the largest Gear that housed the other ones, and probably more in the future. If he took her away now, after her friends finding her once again, then she couldn't give orders to Alexander and.....the Agents wouldn't stand a chance against the enemy, which also had Gears.

Benit wasn't even safe in the open now, but she was crucial to Gear battles. Safety, or battle? That was Mewtwo's inner conflict. He had to make a decision in the morning when everyone was telling their sides of the story. Mewtwo stared at Benit, her face illuminated by the screen as punches, kicks, taunts, and supers were being exchanged vividly.

Right now, even though he was evil in the Pokémon movie, he had to keep an eye on her safety. Mew would keep an eye on the Contact. He wondered how his mother and the girl sent away in the Pokéball were doing.

"Gold Rush!" the screen exclaimed.

"PhilosoBS!" another voice from the screen yelled.

Trainer Phantom Ghost tried to get some sleep, but with Jimi and Fox rockin' up a storm it was quite difficult. Giving up on sleep Phantom decided to do something constructive.

Getting up, Phantom made his way to the Gear hanger and, of course, his gear. Once in it he pulled out the instruction manual. He realized that it was against his very nature to actually be reading and instruction manual. Even under the most refined tortures most men would not admit to having ever read an instruction manual. It simply wasn’t done. But here Phantom was reading away. He was fortunate that no one else was up, or he’d have some serious explaining to do.

“Let’s see,” Phantom said mostly to himself, “It says ‘Congratulations on your purchase of the PokéArms Gear.’ I think I can skip a bit. Let’s see… ah! Armaments.”

“Hmmm… It says that there’s a gattling gun that’s supposed to be on the arm. ‘To unlock it: Place the pokéball it came in, in the front pokéball slot.’ I guess that means this.” Phantom said looking at a round depression at the front of the cockpit. So he took out the G-pokéball and put it in place. When he did the sound of a large gun being attached to the gear was heard. Looking at his readout he noticed that a large gattling gun had indeed been added to the left hand. Turning back to the manual he read up on it.

“This weapon is known as the ‘Grimer gun’. How witty. Let’s see… it shoots out high-speed, highly toxic sludge that can eat through a large titanium door in little under 10 seconds. Much slower on tougher metals like Adamantine. Nice. Well what else is there. The chest plates open up to large guns that shoot Voltorbs. Interesting. Missile launchers on the shoulders and my choice of Electode missiles or Muk Missiles. The Electrode missiles explode on contact and cause heavy damage and the Muk Missiles eat away at whatever it detonates on.”

At this point Phantom stopped to absorb this new knowledge. Checking the various switches at his disposal he quickly figured out how to activate the missile launcher and the chest gun. Once he had it down to his satisfaction he continued reading and musing out loud.

“Hmm… now this is very interesting. Let’s see… ‘Place your pokéballs in the six slots located on either side of the hand controls.’ Must be these.” Phantom mumbled. Taking his pokéballs he did as the manual said. Four large clicks were heard and Phantom noticed something different. Looking at an external camera display, he directed it to his gear’s midsection. Four gear sized pokéballs were now at its waist. “Kick spoony!” Phantom said “Now let’s see, to release them I just need to call out the pokémon I want released. Just like I always do. OK, let’s try it. Gengar! Go!”

As he did Gengar came out from the large pokéball on his gear. However Gengar was a tad different from normal. First of all it had a visor over its eyes, a radio in its ear and a microphone by it’s mouth. It also had small lasers in its hands. Needless to say Phantom was a bit confused, so he read on.

“When using Pokémon from PokéArms, they are equipped to transmit what they see and hear back to the gear. They also gain a small radio for receiving commands. Additionally they gain armaments to help in gear battles. The larger the pokémon, the larger the firearms. For example, a small pokémon like Bulbasaur would get a few lasers, but a large pokémon like Onix would gain larger lasers and missile launchers. If a gear sized pokémon were to be found, the armaments put on it would be equal to that of a gear. These are temporary additions and go away once the pokéballs are removed from PokéArms or when PokéArms powers down. To return the pokémon simply give the return command to the pokémon via its radio.”

Phantom Ghost was quite excited by this news. He knew that Yuffiesaurus Rex was just about gear size, so using it with the PokéArms it could help out quite a bit. Phantom experimented with Gengar a bit, exploring the possibilities of its new equipment. He looked in the observation deck where the newly restored Benit was out on the floor. It looked like she had fallen asleep playing something, but whatever it was it was off now. Also Mewtwo was in the room, staring off distantly as if in deep thought. He called Gengar back and looked through the rest of the manual briefly. He saw that he could plug in his pokédex and use that information to enhance some of the PokéArms weapons, such as the missiles.

Deciding that he had enough information, plus having deduced that Gray had finally fallen asleep, and taken the volume of his music with him, Phantom went back to his room to get what sleep he could. He had a feeling that tomorrow was going to be a long day.

