Final Pokémon Solid 2
Section 11
One-Winged Sloan looked over his opponents and smiled slightly. He knew he was the superior one this time, but for some reason the Agents weren't begging for mercy or groveling in fear.
"Do something original!" all the Agents exclaimed.
"I know! I'll just use an Instant Plot Device!" Cloud Strife said pulling himself from over the ledge.
"Just add wat-" One-Wing Sloan replied.
"My foot in your face!" Agent CAM finished for Sloan, and dropkicked Cloud in the face, knocking him back off the Tower of Bab-il.
Agent Artemis lunged at One-Winged Sloan, but One-Winged Sloan floated up in the air higher than Artemis could hit. Not being able to hit a whole thing during the ending, Agent Artemis finally got angry enough and a red haze flared around her.
"Citan Eye Poke!" Agent Artemis jumped high into the air to the alititude of One-Winged Sloan, and jabbed her thumb into his eyeball.
"Arrrggghhhhhh!!!!! My eye!" One-Winged Sloan cried in pain.
"Yaaah! A limit break shindig!" Agent Axer announced drawing Twin Vipers from his backsheaths covered in a red haze."Wildfire!" Fire blazed around Twin Vipers and Agent Axer, and then with one slash Agent Axer released all that fire in the form of Diabloish waves that battered One-Winged Sloan.
"Ancient Warrior!" Agent Erdrick exclaimed as a red haze swirled around him. Suddenly, in a flash of light, his equipment changed from a squirt gun full of lemonaide to Hillbilly Overalls and Hillbilly Double-Barreled Shotgun with an attatched pitchfork bayonet.
"Um......well at least the weapon is actually good," Agent Erdrick murmered and let loose a blast from his Hillbilly Double-Barreled Shotgun that slammed into One-Winged Sloan.
"Argghhh....I've been hurt.....badly......." One-Winged Sloan as he started to break apart piece by piece like a pane of glass and flew off.
"Sloan-Mimic!" One-Winged Sloan muttered as a last resort to preserve himself. "Pikachu!" Suddenly One-Winged Sloan combined with a Pikachu ref, and transformed to PikaSloan!
"Pika pika an pi![Mwahahahaha! This form will surely beat you. You're all Pikachu fans and you'd never hurt Pikachu!]," PikaSloan announced. "PikaSloan?[Why am I talking like a Pikachu?]"
"Of course we'd hurt you!" Agent Gray Fox stated. "All you are is Pikachu with Stephen Sloan's head on it.'"
"Pika pika![For that comment you shall die!]" PikaSloan stated, "Sloan pi pi pika![What do you have to beat an electric type Pokemon!]"
"Electric? Pokemon? Go, SolidSnake!" Solid Ekans said as the Onix burst from his Poke Ball, "Liquid Onix, Dig!" SolidSnake dug into the ground, and then burst from under Pikasloan and started attacking.
"OWWWW!! Ground is super effective!" PikaSloan said as he fainted.
"PikaSloan I choose you!" Agent CAM said throwing a Poke Ball at PikaSloan, and everyone glanced at him. "What!? I need to start a collection!" PikaSloan was sucked into the Poke Ball were he regained consiousness.
"Sloan-Mimic!" he cried out from inside. "I'll become the Captain's worse nightmare: A giant cat!"
Suddenly the Poke Ball exploded, and now standing on Agent CAM's hand was a giant cat.
"OUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!! That hurts!" Agent CAM screamed in pain.
"Slameless Crossover!" Agent Artemis cried holding her Added Ref. materia high. Suddenly a portal opened and out stepped Malachai from Hell or Highwind. Giant Cat Sloan immediately ate him.
"Well that didn't help much......" Agent Gray Fox stated.
"I don't know about you guys," Agent CAM said, "but I'll really wanted to see him die.
That bastard slapped Shera in one chapter."
"That's what you get, Malachai!" Celes yelled.
"Um, you guys do know that Hell or Highwind is just a story?" Agent Artemis asked and everyone blinked in reply. "I'm sorry I asked."
Giant Cat Sloan charged at Agent tC, getting off of Agent CAM.
"Egads! A cat!" Agent tC cried trying to shield himself with his arms.
"I know what to do about cats!" Agent CAM exclaimed as he drew the Chainsaw he borrowed from Edgar, and started spinning around slashing Giant Cat Sloan.
