Final Pokémon Solid 3

Part 2

"A bowl of surprise?" Ekans said, "Where do you suppose we could find that?"

"How about over there?" Kelvena pointed to a mile-high neon sign reading 'bowl of surprise.'

As soon as the three turned their attention to it, the sign collapsed down upon itself. Afterwards, the letters appeared to say 'Go stick your head in a Uribo.'

"What the HFIL?" Dominia exclaimed.

"Uribo," Ekans said, "One of those little things you poach in FFT..."

"No," said Dominia, "It's as if something wants us to go over there, it's got to be a trap."

"Normally, I'd agree," Ekans said, "But in order for that to be true, this whole dimension would have to be conspiring to kill us, and that's just silly."

"Yes," said Kelvena, "But the sillyness of none of the other things we have encountered has stopped them from appearing."

"Hmm...good point," Ekans observed, "but it's not like we have any other leads."

The group headed up to the remains of the mile-high neon sign, and the rubble soon began to shake, and a huge figure eploded out of the nearly-mile-high wreckage.

It was Jet Alone.

The arms of the nuclear-powered robot flopped back and fort as it marched out of the sign wreckage and plodded across the landscape. In a glass box at the tip of one of it's control rods was the fragment of the bowl of surpise.

"That thing is huge!" Dominia exclaimed, "It's got the bowl piece, but how are we going to get it down from there?"

"You guys have Gears, don't you?" said Ekans.

"They aren't in this dimension," Kelvena stated.

"Then why don't you just do something wacky and contrived to get them here," the agent suggested, "Try imitating a badly translated live-action sentai show."

"No way," said Dominia, "I'm not going to do any more silly pose-striking."

"But our only way out of here is about to leave with Jet Alone," Kelvena observed.

Dominia sighed, "All right...but this is the last time we do anything like this. We Need ElementZord power-NOW!" The ground was sliced away and Bladegash leapt up from the rift. Marinebasher shot up out of a nearby lake and the two gears began autonomously running to meet their pilots, who leapt an inexplicalbe distance in the air to land in their cockpits.

"You guys be careful not to damage that thing," Ekans said, climbing onto Bladegash's shoulder, "I doubt that spreading Nuclear death across the land in this dimension is any more pleasant that it would be in our own."

Bladegash leapt down in front of Jet Alone and it began attempting to halt the forward motion of the huge robot. Ekans jumped down onto the gear's arm and he ran across towards the body of Jet Alone. Then the arm shook and Ekans fell down upon Bladegash's forearm as Jet Alone built up enough steam to begin pushing the gear forward.

Kelvena piloted her gear round to aid in the pushing, but Jet Alone continued to press on. Ekans regained his balance and he climbed up onto the Nuclear-powered floppy-armed Robot. Then something unexpected occured, as a smaller, nuclear-powered mantenence robot leapt up in front of Ekans, scattering a psychadelic pattern all across the world before him.

[The Nuclear Reactor robot blocked the way]
[Solid Ekans tried the big bottle chu-chu rocket.]
[543 damage to the Nuclear Reactor robot!]
[The Nuclear Reactor Robot refilled a fuel supply.]
[The Nuclear Reactor Robot's HP Maxed out!]
[Soild Ekans attacked! SMAAAAAAASH!]
[470 damage to the Nuclear Reactor robot!]
[The Nuclear Reactor Robot fired a beam!]
[124 damage to Solid Ekans!]
[Solid Ekans used PSI Parappa Ref ß!]
[The Nuclear Reactor Robot could not keep up with the funky, funky, flow!]
[The Nuclear Reactor Robot exploded into bits!]
[230 damage to Solid Ekans!]
[YOU WON!]
[The enemy left behind a present. Inside the present, there was a Bowl of Surprise piece. You take it.]

"All right!" said Ekans, "A winner is me!"

"Fine," said Dominia, "But we still can't stop this thing! I don't care if it sounds like something those Saban @$#s woulds say, we need G-Elements power, now!"

Princess Q stopped running and screaming a few miles away from Rocket Town. She desperatly hoped that was far enough away from the bizarre wraith she thought was Cid.

It couldn't have been Cid. It just couldn't.

Yet, knowing how these things went, she hastily grabbed her portable sub-etha net station and started searching for the other Agent's frequencies.

Quickly, she located several Agents amidst the 64th Dimension. a quick peek at her Hitchhicker's Guide informed her that the Agents would likely be a while.

"Shoot. I knew Benit would wind up in trouble. Now what do I do?"

Princess Q sat down on the grass and pondered for a long while. There was something fishy going on in Solaris, but she really didn't want to go back there. Her 'escape' had been difficult enough the first time, even if it had been secretly staged by President Loire so that the Gazel Ministry would be unaware.

Besides, if she went back, she was bound to get hungry sometime, and you just didn't eat the food in Solaris. You never knew who they put in there.

So she sat, pondering. It would be really bad if the plot got away from them...it had happened before, and plots were not easy things to recapture once you lost them.

It would be nice if Gray Fox hurried up and got his Gear..

"Well, I guess the only thing I can do is inform the Agents." So Princess Q proceeded to dial up each Agent's CODEC and leave them a message about the horrible thing that had happened to Cid.

"Cid's been kidnapped. There's no other explanation. Anyone a Bad Enough Dude to rescue Cid?"

Agent Axer and Ramsus swam after the disembodied arm in the "sea" of clocks. Actually, Ramsus was just following because he made a blind pact while Agent Axer swam vainly for his arm.

"I'm gonna get ya!" exclaimed Agent Axer as he swung to grab his disembodied arm only to have it swim away form him, "Karp! It got away!"

Ramsus just sighed as he slapped his wooden marionette like arm into his forehead, making a resounding 'thunk’-ing sound, "Why am I always paired up with the idiots..."

As Agent Axer, and the arm, swam around Ramsus a few times the arm skidded to a halt, leaving nice visible tire tracks in the sea.

"Aha! GOTCHA!" exclaimed Agent Axer as he grabbed the arm and popped it back in. Then the most horrible and shocking thing occurred.

"To protect the world from caffeination," a male voice called from above as Agent Axer looked up to see a familiar flying balloon from FPS...

"To unite all sea pilots within our nation," a female voice growled.

"To denounce the evil of Cactaur's love," the male voice said.

"To launch The Arnihs No. 500 to the seas below," the female voice finished.

"Evil Cid!"

"Evil Shera!"

"Team Submarine Village blast off at the speed of light!" Evil Cid said.

"Sit your ass down and drink your goddamn Evebucks coffee!" cursed Evil Shera as a cat figure popped out of the balloon and landed in between Evil Cid and Evil Shera

"Meow! That’s right!" said Evil Cait Sith.

"Shera!" Cid whined, "You ruined the last part!"

"Shaddap ya MORON!!!" the female submarine pilot growled as she slapped Evil Cid upside the head. Agent Axer gasped, but of course, Ramsus just looked at Team Submarine Village with a plastered smile.

"What're YOU doing here???" asked Agent Axer as he pointed at Team Submarine Village.

"What are WE doing here? What are YOU doing here?? This is OUR parallel dimension of evilness ya know!" yelled Evil Shera as she sneered at Agent Axer.

"Yeah!" added Evil Cid who was then immedietly smacked in the back of the head by Evil Shera.

"I didn't say you could talk, you PEON! Just for that, you're going to have to make me 100 cups of Evebucks coffee!" Evil Shera scolded as she crossed her arms and glared at Evil Cid who cowered in fear, “With your FEET no less!!!”

"Yes...master..." Evil Cid whimpered as he curled up into a protective fetal ball.

"Well, I'm searching for the 'ANCIENT BOWL OF SURPRISE' piece. Know where I can find it?" asked Agent Axer towards Team Submarine Village.

Evil Cid uncurled himself from the fetal position. "Yeah, we have the piece," he informed only to be answered back by a smack to the back of the head from his two team mates.

"DON'T TELL THEM WE HAVE ONE OF THE PIECES!!!" Evil Shera and Evil Cait Sith yelled as they smacked him upside the head once again. They both let out a grunt of frustration as Cid covered his head in fear.

"Well, as our evil comrade just informed you," Evil Shera said with anger showing through her voice, "We have the piece but you won't be able to get unless…"

"…You challenge Evil Shera to 2 out of 3 game of Paper Rock Sciccors," Caith Sith finished as Evil Shera did a funny looking victory pose while dramatic lights shined behind her. The words 'PRS Champion!' flashed above her head

"That's right! I beat that stupid arsed RPS champion in Xenogears not 5...not 10...but 50 times in a row," she boasted, bending the truth JUST a *tad* bit. She really only won 5 times in a row and automatically declared herself as a "champion" but that’s a secret between the both of us…

"We'll see about THAT," Agent Axer said as he leaped in the sea and landed in front of Evil Shera. He balled his fist, "After I beat you down you'll be [FORMER] RPS Champ!"

"Yeah...maybe in your LOLLIPOP LAND!!!" mocked Evil Shera.

“But Shera,” whined the malevolent Cid as he stamped his foot, “This place IS kinda like a lollipop land!!!”

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Evil Shera then darted her head towards the evil cat and nodded. The robotic feline thwocked the evil pilot over the head with his megaphone.

“SHADDAP ya dope! She wasn’t talkin’ to ya!!” the cat screeched loudly.

Suddenly some benches appeared as both Cait Sith, and the marionette that is Ramsus, sat on them. Evil Cid, who was now recovering from his initial fear and shock from Evil Shera's revile scolding, was unofficial score keeper as he held up a bunch of numbers. Currently the score was Agent Axer-0 and Evil Shera-0.

Suddenly, a moogle in a ref's outfit bounded into the scene as it stood between Agent Axer and Evil Shera. "The rules are clear and simple...I want a good clean fight. Oh yeah, and the loser of this fight will be instantly DECAPITATED!!" the moogle said as a bell in the background rang to show that the RPS match has started, "LET'S GET IT ON!"

Both players glared at each other as silence filled the room, except for the incessant cheering of Evil Caith Sith. "Woooo! Yeaaaah! Go Evil Shera! Go Evil Shera! You go Miss Thang!" Evil Cait Sith cheered as Evil Cid raised an eyebrow at the cat's last comment. Agent Axer just looked at Ramsus who blinked his glassy wooden eyes.

"Hey! Aren't YOU going to cheer for me?" Agent Axer asked only to be replied with a heartless shrug from Ramsus.

"Frankly, I wouldn't mind seeing your head lobbed off after all the trouble you caused me in Solaris," Ramsus replied bitterly as he crossed his wooden arms together.

"Gee, thanks..." Agent Axer said sarcastically as he paid attention to the event at hand. (Heh, get it? Event at HAND? RPS? Hand?! Woo, I kill myself in the head…)

"ROCK, PAPER, SCICCORS" they both exclaimed as they chose their objects.

"Ha! Rock beats sciccors!" Evil Shera exclaimed as she smashed her 'Rock' on Agent Axer's 'Sciccors'.

"Owwwww!" Agent Axer yelled as he recoiled his hands in pain as it pulsed from the impact, “Sheesh…that smarts…”

The moogle in the ref's suit walked up to the mike and tapped into it only to be answered by a high pitched feed back. "Is this working...? Okay, that was round 1 with Axer - 0 and Evil Shera – 1."

With that said Evil Cid reached over to the score board and put a spiffy looking 1 in Evil Shera's side of the board. Evil Cait Sith still continued to cheer while throwing in a few "Go Ms Thang!" here and there, which only made Evil Cid raise an inquisitive eyebrow at his partner. Ramsus just yawned and waited for Agent Axer's head to be sliced off.

"Did you see THAT Johnny Chocobo?" said Nick Moomba, who of course was imitating Nick Diamond in this short installment of FPS3…except he looked like a moomba...and had the ability to speak.

"Wark wark!" was all that Johnny Chocobo replied as it darted its bird head too and fro. It pecked at the microphone, giving out another loud screeching feed back.

"Yes...well...anyways," Nick Moomba continued as a sweat drop appeared on his forehead, "Let's see a replay of round 1."

The TV screen in front of them fizzled and then showed the portion of the round in slow motion in which Agent Axer and Evil Shera were pounding their fists in the air, "Look at those intense look on their faces, the awsome pounding and then BOOM! The moment of truth as they open their palms to reveal a sciccors from Agent Axer and a rock from Evil Shera. Then look at Agent Axer's face as it was first plastered with utter shock and then by pain as Evil Shera decimates his hand with a pulverizing fist smash! Unbelievable!"

The Moomba announcer looked at Johnny Chocobo for a response only to find the bird darting its head randomly and then pecked at the TV. This caused Nick Moomba to sweat drop.

"A… anyways let's go on with Round 2..."

"Okay! Round 2! LET'S GET IT ON!" said the moogle ref as it rang a bell.

"Rock, Paper, Sciccors!" they both exclaimed as they chose their objects.

"Hah! Sciccors beats paper!" Axer exclaimed as he jabbed the ‘sciccors’ on Evil Shera's ‘paper’. He yelled out in pain as his hand was impaled between the fingers by her sharp nails.

"H, hello? This thing on…?" the ref moogle asked as more feed back was heard, "(ahem) That was round two and the score is Agent Axer - 1 and Evil Shera – 1."

No one cheered as Evil Cid put up a dull, bland looking one under Agent Axer's score. Evil Cait Sith then resumed cheering for Evil Shera and Ramsus was at the edge of his seat since he so desperately wanted to see Agent Axer's head be sliced off.

"Wow! Did you see THAT fantastic round Johhny Chocobo?" Nick Moomba asked as he looked at his co-worker who just pecked at the table, rattling it a bit.

"Anyways, let's see a replay shot of that again" Nick Moomba said as the TV screen fizzled as it showed the last round in slow motion.

"Man, this was a great round. Look at how Agent Axer chooses his carefully crafted object and Evil Shera replying with a look of anger strewn across her face," Nick Moomba said as the image froze and a large red circle went around Agent Axer's sciccors then around Evil Shera's face.

"Then, look at how Agent Axer dives his hand forward to retaliate against Evil Shera’s last attack, only to get a nail jabbed in between his fingers. He recoils his palm back as he screams in utter pain," the moomba said as he circled the hand with little stars pointed to it to indicate pain and then a large circle around Agent Axer's face to show the look of agony.

"What do you say about THAT Johnny Chocobo?" he asked his co-announcer only to dart it's head around like a chicken and then peck continually at the screen.

"Er...anyway," said Nick Moomba as he sweat dropped much, "Now we're off to round 3!"

"It's time for round 3! Let's get it on!!" the moogle ref said as he banged the bell with a cartoon mallet.

"Rock, Paper, Sciccors!" both opponents exclaimed as they chose their objects.

Evil Shera's face contorted with confusion and anger as she stared at Agent Axer's hand "What the HFIL IS THAT PIECE OF #$^% &*&@$ #$&(&(#$^ &^!"

"Oh THAT?" Agent Axer grinned and pointed at the object he chose, "That is the nuclear bomb, that's perfectly legal in RPS."

"!@#$ %^&*() (*& %#%&( &^$# $&)(_* %#$^*))_(&% $ ##$^ *)(_)(% #$^*()__(&*^$%$$%^&*(( ) ))*%$ #$#@ @%*)(^% $ ##@ @!! %*)() (^$# ^*)(^ $@#^%^*^&( %% $ (so on and so forth)," Evil Shera swore outloud as she flailed her arms in the air.

"Wow...Evil Shera pulled...a, well…an Evil Shera," said Evil Cait Sith in complete and utter shock.

"Damn...if Evil Shera lost, that means..." Ramsus said and was cut off as a figure dropped from the ‘sky’ (or what looked like the sky anyway even though they were in a "sea" of clocks) and landed in front of Evil Shera.

"Oh, will you LOOK at that Johnny Chocobo! It's none other than the bad ass himself, Gilgamesh! And he looks like he's ready to chop some heads off here, right?" he asked his partner only to reply by darting it's head around like a chicken and peck the microphone again, sending another ear piercing screeching feed back.

Four swords landed around Gilgamesh as it began to do it's 'Roulette of Death' while choosing his weapon of choice (also note that the song, “Weapon of Choice” was playing in the background too). Then, it stopped in front of the rustiest and dullest blade possible, which was, of course, Excalipoor (Which is NOT included in the action figure box...damn).

"My God Johnny! He's actually choosing the most rustiest and dullest blade to inflict MAXIMUM pain and damage possible!" Nick Moomba said as his jaw dropped in shock but Johnny Chocobo replied by pecking at the table again.

Gilgamesh reared its weapon back but then Evil Shera summoned a cheesy Brave Fencer Musashi portal to appear in front of her. A figure appeared in front of her as the new person looked around in confusion.

"Hey....what the..." Agent Aya said but then her head was lobbed off by Excalipoor.

"Oh my GOD, you sent Agent Aya to the NEXT DIMENSION...no wait we're already in the next dimension so that would mean..." Agent Axer said as he mumbled to himself about the ramifications of the phrase 'NEXT DIMENSION' when he was already there.

"You kick ass bastard!" replied Evil Cait Sith as the bad ass hombre, Gilgamesh, dissapeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Wow, did you see THAT Johnny Chocobo?! Let's see an instant replay of that!" Nick Moogle said as the screen fizzled to show a replay of Round 3.

"Look at what happens when Gilgamesh is summoned and carefully chooses the most painful instrument of death," he said as Gilgamesh's Excalipoor was circled in red, "Then watch as how Evil Shera summons a *very* cheesy Brave Fencer Musashi portal just as Gilgamesh is raising his weapon in the air."

"Wark wark!" Johnny Chocobo replied as it pecked the Gilgamesh on the screen a few times. A furry paw pushed its face away.

"Then watch the expression on Agent Aya's face as she sees Gilgamesh swing down at her jugular and lob her head off like a party popper being popped at a party!" Nick Moomba said as he froze the screen and circled Agent Aya's head in the air and then her body, clearly showing the separation.

"Let's see that again!" Nick Moomba said as he rewound the death scene and watched it.

"Again!"

Rewinds.

"And again!"

Rewinds.

"And again and AGAIN!!!"

Johnny Chocobo pecked at Nick Moomba to stop. "Ow! Stop that!" Nick Moomba said as he defended himself from the onslaught of Johnny Chocobo's attacks. Nick Moomba then gasped as he looked at the fighting ring to see an 'ANCIENT BOWL OF SURPRISE' piece floating down in between Agent Axer and Evil Shera.

"Will you look at that! Why it's the 'ANCIENT BOWL OF SURPRISE!' piece! And look, Johnny Chocobo, it looks like both fighters are stunned and are wating to see who makes the first move to grab the thing," Nick Moomba announced excitedly as he watched both opponents gaze longingly at the piece. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife...and so the tension was literally cut with a knife that appeared out of nowhere, slicing it into bits and pieces.

It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop...a so a pin did drop from out of nowhere as it made it's slow decent past the floating 'ANCIENT BOWL OF SURPRISE' piece and towards the ground. Knowing the 64th dimension, an ordinary pin drop could release a hoard of sloths, a bunch of ravenous Chu-Chu Yuffie's or worse...

"Look behind you!" Agent Axer said as he pointed behind Evil Shera.

"What?" she said as she looked behind her.

"Ha ha! FOOOOOOLLLLLEEEDDDD YYYOOOOOUUUU!" taunted Agent Axer as he grabbed the piece just as the pin hit the ground.

Instead of a resounding and echoing "ping"-ing noise it immedietly released an explosion equivalent to an atomic bomb as it blew everyone off their feet and threw them away like rag dolls. However, in Ramsus' case, he was thrown back like a marionette.

"Looks like Team Submarine Village is blasting off again....!" the Team yelled as they flew through the ionosphere of the sea.

"Woooow! That explosion was so awsome! What a way to end our match for today, right Johnny Chocobo?" asked Nick Moomba as he was desperatly clutching onto the table so that he would not be blown away.

"Wark wark!" replied Johnny Chocobo as he began to peck rapidly at his co-host.

"Ow! I'm Nick Moomba-OW- and this is -OW- Johnny Chocobo wishing you an -OW- good fight, good night! Ow! Will you stop THAT?" exclaimed Nick Moomba as he smacked his co-star across the head while his body flailed in the air from the explosion of the pin drop.

Agent Axer and Ramsus sailed through the sea and out into the space of the 64th dimension, containing mostly of golf balls and tee holes.

"Gee, I wonder if I'll be able to meet up with the others now that I have one of the bowl pieces."

Ramsus just shrugged in response. "Feh, I was hoping you'd get decapitated…" he grumbled.

Agent Axer just blew a rasberry at him.

"I KNEW we shouldn'tve come in here! What if there isn't such a thing as a Bowl of Surprise? We might as well be wasting our time!" Seraphita complained, only to prompt Benit to yell:

"Shut up!"

Her impulse of Sailor Moon references was over, but she still kept getting socks in her mouth, apart from her eyes changing colours and coins trickling down her short-sleeves shirt, which was perfectly fine with her. Tolone and Seraphita were still missing body parts, but they gave it up a while ago.