In the middle of the night, something alerted Alexander. One by one his systems came back online. And then, abruptly, warning klaxons began to blare.

"Alert, alert! This is Alexander. All Agents please come to the bridge. Repeat, all Agents please come to the bridge." Soon enough, the groggy Agents were stumbling into the bridge via the elevator.

"What's going on?" Axer asked irritably. Nobody had gotten much sleep that night.

"There are two Gears out there," Alexander said carefully. "They're odd though, because I'm getting both a mechanical reading and a biological reading. My only guess is that they're hybrids."

"Hybrids? How the spoony's that work?" Phantom asked.

"Lemme explain," Solid Ekans interjected. "Hybrids is Gears tat are machines both and living."

"Oh, seeing am I," Phantom Ghost said confidently.

"Alex," Benit said to her Gear, "turn on the main monitor." Alexander complied, and an illuminated visual came up. There were indeed two Gears stomping around outside in a semi-circular fashion. They were carrying large signs saying something in the Solarian language. "Alex, bring up the audio." Instantly, a speaker began blaring what the biomechanical Gears were saying.

Vance and Renk tromped around in a circle, tearing up the grass with their heavy feet. "We want the -Destined-, not…. -um, -Vance-, what rhymes with -Destined-?"

"Uh…um…er….I don't -anything- does, -Renk-."

"Why not?"

"It's a -conspiracy-! It's all the -Lambs'- fault!"

"Well, yeah! Hey, why are we -here-? I -forgot-," Renk said slowly.

"-Imbecile-! We're -here- to take care of the -Destined-, 'cuz Stone Cold -Hanpan- said so!"

"Wasn't it -Krelian-?"

"…-No-."

"So…they're looking for me," Gray Fox said.

"Yeah, your music annoyed people all the way to Solaris," Ekans said.

"Aww, that's not very nice." Gray Fox looked around the tired Agents for support, and, finding none, he shrugged. "Well, I guess I'll go out there. This' my fight." He began to run toward the plug room.

"What're you talking about? People who say that always get killed!" Axer said.

"Hey!" Gray Fox said over his shoulder. "Everyday the bucket goes to the well! Someday the bottom must drop out!"

"What?!"

"You don't listen to much reggae, do you?"

Launchers primed.

Unknown TwinkiEVA unit.

LAUNCH SEQUENCE BEGIN….

TwinkiEVA…confirmed. 'Kusotare' ready.

Pilot...confirmed. 'Gray Fox' ready.

LAUNCH GEAR!

"Alex, can't you shut down the launch tubes?"

"No, his Gear overrode my commands. I never knew a TwinkiEVA had survived." The Agents paced nervously. "Basically," Alexander continued, "all we can do is watch." On the screen, Kusotare shot out of a launch tube and spread out its wings.

"What's so great about the TwinkiEVAs anyway?" Solid Ekans asked.

"It's a long story," Alexander said, "but I guess we have time. The TwinkiEVA Gears are filled with incredible spoonimus power. They were created thousands of years ago to act in conjunction with the Anima Twinkie to fight an unknown evil. But they were deemed unsuitable for audiences and they were…censored." A ripple of shock passed through the bridge. "They were all destroyed, and the manufacturing center buried deep in reference-drowning strata. The reason his Gear is even more powerful is that it uses the entire power of the Anima Twinkie instead of sharing it with other TwinkiEVAs. It's a legend, but it's said that they can achieve Attack Level Infinity+1, an theoretically impossible and supremely powerful attack level."

"Do the TwinkiEVAs follow orders?"

"Of course not."

Kusotare landed on the ground before Vance and Renk, his wings moving slightly in the wind.

"Hi," the TwinkiEVA said cheerfully. "I'm here to kick your spoonies."

"Knock it off, Kusotare," Gray Fox said. "I'm the Destined. Whatcha want?"

"Duh…we're here to -kill- you," Renk said.

"Y-yeah! And then w-w-w-we can b-b-bring -Lumina- to Colonel -C-C-C-Capricciola!-" Vance seconded. He spun around in a circle and fired a ki-ish blast of fire.

"Whoa! Kusotare, jump!" Kusotare didn't jump; instead, he passed his hand through the ring, extinguishing the flames.

"Duh...how'd he do -that-?"

"Like, I'm the universe's most powerful Gear! Welcome to my RAVE party!" Lights began to randomly flash.

"We jammin'!" Gray Fox said enthusiastically. "And I hope you like to jammin' with me! Kusotare, kick!" The TwinkiEVA did a spinning roundhouse and connected with Renk's side. The Gear reeled drunkenly. "Punch!" Kusotare slammed both his fists into Vance's chest. "Turn!" Kusotare turned smartly. "And chop the Gears!" The TwinkiEVA fired two scything waves of G-Ki into Vance and Renk. "Or…."

"Or -what-?" the two evil Gears asked dimly.