"Infedel! I'll become you worst nightmare Agent CAM!" Giant Cat Sloan cried, "Sloan-mimic! Man-eating Twinkie!" Suddenly Giant Cat Sloan merged with a Man-Eating Twinkie ref, and transformed into Twinkie Sloan.
"Mmmmm," Agent CAM drooled, "giant Twinkie........"
"No CAM!" Celes cried, "It's a trick! Its a man-eating twinkie!"
"Man-eating twinkie!?" Agent CAM exclaimed, "AHHH!!!! Runaway!" Agent CAM tried to bolt for it, but Twinkie-Sloan grabbed Agent CAM and crammed CAM into his mouth.
"I never thought I'd see the day when that happens....." Agent tC murmered.
"That's awful!" Celes cried.
"Errgghhhh....that Agent CAM didn't go down well," Twinkie-Sloan moaned while holding its stomach, "Indigestion....no wait, it feels like something is eating my insides!"
Suddenly Agent CAM ate his way out.
"There's only creme filling inside!" Agent CAM exclaimed happily, and started eating some more.
"Stop that! I'm supposed to be your worst nightmare. Hey that hurts! Sloan-Mim-" Twinkie-Sloan cried, but was cut off due to the fact that Agent CAM ate him in that short amount of time.
"Twinkielicous!" Agent CAM exclaimed.
"I think that's slightly sicker......" Agent Benit replied.
* * *
The ground under the FPS2 Agents started to rumble as the flying Tower of Bab-il started crumbling apart.
"CID IV!!!!" Locke cried into a communicator, "We need you up here, NOW!"
"The Big Whale's been damaged," Cid IV replied, "I can't reach that altitude. You'll have to come to a lower floor and jump for the Big Whale."
"Fudge...." Agent Benit cursed.
Suddenly twenty Yuffie-clones ran into the room, but then turned into dust as quickly as they came!"
"Look!" Agent Artemis pointed out, "All the Yuffies in the world are disintegrating!"
"Whoohooo!" all the other Agents replied.
"But what will happen to Alys?" D inquired.
"Yeah, what will happend to Alys?" Alys asked.
"I don't know," Agent tC replied, "But I do know WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"
"Does anyone know the way out!?" Agent Axer asked.
"Um, no....." Agent GrayFox.
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!" Agent CAM screamed."WHATAREWEGONNADOWHATAREWEGONNADOWHATAREWEGONNADO!?
"Argghh...."Alys moaned and fell to the ground holding her stomach. Elcideon fell from her grasp and its blade dug into the ground, a ray of azure light streaked across the room to a trap door.
Alys quickly recollected herself, and grabbed Elcideon.
"I'll lead us out with what strength I have left," Alys said and began following the light.
The rest of the Agents followed.
"This looks awfully familiar," Celes stated.
* * *
The Captain
AS
Agent tC
Agent CAM bursted out of the trapdoor, and started running for it, following Alys. While Agent CAM was busy screaming, and flailing his arms about, a fissure opened right under him. Agent CAM made a blind grab for a ledge, and made it. Unfortunately this ledge was crumbling, like all of the other ledges in movies that someone grabs to avoid falling into a fissure.
"HELLLPPPP MMEEEE!!!!" Agent CAM screamed.
The next person to enter through the trapdoor was Agent tC, he immediately pulled out his hockey stick, Pucker Up, and offered the end of it to the dangling Agent CAM. Agent CAM grabbed Agent tC's hockey stick, and pulled himself up.
"Thanks Cap'n," Agent CAM said, "that was a close one."
"No prob," Agent tC replied.
"Now how on the Planet will we get across?" Agent Benit asked as she came through the trapdoor on the ceiling.
"I've got an idea," Agent tC said, "Rocket Town!" Suddenly the tons of e-mail that poured down filled up the seemingly bottomless fissure.
"Great idea!" Locke exclaimed as he came through the trapdoor on the ceiling.
"Right," Agent tC, "Now move out!"
* * *
Benit
As
Agent Benit
Agent Benit crossed over the e-mail filled fissure followed by Locke and Agent Erdrick, to a room with two doors to choose from. Agent Benit looked at here two choices, and then tossed a coin. The coin landed in front of the door to the right. Locke immediately ran towards that door, but Agent Benit caught him. Suddenly the room behind the door on the right exploded.
"That coin was disigned the moved towards rooms getting ready to explode," Agent Benit said. "What? Do you think I do things by chance?"
"Um, no," Locke replied, "This is starting to look familiar."