"Hmmm?" Tolone wondered as she walked in front of a Black Hole. Benit and Seraphita followed suit.

"What's in there?" Tolone nervously wondered.

"I volunteer Benit to go in!" Seraphita said nastily as she pushed the surprised Agent into the hole. She was surrounded by darkness, but nothing happened to her.

"It's okay! Get in here, you two!" Agent Benit coaxed. The other two shook in fear of the dark, but slowly complied, stepping in. The hole closed behind them, leaving them totally in pure blackness. Tolone screamed, Seraphita crawled to a fetal position and Benit could only mutter, "Spoony them all." Benit attempted to walk, and hit a rock wall.

"If only Neko was here, then we'd have a flashlight in hand. What the spoony is going on here!? And only for a freakin' piece of a bowl!" Benit said as she felt her hands across the wall.

She couldn't hear the other two, which was fine with her: they were starting to get annoying. Suddenly, she felt a light switch flick by her hand.

"Ah. Here we go," Benit replied and flicked it on. Lights appeared, and the three of them found themselves in a cave once again, but with a startling new (and sleeping) visitor: Bahamut.

"HOLY...!" Benit began to yell, but covered her mouth and shook. Tolone and Seraphita were right next to the dragon's stomach and they crawled away, sweat pouring like Niagara Falls.

They slowly edged away from Bahamut as much as possible (which they preferred to be about twenty dimensions away) before it was safe for them to talk.

"Good...grief! Talk about...bad...days!" Tolone shook. Benit took several large breaths to regain her composure.

"Okay. Are we all human again? Good, cuz we need to get outta here before we're flared into chicken wings, got it? The Bowl of Surprise is definitely NOT here!" Benit said.

"Are you so sure about that? I thought I saw a piece of ceramic stuck in his foot," Seraphita replied. Benit slapped her head, then asked, "You're telling me...that the piece is stuck in Bahamut's foot, and we have to get it out while he's sleeping???"

"That’s basically it, yeah," Tolone answered, only to have Benit sweatdrop. She then stood up and walked slowly over to Bahamut's sleeping area, the smoke from his snoring engulfing her in quiet coughing.

Nice and slowly...nice and slowly.... she thought nervously as she managed to duck under the miracuously swinging tail. Finally, she found the piece Seraphita referred to stuck in his foot. Benit grabbed a hold of it and began to pull.

After several attempts, it finally came free and Benit tiptoed away from Bahamut, not even wanting to look at his foot now. Tolone and Seraphita looked around their corner and found the Agent successibly holding the Bowl of Surprise piece. Unfortunately, Tolone hit the table and a pin dropped.

Deep in space, three days from the Planet by [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok], there was a great race in progress. Two Estharian Warships, the [Ragnarok] and its sister-ship, the [Buttercup]. The [Buttercup] looked similar to the lead ship with the exception of its black paint job. Both ships were menacingly slow.

Aboard the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok], Agent the Captain paced feverishly across the bridge. His helmsman, a GF named MINOTAUR, and the weapons officer, the GF SACRED, watched their captain anxiously tread back and forth across the vessel's bridge, occassionally stopping to check the viewscreen. On the large monitor there could be seen the onyx-hued vessel that slowly pursued them. At this present course, it would take one and a half days for the second ship to overtake them. That would be one day too late.

Aboard the [Buttercup], its Russian captain chuckled evilly. Trainer the Captain would at last conquer his weak-kneed counterpart, Agent the Captain. At the controls below him, several EVIL Pokémon manned their stations at the ready for the distant, yet upcoming, conflict.

"Captain!" bellowed Mr. Chupon from his station, "We'll get those guys in two days!"

"I ahm aware, comrade," barked the evil Pokémon trainer, "Bet keep me pohsted."

Outside the slow moving space ships, discarded space debris whizzed past them, suns rose and set all around and satellites orbited their course as if they had been stationary planets. The chase was on!

"*WE GET SIGNAL!" boomed the on-board computer of the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok].

Agent the Captain hurried over to the communications station and activated the receiver.

"*This is Princess Q," the voice on the other end urgently announced, "*Cid's been kidnapped. There's no other explaination. Anyone a Bad Enough Dude to rescue Cid?"

"I'M A BAD ENOUGH DUDE!!!" shouted Agent the Captain at the top of his lungs, proudly holding his fist in the air. He qickly turned to his helmsman, MINOTAUR. "Full speed ahead!"

MINOTAUR and SACRED looked puzzled at their captain for a few minutes before the elder brother spoke up, "We're goin' as fast as we can ALREADY, you idiot!"

There were only two days left til the arrival of The Captain give or take depending on how well the author of this post has been keeping track. Not to mention Pikacthulu has completed his training with Kaio-sama.

"You've completed your training, eventhough it took you much less time than that Goku guy....of course, this is a fanfic. That's why some of my jokes are actually funny.... Now, let's review what you've learned. Try the Poké Bomb." King Kai lifted a block into the air and threw it at Pikacthulu. North Kaio never really trained Pikacthulu much in using the Poké Bomb, and hoped that the block would crush him.

Pikacthulu reached into himself with concentration and tapped his inner most ki and strength. Pikacthulu formed a huge ball of ki and threw it into the block. The block exploded and sharpnel flew everywhere. King Kai sweatdropped.

"I would have taught you Genki Dama, but Goku put copyrights on it. That's why it was called Spirit Bomb in the dub. Poké Bomb invokes your innermost power and uses it entirely to form an ultimate attack. Any mishaps with the Poké Bomb could kill you, that's why I want to use it as much as possible. As with Kaio-ken. Use it as much as you please and as high as you please, it could never kill your from having too much energy." Kaio-sama coughed. "Oh my gosh! I never took into consideration in my calculation about how long it will take you to travel Snake Way!"

"bUt It ToOk Me ThE eNtIrE bAcKsToRy Of A fAnFiC tO tRaVeL iT!" Pikcthulu exclaimed, "i ThOuGhT yOu'D zAp Me BaCk Or SoMeThInG!"

"You see it doesn't work like that," King Kai reprimanded, "I can't just zap you anywhere."

"i'Ll ZaP yOu!" Pikacthulu exclaimed.

"Now, wait, it will only take you two days to reach the check in station," Kaio-sama replied, "You’re much faster now. Now hurry up I'm going to open a channel to one of your friends."

"pAgInG aSh KeTcHuM!" Pikacthulu exclaimed.

On The Captain's ship Ash was hiding in his corner awaiting the delayed arrival to the Planet.

"pAgInG aSh KeTcHuM!" Pikacthulu's voice boomed in Ash's head exclaimed.

"Pikacthulu?" Ash questioned.

"yEs, DiD yOu GeT tHe DrAgOn BaLlS?"

"Um....I got two..."

"wHaT!?"

"The Captain had one on him and I had to follow him to another planet and whatnot. We should be landing in two days."

"i WaNtEd To Be BaCk By ThEn! i WaNt ThE eLeMeNt Of SurPrIsE!"

"Uh, I could use an escape pod. The escape pods are faster than the Ragnarok itself, I could get there in a day."

"dO iT!!"

Ash climbed into an escape pod and blasted off.

"Um, I nEeD tO mAkE aNoThEr CaLl," Pikacthulu sneered and changed his voice to mimic Alys'."Paging Gabriel Knight and Rune Walsh."

At St. George's Bookshop.

Gabriel walked out of his room.

"Good morning sunshine," Gracie's voice was, as usual, poisoned with sarcasm.

"Uhhhh...." Gabriel replied.

"There's a fresh pot on the table," Grace pointed out. Gabe poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I had the weirdest dream," Gabriel started.

"It’s from watching the dubbed version of Dragon Ball Z," Grace said, "You know that show is bad for your Karma."

"But you watch it too."

"I watch the Japanese version."

"Figures....but that's not what the dream was about. Alys came to me and..."

"That's enough," Grace interupted, "I don't want to hear the rest of it."

"No, it’s not like that," Gabriel replied, "We're supposed to wait for Rune to show up in the Landale. He's going to take us to the Planet so we can give Alys my Dragon Ball."

"I thought you said watching dubbed DBZ didn't cause this."

"Well, you should be leaving now," King Kai said, "You don't want to be late."

Pikacthulu ignited his ki and took off with saying,"gOoD rIdDaNcE!" Pikacthulu gathered a mixture of ki and electricity and blew up Kaio-sama's planet.

Tao Pika Pika blocked ten menacing slasher attacks with his sword. The five Alyses jumped into the air and started slashing with their Moonslashers and all of their attacks were blocked by his sword. Tao Pika Pika then smacked all the Alyses to the ground.

Two copy Alyses jumped at Tao Pika Pika. "Shockwave Pulsar!" Tao Pika Pika replied. Electricity engulfed the two copies and vaporized them. The real Alys reeled in pain as a part of herself was killed.

"Thunder!" Tao Pika Pika brought down a lightning bolt from the heavens that exploded another Alys copy. Tao Pika Pika then turned and fired a ki blast through another copy. Alys cried in pain.

"Why aren't you dying!?" Tao Pika Pika exclaimed in frustration,"A normal person would have been killed by that. "PIKA.....PIKA.....PI!" Tao Pika Pika fired a beam of ki and electricity at Alys.

"Deban!" Alys cried out and created a shield with her remaining energy. The Pika-Pika-Pi slammed into the Deban and broke it. The blast pounded into Alys' abdmomen, but didn't kill her. Alys doubled over and coughed up blood. "I wish this was the dub," Alys said wiping blood from her face.

Tao Pika Pika lifted his sword and brought it down on Alys' neck. But he was suddenly interupted as he was hit by a GMC 1982 Custom Van.

"I pity the foo' that messes with ROCKSLIDE!" Mr.T exclaimed.

"Silly human," Tao Pika Pika sneered and ran at Mr.T with his sword. Tao Pika Pika's sword clashed with Mr.T's chains and broke the sword. Mr.T knocked the air out of Tao Pika Pika and then tossed his ass. Tao Pika Pika quickly collided with a mountain. His scouter beeped. "Helluva high power level, I can't face that! I've got an idea." Tao Pika Pika flew at Mr.T and unleashed a Pika-Pika-Pi. The blast collided with Mr.T, but did not damage him. It only threw him 20 miles away.

"Cure3!" Celes healed most of Alys' wounds. Then Celes swung at Tao Pika Pika with her sword, but it was parried with a new sword from a capsule. Tao Pika Pika swung in return and cracked her Minerva Band. Agent1469 fired some shotgun shells into Tao Pika Pika, but he was otherwise uneffected. Tao Pika Pika knocked the air out of him by a simple kick to the stomach. D took a swing at Tao Pika Pika and severed his arm in reply. D picked up his limb arm and reattatched it. "I pity the Pikafoo'!" Pikafoo' exclaimed and ran towards Tao Pika Pika, but Tao Pika Pika simply trapped him in a Pokéball.

"Hey, give me back my Pokémon!" Agent CAM exclaimed and jumped into the air and started a attack. Agent Gray Fox and Alys started to do the same.

"What!?" Tao Pika Pika exclaimed looking through his scouter,"Their power levels are rising." He looked at CAM. "100,000." He looked at Gray Fox. "125,000." He looked at Alys. "300,000 and still rising!"

"KOUHI...HAME...HA!" Agent CAM release his "Coffee Destruction Blast" at Tao Pika Pika.

"Makkensappo!" Agent Gray Fox relesaed his "Screw Beam of the Devil" at Tao Pika Pika.

"PIKA..PIKA..PI!" Tao Pika Pika attacked in reply. The assassin manipulated his attack to divide in two and dissipate Gray And CAM's attacks. But he totally forgot about Alys.

"MEEEEEGGGGGIDDDDDDD!!!!!" Alys cried.

"Oh my God!" Tao Pika Pika exclaimed, "550,000! I can't block that."

Alys release a modified NaFoi that slammed into Tao Pika Pika's palms as he tried to block it. With her other hand she fired 20 Fois that rained down on Tao Pika Pika. Then Alys waved her hands and there was a huge explosion engulfing Tao Pika Pika. When the smoke cleared there was only a crater with Tao Pika Pika who was now only wearing a tattered pair of Future Trunks and a scouter with a cracked lense standing in the center of it. "How....?"

"My armor and reinforced spandex suit could block that," Tao Pika Pika replied and clocked their power levels again. "Gee, where'd all that power go." Tao Pika Pika smirked.

"Um, could you do that again Alys?" Gray asked.

"No, I used all my power..." Alys replied sullenly and clutching her sides.

"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Tao Pika Pika cried.

Jet Alone continued to press on towards becoming a ball of flaming nuclear death as Marinebasher and Bladegash did their best to push back the advancing mech.

Ekans, having aquired the bowl of surprise piece, ran down the floppy arm of JA and onto Bladegash. Then Jet Alone simply stopped.

A panel fell off of the back and a huge, glowing nuclear battery fell out onto the ground. Then a large pink rabbit marched past the trio of mecha while beating on a drum. Unfortuately, Bladegash and Marinebasher where still pushing on Jet Alone, and it fell over backwards, crushing the bunny.

All three mecha vanished into thin air and the trio fell down into a river full of more floppy clocks.

"That was weird as HFIL," Dominia observed.

"But we got our part of the bowl," Brandon said, treading water clocks.

The threesome found some inflatable clocks floating on the other liquid clocks and they began to drift over some clock rapids and into a cavern.

"Look!" Ekans exclaimed, paddling over to the edge of the stream, "Check that out!"

In another part of the cavern, a set of stairs led up to a golden Tonberry idol. Its' hands where extended forward empty rather than in their usual knife and latern holding positions.

"This looks strangely familiar," Kelvena said, approaching the statue.

"You don't suppose it's the Evil Tonberi-mani statue?" Ekans suggested, "That could explain the presence of liquid clocks."

"The Tonberi-main statue?"

"Yes," Ekans said, "It's said to be an alien relic with the power to create a bizzare world of illusions and general oddity. Perhaps placing a completed bowl in it's hands will get us out of here."

Then a loud roar echoed down the cave's halls.

In Narshe, the remaining members of the Amish Vomit Keg were trudging up the side of the mountain, working their way to the spring from which the moogle community got their water. However, unlike A FPS Christmas, they remembered to bundle up. Eventually, they found their goal, and the illustrious Dr. Mayhem uncorked the vial of Attitude, and poured it into the water supply…

"Kupo kupopupo!" said Kuppi.

"Kupo, Kuppi kupo kupupo," said Koppo.

"Kupopi, kupo kupo?" suggested Kuppi.

"Kupo!" agreed Koppo, as they both made their way down to the cave's water basin.

When they got there, they both kneeled down and took a sip before they continued their conversation.

But the conversation did not continue as planned. Kuppi's eyes snapped open. "KUUUUUUUUUUPOOOOOO!!!!" [translation: *@#$&%*#@^&@#$^*#$%^!!!!]

Koppo stared at Kuppi, and said, "Kupo! Kuppi kupopupo kupo... KUUUUUUUUPOOOOOOOO!!!!" [translation: Woah! Kuppi just pulled a.... @#*%&#$@*&%@#$*%#!!!!]

They then proceded to beat each other up.

This was witnessed by Mog, who was about to take a drink himself. He looked at the water, and then backed away. I have to warn the others! he thought to himself. He hurried up to the main gathering area, and was witness to another horriffic scene. Every moogle in the settlement was on a furious rampage.

Just then, a figure walked into the doorway. He had his pinky raised to his lips. He started to speak, and all of the recently deranged moogles stopped to listen to him. Mog was too far away to hear what the figure was saying, but when he left, all of the moogles followed him out. The man was lovable, but Mog thought there might be bad intentions about. He left to find a way to contact Celes, who he knew could get help.

The pin impacted with the ground, and Bahamut opened his eyes. Benit and the Elements could only freeze in position as they saw the dragon rise and face them, particuarly the agent with the peice in her hand.

"Like bloody hell. We were screaming and shouting while he slept, and yet a quiet pin drop is enough to make him cranky," Benit retorted. Tolone and Seraphita went around the corner, Benit following suit as Bahamut narrowed his eyes. Then he roared.

"What the spoony was that!?" Ekans yelled as he heard a high pitched roar from the other end of the cave. Dominia and Kelvena could only shudder as Ekans went along down the cave, away from the Tonberry-like statue.

Soon, they heard a familiar voice yell, "Blank Check!" and a crash of wall. Ekans recognized the voice instantly and brandished his Progressive Fish in hand.

"I wonder how I'd taste like," Tolone wondered stupidly. Benit was at the back of the line, keeping the dragon off at bay with her Limit Breaks, while saying, "You wanna volunteer to find out!?"

"No, thankyouverymuch."

"Then let's move out!!!!"

They ran for awhile, then the agent had a plan. Benit told the other two to go on ahead and stopped to face Bahamut with whatever she had going for her, which wasn't much. He stopped in return. Silence filled the cave.

Finally, he spoke. "What are you doing here? Mortals are not allowed here!"

"Sez you. You don't even know anything about what's going on back home." With that, she decided to explain to him what was going on with the tea scandal, and the real ingredient that seemed to take the galaxies by storm. Bahamut pursed his eyebrow (if he had one).

"Interesting. So that's what happened to my bloody tea," he said.

Yeah right, he drinks it too? Benit thought, then told him why she, and her other fellow Agents and enemies were here to get the four pieces of the Bowl of Surprise, and one was stuck in his foot.

"Weird plot contriviance, I must say. I dreamt I was a moron," Bahamut replied, only to have Benit sweatdrop.

"So...uh..can you let us go without becoming flared chicken wings?" Benit asked, with a double creamed ice cream with a red cherry on the top in her hands.

"No. I'm getting very bored of these chats. Celebrety Deathmatch, you and me, it'll determine who'll live," Bahamut said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh." Benit could only take out her glaive. This was going to be a plot contriviance that betrayed all the rules of the trilogy, apart from Mothmen and Saddam Hussein.

The cave suddenly became a stadium and the two fighters went to their respective locker rooms. A cheering crowd could be heard everywhere as Ekans and all four Elements came running up.

"What in the HFIL is going on here!?" Ekans could only yell as a billet salesperson came up and asked them, "Do you have your tickets ready?"

"Huh? Who're we betting for?"

"Benit versus Bahamut."

"SPOONY! *(^#@#$&*!!!"

The speakers turned on and a larger than life high pitched sound stuck a knife in everyone's ears, collapsing some of them. Ekans and the Elements could only push several bystanders away and took their seats.

The announcers Johnny Moomba and a replacement Sephiroth came online.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another rare round of Celebrety Deathmatch! As you can recall, we had a spectacular round with Agent Artemis versus Agent 'the Captain' gone Russian mafia, but it seems we have MORE at stake than Aya's life!" Johnny Moomba said.

"That's right, Johnny. One is staking for their reputation and making a weird contriviance, the other to get out of it and their life on the line! Who are these combatants?"

"Well, we obviously know it's the King of Monsters versus the Coin Minter Extraordinaire (which I must admit I wanna date, but I don't wanna risk becoming shish-kebab starting at my @$$)." Much aroused laughter was heard.

"Bahamut is indeed someone we've rarely have here, wielding the power to mega flare someone and probably slash them to ribbons with his updated claws from a manicure yesterday. On the other hand, Benit here is probably the only character who fights with money and doesn't have any form of Slots Limit Break, unlike three others who have. She holds the mighty rare Saturn Rhapsody glaive and has two known Limit Attacks called Gold Rush and Blank Check. Indeed, it'll be a tough match," Sephiroth explained.

"Well, I think the fighters are ready here. I say let's get this show on the road!" Moomba announced, arousing a yell of excitement from everyone else.

"He is mighty insane to make me do this. Is he high on Evebuck's for crying outloud?" Benit said to herself as she stepped into the ring. Bahamut stepped into the ring himself. The referee walked up to each fighter and told them the rules (no ear biting, no Miracles or anything stupid). Couldn't he let us have some fun? both fighter wondered at the same time.

"LET'S GET READY TO RRRRRRUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLEEEEE!!!!!!" the announcer yelled.

"You're mine!" Bahamut yelled as he attempted to slash Benit, but he missed her entirely.

"Look, I dunno WHAT you're on, but this' confusing everybody everywhere! This makes no sense!" Benit protested as she ducked under another swipe.

"So? Tell that to someone who cares!" he retorted, surprisingly kicking her on the chin.

"Oh! Bahamut managed to kick her, that sly weasel. Oh wait! Benit came back up easily and swiped him with her polearm! Now they're both pissed off and the battle hasn't even begun!" Moomba announced.

"My my, Bahamut's going for the Mega Flare too early! The minter's gathering her own energy for her own attack! WAIT! She's defending herself! Better kiss your ass byebye," Sephiroth said as he waved his bet in the air, in Bahamut's favour.

"Hey shut up! My ticket will be lucky!" Mooba yelled, holding his ticket in Benit's favour. Both of the announcers duked it out by themselves.

The Mega Flare was shot right in her direction. An explosion occurred, sending three people through the roof. Everyone else was buckled up for the experience. The dust settled down, but Benit was still there.