"Or you will fall to the floor!" Kusotare sang out. He launched himself into the air, and knocked Vance and Renk tumbling to the ground.

"Kusotare, G-Kamehameha!"

"His power level is skyrocketing," Ekans said, his DXScouter bleeping like it was censoring Cid.

"120,000…125,000…130,000…oh, to HFIL with it, I'm turning this thing off before it shatters."

CAM nervously ate a Twinkie. "Alexander, can you get through the override yet?"

"No…he's got one HFILuva strong encyption code…"

"Maybe we could try fighting them outside of Gears," Axer suggested.

"That wouldn't work…," Ekans mused. "I mean, humans don't stand a chance against Gears…unless they're Tin Robos or something…."

"He seems to be doing okay," Benit said. "But I've played enough RPGs to know that never lasts."

Kusotare's G-Kamehameha slammed into the Solarian Gears. Gray Fox smirked.

"-Vance-," Renk said, panting, "perhaps it is -time- we used our full -power-."

"I -agree-." Suddenly, much to Gray Fox's surprise, Vance and Renk stood up. "You are -history-, Destined!" A blistering array of laser cannons, missile launchers and assorted sharp pointy objects exploded out of every available surface in the Gears' bodies. They opened fire on Kusotare.

"Spoony it to HFIL!" the TwinkiEVA said, desperately trying to evade and block shots.

"Can't you fight back?" Gray Fox asked.

"Not with that kind of firepower against me! Oh, why the HFIL did I override the launch tubes? I can't fight back unless somebody averts their attention!"

"This doesn't bode well," Phantom said. "Alexander, what's going to happen?"

"The TwinkiEVA cannot go Attack Level Infinity+1 unless he and the pilot are in perfect alignment of their spoonimus power. And it took the ancient TwinkiEVA pilots years to achieve that balance," the GF said.

"Doesn't Gray get any bonuses for being Destined?" Benit asked.

"Not here, apparently." Mewtwo suddenly sprang up from his seat.

"Listen, Alexander. Find some way to remove that override, or the Destined will get sent to the NEXT DIMENSION, and the Key, Power and Contact won't be enough to defeat the Mothers and FUNimation. And do you know what will happen then?"

"The universe will be turned into a cold, lifeless HFIL?" CAM supplied.

"No, worse!" Mewtwo said, rounding on the Agents. "They…will show…reruns of dubbed Dragon Ball 24 hours a day! The only system will be the N64, and the only game will be Glover! All references to anything besides Glover will be destroyed! That means all your friends on the Planet and anywhere else! Evebucks will supply all food and drink! They'll destroy Twinkies! And coffee! And tea! Is that the kind of Life, Universe and Everything you picture for yourselves?!"

No!" the Agents said in unison.

"Then get your spoonies out there!"

"The launch tubes are working," Alexander suddenly said.

"Alright!" Ekans said triumphantly. "It's time for the Digivolution!"

"What?!"

Launchers primed.

Poké Gear unit.

LAUNCH SEQUENCE BEGIN…

Gear…confirmed. 'PokéArms' ready.

Pilot…confirmed. 'Phantom Ghost' ready.

LAUNCH GEAR!

Unknown Gear unit.

LAUNCH SEQUENCE BEGIN…

Gear…confirmed. 'Bunbun-Wing' ready.

Pilot…confirmed. 'Solid Ekans' ready.

LAUNCH GEAR!

Unknown Gear unit.

LAUNCH SEQUENCE BEGIN…

Gear…confirmed. 'Mocha Impact' ready.

Pilot…confirmed. 'CAM' ready.

LAUNCH GEAR!

Mocha Impact, BunBun-Wing, and PokéArms all landed outside of Alexander's legs and stood tall, ready for battle. Inside, the rest of ROCKSLIDE, Benit, Axer, and Mewtwo watched the future battle unfold.

"I pity the foo' who don't make me go out there!" Mr. T barked.

"That'd be risky!" Axer cried.

"Correct. If a threat is too much imposed on these newcomers, they have a better chance of using their full power," Alexander explained. Benit slumped back into her seat.

"All we can do is watch, and help when things get too ugly."

"What? -More- Gears to help the -Destined-?" Vance asked. He was looking nervous.

"-Spoony-. I'll take the -blue wing- and the -grey wing- gears, you take the -teacup- and -pokémon- gears," Renk suggested.

"What of the -Destined-?"

"-Forget- him for -now-!"

Vance took off in his Gear to fight Mocha Impact and PokéArms, while Renk took on Kusotare and Bun-Bun Wing. Renk tried to roundhouse Kusotare, and succeeded in hitting his wing. Bun-Bun Wing grabbed his leg and pulled it back, making Renk’s Gear fall down head over heels. Just like Gears, he got back up and jabbed Bun-Bun Wing in the stomach, then grabbed his enemy's heads and smashed them together.