* * *
Tonamel
As
Agent Erdrick
Agent Erdrick, Solid Ekans, and Agent Axer were running down a long corridor trying to catch up to the rest of the Agents. Suddenly a mysterious Pokémon jumped out at them, Mega-Streussan.
"What the hell is that?" Solid Ekans questioned.
"Yeah," Agent Axer said pulling out Dexter, "What the hell is that thing, Dexter!?"
"Mega-Streussan," Dexter chimed, "An omni-type Pokémon."
"Omni-type!?" Agent Axer inquired.
"It has an advantage over all Pokémon," Dexter replied, "and has a disadvantage to all Pokémon."
"What on the Planet!?" Agent Erdrick exclaimed.
"Um, I'll handle this," Solid Ekans said pulling a PokéBall from his belt, "PuffDaddy, I choose you!" The Jigglypuff burst out of the Poke Ball Solid Ekans was holding. "Puffdaddy! Rap!"
PuffDaddy the Jigglypuff challenged Mega-Streussan to a PaRappa duel, since Barabra doesn't rap she missed every beat and was damaged appropriately. This only infuriated Mega-Streussan, and she breathed fire on the rappin' Jigglypuff causing him to faint.
"Puffdaddy, return!" Solid Ekans commanded calling back his Pokémon.
"I'll get her," Agent Erdrick announced holding his small squirt gun filled with lemon juice,"Ancient Warrior!" His equipment tranformed to Super Armor and Super Soaker filled with lemon juice."Oh well...." Agent Erdrick let loose a blast from his Super Soaker drenching Mega-Streussan with lemon juice which seeped into a wound caused by PuffDaddy. The pain caused her to faint.
"Lemon juice is super effective against Mega-Streussan," Dexter announced.
"I can see that," Agent Axer remarked.
"Mega-Streussan, I choose you!" a voice called as a PokéBall came down and captured Mega-Streussan.
"I finally caught one!" Agent CAM beamed picking up the PokéBall.
* * *
Brandon TCA
As
Solid Ekans
Agent Erdrick, Solid Ekans, Agent CAM, and Agent Axer raced further down the corridor in order to escape from the Tower of Bab-il with their lives. Unfortunately, they were soon cut off by twenty mechanical mothmen.
"Ahh! Mothmen!" Agent CAM screamed, "We're doomed!"
"I'll handle this!" Solid Ekans announced pulling out a Pokéball, "Squirtbert! Go!" The Blastoise burst from Solid Ekans' Pokéball. "Squirtbert, Bubblebeam!"
"Blastoise!" Squirtbert replied and blasted the mechanical mothmen with torrents of water and bubbles from the cannons in its sides. The mechanical mothmen began to thrash around as the water began to short circuit them.
"Now to unblock the path," Solid Ekans said throwing five chaff Voltorb Poke-ref Grenades. The Poke-ref Grenades exploded clearing the corridor of all of the mechanical mothmen, but the blast caused the ceiling above them to collapse.
"Squirtburt! Strength!" Solid Ekans commanded.
"Blastiose!" Squirtbert replied and used its massive arms to hold up the ceiling until the Agents could get by. By this time, Squirtbert was getting tired.
"Squirtbert, return!" Solid Ekans commanded, and Squirtbert jumped back into the PokéBall before the ceiling collapsed on him.
* * *
Axer
As
Agent Axer
Agent Artemis, Trainer Phantom Ghost, and the JBI were running down the corridor, but were suddenly stopped by the fact that the corridor was blocked by debris from a collapsed ceiling.
"Help us!" Trainer Phantom Ghost called, "We're trapped!"
"I'll handle this!" Agent Axer announced pulling all of his PokéBalls from his belt, "Pikachu-chu! Chimera! Midgar Zolom! Gold Chocobo! Parasect Eevee! GO!" All of his Pokemon responded by exiting their PokéBalls and entering the fray.
"Pikachu-chu! Thundershock!" Agent Axer commanded.
"Pikachu-chu!" Pikachu-chu replied and blasted the pile of debris.
"Chimera, Aqualung!"
"Chimera!"
"Midgar Zolom, Beta!"
"Midgar Zolom!"
"Gold Chocobo! Choco-meteor!"
"Gold Chocobo! Wark!"
"Parasect Eevee, combustion attack!"
"Parasect Eevee!"
The barrage of energy, fire, meteors, and water destroyed the debris making it possible for the others to use the corridor.
"Pokemon! Return!"