"WHAT!? That's impossible!" Bahamut yelled in distress.

"I don't think so, if you can piss me off enough to activate my defensive Limit, Stainless Steel!" Benit said. Bahamut roared and went for her with lightning attacks, shocking her quite well, but she built up a resistance thanks to Bob the SOCOM Pikachu shocking her enough times.

She remembered that she had Doomtrain in her favour and summoned him in no time flat. The summon/train chugged along his destined course, going faster and faster, finally colliding against the rafters and slamming into Bahamut. He left his junctionee happy.

"AAKKK!! I'm blind!" the dragon yelled. He cast a Stop spell on Benit and she couldn't avoid it. She was frozen still. Unfortunately, unlike the game, he couldn't hear her at all, so he couldn't find her. Finally, Benit unfroze and found Bahamut desperately looking for his enemy.

"Awright! Time to get out of this contriviance, go home and tell Princess about the secret!" Benit yelled and the red aura flared around her.

"GOLD RUSH!" Her favourite limit break came into effect, pounding Bahamut with crystals, gems, coins and other precious minerals. Then he was knocked out.

"Awright!" Benit did her victory pose of holding her weapon in two hands and bowing towards her enemy, a la Kiros. "Empty that pot o'gold! It's danger to me eyes!" she said her signature phrase as the stadium cleared out, the Elements and Ekans cheering by themselves. Bahamut slumped down and slept again.

"Hey Ekans! Didn't see you at all. You have your peice? I have mine!" Benit said excitedly as she ran down the corridor.

"I think adrenaline is her version of Jolt/Ultamite Tea," Ekans could only say as they followed her.

For thirty minutes straight, Agent Axer blew a rasberry at Ramsus who just looked back at him irritably.

"Will you PLEASE stop that!" Ramsus shouted.

Agent Axer stopped, glared at him, and then continued to rasberry him to his hearts content. He was still angry about Ramsus' comment earlyer in their "space" voyage. Suddenly, a loud 'THWOK'-ing sound was heard, followed by a "Four out of five is a winner!" as a massive golf ball zoomed towards the floating duo. The ball smacked right into them, delivering the two into a different direction.

"AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!" exclaimed Ramsus as his marionette body clattered haphazardly from the speed of the golf ball.

"Yaaaaahhhhoooooiiiieeeeee!!!" yelled Agent Axer as water came pouring out of his ears.

As the two continued screaming for dear life they entered in a golf hole. Then they heard a booming voice proclaim, "A hole in one is me!" Instead of hitting rock bottom the two continued to sail into the dark abyss as they felt the golf ball dissapear. During their descent they could see a bright green light below them which was the only source that illuminated the void.

"Is that...? Is that…Holy?" asked Agent Axer to himself as both he and Ramsus accelerated faster and faster into the darkness.

"That's not Holy!" exclaimed Ramsus as a realization struck him, "It's....!"

'SHLOP!' was the sound their bodies made as it collided in a GIGANTIC massive bowl of greenish jello and sunk pretty deep into the dish. All movement ceased between the two since the jello was so...jello-ey...that it was difficult to traverse out of the bowl.

"...Jello," Ramsus finished his sentence and found that even though he was not capable of moving he could still speak.

"Yuck! Jello?! It's almost as bad as twinkies!" complained Agent Axer as he struggled to move,"I mean, there's probably NOTHING organic in jello."

"Not true, I heard that jello is made out of cow hooves and such," Ramsus informed.

"Yuck!" replied Agent Axer as a giant shadow loomed over them, "What the flyin' flannigan' flay...?"

"Oh Evil Ssssshhhheeerrrraaaa! I made some jeeeellloooo for yyyyoooouuuuu!" said a male voice as the bowl was lifted from the void and was now being carried towards the woman.

"Why the hell are you so pansy #@$^% all of a sudden. It's almost as if your 'attitude', if you had any to begin with, was taken from you or something," Evil Shera said angrily as she jerked the bowl away from, “Perhaps something happened to your counter-part…”

"Ah! Well I am appalled," Evil Cid said as he put his hand over his heart, “That hurts my petite heart like the dickens!”

"Hey! There's two flies in this jello that look just like Agent Axer and Ramsus," observed Evil Shera as she looked at the two tiny figures in the large bowl of jello, "Let's squish them!"

"Yeah!" agreed Evil Cid as they both took out large rusty sporks.

"Yikes!" exclaimed both Agent Axer and Ramsus as they found the strength to navigate themselves in the jello. The two rusty sporks stabbed into the place they used to occupy.

"Shoot! We missed! Well, here goes nothin'!" Evil Shera exclaimed as she stabbed her rusty spork in only to miss once more.

So, for a few minutes the jello was continually jabbed over and over only to miss the cunning and agile duo. Of course the more jabbing that continued the more of the jello that would be ripped out until only a minscule amount remained.

"Hah! You can't get away now! You have no jello room to hide and run in!" exclaimed Evil Shera as she raised her rusty spork malevolently.

"Yeah!" copied Evil Cid as he, too, raised his own rusty spork.

"I didn't tell you to speak!" she scolded as she smacked Evil Cid upside the head.

"Owwww! You're such a priss!" Evil Cid said in a lispy girly voice.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU @#$^&%@#!@!#@$^%&$@$#$%....!!!" Evil Shera swore as she began to claw Evil Cid down with her nails.

"Oh you're going down you (explitive deleted)!!!" Evil Cid said as he began to slash and claw at Evil Shera as a massive cat fight ensued between the two as "@#$^$" and "(explitive deleted)" were verbally used back and forth continually.

"How...strange...a cat fight between Evil Shera and Evil Cid...." commented Agent Axer as he pondered on the situation.

"Hey! What's this thing?" asked Ramsus as he found a cork plug in the middle of the bowl and jerked it open.

Suddenly, a vortex was released as it began to suck the contents of the bowl within it's spirally center.

"Aaaaaah!" yelled the two as they were pulled in and everything turned into darkness.

"Oh karp...I can't see! And this time, it isn’t because I looked at the naked Yuffie pictures," said a male voice.

"It...was on accident...right...?" asked the other male voice.

"…yeah," replied the other male voice and immedietly changed the subject, "Hey, I think there's a light switch."

So Ramsus flipped the light switch and in front of them was the Evil Tonberi-mani statue.

"Ooooh!" said Agent Axer as his voice sounded like those green aliens from Toy Story, "It's the CLAW…I mean, it's the Evil Tonberi-mani statue!"

"Let's smash it!" said Ramsus as he wielded a giant mallet over his shoulders.

"Wait, you FOOL! Don't you have any brains?" Agent Axer asked as he knocked on Ramsus' puppet head only to hear a hollow sound from within, "Ooops, guess not."

"Aw, SHUT-UP!" replied Ramsus as he bashed Agent Axer over the head instead.

"Ouchies," whimpered Agent Axer as he fell to the floor with stars circling over his head.

"Ramsus!" Four girl voices squealed in delight as bubbly hearts appeared above their heads.

"Oh GOD…not the Elements!!!” grumbled Ramsus as he smacked his wooden hand on his wooden forhead, creating a CLUNK sound.

"Hey guys!" replied Agent Benit as she returned from her recent Celeberty Death Match battle, "Did you get the other ANCIENT BOWL OF SURPRISE piece too?"

"Yup! Right here!" said Agent Axer who shook his head to shake the stars out as they fell out of orbit. He took out his piece.

"Hey guys! I got mine too!" said Trainer Phantom Ghost as he entered the shrine, "I went into this ghost town and they were selling it for only a cheap price of an immortal soul."

"Um...don't tell me you sold your immortal soul Phantom..." asked Ekans skeptically as he raised an eyebrow at him.

"Nah, I wouldn't do THAT. I just sold them Glover's and Yuffie's soul which I just found floating around. Nobody needs that," said Phantom cooly as he showed his 4th piece at them.

"Okay guys! Let's put the pieces together!" Agent Axer said as they approached the Evil Tonberi-mani statue.

"Oooh, Ramsus, I'm glad you're okay" sighed the Elements simultaneously as their bubbly hearts above their heads tripled in size.

"Is there any girl out there that won't go ga-ga over me?" muttered Ramsus as he smacked his wooden head, still creating a hollow sound.

"I won't," Benit said with a snide smile as she placed her part of the Bowl of Surprise.

Ramsus could only glare at her and reply, "Any girl, excluding you, I mean."

"How convenient. And I'm supposed to be threatened by that?" Benit retorted. Benit and Ramsus glared at each other for a few minutes until Axer pushed both of them away from their faces.

Phantom and Ekans took the completed 'Bowl of Surprise' and placed it into the hands of the Tonberi-Mani statue.

At first, it didn't appear to have any effect, but soon a star-shaped shadow appeared from within the bowl, and it expanded to overtake the world around the agents. Then it was replaced by a psychadelic glow, coming from all around, but the Statue still stood in it's place. A psychic blast of energy shot from the Tonberi-Mani statue, and Ekans quickly brought out his Thopmaster 2002™ to deflect the blast.

The big black box of words filled the air again.

[Evil Tonberi-Mani attacked!]
[Agent Axer attacks! 134 Damage to Evil Tonberi-Mani!]
[Agent Benit employed a coin tossing attack! 342 Damage to Evil Tonberi-Mani!]
[Evil Tonberi-Mani used PSI Doinkstorm ß! 201 damage to Agent Axer! 232 damage to Agent Benit! 205 damage to Solid Ekans! 199 damage to Phantom Ghost!]
[Phantom Ghost tried the big Pokébottle Rocket! 521 damage to Evil Tonberi-Mani!]
[Solid Ekans utilited a thoping attack! 89 Damage to Evil Tonberi-Mani. The thop struck again! 92 Damage to Evil Tonberi-Mani!]

"What the fluff is going on here?" Axer exclaimed, "This place is even more drug-influenced than the rest of this dimension."

"We seem to be trapped in some kind of turn-based battle," Ekans observed, "And our party is limited to 4...so I guess the Elements and Ramsus are trapped outside the trippy background."

"It looks like the next turn is about to start," said Benit, "We can't take many more omnidoinks. We need a plan."

"I think I may have a means of boosting our chances," Ekans said, "I just hope this attack goes early on next turn."

"All right," said Axer, "And I think I may have a way to keep that thing from frying us with psychic doinks..."

[Solid Ekans utilized Bright Spoon 3-"For Great Justice!" Agent Axer's HP Maxed out! Agent Axer's attack increaced! Agent Benit's HP Maxed out! Agent Benit's attack increaced! Phantom Ghost's HP Maxed out! Phantom Ghost's attack increaced! Solid Ekans' HP Maxed out! Solid Ekans' attack increaced!]
[Agent Axer waved the shiny tea plant! Evil Tonberi-Mani was distracted by the shiny object!]
[Evil Tonberi-Mani distracted by the shiny object!]

"All right," said Ekans, "Better than Fly Honey!"

"Let's finish this thing and get out of here," Benit said.

[Benit utilized a Precious Mineral attack! 1203 Damage to Evil Tonberi-Mani! Evil Tonberi-Mani have started to move!]

"My spoony bard! It's moving!" said Phantom as he watched the statue break away from its pedestal. The glow around the group faded out, as did the turn-based battle box. The Tonberi-Main statue plodded off the stand and towards the group.

"Aaaah! Run!" shouted Agent Axer as he turned around and ran into the Evil Tonnberi-mani statue.

Everyone sweatdropped at Agent Axer's actions. "If you want to run AWAY try running the OPPOSITE direction," informed Benit as she pointed said direction.

"Oh, right..." Agent Axer said as he quickly stood up and ran, only to bash into the statue again...

Everyone sweatdropped once more. "Turn AROUND and run AWAY," ordered Agent Ekans as he shook his head.

"Oh, right..." said Agent Axer as he ran but tripped on a walking turtle that appeared in the fabric of the 64th dimension's thin air and fell on his face, "Ow!"

So, the gigantic evil looking statue lumbered over to the group as they all prepared to attack, wielding their various weapons o' pain.

It got closer...

          And closer...

                    And reached them...

                              And...walked past them..?

"What the spoony?" said Agent Axer as he stood up and dusted himself off.

They watched as the Evil Tonberri-mani statue moved towards a gigantic metal like container and opened it. A little light bulb illuminated the metallic refrigerator as it took out a jug of milk and poured it into the bowl. It then returned the milk, closed the door, and took a bowl of "Frosted Materia-O's" on top of the fridge as it slowly waddled over to a table and sat down. It placed the bowl on the table and took out a wooden spoon as it began to munch on it slowly. Everyone blinked and sweatdropped like crazy. The Evil Tonnberi-mari stopped in mid-munch and looked blankly at the group before him. It blinked muchly.

"Surprise..." the Evil Tonberi-mari said plainly as it returned to eating its cereal, leaving everyone in complete and utter silence…except for some maracas playing in the background of course.

"So..." said Benit as she broke the semi-silence between the group except for the maracas...and the guitar that also accompanied the instrument, "I guess that's how the bowl got its title..."

"Hey!!!" exclaimed Phantom, "This place is WEIRD...well...not like our adventures are weird anyway but.... WEIRDER than usual and WE want to get OUT of HERE!!!"

The Evil Tonberi-mari stopped eating in mid-munch and looked up at the group and it began to speak.

"Yuck! Don't eat with your mouth full!" said Agent Ekans as he stuck his tounge out in disgust.

The Evil Tonberi-mari nodded as it finished it's spoonful as the Elements hovered around Ramsus like love sick puppies.

They all sighed in unison as the hearts above their heads quadroupled in size, crushing Ramsus in between them.

"Irk…" whimpered Ramsus as he turned a scarlet hue due to oxygen deprivation, "You're...crushing...me…"

Finally, finishing his spoonful of cereal, the Evil Tonnberi-mari put the 'ANCIENT BOWL OF SURPRISE' aside and opened his mouth as he uttered out the answer to get out of the 64th dimension...

The Tonberry-mani suppressed any form of distortion on the Agents, Elements and Ramsus, all becoming normal again. Then he casted an Interdimensional Tornado spell which sent all nine people into the void, spinning crazily, until they all lost consciousness.

Outside their sleep, a rainbowish void opened above the Shanghai Inn, and all of them fell through into the bathroom, scaring Zone outta there, and very pissed off (no pun intended). The first person to regain consciousness was Benit, and she looked her surroundings as her fellow Agents and enemies were knocked out with swirly things over their eyes.

"Yes! Rocket Town! Princess Q!!!! Where are yooooouuu???" Benit yelled as she got up and ran outside.

"NOT SO FAST!" Benit halted and found a VERY distressed Ramsus edging towards her with his sword. Everyone else didn't regain consciousness yet, so she was in a serious pinch.

"Don't move, young lady, while I pierce your heart with this!!" Ramsus threatened.

Now's it about time he got serious. I for one, need to get Q to exploit his weakness, Benit thought, then retorted, "Yeah, you'll catch me doing that the day pigs fly out my butt!"

Ramsus yelled a primal yell and charged at her, but she ducked out of the door and ran outside. He gave chase. The pursuit was on!

Gray Fox, CAM and Alys all panted heavily. Tao Pika Pika, in his Trunks-motif boxers, laughed maniacally.

"Oh!" he said derisively in Brian Drummond's nasal voice. "It seems our princes have become paupers again!"

"Don't quote…the dub…," Gray Fox gasped, struggling to keep his Bukujutsu in effect, since all important Dragon Ball fights took place in the air. He had discovered the trick to Bukujutsu was not to think about how improbable it was, but that was currently irrelevant. CAM weakly ate a Twinkie.

"Let's assess the options," he said. "We've got…no Dragon Balls…no more power…our friends are already defeated…it's virtually impossible that we'll win." Tao Pika Pika smirked and began to collect ki.

"We're doomed…," Alys said tiredly.

"Wait a second! Did you say virtually impossible?!" Gray Fox asked sharply.

"Well, yeah, it would be impossible, but in Dragon Ball they always win, so…." Gray Fox snapped his fingers.

"That's it!" He pulled a really hot cup of tea, an FFVI cartridge and an Energy Crystal out of his inventory. Tao Pika Pika remained oblivious, still concentrating. "CAM, give me a Twinkie! Alys, get me some wires!" CAM grudgingly gave Gray Fox one of his Twinkies, and Alys gave him some plot contrivance-produced wires. Gray Fox attached the Twinkie to the cup of tea with one of them. "These will be the power source, the two most integral things to the Agents." He stuck a loose wire from the tea cup into the bottom of the FFVI cartridge. "This wire is connected to Shadow's seventh dream sequence." He attached his last wire to the Energy Crystal. "According to Phantom, you have to have inhuman luck to get one of these, so…." Suddenly, the makeshift Infinite Improbability Generator crackled and hummed to life.

"Cool," CAM said. "What's it do?"

"This!" Gray Fox sparked two wires together. There was a sharp whistling sound far above. Two objects, one tiny and one massive, fell toward Tao Pika Pika. One was a flower pot. The other was a sperm whale. The entire account of the flower pot's existence goes something like this:

Oh no, not again.

It slammed directly into the villain and shattered. The sperm whale's tale is slightly more involved.

Who am I? What am I?

…I think, therefore I am. Yes, that sounds good.

Oh, wow! What a sensation! I think I'll call it…wi…win…wind! Wind! It's very strong today!

Speaking of today, it's rather nice outside. It's almost like the air is full of some strange energy.

Oh my! Look at the shiny yellow thing below! And those three little people near it! I think I'll call it…a Po…Pok…Poké…Pokémon!

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

Alys gasped as the massive whale collided with Tao Pika Pika. The massive weight of the sea mammal drove the Pokémon into the ground. The unfortunate whale exploded upon impact into rubbery chunks of whalemeat. CAM wrinked his nose in disgust. The Agents lowered to the ground and ran up to the newly-formed crater. Tao Pika Pika lay on his back in the center. He chuckled hoarsely.

"H…he…he…. You may have defeated me…but…another one…a stronger one…awaits…." He tried to cough up some blood, but it was quickly censored by FUNimation. The Pokémon grimaced. "Aw, screw it. You'll regret this!" He faded into the next dimension, leaving one RockeT CanyoN Dragon Ball.

"YEAH!" ROCKSLIDE, Gray Fox and Jimi all exchanged high-fives. After many congratulations, they piled into the T van and sped off into the sunset, wishing the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok] would arrive soon. The sunset was dangerously close now, and the group was hoping there would be a plot contrivance to stop them sometime soon. As luck would have it, Celes' PHS chose this time to ring.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Celes? This is Mog! Something wierd is going on herekupo. Not too long ago, all of the other moogles started cursing up a stormkupo, and began beating each other up! Then this lovable guy came inkupo, and started talking to them. Then they all left, and I don't know where they went! I think that guy put something in the water, becasue I saw a couple of friends beat each other up after having a drink. Can you help?"

"Hmm... I'll see what I can do. Oh, and Mog, nice recap!"

"Thankupo!"

Shera had gone grocery shopping, and had left Cid at home. She didn't think he'd be able to hurt anything in his current condition, and she really didn't want to be seen with him in public at this point. She was not, however, prepared for what she saw when she got home.

There was Cid, in his frilly apron, dusting the furniture, but that was to be expected now.

The cats, however, were not.

Cats filled the house. They were on the furniture, in the bed, under the couch, absolutely eveywhere. There was easily over one hundred luring about the premesis.

"Cid! Where did you get this many cats?!?!" Shera asked.

Cid looked up. "Oh, they were on sale from Wutai! Aren't they just precious? I mean, who doesn't like cats?"

Shera decided to save any further argument until the groceries were safely away. A large number of feline eyes were watching the bags she was carrying.

Dr. Mayhem stood back, and watched as his Army of Mutant Deranged Killer Moogles (AMDKM) decimated South Figaro. Giddy with peasure, he lifted his pinky to his mouth. Proffessor Flint wasn't too certain about this tactic, though.

"Um... Why are we destroying South Figaro? I mean, you even called and said you were coming!"

Dr. Mayhem longed for a functional Button O'Death in his secret lair... This guy is such a frickin' MORON!! he thought to himself. "My dear Proffessor Flint. This is only a test to ensure my total control over these mindless moogles. I have bigger plans. We shall soon leave for a better planet. Not just any better planet, but The Planet. And soon, it shall be MY The Planet! Mwa, Ha, Ha!!"

Eveyone joined in with the maniacal laughter, and the laughing continued until eveyone became bored with it, and left to do something better.

"Waittaminute," CAM blurted, "We left the Dragonball back at the fight scene!"

"Do’h," Gray Fox grumbled, facepalming. "I guess we’ll have to go back and get it."

"I pity the sucka what leaves a plot-specific artifact at the fight scene! But we’ll get it, ‘cos my van is fast, fool!" announced the driver. He swerved around and shot back to the crater where Tao Pika Pika had met his end. Everyone piled out. Agent CAM walked over to the crater and picked up a Pokéball and Dragon Ball. Suddenly both of them got shot out of his hands. Ash Ketchum scooped up the fallen items and held ROCKSLIDE, Jimi, Agent Gray Fox, and Agent CAM at gunpoint.