Vance noticed from PokéArms that several little creatures carried lasers and were firing at him. Even a large Yuffiesaurus Rex carried some, and those were rocking the house more. Mocha Impact put his hands together and sprayed some coffee onto Vance’s Gear. Both attacks didn't seem to slow him down much, just give him a bellyache. Vance’s Gear punched PokéArms' jaw and kicked Mocha Impact stunned.

"Sadly enough, this battle ain't good enough without lasers and power beams. What's up with that?" Alys asked. Benit strapped her seatbelt.

"Well, I think it's time I see what else Alex can do here," she replied.

Launchers Primed

GF Gear Unit

LAUNCH SEQUENCE BEGIN

Gear ...confirmed 'Alexander' ready

Pilot ...confirmed 'Benit' ready

LAUNCH GEAR!

Alexander, turn on the speakers. I'd like to have a word to those Solarian bastards," Benit remarked.

"Will do." A soft ping was heard and everyone listened as they watched the battle and Benit speaking at the same time.

"Hey, new guys!"

Suddenly, another ping was heard, and two new voices were heard.

"-You-!"

"You're -wanted- in -Solaris-!"

"Yeah, well tough $%@! It's about time someone laid down the law that no one can stop the Agents of Rocket Town, in person or in Gear!

"What're you -going- to do?"

"Alex, I think it's time to boogie," Benit remarked.

The good Gears weren't going to give up fighting these two, even though their gears were HFILuva tough. A fifth gear joined the ranks as the Esthar-sized Alexander roared to life, his cannons giving off a rainbow cresent from either one, showing that they were ready to pound some #*$^@ with holy justice!

"Let's battle!" Benit's voice could be heard.

Agent the Captain had long since passed out due to lack of oxygen under the pile of cats in Cid's house. As the agent slept, he did not realize the cheesy BFM portal appear over him and envelop his unconcious form. Before too many minutes passed, the agent awoke.

"What the HFIL?" droplets of moisture covered the Captain's face as he shivered in the night air. He slowly blinked his eyes open and sat up on the cold grass. "Where am I?" It was obvious to the groggy agent that he was not only no longer a prisoner in Cid's house, but he was also nowhere near Rocket Town.

The Agent struggled to his feet and rubbed his back. His latest nap underneath a mountain of cats had stiffened his muscles something fierce. The agent looked above in the night sky, a light breeze caressed his dampened face. The air was extremely moist - a warm, thick mist of steam enshrouded the air all around him.

That was when he saw it - the most horrific sight imaginable. The one thing The Captain truly feared: Steamwood. The rusty iron tower spat and rumbled before him, steam shot from every possible orifice

around the structure. Indeed, Steamwood was about to explode - AGAIN.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The agent fell to his knees in horrific agony, then fell face first on the ground. He kicked his feet and pounded his fists in a tantrum of childish misery. Suddenly, a deep chuckle halted this pathetic display.

"I see you remember dis place, comrade," a darkened figure sneered. "Den I assume you know vat to do..."

Trainer the Captain stepped into the light where his good counterpart could see him. "Steamwood is about to explode. Unless you stop it, your mission will be ended," he smiled and amended,"...permanently."

The agent got to his feet again as the villainous trainer disappeared back into the shadows. He headed to the iron door and inserted a valve handle.

"Why the HFIL is there a valve for a door knob?" The agent turned the vavle and went inside.

Inside, a series of giant digital clocks were mounted on the surrounding walls, all ticking down as the Captain's time rapidly ran out. The agent rushed to the elevator and stood on the platform just as it began to rocket upward. When it reached the first platform, the agent quickly jumped off. The Captain picked up a valve handle resting on the platform in front of him and hurried to valve #1. Inserting it, he quickly turned the handle to release the pressure.

"One down," he grumbled, "HFIL knows how many more to go..."

The agent turned away from the first valve and hurried toward the second.

Suddenly, Steamwood exploded!

The Pokéball Princess Q rode in rocketted through the Cleft of Dimension, eating up the miles like CAM would a twelve pack of Twinkies.

Suddenly, she saw Mew flying outside the Pokéball. She motioned to the small Pokémon that she didn't know how to stop the ball, but Mew didn't seem to mind. A purplish light flared bright, then the Pokéship slowed to a stop.

Mew boarded, and as soon as she was comfortable, she directed the ship to continue on its way.

"Why are you here?" Princess Q asked the diminuitive Pokémon.

"Mew," she said with a shrug. I came to help protect the Contact.

"You speak telepathically?!"

Yes. I can with you, since you communicate with Solaris by trance. And yes, I know all about you and your mission.

"Oh," Princess Q breathed, unsure if she really liked the idea of being an open book to what was in essence a pink kangaroo rat.

"Mew..." The Contact has to remember his destiny soon. And as unfortunate as this may seem...I agree with you. I hope no one takes it badly when we do what we need to do.

"Yeah...," sighed Princess Q, contemplating the seeming unthinkable.