* * *
Princess Artemis
As
Agent Artemis
Agent Artemis, Trainer Phantom Ghost, the JBI, Agent Axer, Solid Ekans, Agent CAM, and Agent Erdrick caught up with Agent Benit, Locke, Celes, Agent tC, and Alys standing at a door leading to a flight of stairs.
"Why did we stop?" Agent CAM questioned.
"We're missing a few steps..." Alys replied sullenly.
"Hmmmm," Agent Artemis thought, "I know! CAM gimme a twinkie!"
"Ok....." Agent CAM replied and handed her a twinkie.
"Ok," Agent Artemis said, "When twinkies are mixed with Yuffie-cells, they crystalize. That's why it was one of the ingrediants to the cure of Fox Die. It should produce quite a hold, but now we need those stairs....."
"Aerodactyl! Fly!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded. Aerodactyl swooped down, picked up the missing stairs and held them in place.
"Ok," Agent Artemis said pulling out the vial of Yuffie blood and some of it suddenly evaporated, "It seems that because of all the Yuffies in the world disintegrating, this won't hold long." Agent Artemis mixed the Yuffie blood and Twinkie creme into a paste, and applied it to the cracks in the stairs. "There."
"Whoa," Agent Benit said, "That is a tight bind."
* * *
Phantom Ghost
As
Trainer Phantom Ghost
The Agents ran down the stairs until the reached a floor where Alys said, "Stop!"
"What is it?" Agent tC inquired.
"This is the altitude that Cid IV can reach," she replied, "We'll cut through the Weapons Research Department and Genetics research Department to get there. At the end of the path is an outside balcony."
"Ok," Agent Benit said, "Let's go!"
"But the door is welded shut!" Agent CAM protested.
"No prob," Trainer Phantom Ghost stated, "Aerodactyl, Hyper Beam!"
"Let me get out of th-" Agent CAM screamed as he was blasted through the reinforced steel door, "Ouchies......."
"Are you alright CAM?" Cele inquired.
"Do I look alright!?" Agent CAM barked, "I just got hit by a Hyper Beam!"
* * *
Hart and Domino
As
The JBI
The Agents ran through over was of the suspended walkway, but suddenly Agent Hart and Domino were distracted by a door that had labeled on it, "Pokémon Center."
"There's a Pokémon Center!" Agent Hart beamed.
"Yeah, now we can get Dead Farret healed," Agent Domino said.
"We don't have time for that," Alys said, "Come on, let's go!" The Agents continued down the walkway, but unknown to them, the JBI sliped into the PokéCenter.
"Welcome to the PokéCenter," the nurse chimed, "Would you like me to he-" Suddenly the nurse burst into dust.
"Hmmm," Agent Hart said, "she must have been a Yuffie-clone."
"Don't worry," Agent Domino said, "We can do this ourselves." Agent Hart pulled out the manual, and after thirty minutes of reading, they found that you place the Poke Ball in the device and push the "On" button.
"Those're certainly complicated instructions," Agent Hart stated. The room started crumbling.
"Crap......let's hurry up!" Agent Domino said place Dead Ferret's PokéBall in the machine and hit the "On" button. The machine's lights started to flash on and off, and the room started crumbling more.
"Come on! Hurry up, finish healing him!" Agent Hart coaxed, but the floor collapsed from under them sending them into whatever was below them.
* * *
Gray Fox
As
Agent Gray Fox
The Late Jimi Hendrix
As
Jimi
Agent GrayFox, Jimi, Agent Neener, D, Agent1469, and Mr.T were running down the corridor after the other Agents who just went down the stairs, and bolted through the stairs room. D, Agent1469, and Mr.T stepped onto the steps welded there by Agent Artemis' bounding agent. Unfortunately the Yuffie-blood in the mixture completely evaporated, causing the section of stairs to fall. D grabbed Agent1469 and Mr.T, and jumped to the other side of the stairs with his vampiric strength and agility. D shrugged and took his armload of A-Team through the blown open door.
"Now what about us......" Agent Gray Fox murmered.
"I don't know," Jimi replied.
"Don't worry, be happy," Agent Neener sang.
"Look its an elevator!" Agent GrayFox announced pointing towards the closed elevator doors, "Hmmm, they're welded shut."
"Fire!" Jimi sang strumming the '64 Fender Stratocaster. Torrents of fire shot from him and slammed into the elevator doors with such force, it opened the elevator doors.
"Ok, let's go!" Agent Gray Fox announced. They stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the floor Alys and them are on. The elevator slid down the shaft as an elevator music version of Are You Gonna Go My Way played.