"Let's get him!" CAM exclaimed.

"Back off!" Ash barked,"This is like Resident Evil. Despite how powerful you are and what weapon you have, the villain with the pistol will always hold you at bay!" Agent CAM came towards him, but Ash held him at bay with the pistol.

"Give me back Pikafoo'!" CAM ordered.

"And give me back my Dragon Ball!" Aly ordered.

"Um, no. You'll only get them back if you defeat me....later. And as a special I'll give you Pikafoo' if you tell me where the Dragon Balls are. I have three of them now."

"I don't know where they are," Agent CAM said, "I just learned recently I made a set."

"Well, then.. you must face me," Ash said,"but first you shall face the Palmergators! Palmergators, go!" The Palmergator rushed on the tired Agents as Ash flew away on a Pidgeot.

Pikacthulu arrived at the check in station in the NEXT DIMENSION. Just at that exact moment another Pikachu wearing a jacket of Sayia-jin Armor, reinforced Spandex, and a Scouter walked in.

"bRoThER!? wHo SeNt YoU tO tHe NEXT DIMENSION?" Pikacthulu gasped.

"It was that Gray Fox," Tao Pika Pika complained.

"dAmN tHoSe AgEnTs," Pikacthulu cursed, "i'Ll HaVe AsH wIsH yOu BaCk ToO."

"I heard that Alys Brangwin gave you a run for your money," a voice remarked.

"Yeah...so," Tao Pika Pika replied.

"I seem to be an expert at killing Alys," Zio said, "If you wish me back too, I'll help you kill her."

"I thought Chaz had something to do with the planning too," Tao Pika Pika replied.

"But I was the one that did the actual killing," Zio remarked.

"And then didn't she come back and kill you?"

"Cut the details!"

"oK lEt Me GeT tHiS sTrAiGhT, aSh WiShEs AlL oF uS bAcK."

"I'll send him a fax," Tao Pika Pika replied

One day away from the Planet... two warships locked horns in a cataclismic space battle. The onyx-toned stolen Estharian warship, [Buttercup], gleamed under the flickering lights from the continuous stream of hyper-plasma fire from its forward cannons. The energy shells thundered across the hull of its opponent, the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok]. The crimson-hued vessel vainly struggled to come about into firing position as the assault continued to wreak havoc with its guidance systems.

"Turn this bucket around so we can return fire!!" bellowed Agent The Captain as he clung to his chair on the smoking, trembling bridge.

"I'm tryin'!" yelled MINOTAUR above the explosions going off throughout the ship.

The [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok] shuddered as its course became more jarred and haphazzard. Black smoke poured from every seam as the vessel began to slowly spiral out of control.

"*Dis eez Trainer de Captain," the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok]'s radio garbled, "Ve hev disabled your vessel," the Russian voice continued, "Prepare to be boarded."

Agent the Captain pounded his fist into the radio controls, cutting off the signal. "Well," the agent slowly turned his head to his two crew members, "Looks like this is it."

On board the menacing warship [Buttercup], the evil astronauts walked into their transporter chamber to "beam" themselves over to the disabled ship. The EVIL Pokémon Trainer and his EVIL Pokémon were armed to the teeth and ready to send their prey to the NEXT DIMENSION once and for all. The Russian villain, Trainer the Captain, nodded to his transporter chief, Ultros, and the cadre of vile creatures and their master began to glow before a cheezy Brave Fencer Musashi^TM portal rose from the floor of the chamber and swallowed them, before vanishing from sight.

The boarding party materialized in the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok]'s central chamber. Smoke and flame littered the entire interior of the ravaged vessel, various explosions could be heard on other parts of the ship. Without hesitation, the heavilly-armed miscreants stepped onto the elevator and rode it to the bridge.

The evil Pokémaniac and his flunkies chuckled with syrupy evil as they approached the three figures sitting on the bridge. This would be Trainer the Captain's greatest victory yet.

Back on board the [Buttercup], the lone transporter chief Ultros eagerly awaited his master to command a return BFM teleportation. A rustling behind him caught his attention, and Ultros slowly turned to see a large taurus-creature grinning at him. The last thing the evil octopus saw was SACRED lift his fist above the chief's head before blackness consumed his world.

"Vot iz diz?!!" roared Trainer the Captain at his crushing discovery.

The three figures on the bridge of the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok] were, in fact, FFVIII "Agent the Captain" and "SACRED and MINOTAUR" life-size plushies.

"Damn you BANDAI!!" the evil trainer clenched his fist and shook it to the air, "DAMN YOU TO THE NEXT DIMENSION!!!!"

"Captain," Mr. Chupon came from behind the away team, "There's no sign of them on the ship. They must've teleported to our ship when we boarded theirs, a la 'Star Trek: Wrath of Kahn'."

"That wasn't in 'Star Trek: Wrath of Kahn'," corrected EVIL Jigglypuff, "That was 'Search for Spock'."

"Wait," interrupted EVIL Clefairy, "Which one had the giant space whales in it?"

"Giant space whales??!" exclaimed Mr. Chupon, "What -"

"ENOUGH!!" roared Trainer the Captain.

"Helmsman," Agent the Captain announced as he sat in the Captain's chair on the bridge of the undamaged Estharian Warship [Buttercup], "Set course for the Planet!" He nimbly tossed and caught the Master Ball carrying Ultros.

"Hey," SACRED entered the bridge holding a rotting, mysterious item, "Look what I found lodged in the fuel injector." Agent the Captain and MINOTAUR both gasped when they recognized a dead ferret in SACRED's hand.

"Hmm," shrugged the Agent, "Must be a design flaw. No wonder these things go so slow."

With a triumphant nod, the [Estharian Warship Buttercup] rocketed away from the exploding [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok] still slowly spinning out of control in space, carrying its EVIL angered hostages.

A serene sunset blanketted Rocket Town with its orange warmth as a celebration of sorts was in progress. The Agents Gray Fox and CAM, ROCKSLIDE, Jimi et all had defeated Tao Pika Pika and sent the villainous Pokémon to… the Next Dimension.

Now they waited for their transport to the FFVIII world, the [CAPSULE CORP Ragnarok], which was expected to arrive in one day.

Jimi adjusted his sweaty headband as foreign chemicals seeped into his forehead, "Man.." the soft-spoken summon remarked, "Must be trippin'..." His eyes were locked on a strange shape that had appeared in the sky. "Hey Fox," the rock & roll summon tapped the Agent on the shoulder, "Do you see what I see?"

Gray Fox followed his gaze skyward to the darked shape in the sky, "Heads up!"

CAM and the rest of ROCKSLIDE looked up from beside their custom van at the mysterious anomoly. "Is that METEOR?" CAM wondered aloud.

But it was not METEOR. No, it was a far more welcoming site. The [Estharian Warship Buttercup] descended toward the gawking mass in all its glory, with giant plasma cannons and other weapons of mass destructions decorating its exterior. Alys gasped at the onyx-hued vessel that grew ever closer to the group.

Villagers throughout Rocket Town ran to their windows as this tremendously-sized ship landed just outside their humble town.

ROCKSLIDE and the Agents drew their weapons as the ship touched Planet and began to power down its engines. Each hero watched the bay doors carefully as they slowly lowered to reveal three figures standing in the opening.

"Captain!" shouted CAM, his eyes wide with excitement.

Agent Benit was in a serious pinch now, for she was desperately looking for Q, now that she had returned to Rocket Town from the 64th Dimension. It was like a case of miracuously disappearing off the Planet, 'cuz she couldn't find her.

On top of that, Benit was being chased by a VERY insane Ramsus with his sword, trying to disarm the fleeing agent. Several times, Blank Checks were thrown at him, but they proved as useful as using Odin against Seifer.

"BENIT! STAND STILL!!" Ramsus, nearly enraged, yelled.

"Shyeah right. I'll save that for another time, maybe never," Benit retorted, taking Saturn Rhapsody out. Ramsus and Benit stood still, like in a traditional western film, waiting for who was to take the first strike. She thought back to AgenT Garden, where she was trained after leaving the orphanage she grew up with several other agents, that said that the enemy took the first move for your advantage.

Then things started to get weird, like they haven't already. Selphie was walking around in Rocket Town for some rocket launchers, and she was staring at the fighters (or statues, I must say) and wide opened at one of them.

"Oh my goodness!! The GF I used when I was twelve! She looks exactly like her!!" Selphie shrieked. Benit and Ramsus were totally distracted by her and glared at her, totally confused.

"What the HFIL are you talking about!?" Benit yelled. Selphie took out a TT Card and examined it and Benit back and forth. She wasn't appreciating this at all and looked at Selphie's card. Benit was literally frightened by the similarities between the card and her own features. Apart from teal skin, blue hair and no irises for eyes, she looked the same.

"Waitasec...you're telling me I'M a GF!?" Benit asked. Selphie nodded.

Axer and everyone else came running up, finding the pale with fright Benit standing there with Selphie.

"Yup, now I remember. The GF I used when I was twelve was called Aoi, or 'blue'. However, I knew Matron wouldn't approve of her, so she became a human featured GF, and I...managed to find another orphanage on my own time for her. I completely forgot about her. Seems like I found Aoi again!" Selphie squealed.

Benit was incredibly pale by this time. She, a GF called Aoi. So that's why she had no parents.

"Oh, I believe you can use minerals to your advantage and are the only one who uses a GF as a mecha, using the rare Coin Toss Relic."

"C'mon, enough with the chit-chat! We gotta find Q!" Axer yelled.

As the group of agents that just got back from the 64th dimention gathered around Selphie and Benit, Agent the Captain was decending the ramp from the [Estharian Warship Buttercup]. Also about this time, Cid came out to see what the racket was about. As he came out of his house, all of the Agents turned to look. He was still dressed in his frilly pink apron, and he was holding a feather duster in his hand.

"I say, would you mind keeping it down? I can't stand the sound of loud machinery."

In Midgar, Rufus was sitting at his desk cleaning his shotgun. Suddenly an increadably loud shreak came from the direction of Rocket Town. It sounded as if most of humanity had just seen one of the most horrable things on earth. Of course, that is fairly close to reality. As he listened he begain to hear a rumble that was much, much closer.

Oh karp, he thought Not again. With that thought he got on the loudspeaker to the building.

"Attention all Shin-Ra employees, attention. The building is about to collapse. Again. Please exit the building in a calm and orderly fashion. You know the drill." With that, he fliped the loudspeaker off and headed for his own personal escape pod. He had put it in after it became clear that the building was going to collapse every 2-3 months, or whenever an author thought it would be funny to have it happen.

After the Agents had either finished screaming, or had passed out, like Agent tC, Axer and CAM, they tried to figure out what had hapened to Cid. However, before they could do anything Princess Q came out of her ultra-secret lab to see what could have possably made so much noise that even she had heard it in her lab.

Rufus and his other top execs stared out of the window of their escape helicopter at the falling building below.

"Wow," Reno said from the cockpit, "I've never seen it collapse like that before . . ."

Something like a large, black circular shadow had opened beneath the Shinra Building and it was slowly sinking into the darkness.

"Hmm," Hojo said, "I believe it may be somehow connected to...that."

The scientist pointed to an enormous Pokéball, now visible through the smog, floating in the sky above the city.

"This can only mean one thing," Hojo said as he steepled his fingers, "the return of Pikacthulhu is at hand..."

The once again rebuilt Proud Clod marched out of it's hangar and it fired it's main gun at the ball, but it just flickered out of existance to re-appear elsewhere in the sky. The shadow under the building moved, and soon the mecha was being pulled in as well.

"Aw crap!" Reno exclaimed, "The big Poké-thing is going to eat Scarlet and Hiedegger!"

"Don't worry about it," Rufus said, "no one really pays attention to whether they're dead or not anyway."

"It's...so awful..." Agent Axer said.

"Unthinkable...unspeakable..." Phantom Ghost added.

"Cid is...is..." Benit continued.

"Heey," Agent Ekans said, staring in a completely unrelated direction, "Selphie's really cute."

Benit took Ekans' prog fish from his inventory and fapped him back and forth a few times. "Look, you can worry about that later, we've got a major crisis here!"

"Wha?" Ekans said, as he regained some degree of sanity and turned to face Cid, "OH DEAR MOG, NO!"

"Wait a second..." CAM scratched his head in thought as the entire group of agents stared in horror at the soft-spoken Cid Highwind. "Weren't we supposed to be fighting someone?"

Alys turned away from the group to see CAM carefully approach the other side of the [Estharian Warship Buttercup]. "What's up, CAM?"

Suddenly, two Palmergators crawled out from underneath the giant space ship, a little flattened but once again ready for battle!

The hideous yellow beasts charged at CAM and Alys, ready to devour them like cheap T-bone steaks, when a strange device materialized in front of them. The device's name?

The Flabbinator.

The Flabbinator hummed, warming up. The Palmergators, however, were advancing on the Agents slightly more quickly. Gray Fox saw an opportunity to stall the monsters, and being an Agent, he naturally took it.

"Jimi! Izabella!" Jimi slung his Stratocaster and leisurely strolled in front of the Palmergators. He grinned.

"Before we go any further, I'd like to say that y'all really had a lot of patience…three days worth. You've proved to the world what can happen, with a little bit of love and understanding and so-o-o-o-unds." He played a chord and humped his whammy bar. Gray Fox sweatdropped. "Whoa, I left my girlfriend at home, I'm sorry. Anyway, I'd like to say, man, we really appreciate y'all having patience with us. And this really, really is nerve-wracking, man…that's why we waited until the sunup…maybe the new day might give us a chance and uh…blah blah guh blook. Sky church is still here, as you can see. I'd like to do this song dedicated to maybe a soldier in the army, singing about his old lady that he dreams about…and hugging a machine gun instead. Or it could be a cat, maybe, trying to fall in love with a girl, maybe, but a little bit too scared…that's where the problems come from sometimes, isn't it? I mean, the cat really's insecure a little bit, so they call girls groupies, and they call girls this, and they call passive people hippies, and blah blah blah guh blook, on down the line. That's because they're not in-not in love, man, that's what's happening. That's the other half a man, is a woman, and we'd like to play a thing called Izabella, and don't you ever forget it." He launched into a powerful chord progression, sending a powerful wave of sound at the Palmergators.

There was an ugly squelching sound. One of the creatures laughed boomingly as it absorbed the music.

"Spoony bard!" Gray Fox shouted. "Keep going, Jimi!" Jimi continued.

"Izabella! Girl, I think about you every night! Hey, girl, you know we got a war! You know we got a war to fight!" Increasingly powerful sound waves buffeted the Palmergators, not damaging them, but keeping them in place. A light suddenly blinked on the Flabbinator.

"Alright, Jimi, get out of there!" The guitar god leaped out of the way. Just then, the Flabbinator fired.

Temporarily, Benit ignored Cid and attempted to run up to Q and tell her about the Mitochondiac Tea. Before she did so, she knocked Ramsus and the Elements down with five Blank Checks, then ran up to her.

"Q! Here's my report..." Benit said, then relayed every single drop of secret she could tell to Q. She could only blink in response. Even Selphie had to gag at some of the things her old GF had mentioned.

"Aw, can it people. Q was right. Never drink and eat their stuff."

Some time later.

Princess Q sat rivetted in front of her monitor, mouth working nervously. Then after a few moments of furious mouse-clicking, she sighed heavily.

"Blast. That's the 1,832 card I lost today. And that was a level 9 Blue/Rouge too," she growled in disgust as she pushed herself away from the computer. Triple Triad was more addictive than Midgarsoft Solitaire. At least she still had her John Lennon card.

Totally without warning, the ground started to shake and the very air vibrated. Princess Q clapped her hands over her ears as a deafening shockwave rattled her Super Secret 100% Stealth Lab. Glass shattered on all sides. All 155 of her Pokéballs rattled off their shelves and popped open. Before any of her Pokémon could react to being freed, the horrifying sound shook them like an earthquake, pitching them all to the ground. Even Articuno fell, for the noise was so loud the air was more like turbulent water.

After the shockwave died down, Princess Q tentatively uncovered her ears. It was clear what had happened: the Agents must have arrived and discovered the staggering truth about Cid. Nothing short of a politician telling the truth could elicit such a reaction.

This fact clear in her mind, Princess Q made her way out of the lab, grabbing an odd assortment of GFs and summon materia that she had recently finished. (A few might be useful, but somehow she didn't think any of the Agents would want the GF Pre-Fab Five even though it had an absolutely devistating 'music'-related status attack; the generic boy-band summon was like Crusader in the sense that it caused damage to both sides.)

After carefully picking her way through the broken glass and panicked Pokémon, Princess Q opened her lab door and stepped outside.

Not far away sat the Estharian Warship [Buttercup], surrounded by Agents, all horror stricken. The Princess was curious to note that Selphie was there, too. She must have hitched a ride on the [Buttercup]. Boy was President Loire going to be mad when he found out someone shanghaied his warship.

She quickly made her way over to the Agents, and was met half-way by a shaken Benit. Speaking quickly, Agent Benit revealed everything she had learned about the mitochondriatic coffee beans and Eve's plot.

Princess Q blinked silently for a moment. After an extended silence, she began to speak. "I think...I'm afraid this thing is deeper than just Evebuck's." The Princess hesitated a moment. "I've got to tell you something. I'm actually a Guardian Angel of Solaris...I've been in contact with Laguna, the president of Solaris for some time. I honestly think this mitochondriatic coffee is part of a plot to find and use the Contact... Laguna told me about the Contact, said he would be here soon. We've got to protect the Contact! And let me tell you, he's very prone to being kidnapped and burried under cats...If we don't protect him, the whole world might be in jeapordy!"

"But what about CID?! I'm so upset I can't even finish my Twinkie!!" CAM lamented.

"Plus, Mog sent word from Narshe that the moogles have gone crazy. Seems there's something in the water," Celes added.

Princess Q wrung her hands in frustration. "Argh, this is bad! We've got more subplots going than a bad soap opera! We've gotta come up with a plan. We can't let anyone take advantage of the Contact, but c'mon, we can't leave Cid like that. And the moogles! We need a plan!"

"Nice recap Q, but you forgot about the subplot involving Ash getting the Dragon Balls and wishing Pikacthulu back to this plane," Alys reminded her.

"And the Anima Twinkie I think that's what we were originally doing until CAM wrote this Pikacthulu subplot thingie," Agent Gray Fox added.

"And Ash has Pikafoo'!" Agent CAM exclaimed, "I'm gonna murdalize 'em!" Mr.T jogged up.

"Hey suckas!" Mr.T said,"Tao Pika Pika didn't know that Mr.T is fast foo'! Where iz he?

"He went to the NEXT DIMENSION," Agent1469 informed him in sign language.

"Let's get Ash!" Agent CAM exclaimed and dragged ROCKSLIDE, Jimi, and Agent Gray Fox into the T Van. Mr.T started up the van and sped off to leave the other agents to figure out what subplots they want to participate in.

"Shouldn't we do something about the moogles?" Celes said.

"I'm not very welcome on the world of FF6," Agent CAM reminded her, "Locke might try to kill me...again."

"Still, we should investigate."

"Maybe later."

Agent CAM thought this might be a good time to try out FIDDLER. CAM turned on the small laptop and entered a search for "RockeT CanyoN Dragon Balls."

"This computer has everything that is related to a Fritz Fraundorf fanfic or humor," CAM stated, "Including stuff about RockeT CanyoN, The Midgar Swamp, and Asgard."

"That's enough plugs, CAM," Alys reprimanded him.

"Well, it says here that I created the RockeT CanyoN Dragon Balls for us in When Mothmen Revolt," Agent CAM read, "But that relay fic got axed and the balls were lost. I was apparently drunk when I made them, so don't remember doing it. It says here that since the Dragon Balls reflect the power of the maker, they are basically powerless."

"Well, President Loire seems to think they do," Alys said.

"But Laguna is a moron," Agent Gray Fox said, "What connections do you have with Laguna?"

"Um....intercepted a message to Princess Q," Alys lied, "That's all."

"CAM, why don't you look up the Anima Twinkie?" Agent Gray Fox suggested.

"Ok," Agent CAM said and typed it in. "It says that the Anima Twinkie is an artifact relating to gears featured in Final Pokémon Solid 3. Not much is known about this device. Hey, this is pretty up-to-date. There's a picture of them, there are two Anima Twinkies."

"Those designs on the twinkies," Gray Fox commented, "They look familiar."

"I'll merge them together and see what we get," CAM announced, isolated the designs, and merged them together. "Whoa, that does look pretty familiar. I'll search the database for something that looks familiar with it."

The FPS logo came up. "Wow, the designs on the Anima Twinkie looks just like Princess Q's logo for FPS. Let's see the other matches. A picture of the stars?"

"Hey, Shera's eyes are over the FF8 planet and the FF6 planet," Agent Gray Fox said.

"That must be where the Anima dungeons are!" Agent1469 signed excitedly.