Loud, "Jaws"-like music shattered the still night, causing Agent the Captain to sit bolt upright in bed.

"AAAAAAAAaaaaaggh! Huh? I'm alive? What a nightmare! Oh well, better get going!"

As soon as that phrase exited the Captain's lips for the tenth time, he screamed in earnest despair. He had hoped that taking that head-first plummet from the very spire of that Tower of Hell known as Steamwood would get him out of this seeming endless round of death and reincarnation that now defined his hopeless existance.

But no. He yet again found himself standing before Steamwood. Trainer the Captain snickered evily as Agent the Captain trudgingly made his way toward the steam-belching monstrosity.

The Pokéball finally arrived in Rocket Town. Before disembarking, Princess Q and Mew studied the readouts on the psychoactive controls. Mew had, in the time it took them to travel through the N-zone, taught Princess Q how to operate the controls and how to perform a number of neat mind tricks. As a psychic Pokémon who held a formidable amount of knowledge, she was able to show the Princess how to do Jedi mind tricks, Vulcan mind-melds (which Princess Q thought meshed quite nicely with her Vulcan Eye Poke Limit), some limited telekenisis, and how to cheat at poker by sensing the cards of the opponent.

She thought all that neat stuff might come in handy some day. Then she suddenly decided that was enough internal monologue and that she should probably relay what she saw on the screen to the audience at home.

The Princess' borrowed Gear El-Fenrir was present and active, meaning that the Mr. Zohar Coffee Device had finally awakened from its long slumber. The -Time- of the -Caffiene- was drawing near. It also meant that she now had access to her Arcane Ether abilities, the very ones she "appropriated" from the last Guardian Angel of Solaris.

El-Fenrir shared the viewscreen with a very large incarnation of Jenova, who was holding a net and looking around on the ground, as if she had lost a contact lens. Or perhaps simply a Contact.

Princess Q's pulse quickened in anxiety. She exchanged nervous glances with Mew. In order to bring about The -Time- of the -Caffiene- under their own conditions, they couldn't let Miang or the Mothers do it their way.

Simply put, Time Kompression had to occur...Nintendeus had to be ressurected and the Mothers joined as one in order to defeat them. There was no way the Agents could defeat all the Mothers seperately. But it had to happen in the Guardian Angel's time, not the Mother's time, or else all was lost.

Satisfied that there was no real imediate danger, Mew flicked on her portable Somebody Else's Problem field and cloaked both herself and Princess Q in it. Then they stepped out of the Pokéball, safe in the knowledge that everyone would ignore them. Then they made their way to Cid's house, just because it seemed like a likely enough place to start.

Princess Q smiled slowly. She had hit the jackpot. For from behind Cid's door came the caterwalling and mewing of millions of cats.

She stepped inside. Unable to wade through the cats, she fished two Pokéballs from her Inventory and set them loose. The Arcanine and Growlithe popped out and barked noisily, scaring away all the cats. Underneath lay the prone for of the Captain, unconsious but seemingly in a trance.

The Princess glanced at Mew, who nodded. Then she sat down next to the Captain and set her fingers on his face, just as Mew had taught her, to begin a Vulcan mind-meld...

Just as he expected, time ran out. Again. And just as he expected, Steamwood blew up. Again.

And just as he expected, he woke up in Musashi's bed again, saying he wanted to be reincarnated as Musashi again.

It was enough to drive an Agent mad.

When he reappeared at the Gates of Hell...er...Steamwood, something he had not at all expected greeted him. There stood Princess Q with a PlayStation. The controller was in her hand. She waved to the Captain to join her for a moment.

"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.

"For one thing, I'm here to help you finally save Steamwood. You may not like what you have to do in order to win, but...," The Captain didn't really like that glint of perverse glee he saw in Princess Q's eyes.

Suddenly, a strange sensation washed over him. It was as if the very fabric of reality were being manipulated from the outside. Then it passed, but not without leaving a change in its wake.

Princess Q giggled uncontrolably as soon as she looked at her handiwork. "Hee...hee...since I can beat Steamwood, I thought it would be a good idea for starters to put you... hee hee...under my control. That way I can guide you to victory...hee... After that, I'll help you remember when you became the Contact."

The Captain narrowed his eyes and looked down. He nearly fainted in horror at what he saw. Not only was he to be doomed to repeat the evil Steamwood forever, now he had to do it looking like MUSASHI?!

"AAUUGHH!!"

That cry was heard even in the very remote regions of the Cleft of Dimension.

It had taken Agent Garret most of the day just to find his Gear. The cloaking mechanism was so sophisticated, it made the gear almost invisible, even at close range. Of course, it still took another twenty minutes to find where the entrance to te cockpit was, a half hour to figure out how to open it, and yet another fifteen seconds turn the cloaking mechanism off.