* * *
Medina
As
Agent Neener
The elevator came to the desired floor, but these doors were welded shut also. Since the air conditioning blew out, Jimi had broke a sweat.
"Oh crap," Agent GrayFox said, "He's high. He won't be much use to us now."
"Are you gonna go my way!?" Agent Neener sang with the elevator music and the sound waves blew open the door. Agent Neener, Jimi, and Gray Fox stepped out of the elevator and joined Alys, Agent CAM, Solid Ekans, Agent Axer, Agent Erdrick, Agent Artemis, Agent Benit, Locke, Celes, and Trainer Phantom Ghost in running down the walkway.
"Why didn't we just do that?" Agent Artemis questioned.
* * *
Vampire Hunter D
As
D
D dropped his armload of A-Team out in front of the stairway door, only to be followed by the sound of the entire staircase collapsing. D, Agent1469, and Mr.T started running down the walkway, but was suddenly stopped when a large part of the walkway collapsed. D immediately jumped, propelling himself off of all of the large pieces of debris until he reached the other side. Once on sturdy ground again, D slammed his gloved fist down on a button on a control panel that caused an emergency bridge to roll out and fill the gap. A-Team resumed running down the walkway, and met up with the rest of the large cast of Agents.
"Nice to see you guys," Agent CAM said.
* * *
Rude
As
Agent1469
The FPS2 cast suddenly hit a dead end. A magnetically locked door in front leading into the Genetic Research Department.
"Now this is a tougher to pick," Locke stated as he pulled out a lock pick and then came to the realization the that thing won't work on a key pad lock.
"What a pro, thief!" Agent1469 signed, but of course Locke didn't make his usual "call me a Treasure Hunter or I'll rip out your lungs" remark due to the fact that he didn't understand sign language. Agent1469 glanced at the keypad through his sunglasses, punched in the Omni-code, and the door slid open.
"That simple," Agent1469 signed and beamed.
* * *
Alys Brangwin
As
Alys
The cast of FPS2 ran through the laboratorys of the Genetic Research Department in the Tower of Bab-il. She momentarily glanced at the glass tubing that gave her life, and she tripped. Elcideon flew from her grasp, and its blade stabbed into the ground. Suddenly the jewel in the center flashed, and an apparition of Rune Walsh appeared before her.
"Rune?" Alys stammered.
"Alys....." Rune started, "Your will is too strong to be stopped by something as minor as this. You will survive losing all of the Yuffie-cells in you if you were a cool RPG character.
"Who the hell came up with a spoony rule like that!?" Agent CAM questioned, but was only replied by Rune shrugging.
"I will be waiting for you on the other side...." Rune said.
"You mean in the afterlife?" Alys asked.
"No,"Rune replied, "On the other side of the Tower of Bab-il I'm waiting outside, you dolt!" The phantom of Rune disappeared in a flash of light just like how it came. Alys pulled Elcideon out of the ground and said,
"Move out!"
* * *
Negative Creep
As
Agent NC81
Agent NC81 sat in the Cryogenic Big Boy Rocket shivering with Dr. Mayhem and Mr. Bigglesworth.
"Its frickin' freezing in here!" Dr. Mayhem announced, "I'll get you for this, tea-lovers!"
"Meowww....." Mr. Bigglesworth shivered in reply.
"This sucks....." Agent NC81 so kindly pointed out.
* * *
Police Officer Aya Brea
As
Agent Aya
The cast of FPS2 ran down the another walkway with the balcony to safety within sight, but (yes, you guessed it) a portion of the walkway fell out.
"I can't make a jump like that," D said.
"Well to get the emergency bridge to slide out we have to hit that button four times," Agent Artemis said pointing to a large red button in the middle of the floor.
"Uh huh," Agent Axer nodded.
Suddenly Agent Aya flew in the room through the doorway in a small Shinra helicopter.
"I thought you were dead," Celes stated.
"Yeah," Agent Aya said, "I get that a lot."
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Ok, ok. Just grab onto the helicopter and I'll fly you across." Unfortunately Leonardo DiCaprio fell through the roof, and landed in the helicopter's propellar sending the chopper out of control. The chopper hit a nearby wall, and exploded. Agent Aya fell battered right on the button.
"Well that wasn't so bad," Agent Aya remarked. Suddenly Agent Hart fell through the ceiling and landed on Aya and the button, followed by Agent Domino.
"Ouchies....." Agent Aya murmered.