"....." D replied.

"We're here, suckas!" Mr.T announced. The gang stepped out of the GMC 1982 Custom Van.

"The heck?!" Gray Fox shouted, "We’re still in Rocket Town!"

"Cut the jibba-jabba! I got your opponent right here!" Mr. T shouted, pointing at a short boy wearing a cap loitering in front of Eve’s mansion. He spun around to reveal himself as Ash Ketchum!

"You think you can defeat me?" Ash questioned and the gang nodded, "Well, let's see how you fare against my Pokémon!" Ash grabbed a bunch of PokéBalls and hurled them at ROCKSLIDE, Agent CAM, Agent Gray Fox, and Jimi.

Farfetch'd flew at Celes and sword and onion sprig clashed. Celes reared back and decapitated him , causing him to faint. Machamp ran at Mr.T, and Machamp got promptly tossed. Venusaur whiped at Jimi, and Jimi used his song "Fire" incinerating Venusaur. Raichu charged Agent1469 and was promptly taken out with a shotgun blast. Magikarp flopped at Alys and she put it out of its misery with a Foi. Eggsecutor came at D and he stepped on them like the eggs they are. Agent CAM was attacked by a Gengar, which CAM used the magic of his Mako ARM to destroy. Agent Gray Fox then smashed Dudou and some other random stuff with his Strat.

Two hours later...

Agent Gray Fox and the gang were now standing on top of a large pile of fainted Pokémon.

"Wow, you've beaten a 125," Ash remarked, "You’re better than I thought."

"Yeah, and we haven't even broken a sweat," Agent Gray Fox added. Which was true--the agents had used very little ki in those battles and they were easily won.

"Well, face this GF I found on the world of FF8!" Ash taunted, "He's a GF from the future. Mirai no Pants! I choose you!" Ash threw a Pokéball and a stick figure wearing a Squall's pants stepped out.

"Why are Squall's pants a GF in the future?" Agent CAM asked.

"And how did Ash get him?" Agent Gray Fox asked.

For the moment, the remaining Agents were terribly lost as to what to do to save Cid's attitude. Heck, they weren't around when his attitude was taken. No Agent could come up with something suitable, not even Guardian Solarian Q, or Selphie, or anyone for that matter. Then an Agent had a idea....

"Hey, does anyone have any idea what to do about Cid or any of this other stuff we've got going on?" Agent Axer asked.

"Nope."

"Not me."

"I'm clueless."

"Let's just fire like crazy and make a big hole, BOOM!"

"I like that idea!"

"Oh that only works if we're facing a huge ominous structure that summons monsters from the moon."

"Oh yeah…"

"NO."

"Whoa, Fujin, why are you here?"

"CAMEO."

"…Oh."

"I admit to not having any helpful suggestions for once."

"Would anyone like some tea?" Cid asked.

"Ummm… not right now, Cid," Trainer Phantom Ghost replied.

"Oh. Well if you don't need anything I'll just go back to dusting. That garage is filthy!" Cid said, walking daintily back into the house. The group of agents suppressed a shudder.

"So we're basically agreed on having no clue what to do next, right?" Axer asked.

"Yeah, basically." Agent Benit replied.

"Don't you guys find that a bit odd? I mean we're secret agents, we never run out of clever ideas or useful insights."

"Now that you mention it, that is weird." Phantom said. "In fact it sounds like someone…"

"…did it on purpose!" Solid Ekans finished.

"Hey, does anyone remember the Writers Block Eve had a while back?' Agent tC asked.

"Yeah. What about it?" Benit responded.

"Does anyone know what happened to it?"

"I guess it was a one shot only thing that Princess neutralized with her BS materia." Phantom said.

"Does any one know if she had another?" Agent tC queried. All of the agents looked at one another, comprehension sinking in. "I'd bet my bar tab that she had another and used it on us without our knowing!"

"I think you may be right Captain. Hold on, I'll get my BS materia right away." Princess Q said. With that she ducked back into her lab. A few minutes later, she came back holding a green materia. "This should do it." She declared. "BS 3!" Suddenly a massive cloud of BS encompassed the agents.

"Woo boy, that's a HFIL of a lotta BS," Agent Axer commented.

"Yeah, but it's working. I've got an idea, guys!" Phantom exclaimed. "Why don't we infiltrate Eve's house and see what we can do about Evebucks. After all, if we take that down then we'll have one less sub-plot to deal with!"

"Sounds good. Plus, it'll give Fox time to find his Gear," Ekans pointed out.

"Always a plus," Phantom agreed.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Axer exclaimed, "Her house is right here! Let's bust in and take down Evebucks! Although I will miss their coffee."

With that, the Agents prepared to storm Eve's house, which happened to be 50 feet away.

As they started heading towards Eve's Mansion, they suddenly realized that Ash and Mirai no Pants were still standing in their way. Ash looked at the newly arrived group, and said, "Mirai no Pants! Tackle attack, now!"

"Mirai mi! PAAAAANTS!!" Mirai no Pants charged at Mr T, took a flying leap, and bounced off. He had lept with such force, that he only succeeded in making himself faint.

Ash gaped in surprise. "Whoah! He's HFILuva tough!" And, having no pokémon left, he passed out as well.

Mr T looked at the sad, sad pile of passed out poké's, and Ash. "Those sucka's is foo's, foo'!" He then proceeded to toss them all, and they faded over the horizon, until they winked out of sight.

With that, the group of Axer, Benit, Ekans, Phantom Ghost and Q walked calmly into Eve's mansion.

"Hmm...I wonder if I should purchase this when Eve is driven outta sight," Benit replied, taking out her checkbook and double-checking her balance. As if on cue, Eve came into the lobby and looked at the Agents confusedly.

"What brings you fine folks here today?" Eve asked.

Axer prepared to lunge at her, but Benit stopped him and said, "I have a better plan." Benit walked calmly to Eve and said, "Yes, we seem to be having a problem with your coffee. I've heard numerous complaints of some odd substance in this coffee, which happens to be the Ultamite Tea ripped off, n'est pas?"

While they all walked to the dining room, Benit peered over her shoulder to look at Ekans and nodded faintly, so as not to disturb Eve. Ekans kept his glee and delight to himself. The others were very confused when they saw their signal.

The dining room was VERY fashionable, filled to the brim with diamond and glass mitochondria vases and other paraphernalia. There also was a dartboard with Aya's head hole-riddled with darts -- literally.
Benit had to ramble her brains to figure out how to converse with the entrepeneur about this Ultimate Coffee that ripped the Ultamite Tea off and about trademark and how they worked their hides off to earn this prize in FPS1.

"Can't be defeated..." Ash murmered and gave Mirai no Pants a super potion.

Agent Gray Fox, Agent CAM, ROCKSLIDE, and Jimi looked in horror at the towering GF/Pokémon Mirai no Pants. Mirai no Pants attempted to step on the tiny agents, but they scrambled too fast for him. Suddenly Gray and CAM's scouter's beeped.

"Hey, there's a significant power level coming this way," CAM noticed.

"Yeah, but its 75,000 lower than ours," Gray commented.

"Flaeli!" a voice cried and fire engulfed Mirai no Pants, damaging him.

The fact that he could not sense this attack infuriated him. "Who did that!?"

"Rune Walsh," the man replied, maintaining Bukujutsu.

"Well, eat a Badly Dubbed FUNimation attack!" Mirai no Pants fired a beam at Rune, but Rune disappeared the attack missed. Rune reappeared behind Mirai no Pants. "You move faster than the speed of Badly Dubbed FUNimation Attacks!"

"Astral!" Rune gathered energy from the NEXT DIMENSION and blasted Mirai no Pants. Mirai no Pants was damaged, but since he's a stick figure no one can tell to what extent. Mirai no Pants ran at Rune. "NaGra!" Rune raised his hands and started crushing Mirai no Pants with sheer gravity. Mirai no Pants was paralysed by this attack, and then other characters took advantage of this.

"Makkenosappo!" Agent Gray fired a "screw beam of the devil" into Mirai no Pants.

"NaFoi!" Alys fired a stream of fire into the beast.

"Kouhi-Hame-Ha!" Agent CAM fired his "coffee destruction blast" into the future GF.

"Toss yo' ass!" Mr.T fufilled his word and sent Mirai no Pants flyin'.

"Impossible! You defeated Mirai no Pants!" Ash exclaimed.

"How'd you get here, Rune?" Alys asked during the lull.

"I flew the Landale here," Rune said.

"Feel the wrath of Son Pikachu!" Ash exclaimed over dramatically, "Son Pikachu! I choose you!" Pikachu wearing a Gi and a headband came out from behind Ash.

"But that's just Pikachu in a Gi," Agent Gray Fox commented.

"I've been -training- him," Ash added.

"That's odd, he said something with a Solarian speech impediment," Agent CAM observed.

"Son Pikachu, kill them!" Ash cried, "I mean, cause them to faint or send them to the NEXT DIMENSION."

‘Son Pikachu’ pounced at Agent1469, who shot him out of the air. Celes cast Ultima on Pikachu, and the explosion propelled him into the air. Mr.T punched Pikachu towards D, D punched Pikachu towards CAM, and Agent CAM smacked Pikachu away with a whiplash. Pikachu flew in Jimi's direction and he smacked Pikachu with his strat. Finally Agent Gray Fox smacked Pikachu to the ground with his own Stratocaster.

"Pika pi...." Pikachu twitched.

Alys noticed something in the sky. It was a faint image of the moon in the evening sky. "Moon beam!" Alys reflected light of the moon from her Moon Slashers with more intensity and blinded ‘Son Pikachu.’

"Death!" Alys cried and tossed a slasher straight towards the pikachu's heart. To her suprise the Pokémon caught her slasher mid-air and threw it down. "What on the Planet!" Alys shouted. Pikachu grew claws and grew into a huge monsterous version of himself.

"Ha!" Ash cackled, "Son Pikachu has gone -Pikachucombra- from seeing the light of the moon."

Everyone glanced at Alys, who sweatdropped.

"Pika..Pika...Pi...Chucombra!" Pikachu roared and blasted the party with Thundershock. Rune flew at Pikachu. The monsterous Pikachu blasted him out of mid-air with a thundershock. "Hewn!" Rune projected himself back into the air with a gust of wind. Unfortunately Pikachu swatted him to the ground nonetheless. "Pi."

"Oh my Buddha!" Agent Gray Fox exclaimed.

"Ka."

"How on the Planet?" CAM gawked.

"Pi."

"I pity the foo'!" Mr.T exclaimed.

"Ka."

"Shouldn't we do something!" Rune sweatdropped.

"Pi!" Son Pikachu release a blast of ki and electricity that slammed into Rune. Rune was knocked unconscious and a RockeT CanyoN dragon ball fell out of his pocket. Ash snatched it up. "Pikachu! Thunderwave!" Son Pikachu release lightning that paralyzed everyone. "Pika-Pika-Pi!" Pikachu manipulated his ki blast to hit everyone. Agent CAM was thrown into the air like a rag doll and landed face first. Agent CAM's marbles fell out of his trench coat pockets and spilled on the ground. CAM looked at the marbles.

"I've lost my marbles..." CAM murmered. He noticed once of his marbles glowing. It was the one his grandfather gave him before he and his parents mysteriously died. It was his most prized possesion in the orphanage where he grew up and met all his friends. CAM picked up the marble and examined it. It was large and red with four stars inside of it. Agent CAM looked over to see Pikachu attacking his friends with a series of viscious attacks. "Stop hurting my friends!" CAM screamed and unleashed a massive ki attack that left a burn mark. Pikachu retaliated by coughing up a ki blast that struck CAM.

CAM thrashed to the ground. The Dragon Ball in his hand glowed brightly. Agent CAM pulled himself to his feet. CAM clentched his teeth and his fist with the ball in it.

Stop!

Pikachu started firing ki blasts at CAM causing explosions to erupt everywhere.

Stop hurting my friends!

A stray explosion threw CAM back.

I said, stop, dammit! Agent CAM heard a voice emmiting from the Dragon Ball, it sounding like his grandfather's, but it was all garbled and couldn't understand a bit of it.

Another explosion sent CAM flying. CAM heard a heart beat, it kept getting more and more intense. Agent CAM was finally struck with a blast and he screamed loudly. His hand burned with the Dragon Ball in it and there was a bright flash of light that engulfed CAM.

Elsewhere Agent Gray Fox laid in the grass possibly bleeding internally. Gray Fox's scouter beeped and he wearily looked up. "14 million! What the hell is that!?" Gray Fox's scouter then malfunctioned and started playing Densetsu no Suupa Saiya-jin.

A man with yellow hair flew onto the scene. Alys believed he resembled the demon of Elru, but only had yellow hair instead of red. Also see thought he had seen that face somewhere before.

"I am Hi-C," the yellow haired man introduced himself, "I am the Super Kouhi-jin."

"Pikachu!" Pikachu roared and swatted at Hi-C. The Super Kouhi-jin simply grabbed the monsterous hand and overpowered him. Then, as a display of pure strength, he threw Pikachu into the air and hit him with a simple ki blast. The shot blew his tail off. Pikachu reverted to normal form and landed on the ground. Hi-C then struck Ash with a ki blast. Ash dropped a Pokéball, containing Pikafoo'. Ash and Pikachu scrambled to Tao Pika Pika's Pokéball, climbed in, and blasted off.

At that moment Gabriel Knight piloted the Landale towards the battlefield following Rune. Hi-C flew at Gabriel and his first reaction was to fire the spaceships guns. The lasers engulfed Hi-C and when the smoke cleared he was gone. Gabriel landed the Landale and stepped out. He saw ROCKSLIDE, Agent CAM, Agent Gray Fox, Rune, and Jimi all lying on the ground, unconscious. Agent CAM was clutching a Dragon Ball--the four-starred one--and the only one that Ash Ketchum doesn't have.

Gabriel had seen destruction like this before. "This looks like it was done by ‘him’...."

Agent the Captain sat on the ramp leading from the [Estharian Warship Buttercup] on the outskirts of Rocket Town. While the Agent sunned himself, his comrades had scattered in different directions in their quest to rid themselves of subplots. Benit's group had gone into Eve's house to try and learn what they could about Evebucks. Agents Gray Fox, CAM and ROCKSLIDE had left in Mr T's hellovafast van to search for the rest of the RockeT CanyoN Dragon Balls.

This left Agent the Captain on his own once again. Even his GF, SACRED and MINOTAUR had wandered off to the Rocket Town Gift Shop to try and find an ultra-rare Cid Highwind Keychain.

Without warning, he was attacked by Moogles!!

A horde of angry, spitting, growling, foul-tempered little white creatures lunged at him from all directions - burying the agent in a sea of little white beasts.

"What the -" the agent struggled against the current, "Hey get the-" again he was muffled, "-HFIL offa me!!"

A loud, evil laugh was heard just outside the swarming Moogles. Agent the Captain forced his head out to see its source. There, in front of him, stood the Amish Vomit Keg - the most unspeakable organization known to man (and Moogle).

"Yes!" cheered Doctor Mayhem, "I've done it again!" Mini Cactaur cheered along with his master, his movements perfectly mimicking Mayhem's. Behind them, Professor Flint and Evil Agent NC81 grinned in triumph.

Agent the Captain could then seen behind this nefarious group hovered a cheesy Brave Fencer Musashi^TM portal, the AVK's obvious means of transportation. Yet more members of Mayhem's Army of Mutant Deranged Killer Moogles (AMDKM) stood obidiently around the captured agent, waiting for their master's order to attack.

"I bet you're wondering how I knew you'd be here," sneered Dr. Mayhem. "You've been followed by one of my own, Mr. 'the Captain'."

Agent the Captain was shocked to see someone else step through the BFM portal, Trainer the Captain and his horde of evil Pokémon. The Russian Pokémaniac grinned with evil glee.

"You've done well, 'Trainer'," Mayhem grinned, "Now return!" The evil doctor held up a black Pokéball which suddenly drew in the Captain's Russian counterpart.

"My evil double's a Pokémon?" the Captain wondered as he struggled, "This is getting weirder by the second..."

"Dr. Mayhem!" Flint called from behind the group, "My scanners show some Agents coming back this way! We should take cover!"

"Yes," Mayhem agreed, "But where?" The evil doctor passed his gaze around them until it stopped at Cid's house. "Aha!" He ran up to the door and rapped his fist on it.

"Yes?" Cid Highwind politely answered his door, before being shoved aside by all of AVK and their AMDKM.

"We're hiding here!" Mayhem barked, "So make us some tea and don't tell anyone!"

"Of course, sir," Cid cheerily answered. Shera was about to cry for help when NC81 grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth.

It was then that Dr. Mayhem saw the mountain of cats in the living room, "Throw her and Agent the Captain in there!" the doctor barked to his employees, "We've got plans to make!"

Chug chug chug chug chug.

The sound of a train echoed through Gray Fox's head.

Dream world again?

He lay inert on the grass, his Scouter cracked over one eye. The shadow of the [Estharian Warship Buttercup] fell over the burnt grass around him. His mind, however was somewhere else entirely.

What's goin' on here?

It was a dark forest, he saw immediately. As the dream world came into clearer focus, he saw he was on a plateau. A train was moving slowly alone a track far below. Two men ran into view.

"Hey, Clyde! I hear this train has a whole car full of great stuff to steal!"

"Hmm…that sounds good, Baram. How're we supposed to get in, though?"

"Well, I had this plan…."

Who the spoony's dream is this?!

The spectacle suddenly froze, and a small fast forward sign appeared in the corner. Gray Fox's vision became a blur. It suddenly cleared, and he saw a young woman in a pink dress standing among some trees, a light shining in the background.

I repeat….

Again, the fast forward sign appeared, and when the blurring stopped, Gray Fox saw a Twinkie of some sort floating in front of him. It glowed oddly. Some text scrolled under it, giving the feeling of a cheaply-made TV commercial.

"Anima Twinkie Type Omega. In addition to being a powerful Gear-driving plot catalyst, the Anima Twinkie is a great snack and contains 13 of your essential daily vitamins, if eaten with fourteen bran muffins, eight glasses of orange juice, one block of tofu, three Balamb fish, one glass of whole milk and the hair o' the dog that bit ya!'

Gray Fox would have blinked confusedly if he had his body with him at the time.

Riiiiggghhhttt…who the HFIL is doing this, anyway, and why am I in their TV?

"Are is I, Proffesor Daravon! Makings dreams RPG fic of fan characters to appear create me! Not Gray know did Fox that?"

The confused Agent would have goggled and then shaken his head no, again providing he had his body with him. Daravon continued. "Dreams makings many occurs did I! And Shadow Fantasy in Final Terra Six and Seven dream Fantasy Final Cloud's, to few of name! VCR functioning wrongly, adjustments of the minor to variety few did I have make! This is the way!"

Okay…just send me back to my body, please? This is all too much for me.

"Off course!"

Suddenly, Gray Fox's eyes snapped open. He saw the darkening sky of Rocket Town, and upon turning his head, the various members of ROCKSLIDE and Jimi. Everyone else was gone. The [Estharian Warship Buttercup] loomed, reminding him of his mission to go to the the Final Fantasy VIII world. He slowly got to his feet. His body protested, telling him through intense pain that it would much rather stay on the ground. Gray Fox told it to jump off a cliff, which was a rather foolish thing to say in retrospect. Fortunately for him, it didn't listen, and the Agent woke up CAM, who was clutching the Suushinchuu Dragon Ball in his hand.

"Purple monkey dishwasher?" CAM asked confusedly. "What happened?"

"I dunno. But we're still around, and we have a story line to wrap up," Gray Fox said. "So let's wake everyone up and get on that ship."

A while later, Gray Fox was sitting in the pilot's seat of the [Buttercup.] CAM, who had instantly claimed dibs on the position, was in the gunnery chair. Alys sat in the navigation seat. Jimi and ROCKSLIDE were sitting or standing around the bridge. Gray Fox thumbed through a poorly translated instruction manual. 'Big Red Lever pulled control deck Buttercup launches,' it read.

"I think it means we pull that," Alys said, pointing out a so-labeled Big Red Lever. Gray Fox shrugged and yanked it. The [Buttercup] fairly leapt off the ground and shot straight into the darkening sky, engines streaming fire behind them.

While Agent Benit was debating about the 'Ultimate Tea' with Eve, the other Agents wandered around the house looking for karp knows what. Agent Phantom Ghost was in the living room, lying on the couch to catch a quick nap. Agent Benit was with Eve in the Hall still conversing about the Ultimate Tea. Agent Axer in the dining room, pilfering crystaline glasses and massive pieces of art work as he put them in his unlimited inventory space. Agent Q was in the Library speed-reading on Sun Tzu and the Art of War along with various other fine literature while researching clues on stopping the Evebucks Coffee. Agent Ekans was in the Kitchen just chopping up some vegetables for no apparent reason what so ever.