He then got out again, so he could see what his new aquisition looked like. It looked like the Deathscythe, only with more black parts, and a black cloak. Well, he could live with that. He then reentered the cockpit, and brought up a display that listed his availiable weapons.

Active abilities:
Sword
EMP Thwapper
Missiles
Cloaking
Silent movement
Missiles
More Missiles
Tons More Missiles

Out of curiousity, he asked the computer if there were any inactive abilities, and, surprisingly, he got a reply.

Inactive Ability

Power Lend- Add this Gear's power to another. Activated when Time Kompression occurs.

And with that, he decided to work his way back to Rocket Town.

The Nemesis Moogle sat, frustrated that it couldn't remember the letter that it was on. Unfortunately, it reached the conclusion that it should just start over. It got up, and started lumbering toward Cid's house, and the two Agents.

"A..."

The large group of Agents had been sent to the FF8 Planet by the FF7 Planet reflecting their retaliatory nature. They were given a number of missions. Their target was FUNimation and Pokémon, two groups within the badly translated troops of the Solaris Fear Alliance. With their gears come great new enemies. The year is After FPS 2, Pikacthulu and Hi-C have now taken center stage.

Pikacthulu pulled himself out of his gear. It was useless now, but his mistake was relying on a machine in the first place. Next battle he'll just grow to gear size to utilize his full power. His "ally" in this battle floated down to greet him.

"I didn't recall needing your help," Hi-C told Pikacthulu. Hi-C fired an energy dan, but Pikacthulu dodged with Agility. Tao Pika Pika struck Hi-C with his Katana, and Zio fired the Black Wave. The Black Wave struck Hi-C harmlessly, and the force of Tao Pika Pika's blow did not move him. Tao Pika Pika looked at his katana and it shattered. Tao Pika Pika immediately drew one of his spares.

"i tHiNk We ShOuLd ShOw HiM uP," Pikacthulu told his brother,"tHiS mOvE eVeN dEfEaTeD yOu CuRrEnT hOsT."

"fUs-"

"-sion-"

"-Ha!"

Tao Pika Pika and Pikacthulu's index fingers touched, and there was a great flash of light. Standing in their place was a Pikachu with baggy pants and a vest on. Tao Pikacthulu looked at his opponent with a smirk. Tao Pikacthulu swung his katana at Hi-C. Hi-C dodged but was nicked by the blade. Hi-C fired an Energy Dan, and Tao Pikacthulu simply caught it and threw it aside.

Sweat beaded on Hi-C's forehead. He didn't want to have to change bodies again, but he really favored his current host. This body allowed him to hide his true power and to live without oxygen. He had no idea what the other body held for him, plus since it was a fusion it would break down in thirty minutes. Hi-C decided he would wait it out and retreat if he had to. Hi-C went into a frenzy of punches and Tao Pikacthulu easily blocked each strike.

Hi-C fired a Kouhi-Hame-Ha at Tao Pikacthulu. Tao Pikacthulu dodged to the side and shouted,"Kamikaze Gengar Attack!" A Gengar jumped out of Tao Pikacthulu and raced towards Hi-C. Hi-C caught him with a punch that caused the Gengar to explode. Hi-C fell to the ground battered and beated. It would be impossible to harm to fusion character so he fled.

"yEaH i ThOuGhT sO!" Tao Pikacthulu exclaimed and split back into Tao Pika Pika and Pikacthulu.

"I think I could find some use in this gear," Tao Pika Pika said, "Funfundwanzing should work perfectly."

"I guess I'll be going now," Zio said.

"nO," Pikacthulu told him, "tHe DeAl wAs, YoU kIlL aLyS." Zio sweatdropped.

Elsewhere the Gear battle was heating up. Vance faced off against Kusotare and BunBun Wing. Renk faced off against PokéArms and Mocha Impact.

Kusotare, BunBun Wing, and Vance exchanged blows. BunBun Wing fired its cannon with a "klickit". The blast struck Vance only suceeding in knocking him down. Kusotare started punching Vance damaging the hybrid gear. BunBun Wing landed a punch, and unleashed one of his gears secret weapons. With a "kaklick" a switch blade came out of BunBun Wing's wrist and pierced Vance's armor. Vance punched BunBun Wing away and smacked him down, and then Vance knocked down Kusotare. Despite Kusotare's power its full power depends still on the experience of the pilot.

Renk was knocked back by slashes from Mocha Impact's G-whip. PokéArm let loose a barrage of shots from his gatling gun. Rounds bounced off of Renk and knocked him to the ground. PokéArm and Mocha Impact moved in for the kill, but Renk quickly jumped to his feet and knocked them to the ground.

As Renk and Vance moved in Alexander unleashed its Holy Judgement damaging the hybrid gears, and saving the other agents.

Alys, D, Gabriel, Rune, and the rest of ROCKSLIDE sat around in lounge. Alys, D, Gabriel, and Rune had failed their mission. They were to prevent Pikacthulu from being ressurected and help Artemis protect the contact. Pikacthulu was on the loose, so was this new threat Hi-C, the contact was lost, and they can't find Artemis. But then it dawned on them that they did not choose to take this mission, and were not going to be paid. The only thing that they were worried about was Solaris retaliating against the rebellious Elements. Alys pulled a scouter out of her backpack to check her messages, something beeped in the distance. It was a power level around 20 million and that was with it being pushed down. It could only be one person… Hi-C.

Hunter Unit ready.

Launchers primed.

Pilot "Alys" ready.

Launch "Reisingei".

Hunter Unit ready.

Launchers primed.

Pilot "D" ready.

Launch "Apocalypse".

Magitek Unit ready.

Launchers primed.

Pilot "Agent1469" ready.

Launch "Magitek Armor".

Magitek Unit ready.

Launchers primed.

Pilot "Celes" ready.

Launch "General Armor".

GMC 1982 Custom Unit ready.

Launchers primed.

Pilot "Mr.T" ready.

Launch "GMC 1982 Custom Van".

The Gears' boosters roared to life, and they flew to intercept Hi-C. The Agents were struggling in that battle enough, but for Hi-C to abush them as well. That must be prevented, ROCKSLIDE would have to stall Hi-C long enough for them to defeat Vance and Renk.

"Well well," Hi-C smirked, "If it isn't the Elements."

The Gears took battle positions. General unleashed a Tek Missle, Agent1496 fired a Fire Beam, Reisingei fired its G-Moonslashers, GMC 1982 Custom Van fired lasers from its grill, and Apocalypse swung its G-Katana. Hi-C stood unmoving and the attacks simply passed through him.

Alys saw Hi-C behind her on the rear view window. She activated the IDF crystal and teleported behind Hi-C dodging his Energy Dan. She unleashed her G-Moonslashers and knocked him to the ground. Mr.T slammed into Hi-C with his van. Agent1469 and Celes teleported behind Hi-C and hit him with Fire Beams. D teleported behind him and swatted him to the ground with his G-Katana.

To everyone's surprise Hi-C simply got up and brushed himself off. "Got anymore of that?"

ROCKSLIDE was silent. They knew that they had used up all the charges in their IDF crystals. "GGGGG-MEGID!" Alys cried and Reisingei fired a G-Megid. Hi-C simply raised his left hand and caught the blast, and then absorbed it. Alys noticed four stars burned into his hand.

"Watch out!," she shouted over the intercom, "He absorbs energy through the stars on his left hand.

"That's not all I can do," Hi-C smirk intercepting her message on his scouter, "Four Star Blast!" Hi-C fired four powerful star shaped blasts. The blasts pierced Reisingei, General, Magitek Armor, and Apocalypse rendering them unusable. GMC 1982 Custom van rammed into Hi-C, he blocked it with one hand. He then proceded to lift the van in the air, and tossed it HFILuva far.

Agent CAM sensed Hi-C was near and that Celes was in trouble. Using his typical CAM logic, he hit upon only one option for him to both defeat Renk and Vance and save Celes: to self-detonate. CAM flipped open a cover and pressed a button.

Everyone saw Mocha Impact begin to glow. All fighting stopped, and Mocha Impact grabbed Renk and Vance. Then in a flash of light Mocha Impact exploded destroying everything around him. Agent CAM flew out of the wreckage, and straight towards Hi-C. Agent CAM punched Hi-C's face in mid-air, Hi-C flew backwards and his scouter fell off. Agent CAM came back with several more punches, and drew blood. Agent CAM threw off his trenchcoat for added mobility, and went into the assault again. The two clashed and CAM came on top agan.

"I guess I'll have to go to full power," Hi-C smirked.

"0_[0]D!" CAM exclaimed.

Hi-C charged into battle with a volley of punches to the abdomen, followed by an Energy Dan that blasted Agent CAM against a nearby mountain. Then with one quick move he fired his Four Star Blast into Agent CAM. Agent CAM fell to the ground motionless.

Waves of pain washed over Hi-C. He grabbed his abdomen as he doubled over and spat blood (which was quickly censored by FUNimation). This was horrible, some of the four star ball must have survived there was still a small link left between them. If one dies the other will. Hi-C had to find a way to find the final fragment, and destroy it.

"Damn, two retreats in one day," Hi-C muttered,"I'll have to kill a bunch of people later. I hear Timber wants liberated..." With that the injured Hi-C flew off to wherever he hangs out.

"CAM!" Celes cried, jumped out of her gear, and then ran to her CAM.

Alys took the iniative and ran to a tipped over Capsule Corp. vending machine. She reached into the shattered plexiglass and pulled out a silver foil bag labeled "Karin-sama brand Senzu (TM)". Alys threw the bag to Celes, and Celes struggled with the bag until it exploded spilling Senzu everywhere. Celes grabbed one of the Senzu, and gave it to CAM.

What is this?