Suddenly the lights went out and everyone was surprised at the sudden envelopment of darkness. Pandemonium ensued within the little mansion as everyone's little feet scurried around, screaming bloody murder as they fled through the darkness. Then, a piercing scream shot through the darkness as all occupants became deathly silent. The lights went back on as they found that all the Agents, plus Eve, were all gathered within the main hallway that connected all the adjacent rooms together. They found Agent Aya face down on the ground, dead.

"Oh my god! Somebody killed Agent Aya!" Agent Axer yelled.

"You bastard!" replied the other Agents with the exception of Eve.

"What the karp? My clothes changed!" exclaimed Agent Phantom Ghost as he looked down at his clothes to find himself wearing a green suit.

"Hey, so have mine!" Agent Ekans proclaimed as he saw himself wearing a mustard colored suit.

"Hmmm..." mused Agent Q as she carefully examined everyone's clothes, "Judging from our articles of clothing...and the mansion we're in...I would say that...somehow we've been thrusted in a game of Clue™."

"CLUE™?!?" they all exclaimed in unison. Even Eve herself was quite surprised.

"Yes, that is correct...and judging from our outfits..." said Agent Q as she listed off the personas each person represented.

Agent Q is Mrs. Peacock
Eve is Miss Scarlet
Agent Benit is Mrs. White
Agent Phantom Ghost is Mr. Green
Agent Ekans is Colnol Mustard
Agent Axer is Professor Plum

"I'm Prof. Plum!?" shouted Agent Axer as he puffed on his pipe, blowing out soap bubbles instead of smoke, "But I like being Col. Mustard!"

"Sorry old chap," said Agent Ekans as he took his monocle over one eye and wiped it, "But I get to be Col. Mustard in this game!"

"And what is THIS?? Why do I get to be the...subservient...MAID in Clue™???" yelled Agent Benit as she flailed her arms wildly in the air, her apron flapping in unison.

"Well...SUCKS to be YOU," said Eve in a non-chalant way as she gracefully drank some red wine, "At least I get to be the audaciously vain and good looking one."

"EXCUSE ME?!?" shouted Agent Benit as she searched for her glaive, only to find herself equipped with a Clue™ knife, "I'm going to take this knife and shove it up your..."

Then a large argument ensued within the main hall way as their voices echoed between the wooden walls. Agent Axer was griping about the fact he wanted to be Col. Mustard instead of Prof. Plum with Agent Ekans. Eve, as Miss Scarlet, was now exchanging bitter insults between Agent Benit, now Mrs. White. Agent Q, as Mrs. Peacock, continued to strew forth information between everyone else about them being trapped in a game of Clue™. Agent Phantom, as Mr. Green, took out a whistle and blew loud enough to cease everyone’s conversation.

"Calm down everyone, we have to figure out a way to get out of here," said Agent Phantom as everyone stared blankly at him.

Silence filled the room for a few minutes...

"I want to be Col Mustard," whined Agent Axer as he complained towards Agent Ekans.

"I'm about to open a can of Whoop Tooshie on you soon you..." said Agent Benit as she continued to exchange ascerbic words to Eve.

"I think we can get out of here if we..." said Agent Q but everyone was too wound up in their own converstion to listen.

"Sorry, but I am Col. Mustard, so too bad for you!" Agent Ekans beamed as he blew a rasberry at Agent Axer.

"Hmph!" Eve said as she stuck her head up high, wallowing in her own pride and vanity.

Everyone then cringed in pain as Agent Phantom Ghost took out a chalkboard and began to scratch it endlessly. Everyone finally stopped as they covered their ears from the horrible and horrendous sound of the infamous chalk board screeching.

"Okay, everyone listen to Agent Q 'cause she has a way to get out of here," said Agent Phantom as he pointed to the eldest female Agent.

"Right," Agent Q said with a nod, "The doors and windows are automatically sealed by a plot contravice so we can only get out of here by figuring out WHO the murderered Agent Aya."

"It's YOU! You COL. MUSTARD stealer! With the REVOLVER in the KITCHEN!" accused Agent Axer towards Agent Ekans.

"ME!?!?" Agent Ekans yelled in shock, "How do WE know it's not stoooopiiiid PROF. PLUM with the CANDLESTICK in the DINING ROOM?? Hmmmm???"

"It's always the subservient butler or MAID," Eve said as she looked accusingly at Agent Benit, "Who usually commit the murders in the HALL with the KNIFE!"

"Okay Miss I'm-all-that-when-I'm-none-of-that," Agent Benit said as she gave the SMACK DOWN on Eve, "I think it's MISS SCARLET in the LOUNGE with the LEAD PIPE."

Then accusations were thrown around the room as everyone pointed fingers at each other. Once again Agent Phantom used the infamous chalk board scratching to silence everyone so that Agent Q could continue her conversation.

"(ahem) So anyway, one of US killed Agent Aya. The question is...who?" said Agent Q as everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, looked suspiciously at each other, "Whoever we accuse correct with the accurate weapon AND room will win the game, as well as release us from our confinement...so remember..."

WHO KILLED AGENT AYA?

The Suspects:
Agent Q is Mrs. Peacock
Eve is Miss Scarlet
Agent Benit is Mrs. White
Agent Phantom Ghost is Mr. Green
Agent Ekans is Colnol Mustard
Agent Axer is Professor Plum

The Mansion Rooms:
Study
Hall
Lounge
Library
Billard Room
Conservatory
Ballroom
Kitchen
Dining Room

The Weapons:
Knife
Candlestick
Revolver
Rope
Lead Pipe
Wrench

Remember!:
There are secrets passages from the Lounge to the Conservatory and vice versa.
Another secret passage leads from the Study to the Kitchen and vice versa.

"Don't forget that there are clues around the house that should lead to the suspect so make sure you search around carefully," Agent Q said as she still regarded everyone with suspicion.

With that everyone nodded, glared at each other suspiciously, and left their seperate ways so that they may find the murderer in Clue™.

"CAM, will you please stop firing the guns at nothing?" Agent Gray Fox insisted, "At this rate, we'll run out of ammo."

"Why?" Agent CAM replied while gnawing on the canister containing twinkies Princess Q gave him, "It’s so much fun."

"There seems to be another ship coming towards us," Alys commented.

"Can I shoot it?" Agent CAM asked.

Rune's face came on screen. "Yes, you can shoot it, CAM," Alys replied.

"Wait! No!" Rune cried, "This is the Landale! Gray, we took some damage from the Hi-C guy so we're heading over to Mir to get some repairs from Wren."

"Fine, we'll meet you guys on the FF8 Planet," Agent Gray Fox replied. With that Landale blasted off towards Mir. Suddenly Estharian warship [Masamune] speed past piloted by Sephiroth's Generic Resistance Force, and was followed by [Excalibur] piloted by Fujin, Raijin, Seifer, Laguna Loire: Man of Action, and Gilgamesh.

"Well, that's a cameo you don't see everyday," Celes remarked.

"Arrgh!" a voice said over the intercom and Domino (the pirate), Bart, Old Walrus Sea Captain, and Faris suddenly appeared on the screen, "Prepared to be boarded."

"We're space pirates," Bart added.

"What are you doing this?" Alys asked.

"Because we..." the sea captain started.

He turned and stomped,"...are men.."

"And women," Faris added.

"You’re a woman?!" Bart asked.

"We've been over this already."

The Walrus sea captain turned and stomped again,"...of the sea!"

"Actually, we're in space," Bart corrected. There was an explosion and the tranmission was lost.

"Why are you all looking at me?" Agent CAM sweatdropped.

"Next stop, FF8 World," Alys chimed.

Agent Benit, now Mrs. White, took a peek in the kitchen. Normally this would've been where a maid and chef worked together, hence the knife she brandished against Eve instead of her trademark glaive. She saw the missing slot in the knife rack where her knife was and saw liver blood on the counters, making her hack a little. Mrs. White was almost certain it wasn't herself who killed Aya because she was a protagonist of the story and very rarely did a protagonist play the role of killer. So she gave up on the kitchen and went somewhere else, hoping to give Eve her "just desserts". Pun intended.

After retreating from the kitchen, Mrs. White (Benit) decided to trek to the billards room. She disguised her knife inside a dusting broom in case she met up with "Miss Scarlet" again. At least she'd know the cause of Scarlet's death personally....

That wasn't her priority at the moment, for she looked around at the pool table and found that same liver blood lying around. White looked at the dartboard and found a picture of Aya pinioned with several darts well aimed at vital areas of one's head if it was real. She shuddered.

If only she had watched the Clue™ movie, she'd probably use a funny ref by now. This spattered liver blood (which she could tell personally because maids know more than their masters...hee) and the darts at Aya's picture were excellent clues to Mrs. White to not aim the blame at her because she held no grudge to Aya and hated the sight of blood.

Only one thing came to mind: "It was MISS SCARLET in the BILLARDS ROOM with a REVOLVER!"

Hey...anything's possible if that horror is our enemy again, Mrs. White thought as she took another gander at the billards room.

Meanwhile, at the Amish Vomit Keg’s headquarters..

Agent Thin Man couldn't believe that he was so dense as to let himself be hired by an evil corporation. They always stabbed you in the back, the only question was how soon. In this case, it was VERY soon. However, in a typical villain style, they had thrown him in a cell in the dungeon... with all of his equipment.

He looked at what they had left him. A few rope arrows, water arrows, moss arrows, even his blackjack. There was also a complimentary sewing kit in the bathroom. This was going to be TOO easy.

He took the black sheets off of the bed, and used the sewing kit to make a makeshift cloak and cowel, so he could hide in the shadows. He then used the needles from the kit to pick the lock on his cell door. Agent Thin Man was no more. Now the AVK had to face... Agent Garret.

He crept around, making sure he didn't make enough noise for the guards to hear him. Then he saw some valuables on a table across the room. "As long as I'm in here, I may as well pick up something for myself," He mumbled. He then worked his way up, and out of the fortress, but not before looting the place, knocking out all of the guards, and discovering Dr. Mayhem's insidious plan, which was already in effect...

"I'm bored!" CAM complained. He had long since drained the plasma cannons' batteries. ROCKSLIDE's members, save for Alys had deserted the bridge. Gray Fox still sat in the pilot's chair, a half-empty king-sized bottle of No-Doz in front of him.

"I'm tired," he announced. CAM shrugged and squeezed the triggers of the cannons, only to have a click respond. Alys handed Gray Fox a PlayStation game.

"Here. You put in a music CD, and have to keep a Crack Bunny alive by running along the sound waves."

"Nani?"

"Just try it," the Eight-Stroke Hunter said. Gray Fox shrugged and plugged the PlayStation into his console. He inserted a CD, which immediately began to play Jimi's Woodstock Improvisation. The Crack Bunny instantly died. The tired Agent tried again. The Crack Bunny died again. Gray Fox tried again. The Crack Bunny died again. Gray Fox threw down the controller in disgust.

"I'd rather play PaRappa," he said moodily. "How long until we get to the FFVIII planet?"

"Yeah, I wanna see if they sell Twinkies," CAM said. "If they don't, I'll spread the good word."

"We should be getting there in about…oh spoony, no!" The [Buttercup] suddenly buffeted wildly.

"What the HFIL's going on?!" Gray Fox asked sharply. Alys grabbed the intercom microphone.

"All hands on deck! This means you, slackers!" She put down the microphone and tapped a button on her control panel. The sub-etha net camera flared to life on the monitors, showing the space outside. To Gray Fox and CAM's surprise, the curve of a planet could be seen, and another camera showed a large, red moon. "It's the Lunar Cry!" Alys exclaimed.

"Hey, wait a sec…," CAM said, squinting at a monitor. "Those don't look like normal monsters…they look like-"

"-FUNimation execs!" Gray Fox finished. "Oh my karp! What's going on?!" Suddenly, a face of evil appeared on the communications monitor.

"We're taking over the FFVIII world with the dub, and you are powerless to stop up!" It was an eerily female voice, in fact, it sounded like an eighty-year-old woman with constipation. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am 'Frieza.' Welcome to my badly-dubbed nightmare." The horned purple/white creature cackled.

"It's from that round ship over there!" Alys said, pointing at a sub-etha monitor. The door to the bridge suddenly hissed open. The rest of the team stood framed inside. As Jimi and the members of ROCKSLIDE made their way onto the bridge, the [Buttercup] was caught up in the flow of FUNimation execs. It spiralled through the planet's atmosphere, and eventually slammed into Cactuar Island, crippled.

Agent Axer walked into one of the many room of the mansion, specifically the BALLROOM, and looked around for clues. As he searched around the ornate BALLROOM, he blew into his pipe, which caused more soap bubbles to eject from it. Of course the suspect couldn't be HIMSELF because, after all, he is one of the heros in this story and they don't usually kill somebody on purpose. That would just be plain wrong. Then an idea crossed Prof. Plum's head as a strobelight flashed above him, flickering for a bit, then shattering.

"I know! It has to be COL. MUSTARD in the BALLROOM with the REVOLVER! That swine!" exclaimed Prof. Plum as he made a wild accusation, "No...wait maybe I'm wrong...maybe I'm just blinding my own judgment with my feelings of jealousy because of the fact that Agent Ekans is one of my fave Clue™ characters..."

Prof. Plum then stopped at the end of the BALL ROOM and saw a picture of Agent Aya with a giant SCARLET slashed circle over her face. Also, extremely evident and noticable words painted in SCARLET read "Die, Aya, Die!" and were spread all over a white, gargantuan banner that streatched from each end of the room. Prof. Plum just examined the spectacle before him and blew into his pipe, issuing forth more bubbles to float in the air.

"What does...Dye Eye Ya Dye mean? Is that in German or something...?" asked Prof Plum to himself, totally missinterpreting AND mispronouncing the words.

"And the picture looks like...some MAN...with a facial problem…" Prof Plum concluded, mistaking the giant red circle over Agent Aya as part of her face as opposed to OVER her face. Plus the fact that he thought she was a HE didn't really make matters any easier for him.

Prof. Plum sighed as he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out of the room. "Nope...no clues here...guess there's some other things in this house I can find."

Prof. Plum quickly walked by a file that read the words "Miss Scarlet's plans for killing Agent Aya" and walked out of the Ball Room.

"What a nightmare," Princess Peacock muttered to herself. She supposed there were worse people to get stuck as, but why'd she hafta be the old crusty lady?

Princess Peacock figured the best way to discover how Agent Aya had died this time was to examine the body, so she knelt down next to her inanimate form. To her surprise, there was evidence of many different weapons! Blunt force trauma to the head...bullet wounds...punctures...even rope burns on her neck!

"Whoever did this really wanted Agent Aya dead. And I mean permanently this time." Princess Peacock paused and rubbed her chin, then remembered suddenly that she didn't need to do that all the time now that her Citan-style clothes were gone, at least for the moment. So instead she scratched the back of her head.

After a moment of consideration, Princess Peacock realized that most of the wounds had been sustained posthumously. She ruled out the ROPE, the LEAD PIPE, and the WRENCH, as those particular wounds were among those inflicted after Aya's most recent untimely demise.

She looked around the room for other clues, assuming that Aya hadn't met her latest fate in the hallway, as it hadn't been typed in all upper-case.

A faint trail of tiny blood dots lead out of the hall, so the Princess followed them, all the way to the CONSERVATORY. There, the trail ended.

Princess Peacock again became thoughtful. The drops stopped, but she could see that Agent Aya had been dragged through the secret passageway to the LOUNGE.

Hearing something behind her, Princess Peacock turned and saw Eve pass by carrying a large bag, filled to the top with instruments of doom. It didn't exactly take a genius to figure out that Eve was the prime suspect, what with her intense loathing of Aya and that dartboard and all...

But where was the crime commited? And with what?

Despite being clad in a rather unstealthy shade of yellow, Solid Ekans still attempted to remain unseen as he crept into the kitchen. Knowing the other's knowledge of his ref pattern, it'd actually appear more suspicious if he wasn't utilizing Tactical Espionage Action™. The agent opened the refridgerator and twisted a bottle of ketchup that appeared to be fixed to it's shelf, and a hidden door opened.

"I wonder who is responsible for this," the ref-armed agent through, "I guess we all had some motive...mine would be my inability to resist these silly running gags...but-DAH!"

Light flashed in the darkened passage to the study and sparks shot off from Ekans' right hand as he dropped to the floor.

As the agent tried to get back to his feet, the world seemed to invert it's color-scheme as a ray of light darted behind his head.

"No!" Ekans exclaimed, "That...kind of power...I-...IDaravon?!?" Ekans attempted to adjust his IDF-CODEC, the one part of his equipment not lost in the sudden costume change, to get through the interference caused by the board game world around them.

"Let's just hope I can get through the interference . . ."

"I'd say you're making it," a female voice responded, "This is STA Central Dogbert, you're coming in a little staticy, but it's definitely more understandable than SNK fighting game dialogue."

"Good," the agent said, "But we've got a serious situation here...you remember what I said about the 'Bright Spoon,' right?"

"What?" the voice responded, "Too many Konami game refs causing some kind of interference?"

"No...it's reacting to some kind of intense evil mistranslated power...it feels like IDaravon's...maybe even stronger."

"Great Crested Booka!" the response hurt Ekans' ears, "Where the fluff is it coming from?"

"That's just it," Ekans said, "It's really far off...yet somehow interdimensionally linked here so I can still sense it with the Bright Spoon power."

"So...we're talking dimensionally linked worlds...how faint is the connection?"

"It's a big power, but a weak link, I'm thinking close sequels but no story connections."

The girl in the fortification known as STA Central Dogbert swiveled a chair around to deliver a few keystrokes in another large computer terminal. The main screen lit up with all manner of maps and information on a dozen or so planets, in the center of which was the planet known as The Planet.

"Okay," she said, "We've got 4 or 5 worlds linked at that level that someone on the team has at least visited...none of them are showing serious IDF disturbances- wait! Not one of the planets...one of their satelites...(magikarp)! The moon is lit up like it's IDaravon's freaking house or something. It looks like some kind of mistranslating force is trying to space-fold itself down onto that world..."

"Carp!" Ekans said, "We've got to get the team there, now!"

"It's no good," the voice replied again, "We can't get a lock on your position...it's like when you where in that quiz-show game durring the re-taking of Asgard...you'll have to figure out a way to break out of whatever it is you're in order for us to get you any means of getting to that planet."

"Fluff," Ekans said, "Well, I guess I'll get back to cracking on this mystery...keep an eye on that huge power...and make sure that Nova is ready for action."

Agent CAM, ROCKSLIDE, Agent Gray Fox, and Jimi huddled around the flaming wreckage of [Buttercup] on Cautuar island.

"How the HFIL are we going to get off this island!?" Agent Gray Fox asked.

"Well, at least we have this flaming wreckage to keep us from freezing to death," Celes said.

"And these Cactuars will keep us from starving to death," Agent CAM said, munching on a Cactuar he had fried with his Mako ARM.

"Is that safe?" Agent1469 signed.

"No," CAM replied, "But the capsule Princess gave me still won't open. Capsule? Wait a minute! That's it!"

"What? Do you have a Capsule Corp ship or something?" Agent Gray Fox asked.

"The only thing Capsule Corp gave me were fansubs," Agent CAM replied, "But Daravon has been working on some inflatable technology for ROCKSLIDE. I stole some prototypes before I left." Agent CAM pulled out a small box with a button on it, and pressed the button. The box then transformed it into an inflatible woman. "Oops wrong one..."

"I'm going to have a word with Daravon," Celes remarked.

"This is the one." Agent CAM pressed the button and the box transformed into an inflatable Epoch. "So that's where that thing went."

Suddenly two balls of fire struck Cactuar Island. Out of the craters two FUNimation executives stepped out. Startled, Agent CAM dropped the Cactuar he was eating, and the executives gasped.

"Have to make sure they don't pop the Epoch!" CAM cried.

"Look at this..." they gasped and looked at all the chewed up Cactuars piled up on Cactuar Island. "So many dead cute mascots....this must be censored!"

"Nooooo!!!!" CAM cried, "Hikari...HA!" Using his ki, CAM created a ball of light. The ball of light floated close by.

"Badly Dubbed FUNIMATION ATTACK!" one of the executives cried. The executive gathered the powers of censorship and prepared to fire. Agent CAM guided his ball of light into the executive's face blinding him. The shot was blindly fired and no one was hit. A red haze surrounded Agent CAM and he made the executive feel the wrath of a Beat Down.

"Flash Black Sequence!" the executive blasted CAM before fading into the NEXT DIMENSION and Agent CAM fell unconscious.

"Death!" Alys cried and threw her Moonslasher towards the remaining FUNimation executive's heart, but the shot was never seen connecting. With no wounds the FUNimation executive faded into the NEXT DIMENSION, but not without making Alys succumb to the Flash Blast Sequence Attack.

What is this?

"How are the patients?" Hojo asked. Looking at two tubes in the basement of the Shinra Mansion. One contained a small child with spikey blonde hair and the other with long gray hair.

"My sons, Hi-C and Sephiroth....are fine...." Lucretia replied sullenly, looking at the two in their mako Jenova cell cocktails.