CAM saw a small boy with spiky brown hair facing off against another boy with blonde hair. Overlooking the battle was several other children and who CAM recognized as Matron. Two people stuck out like a sore thumb. Two adults. One of them looked like Alys. And the other.....Vegeta?

The two looked over the fight. Marton seemed to lok distressed.

"Don't worry," Alys told her,"Vegeta and I are only sparring our pupils. No one should get hurt."

"It would be a nice change of pace," Vegeta smirked.

The brown haired boy began to fight the boy with the blonde hair. Within seconds the brown haired boy had knocked him out of the ring.

"Well done," Vegeta said, "but you didn't kill him. Your always supposed kill your enemies, they might come back to haunt you at later time."

"Well, Chaz," Alys told the blonde hair boy, "I guess you'll never be nothing more than a water boy. After all that training, you’re just the same, but CAM has gotten much more powerful."

"I want to fight," another little boy beamed.

"No, Reese," Matron scolded, "I don't want you being with these ruffians."

"Its not fair!" Reese complained, "Just because Chaz and CAM got adopted, they can fight. This is a violation of my civil rights!"

"Fine Reese," Matron replied, "You can spar against CAM if you want, but be careful."

"Alright!" Reese exclaimed. Reese jumped into the ring to face Chibi-CAM. Chibi-CAM began to trade punches until one of the broke through Chibi-CAM's defenses, and knocked him out of the ring.

Veins popped out of Chibi CAM's head. A brilliant aura surrounded Agent CAM and he transformed into Chibi-Hi-C.

"For all of my life I have been tossed aside and treated as nothing," Chibi-Hi-C told Reese,"and that's all because of you. No matter how hard I try you're always more powerful, because your the real Contact! Shine!"

"That's it CAM," Vegeta said,"Get mad, CAM! Kill him! Kill him!"

Alys glanced at him. "What!?"

Hi-C pummeled into Reese with a barrage of blows that easily knocked him out. Hi-C formed an Energy Dan with his hand ready to finish off Reese.

"No stop!" Alys jumped into the way, but Hi-C continued to charge the blast.

"Alys!" Vegeta cried and punched Hi-C away. Hi-C came back with a barrage of punches, and busted Vegeta's lip. "My aren't you strong. Final Flash!" Vegeta blasted Hi-C with his signature move against a mountain. The blast severly injured his head, and cause him to revert back to Chibi-CAM.

I remember this. This is the day that I got my head injury and revert to my old self.

Agent CAM awakened startled in a bed in the sick bay. Almost all of the Agents were surrounding him.

"Where am I?" Agent CAM asked.

"You’re in Alexander," Benit told him.

"You've been out for three days," Agent Gray Fox told CAM.

"CAM! You’re alright!" Celes exclaimed.

"While you were asleep, Professor Daravon flew in," Alys said.

"Daravon? Here?" Agent CAM questioned.

"Yeah," Alys replied, "He brought in some new gear parts and is going to be our mechanic."

"Heh," Agent CAM said as he got up,"Too bad I can't help in a Gear battle anymore."

"That’s where you’re wrong CAM," Rune said, "With the repair kits I brought, it was really easy to fully restore your Gear."

"Actually, its even better than before," Alys added, "Daravon brought in some hijacked mobile suit parts that were being shipped to FUNimation."

ROCKSLIDE and the rest of the Agents went into the secondary Gear hangar. There the Agents saw Professor Daravon and several other mechanics working on what appears to be Mocha Impact.

Professor Daravon began to saw something, but the mechanic interupted. "I'm sorry but you probably wouldn't understand a word he says. This is now Mocha Impact 2. This gear has increased mobility, speed, and strength from Taurus mobile suit parts. This gear has also been given new Gundamium alloy armor, a IDF crystal engine, and a large Mako cannon."

"Don't you think the STA will be mad about all this IDF crystal technolgy we have?" Agent CAM asked.

"YES," BrandonTCA added.

"Well, we only have a one charge a day crystal in each ROCKSLIDE gear," the mechanic replied, "But we salavage the one from CAM's wreckage into an engine. Now Mocha Impact 2 can teleport, but to do so requires a lot of fuel."

"Is the cannon as powerful as mine?" BrandonTCA asked.

"No," the mechanic replied,"I didn't want to cannon to hinder the Gear so it resembles more of an ARM. The rest of ROCKSLIDE's Gears have been given Mithril alloy armor and Ares engines. With the exception of Alys and Agent1469's gears, they added some special changes. Alys' gear is now El-Reisingei with special options from Demi's old CPU, a Lacosian alloy armor, Taurus engine, and enhanced aiming for the moonslashers. Agent1469's new gear is Silent Death. A stealth gear made from a Taurus mobile suit with its space laser and Magitek technology. I have four Gundanium alloy armors and Taurus engines I could add to your Gears."

"Alright!" The other agents cheered.

Go on to Part 4