This must be like those Laguna dream sequences.

"Hojo!" a man called.

Vincent Valentine the Turk walked into the room. "Hojo, what you are doing is inhuman! I will not allow this anymore! Not to my Lucretia! Not to anyone!" Vincent drew a bead on Hojo with Death Penalty. There was a gun shot. Vincent dropped his weapon and grasped the gaping bloody hole. He looked up and saw a foreboding Lucretia holding a smoking pistol.

"Lucretia...why....?" Vincent moaned.

Lucretia's only reply was a devious smile as her blue hair blew in the wind.....

"Alys! Wake up!" Alys blearily opened her eyes and saw CAM shaking her.

"Hey, get yer hands off me!" she shouted.

"Yeah, get your hands off her!" Celes said with more than a hint of jealousy. The Eight-Stroke Hunter got to her feet, trying to shake the strange dream and the battle with the FUNimation execs. The recently-formed craters still smoked.

"Hey, what happened to the wound from the Flash Sequence Attack?" Alys asked. "And didn't CAM get hit with it too?"

"Oh, I gave you both some of my senzu beans," Gray Fox said. "I have a stash of them in my Inventory." He looked around. The [Estharian Warship Buttercup] shot twin streams of sparks from its engines. One hit the inflatable Epoch and set it on fire.

"Uh-oh," CAM said. "Daravon won't be happy about this." Their ride slowly melted into a puddle of plastic, filling the air with a foul stench. Mr. T popped out of the engine room, grumbling.

"This ain't nothin' like my van! I can't fix this, foos'!" There was a collective groan from ROCKSLIDE, Gray Fox and Jimi, seated on the sands of Cactuar Island. It was bad enough that their ride had been destroyed by the non-funky, funky flow of FUNimation execs. It was worse still that they were stranded on a Bahamut-forsaken island in the middle of nowhere.

"Look," Alys said, "You can see the rest of the Lunar Cry falling." Indeed, the distant stream could be seen falling toward Esthar, presumably at Tears' Point.

"If they're falling at Tears' Point, somebody probably summoned them," Gray Fox said. "Probably in with FRIEZA. But why would anybody on the FFVIII world know who FRIEZA was? I thought only the poor people on the Planet were stuck with that."

"Who the HFIL cares about that?" CAM asked, successfully completing the third dub reference so far. "We're stuck on a desert island with no food, water, transportation or TWINKIES!!!...Except the stash of several thousand in my pockets. But still!"

"There's no food or water on the [Buttercup]?" Celes asked.

"D drank all of our liquids. Mr. T got all the food," Alys said grimly.

"…," D said guiltily.

"Ah, cut yo' jibba-jabba, Alys-sucka," Mr. T said. "Man of my stature need that food."

"What's done is done," Gray Fox. "Meanwhile…HOW THE SPOONY DO WE GET OUT OF HERE?!" CAM stole an arrow out of Gray Fox's quiver and began to run around, jabbing the air with it.

"Kill the Cactuar! Spill his blood! Bash him in!" The ground suddenly rumbled violently.

"Oh man…CAM, what'd you do now?" Alys asked, slapping her hand over her forehead. The rumbling intensified, and CAM nervously ate a Twinkie. Suddenly, something green, massive and unhappy broke through. It towered over the group.

"I aM jUmBo CaCtUaR! i HeArD tAlK oF sOmEbOdY sPiLlInG cAcTuAr BlOoD!" ROCKSLIDE et al trembled, save for Alys.

"That's true, Mr. Jumbo Cactuar, but I have to ask…didn't Squall kill you and make you a GF?"

"HaHa! Do YoU tHiNk He CoUlD kIlL mE, yOuNg LaDy? ThAt WaS mY bOdY dOuBlE!!"

"Oh…that's a nice plot contrivance, Mr. Cactuar-"

"Mr. JuMbO cAcTuAr To YoU."

"Mr. Jumbo Cactuar, then," Alys continued, unfazed. "I'm sorry about the disturbance, but since you're so massive, you wouldn't mind maybe tossing us off this island? We'll come back for the airship later."

"WhY sHoUlD i HeLp YoU? hE wAs TaLkInG aBoUt KiLlInG mE, aNd he RoAsTeD mY bReThReN!" Jumbo Cactuar said, pointing one huge appendage at CAM.

"CAM gets that way sometimes. C'mon…if you don't help us, your planet will be taken over by FUNimation execs!"

"FuNiMaTiOn ExEcS?! wIlL tHeY eVeR qUiT? vErY wElL, i WiLl HeLp YoU." Alys nodded her thanks, and Jumbo Cactuar scooped up ROCKSLIDE in his arms.

"Oh karp," CAM said. Gray Fox made an odd squeaking noise.

"GoOd TrAvElS!" Jumbo Cactuar boomed. "10000 NeEdLeS!" He shot forward a spray of thousands of needles, not to mention ROCKSLIDE.

"Hang on to a needle!" Alys yelled out, ever the ROCKSLIDE voice of reason. Gray Fox and Jimi hung onto one large needle, CAM, Pikafoo' and Celes to another, D and Alys to yet another, and Mr. T got one all to himself.

"Where are these taking us?" Jimi asked mildly.

"Bahamut only knows," Gray Fox answered. "Although, I'll be a spoony bard if that isn't a really big bridge on the horizon."

"And, man, is something shiny in the middle," CAM observed.

"And something huge is docked to it, too," Celes added. ROCKSLIDE soared over the bridge, over Fisherman's Horizon, and not over the docked Balamb Garden. On the contrary, they slammed straight into it. They fell through the hole the needles had created into a modestly-sized apartment. Squall and Rinoa were on the couch, deeply involved in a make-out session.

"Eww," Gray Fox said. "Get a room, you guys."

"Um…Gray…," CAM began.

"Oh yeah, they got one. Never mind, then." ROCKSLIDE non-chalantly strolled out of the room and into the Garden beyond. Squall and Rinoa took no notice of them.

Mrs. White heard a sound of someone bumping into something. She whirled around and found none other than MISS SCARLET floating down the hall, not bothering to look in the Billards room where the maid/minter was standing.

She had sparkles in her eyes as she came up with a stealthy plan. She ripped off any form of white article on her and tiptoed out into the hallway with only black dress, stockings and cap on. Benit(Mrs. White) crept silently through the hall as she pursued Eve.

If my lucky coins are right, she should babble about where she killed Aya. Any idiot would know after playing Parasite Eve that she was the killer, Benit thought. Her next course of action was to beep everyone else via her coin devices ever so popular in FPS1.

Peacock, Plum, Green and Mustard all received a message from White to meet up in the Conservatory secret passage, via coin detectors. All four of them knew White wanted revenge on Scarlet for calling her the murderer, but decided to do so nonetheless.

Meanwhile, Mrs. White glanced around the door and found Miss Scarlet still oblivious to her excistence, looking around in her Big Bag of Things until she came across a tiny, yet very shiny object that looked to be a set of keys.

That's probably the key that opens the doors locked by the plot contriviance, White thought. Then she made a simple deduction: Eve wanted to escape from the mansion and lock the Agents inside to die. That snide *%^#^!!

Still in the dark, White set her fingers together as if they were ready to snap. A minute red aura formed inbetween her fingers, and White snapped them, releasing the red energy briefly. Benit heard what she wanted to hear:

"Hey! What's this...THING wrapping around me!? Get it off!!!" Benit (still Mrs. White) stepped around the door and smirked at her, not uttering a word. Eve started to get paranoid.

The other four Agents not present at the secret passage then had coincidentally met up and, not saying anything, walked down the passage calmly. When they started to hear Eve yelling and Benit incoherently saying something snide, they ran up towards them, and finally into the room.

There, lo and behold, the other Agents found Eve in what looked like a pitiful package. Eve was wrapped around in what looked to be a gigantic coin wrapper, made of steel. She was unable to move around properly without falling on her face. Benit was laughing as she held some keys in her hand and jingled them in front of Eve's face.

"Now, I think it's time for an interoggation. Peacock, would you like to do the honors?" White asked.

Princess Peacock nodded over at Benit White, then said, "Perhaps we should conduct this interogation in the DINING ROOM."

So with some help from Axer Plum and Solonol Ekustard, the group of detained agents rolled Eve's coin wrapper out of the secret passageway. Fortunately, due to a subspace plot hole, the large coin wrapper was easily removed from the narrow passage.

Shortly, the group arrived in the DINING ROOM. Ekustard glanced at the floor and noticed some scuff marks and blood spots.

"Well," Princess Peacock began, "I think that before we start the interogation, we should pool our evidence, see if we even need to ask Eve about it."

"Good plan," Plum said. "But I didn't find anything. Just a picture of an ugly German guy." He decided not to accuse Ekustard, noting in a moment of surprising clarity that mustard color is an extraordinarily ugly color, akin to what one might find in a young baby's diaper. Thus, for the moment, he was not jealous.

"I just noticed the scuffs and blood spots right here," Ekustard pointed out. The other agents examined them for a moment. White took the opportunity to follow the blood drops to a really large spot, complete with bullet.

"Something tells me REVOLVER," she said, indicating the spent bullet and the cartridge.

"No doubt," Princess Peacock agreed. "When I checked Aya, the bullet wound was the one injury that looked, well, like the fatal one."

"So, who wants to do the honors?" Benit White asked.

"I will, I will!" Axer Plum shouted. "It was MONSSUIER BROWN in the GAZEBO with the POISON!"

"What?" Princess Peacock shouted. "That's in Clue: Master Detective, not Classic Clue!"

"Oh. I thought it was the ugly German guy."

"Argggh," Princess Peacock grumbled.

"I'll make the accusation," Benit said. "And since Eve can't get out without it either, maybe we can get her to talk, too."

"Well, since I'm the one to make the official accusation, it was MISS SCARLET in the BILLARDS ROOM with the REVOLVER! Think about it. Eve hates Aya, so she kills her. Princess Peacock says the fatal wound is a gunshot. Then I find the most blood in the billards room out of all the rooms."

With that, the plot contriviance keys shone every Agent's colours except for Eve's in a kaleidoscope fashion. The room became dark again, then everybody was normal again when the lights were back on.

"Well, I guess it's time for Eve to spill her beans," Axer said as he shoved his weapon at her face. Eve, still trapped in the coin wrapper, experienced four other assorted weapons thrusted at her throat.

"Are you sure that's a decent accusation? The bullet was found in the kitchen," Agent Q asked. Benit looked at Q dubiously, then said, "Well you wanted me to make the perfect accusation. I did, the doors are open, Eve's trapped in a coin wrapper and we're gonna get info outta her! How's that for 'Judge and Jury'?"

Q could only shrug as the other three poked at Eve with Prog Fish, Tiwn Vipers and a fragement of a chandelier. The girls joined in the fun with Saturn Rhapsody and Dragon's Teeth.

"Okay! I'll talk!" Eve protested, the cleared her throat. "Yes, I am involved with this whole tea scandal of advertisment. It all began after you had defeated me in FPS1 a year ago now."

"Didn't you melt then?" Axer asked. Benit deployed logic and said, "Mitochondria can reform. Don'tcha know?" Axer looked puzzled, but let Eve continue.

"I thought of a way to bring the Ultamite Tea down during your second adventure because I looked in The Artemis Brown Encylopedia and saw that one of mitochondria's physical weaknesses was a component in Ultamite Tea. During your adventure, I did research on managing a business with Stock Exchange: Benit's Way website. Secretly, I threatened Hojo to take out the hazardous component, and he discovered it was the tea leaves I was so afraid of. So, it is roughly about a week ago today that I dug up Cid's tea leaves and erected "Evebuck's Ultamite Coffee", replacing the component with mitochondria.

"That's probably when Benit discovered the stocks for the Ultamite Tea falling and the Ultamite Coffee rising. I was doing business! But I knew that Solaris had the main factory and that Q told her to go there. I search via web surfing for a candidate to exterminate her and the other three Agents. Kahr Ramsus and his Elementals suited perfectly when he told me a female Agent had threatened him at an Evebucks."

Oops, I must've threatened him there. No wonder he hated me the most, Benit thought.

Eve continued. "Ramsus failed, and I had to do justice in my own hands for my survival, or else Ultamite Tea will rule again and I'll die again!! So I intended to trap you guys in this house."

"Doesn't explain ROCKSLIDE's point of view in this FPS. I wonder how they're doing," Phantom muttered.

"So basically, this conspiracy was started to save your skin...or mitochondria...or whatever. You selfish witch!" Benit retorted.

"Don't forget, there's always someone higher and weirder than her who could use this coffee for their purposes. But that's just a wild plot contriviance now, isn't it?" Ekans said as he planted C4 in the house.

"Don't give me any ideas," Benit said as she placed some Blank Checks on the floor. Eve looked hysterical and yelled, "HEY! What're you doing!?"

"What's it look like? We're blowing this place up to the NEXT DIMENSION, broad. Have a nice afterlife!" Axer said as he, Q, and Phantom ran outside. Soon, Ekans and Benit were done their terrorist acts and escaped outside as well. Benit snapped her fingers, and an explosion occurred, complete with radioactivity, mushroom clouds, shockwaves and Aya's carcass flying to the ionosphere once again.

So...-Eve- has failed us...

'And -mother- has not found the -key- to -time-.'

"There may be an explanation for that," of all people, Krelian appeared in the room amidst the circling orbs.

You...I thought you -ran off- with no -clothes- in the ending.

You shouldn't be -here-.

"Plot contrivance," Krelian said, "Much like everything else in humor fanfics, now are you going to listen to what I have to say or do I let Vance and Renk use you as a server to play -Quake- again."

No! Anything but -that-

"All right, then," the man spoke, "It seems that -mother- has her own plans to revitalize -deus-...but something is lacking...nanotechnology."

Why would -you- aid us after all the things that have -occured-.

"Plot contrivance again," Krelian said, projecting a holographic image of a four-fingered glove on the nearby screen, "But here's the key. This being, known as 'Glover', has been able to fuse with the genetic code of WEAPONS, Yuffie, and goodness-knows what else. If the -contact- and the -key to time- are present, we should be able to use my nanomechanical re-creation of this glover to aid in this space-time unity project. The result would be...Nintendeus."

A dramatic chord rang out.

We have heard of this -Glove-...it seems it was in oposition to many others at it's -system- at a time not long ago . . .

Would the -mother- approve of the use of such a -glove-

The important thing is finding the one with the power of -time- and the -contact-.

We know much of the -contact-...but what of the -key to time-

Is the -key to time- one like the -hero of time- who played the -song of time- on the -oncarina of time- outside the -door of time- in the -temple of time-?

"No," Krelian said, "We investigated that occurance when gathering data from the -glove-'s home plane. The one who holds the power of -time- was sensed in Solaris not long ago, before it abruptly vanished."

You mean the -spoonimus-?

"We aren't sure," Krelian said, "The spoonimus power did appeare and leave at the same time, but the signal from the power of -time- was not as strong...as if it came from somewhere else."

Or perhaps the -spoonimus- chooses to conceal the power of -time-.

"Hmm," Krelian said, "It is believed that the -spoonimus- and the one with the power of -time- escaped through the IDF system...the one with the power of -time- shouldn't have needed our IDF power to escape...unless he had reason to conceal it. This is intriguing."

When the dust had settled, the five Agents stood there dazed, confused as to what to do next. Cid walked up towards them in a calm manner and said, "Thanks for exploding that house up. The shade was getting on my nerves." He still wore the apron.

"Incredible. Cid's house managed to survive the mushroom cloud...and he still doesn't have his attitude back," Benit stated matter-of-factly.

"That's it!" Axer defiantly cried, "We're going to go get Cid's attitude back!" Suddenly, Benit was starting to get spasmodic, twitching uncomfortably.

"B! What's happening!?" Q asked worried.

Suddenly, all the clocks stopped. Benit stopped twitching. "Ah! That's better!"

"Hey! All the clocks stopped!" Phantom yelled.

Benit stood still and stoically said, "It's the GF in me. Nothing to be afraid of."

"Yeah, it can't be her. She's a GF of minerals, not time," Ekans said.

Benit brought the conversation to a halt and said, "Well, where're those Moogles now?"

Utilizing the group's general confuzzlement at the moment, Ekans slipped silently off behind the house to draw another bizzare technogadget from his bottomless game-characteresque inventory.

"Hmm..." he said, "Time-space distortions are intensifying...not good. It could be Benit's GF power...they do seem to be able to be summoned across space and time...or it could be that something major is going down in that world that's linked to this one."

Ekans looked about to make sure that no one had begun to search him out before activating his modified CODEC, "Kera," he said, "I'm out of the Clue house...did you get a reading on that last space-time disruption?"

"Not really," the voice on the other end replied, "It wasn't really the kind we're used to scanning for. That was a temporal disruption within that world...not an interdimensional occurance."

"It looks like Eve's out of the way," Ekans said, "so Rufus and his bunch shouldn't be in danger of being mergered by her...I think my work on this planet is about done."

"You still plan to check out that IDaravon-like power?" the voice said, "We're kinda tied up down here with the local evils...but if you really want to check it out alone we can try and get you there."

"Another one-man infiltration mission?" Ekans said.

"Something like that," the voice said, "We can't get any of the usual vehicles there in that short of a time...but you might be able to punch a plot hole into that world with a charged shot from the sequel buster."

"The sequel buster?"

"An old tool used by Capcom. We put one in the inventory. Usually it makes sequels, but this one's wired for IDF, so it can force a portal to the next game in the series."

Ekans took out the bizzare weapon and fired a shot from it, which blew open a small hole in mid-air. Not knowing what else to do, the agent leapt through the opening before it closed up behind him.

Ekans fell out of the hole in space-time, which much to his surprise was roughly 30 feet in the air above the ocean. He quickly shot to the surface in a most painful flop and proceded to sink beneath the waves.

Seifer glanced enviously at the bucket full of Balamb fish that Raijin had managed to reel in in that afternoon alone. Just when he was about to give up there was a mightly tug on his line which almost pulled the rod out of his hands and into the ocean.

Seifer got up on the pier and began to struggle with the rod as the mighty fish began to fight with amazing force.

Seeing that their leader was in danger of being soaked, Raijin and Fujin joined in at pulling the fish up from the depths. With his allies' support, Seifer continued to reel in the line until-

"SHOCK."

He raised a rather soggy agent from the sea.

"TOWEL?"

"Sure."

Q blinked quickly and asked, "Where'd Ekans go?"

"Probably another one man infiltration mission. Maybe he was getting tired of us," Benit stated in her cool, matter-of-factly state, despite the occurrence with time distortion.

So the remaining group of Axer, Benit, Phantom and Q had to look for Moogles, and they didn't know where they were.

A lone Pokéball streaked across the universe with a single destination....home. Inside, Ash and his Pokémon trembled at thoughts of their defeat by the horrid man named Hi-C. The Pokéball shaped spaceship entered the atmosphere of Pokémon Planet No. 5.

"What's that in the sky!" a trainer exlaimed.

"It’s the Great Ash Ketchum," another replied, "But he is not scheduled to be here."

"I thought he was dead," Gary added, "He vanished after Pikacthulu was sent to the NEXT DIMENSION. "

The Pokéball landed, and everyone rushed to see it. Gary kicked the button on the front and it opened to reveal a badly beaten Ash Ketchum with a oxygen mask over his face. "Get this man to the Pokécenter fast!" Two trainers picked up the Pokéball spacecraft and rushed it to the Pokécenter. Nurse Joy placed the spacecraft in a device that glowed and made an odd sound. The Pokéball opened up and a completely healed Ash Ketchum and Son Pikachu stepped out.

"You and your Pokémon are completely healed Ash," Nurse Joy chimed, "But I was unable to reconstruct Pikachu's tail."

"It'll grow back in time." Ash dimissed her and continued to the shops for more equipment.

"Ash! You forgot your Pokédex!" Nurse Joy cried.

"I won't be needing it," Ash replied cooly and walked into the Poké Shop. He purchased his essential things: Master Balls, potions, and some more rounds for his gun.

"Ash," Gary called behind Ash,"I know what your up to, and if your smart you'll leave the -Pokémaniac- alone."

"Where is our new -leader- now anyway?" Ash asked.

"-He- is extremely angry about you going to the FF7 planet without authorization," Gary reminded him,"We know of your little scheme to wish back -Pikacthulu-. The -Pokémaniac- said he'd forgive you if you relinquish the -Dragon Balls-, he's already on the FF8 planet to get the last one."

"The -Pokémaniac- is no match for me!" Ash exlcaimed.

"Our ally -FUNimation- has already sent one of their elite to assist," Gary stated,"The one they call -Freiza-. Solaris will be pleased that -Time Compression- shall soon be completed."

"-FUNimation- on their way!" Ash exclaimed and ran past Gary towards the Poké Center.

"I'll be needing this afterall," Ash said as he snatched the Pokédex out of Joy's hand. Ash and Son Pikachu jumped into the ship, and blasted off.

The MIR space station.

"Sure, I'll repair and refuel Landale for you, Rune," Wren said. The Android then left the room to his task, leaving Rune, Gabriel, and Grace with Demi.

"I know your going to try to bring Alys back to the PS4 world Rune," Demi stated, "Traitor! You believe that Alys is the true hero of PS4 and Chaz killed her to get that title! All traitors must die." Demi drew her laser rifle and started firing rapid fire plasma shots at Rune. Rune doged and returned with a NaWat and froze her solid. Rune gathered a Foi and shattered the iced Demi. Demi's repair systems kicked in and completely repaired her. Before Demi could counter attack some Burst Rockets slammed into Demi.

"I heard the commotion," Wren stated.

Before Demi could repair, Wren and Rune combined their attacks to preform Short Circuit completely disabling Demi. Wren removed Demi's program disk. "This is all of Demi's programs they might be usual if you have a super high tech computer or large fighting robots, and these will completely repair machines." Wren handed Rune Demi's program disk and five repair kits. "May you use them to save Alys."

"Wren, come with us," Rune pleaded.

"I'm needed here to repair things," Wren stated, "And things break around here a lot." The sound of an explosion interrupted them. "Well, gotta go!" With an exchange of goodbyes Rune, Gabriel, and Grace blasted off towards the FF8 planet.

ROCKSLIDE stepped out of Balamb Garden.

"So how are we going to get to Island Closest to Hell?" Agent CAM asked,"We'll most certainly need the power of the Anima Twinkie to defeat 'Freiza'.

"I'm not sure," Agent Gray Fox replied.

"I know!" Agent CAM stated, "We could highjack the Balamb Garden."

"No," Agent Gray Fox replied, "There is no place it could land."

"I could use a Plot Contrivance to get there," Agent CAM pulled a Plot Contrivance from his Magic Bag of Plot Devices. "And to get off the island we'll simply fly our Gears from there."

Suddenly Agent Gray and CAM's scouters beeped.

"Is it 'Freiza'?" Alys asked.

"No I think it has Ekans' power level," Agent CAM stated, "I think it's Solid Ekans."

"Ok then, we'll get him then go to Island Closest to Hell," Agent Gray Fox said.

"But I only have one Plot Contrivance," Agent CAM pointed out, "Wait, I have an idea."

Minutes later. The cockpit of Balamb Garden.

Suddenly ROCKSLIDE crashed through the windows wearing black masks, but noticed the pilot had left for a lunch break. So Agent CAM locked the door, and Mr. T took over piloting the Balamb Garden. Mr. T began to pilot towards Balamb were the Scouters detected Ekans. "This thing is helluva slow!"

"Hey what's that?" Alys asked pointing at an object in the sky.

"It looks like one of those Pokéballs Ash flys in," Celes said.

"But whats that over one?" Agent1469 signed pointing at another flying Pokéball.

"....." D replied.

A click, and Agent Garret begin typing his briefing in.

Tonight's mission is going to be a challenge. The Amish Vomit Keg turned traitor on me, which is a bad idea. Now, I'm going to make them sorry. I stole Cid's attitude for them, so I think I'll steal it back. The problem is, it's been dispersed throughout an entire colony of moogles. I'm going to have to take them out one by one, but it should be possible. No sense in waitng, whoever's going to be asleep already is…

Click.

"Well," Princess Q said to herself, "If we're going to go help the Moogles with the attitude problem, well need to bring my trained attack Moogles, I think."

So, leaving the group of agents momentarily, the Princess ran back to her house. She paused momentarily before she called for her moogles. She had a problem that needed solving. How in the HFIL was she supposed to protect the Contact if she and he weren't even on the same planet?

She needed some advice, from the source. So she sat down and quickly sent herself into a trance-like state.

Suddenly, she stood before the President's throne in the room full of Pokéballs and now tea bags. "President?" she called quietly.

"Uhm? Huh?" the President mumbled, as he was apparently eating a muffin.

Princess Q tapped her foot for a moment. "You didn't get that in Solaris, did you?"

President Loire finished his bite and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Oh, no, no way. I know better than to eat Solarian food. Worse than buying a taco in Mexico."

"Don't you mean drinking the water in Mexico?"

"Oh hush up. Anyway, what can I do for you? You weren't scheduled to check in for a while."

Princess Q adjusted her Citan-style glasses. "I have a problem. The agents I work with on the Planet need to go back in sequel-space to the world before it. We need to rescue Cid's attitude from the moogles. The problem is, if we do that, I'll have to leave the Contact on the Planet. And I obviously don't want to do that; if I do, he'll get kidnapped. He always gets kidnapped. HFIL, I wouldn't be surprised if already has been kidnapped while I was stuck in the Clue mansion."

"I can see why that would be a problem," President Loire said as he nodded. "Certainly don't want that to happen. If Miang gets her grubby paws on the Contact, why, anything could happen! Hmmm. We just have to take this bull by the horns of this dilema. First, you should make sure the Contact hasn't been kidnapped yet. Then, if he has, obviously you have to go rescue him. If not, then...well, then you should go make yourself a double, like Cait Sith, and send that to the other planet. I don't want you to leave the Contact."

Princess Q grew pensive. Then smile spread slowly across her face. "Wait a second...I could always kidnap the Contact myself...then I could put him somewhere where he would be safe for a little while at least. It would be easier than trying to get six different authors to keep track of a double, and it would allow me to help the moogles personally..."

Just then, the vision became cloudy. Benit was shaking Princess Q , trying to wake her up. "Just what were you doing? One way trip to La La Land?"

Princess Q looked a little embarrassed. "Oh, no, nothing like that. I got a little sleepy that's all. Anyway, maybe we should call it a day. It's not like we've slept for a while...."

"Well, that's because we are in a video-game based world. Characters never sleep unless it's important to the plot," Trainer Phantom Ghost pointed out.

"Yeah...well...it might be important, more important than you know."

"They're going....", Doktor Mayhem whispered as he peeked through the blinds at Cid's house. Out on the street, the agents that escaped the Exploding Clue House began making their way toward Princess Q's lab for some much needed rest.

The AVK and their army of Attack Moogles breathed a sigh of relief and resumed drinking tea and messing up Cid's house. Meanwhile, the once high strung pilot quietly and happily dusted around the kitchen in his pink, frilly apron.

The living room of Cid's house was completely filled with cats. A mountain of four-legged felines crawled, scratched, hissed and meowed in the very cramped dwelling space. Beneath this pile of pets an agent fought his way back to consciousness. The air was thinned by the bodies of hundreds of tiny animals, causing the agent and his co-captive, former mechanic Shera Stargazer, to weaken and frequently pass out.

"You're awake," Shera whispered to to gasping agent.

"Yeah... how long was I out?" Agent the Captain asked in a hushed and strained voice.

"About three hours this time. You missed when Doktor Mayhem burned his finger on the toaster and had his Army of Deranged Mutant Attack Moogles destroy it and scatter its pieces in the bathtub."

"Shera," the agent's tone became direct, "We're getting the HFIL outta here."

Agent Garret slunk through the midday shadows toward Rocket Town. His movements were almost invisible to the casual observer. The cloaked figure crept ever slightly into town to his final objective - Cid's House.

"How do you propose we do that?" Shera asked in a hushed voice.

"I don't know yet," the agent answered apologetically, "But maybe I can use my Super-Solarian powers to get us outta here."

"Your WHAT?" It was official: That was by far the strangest statement Shera Stargazer had ever heard in her entire life.

"Long story," Agent the Captain focused himself while brushing aside a cat's tail away from his face. Closing his eyes, the agent's body began to glow a faint greenish hue.

After a few seconds, he opened his eyes with suprise. The cats around him were gone. In fact, everyone was gone. The empty interior of Cid's house was a deep green in color, which complimented the green hue of the etheral air around him. The Agent crouched weakly on the emerald stone floor that used to be orange carpet. As he looked around, he noticed the structure of the house was distorted and jagged. Once rectangulatr door frames were pointed and sharp. There was no discernable sounds around him either, save a faint hissing outside in the distance.

It was then that Agent the Captain realized - he had crossed into the NEXT DIMENSION. This spectral world existed for those who had left the material plane. Somehow the agent was able to leave the waking world and move into this one at will.

"(THAT IS CORRECT, REEZIEL.)" a hollow voice boomed, "(NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUE POWER YOUR SOLARIAN HERITAGE AFFORDS YOU.)"

"Who's there?" the agent called out.

"(I AM 'THE PRESIDENT'. I WILL DO MY BEST TO GUIDE YOU, FOR YOUR ALONE ARE THE CHOSEN ONE, REEZIEL.)"

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

"(THAT IS YOUR SOLARIAN BIRTHNAME. BUT FOR NOW YOU MUST ESCAPE CAPTIVITY.)"

"Any suggestions?"

"(WHILE YOU MAY LEAVE THE MATERIAL REALM AT ANY TIME, YOU MUST FIND AN ACCESS A SPECTRAL BFM PORTAL TO RETURN TO THE WAKING WORLD.)"

"Right," the agent weakly got to his feet and wandered into the 'spectral kitchen'. In the corner, he saw a swirling pink BFM portal. But the Captain decided it might be a better idea to find one outside and reappear out of harms' way. The agent walked to the green-hued backdoor and pushed on it. Nothing. The surface was as solid as granite. The agent wheezed as the door remained perfectly still.

"(YOU CANNOT AFFECT MATERIAL OBJECTS IN THE SPECTRAL DIMENSION, REEZIEL. YOU MUST PASS BACK INTO THE REAL WORLD TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE.)"

"Great," the agent huffed as he stepped into the pink BFM portal and concentrated.

Reappearing in Cid's kitchen, Agent the Captain was greeted with the shocked faces of AVK and the killer moogles. They hadn't expected their captive to suddenly appear in the corner like he had, but they had their deathrays ready.

"Just great..."

"Someone gimme a bed..." Axer moaned. The group dragged themselves to a bed and flopped down.

Phantom sighed heavily and said, "Ahhhh! Sweet dreams, everyone...."

"Good-night, Phantom," everyone else chorused, then fell to deep sleep.

The shape of an alligator loomed in Benit's head. She felt somewhat more....younger than herself currently because it was plain that she wouldn't be sucking on her thumb and cowering in fear while a mutated albino alligator came for her. Benit also knew she didn't have this kind of a weird skin tone of teal.

Suddenly, a crack on the alligator's head could be heard. The creature turned around and they both saw what looked to be a twelve year old with a flail in her hands. The form Benit was in still sucked on her thumb fearfully as the girl and the monster duked out some attacks.

The scene became wavy and she found herself looking wide eyed at the girl. The monster was dead with a bunch of cracks to the head. Benit did some calculations in her head, and was surprised to find herself acting like a baby at ten years old.

Another wave, and she found herself with a bunch of familliar figures, but all were younger. They were all outside with the youngers of the FF8 crew. "Benit" looked at herself and saw herself in her regular work skin. Obviously, she must've missed a scene where the girl, whom she guessed was Selphie, junctioned her briefly, then chose to make her human with whatever belief she had. She saw Axer and Zell crying from Seifer teasing them, Quistis and Artemis talking, Irvine hitting on Selphie and several others wandering around. "Benit" saw Squall pretty far away and she decided to talk to him, knowing it'd be futile.

However, the scene changed. Not to one of her memories, but of just to a face. Twisted-looking, yet familliar, in a lab with some odd-looking people. She recognized one figure as a small Sephiroth. Who was the other though?

The scene changed again, and "Benit" found herself in Solaris again. This time, she travelled in a house until voices could be heard. She turned into a living room and found two strangers with a cute-looking boy. They kept saying "Reeziel must be protected" in that sense.

Damn! This FPS is surely confusing. But, what does this all connect to? Something higher than Ultamite Coffee, if Eve was working with these guys to eliminate us. We're a higher stake of threat to these new guys. We're in the Mexican standoff stage now, "Benit" thought.

Benit shot her eyes wide open when she found Q shaking her.

"Hmph! And to think I'm the only one with tickets to La La Land!" Q retorted.

So, what is the -plan- to bring forth -Nintendeus-

"It is said that there are three enities: the Contact, the Key to Time, and a third that has been overlooked: the Power of Time," Krelian surmised.

-Power of Time-

"The Power of Time is needed to awaken the Key to Time's power. As of now, we know all of the Contact, the Key is still shady, but the Power has had only one occurrence of their powers gone uncontrolled."

Who is the -Power of Time-

-Unknown-

These -Agents- better not foil our -plan-

Three of these -Agents- are our keys to -Nintendeus-

Which -ones-?

The Balamb Garden trudged slowly causing much boredom among ROCKSLIDE. CAM eventually fell asleep, and Agent1469 went to order some stuff off E-Bay.

"You've got Spam!" FIDDLER chimed,"And one actually e-mail." This intrigued Agent1469, so after placing a bid on a speaking mouth dog he read it:

To: alys@aiedo.org
From: freezer@aol.com
Subject: Timber Maniacs

Message: Check out this months issue of Timber Maniacs!

Agent1469 scratched his bald head and picked up an issue sitting right beside the computer. On the cover there was something mentioned about an article about FUNimation, but the issue disappeared from his hands. Since no one spoke sign language very well, Agent1469 began to flail his arms about in distress.

"Hey what's going on?" Agent Gray Fox asked.

"My issue of Timber Maniacs disappeared," Agent1469 signed.

"Oh, that's just something to do with FF8," Agent Gray Fox replied, "It'll know magically appear on Selphie's webpage, but I forgot the URL."

Agent1469 typed in www.selphie.com.

"Hey, that's a hentai site!" Alys smacked Agent1469 in the back of the head and then once again for logging in on her account.

Agent1469 typed in www.balambgarden.edu/festivalcommitee/selphie/sirlaguna.html, and got the correct page this time. He checked the latest issue and paraphrased an article.

"Listen to this," Agent1469 signed,"FUNimation went into a business merger with Pokémon and Evebucks. Evebucks is basically the legitimate face of Solaris' evil empire. FUNimation, Pokémon, and Evebucks have the same thing in common. They want to cause Time Compression. To cause Time Compression the -spoonimus- must use a super concentrated IDF-crystal. To power the crystal a great deal of power is needed. There are only three possible power sources. The anima twinkies, the -contact-, or a third mysterious source. The third source is one of Hojo's old experiments. He created a being out of Jenova cells and cells of Super Saiya-jins. The being was much too powerful and was exterminated, but there have been sightings of it still living. This third source would be a last resort, but possibly more desirable since the -contact- is destined to stop Time Compression. The three have different reasons for all of them. Solaris simply wants to kill things and revive -Nintendeus-, Pokémon want to completely dominate the universe, and FUNimation wants to wipe the Japanese version of Dragon Ball Z completely out of the galaxy. The Pokémon are in great turmoil, since Pikacthulu left they have been ruled by the -Pokémaniac-. Ash Ketchum is the only loyal trainer and is trying to establish Pikacthulu's rule by reviving him with the Dragon Balls. Once Pikacthulu is back in power the only threat to Time Compression would be Team Rocket and The Captain. By hiring The Amish Vomit Keg to steal Cid's attitude Team Rocket Town is out of the way."

"Wow, great recap," Celes complimented.

"....." D added.

"You’re right, D, it does tie all the other plots up," Agent Gray agreed, "Well, sorta..."

"Can't we make this thing go faster," Alys complained, "I want to get our Gears soon." Of course, Alys couldn't shake the e-mail address of the person who sent the message, and that he sent it to her.

Dream sequences went swirling into CAM's minds. He saw a Chibi-Hi-C sparring against a Chibi-Sephiroth.

"Ok, sons," Lucretia announced, "This battle shall test your skills. Whoever loses will be marked a FAILURE and should be DISOWNED." Lucretia ran her hand through her blue hair. "Let the fight begin."

Chibi-Sephiroth drew his sword, but Chibi-Hi-C only stood there. Chibi-Sephiroth swung wildly at Hi-C, but to no avail. The blows simply crashed against a Ki Shield. Chibi-Hi-C blasted Chibi-Sephiroth away with a ki blast.

"Impressive," Hojo remarked, "Hi-C can use his ki very well, just like his Super Saiya-jin donors. God bless E-Bay." Lucretia remained quiet.

Chibi-Hi-C looked around for Sephiroth, but could not find him anywhere. Chibi-Sephiroth jumped from hiding and blasted Hi-C with a Dark Flare. Chibi-Hi-C blocked and was wounded. The stunned Chibi-Hi-C staggered back and then Chibi-Sephiroth severed his arm.

"He is strong and has high ki," Lucretia remarked,"but he lacks any defense against magic. See how Sephiroth is a much more superior son after all."

"Ha! Is that all you have," Chibi-Hi-C taunted, "I'm only using fifty percent of my power." Chibi-Hi-C concentrated and then his body mutated. He grew to adult proportions and his arm regenerated. A brilliant golden aura surrounded Hi-C.

"Hi-C has master his Jenova cells and has complete control over his ki!" Hojo exclaimed.

Chibi-Sephiroth flew from the sky to drive Masamune through Hi-C. Hi-C caught the blade and threw Chibi-Sephiroth into the wall. Chibi-Sephiroth was knocked out unconcsious.

"Ha!" Hojo exclaimed, "Hi-C is a success and he is superior!"

"Hi-C certainly is everything we hoped for," Lucretia said dryly, "His power is a perfect copy of the -contact-'s power, and his Jenova cells make his body incredibly strong. He has three fatal flaws. The real -contact- was born on the same day, and no matter what the genuine -contact- will be more powerful. We can't find the -contact- though, because his parents hide him in an orphanage for safe-keeping. Two, Hi-C has no resistance to magic. Three, his Saiya-jin heritage. He will love battle, be arrogant, and very self-willed with extreme power. He won't except being weaker to the -contact- and will destroy us all. He must be destroyed. By the way I expecting this all to happen." Lucretia turned around to walk way. "Besides, Sephiroth is the destined ruler of this Planet."

More dreams flocked towards CAM.

"Welcome to our orphanage," a woman cloaked in darkness said to a couple obscured from vision. "We have many nice children for adoption here."

"We aren't looking to adopt… we're not exactly a couple," a femine voice replied, "We're just partners. I have some other friends with me, we need a place to hide out for a while. It seems we've pissed off a powerful alien that deals in selling planets by killing his lesser known cousin."

"......" the other added.

"Well, I do have one question," the woman asked,"Why is that one boy playing all alone?" She pointed towards Chibi-CAM playing alone with the four starred Dragon Ball.

"He witnessed his grandfather's death," Matron replied,"It left his quite disturbed. He's nice most of the time, but the other children are afraid of him because of his sudden fits of rage." Suddenly Chibi-CAM formed some ki and destroyed a bug that flew by in anger.

"Sounds like my kind of kid," another voice replied.

"Remind you of your childhood," the woman smirked.

"I am a Prince, I was treated much better," the man replied, "There seems something familiar about him." At hearing someone talk about him, Chibi-CAM jumped up and bit his knee cap. "What a MORON!"

"Hey, back off, he's just a kid," the woman replied and then grabbed the hand of a blonde haired boy in her pockets. She lifted him up in the air to look at him face-to-face. "What's your name?"

"Please don't tell Matron!"

"What is your name!?"

"Chaz Ashley."

"I think I have changed my mind," the woman stated,"I think I will adopt a child."

Agent CAM awoke with a start in his chair. Agent1469 sent his new found information to the rest of the Agents.

Agent Garret pulled out his map of Rocket Town that a friend had drawn for him. It was a square that was labelled 'town'. Having memorized the map, he wandered around and got lost. He saw the sun starting to peek over the horizon, so he decided he should settle down for the day. This was a night job.

Agent Garret turned to the camera, and started waving his hands back and forth a la Wayne's World, to signify the dream sequence.

I was only a kid. My family had gone on vacation to the Gold Saucer, and they forgot me when they left. What was I supposed to do? I got a job as the kid Choco for the front Gate. Not having anyone to tell me I was doing anything wrong, I found it pretty neat that I could run up to people, and steal their gil, and they not only didn't care, but laughed about it. They thought I was 'such a cute little thing'. My little side buisness got me very familiar with the Wonder Square.

It was about the time that mine was the only name on the hi-score list on every game that I decided to move on. By this time, I was a teenager, and wanted *real* action (other than the two hour process of squeezing into the kiddichoco costume every day...). The Battle Square became my new hangout. After a few years, I became good. Darn good. Pretty darn good. Yep, if you were to compare me to the others that came through, you'd think I was pretty darn good.

Then one day, a group came in that most people seemed to act like they weren't even there. I saw them. They wore blue suits. I remember them well, because I got 270,000 gil off of the blond one. Later that day, one of them saw me in the Battle Square, and came up to me after I got through round eight.

"Hey, you're good. We could use someone with your kind of skill." The way he handled the night stick mad it fairly clear that he wasn't just making conversation.

Yeah, I'm Turk trained. They wanted me to be one of them.

But I had *other* ideas for the skills they taught me.

Agent Garret awoke with the sudden appearance of night. The parody of a backstory was over, and there was work to be done.

Go on to Part 3