* * *
Blues
As
Blues 007
"Ok," Agent GrayFox started, "Now we just need one more person to fall through that ceiling and we're set."
As if on que, Blues 007 landed on the pile of people activating the sliding emergency bridge. The other Agents crossed collected the JBI, and Blues 007 and headed towards the balcony.
* * *
CAM
As
Agent CAM
Celes Chere
As
Celes
Locke Cole
As
Locke
As Agent CAM started across the emergency bridge last, he dropped a twinkie. Upon noticing this he immediately ran back to get it, but the emergency bridge collapsed leaving Agent CAM dangling at the edge again. Celes ran to him, and helped him back up.
"That was silly running back for a twinkie," Celes said.
"Right," Locke approached and without Celes noticing he tripped Agent CAM, and send Agent CAM plummeting towards the bottom.
"CAMMMMMM!!!!!!" Celes screamed. After a few minutes of silence, CAM's whip wrapped around Locke's leg, and Agent CAM pulled himself up and knocked Locke off the walkway in the process.
"CAM! You're alright!" Celes exclaimed and gave him a hug.
* * *
Mr.T
As
Mr.T
Finally the FPS2 Agents made it to the balcony. Cid IV flew the Big Whale up, and tossed out a rope ladder.
"Its too far Cid!" Agent Benit hollered. "We can't reach it!"
"You'll have to jump for it," Cid IV called,"I can't get closer due to falling debris."
"Like Magikarp, I'm jumping that far," Solid Ekans replied.
"If I had my van we wouldn't be in this mess," Mr.T muttered, "I have a plan!" Out of the blue Mr.T grabbed Blues 007 and tossed him aboard the Big Whale. "I'll just toss your asses on!" Before anyone could protest, Mr.T grabbed an Agent one by one, and tossed his/her ass on board the Big Whale.
"Now who'll toss Mr.T aboard?" Mr.T asked, "I wonder....." Mr.T grabbed his own foot, and used it to toss himself on board.
"Well it seems that everyone is here," Cid IV started, "So let's get the hell out of here!"
* * *
Cid Highwind
As
Cid IV
"What the?" Agent tC asked, "A typo?"
"Hell no!" Cid IV replied and pulled off a rubber mask to be revealed as Cid Highwind.
"How.....?" Agent Benit inquired.
"I've been travelling with you guys after I jumped on Cid IV when I fell out of that !@#$%^&& hot air balloon," Cid Highwind announced. "Check out an alteration I made for this thing." Cid pulled a lever and suddenly piece by piece of the Big Whale fell off, and revealed the Highwind.
"Full speed ahead Jerry!" Cid commanded, "Let's get the hell out of here!"
"Where on the Planet did Cid hide him?" Agent Benit whispered.
* * *
Cid Highwind, Shera Stargazer, and Cait Sith
As
Team Rocket Town
"What is that thing coming at us?" Shera asked.
"Meow, I don't know," Cait Sith replied.
Suddenly the Highwind pierced right through the hot air balloon, and carried the hot air balloon along with it.
"You'll pay for this Cid!" Shera called, "Looks like Team Rocket Town's blasting off again."
* * *
"The Tower of Bab-il is about to explode!" Alys exclaimed, "Can we make this thing go faster!?"
"No," Cid replied, "This is fast as the Highwind goes."
Alys ran to the deck, and looked towards the Tower of Bab-il. The Eight Stroke Sword Hunter drew Elcideon and lifted it skyward. Its white blade flared with azure light that covered Alys, and she began to float in the air.
"Can't hold on......" Alys grimaced.
* * *
Rune stood aboard the space ship the Landel looking from the port window. The fifth decendant of the Esper Lutz's glance turned to that of the Tower of Bab-il. It was crumpling at a rapid pace. He noticed an azure light flaring from an airship in the blast zone of the Tower of Bab-il.
[Can't hold on......] Alys' voice ran through his mind.
"Alys....." Rune replied, "Just hold on......."
* * *
[Alys.......] Runes voice spoke outloud to Alys [Just hold on........]
"Yes Rune......" Alys replied and concentrated. The blade of Elcideon shattered into glowing azure embers that encircled the Highwind. Suddenly, there was a large flash of light........
* * *
Cid Highwind regained consiousness a few minutes later.
"Is everyone alright?" he asked he gained nods in reply, "Where's Alys?"
"She was on the deck last I checked," D replied.
Cid suddenly saw her fall past the windows. "Shit" he replied. Cid grabbed the wheel of the Highwind and brought her into a dive. The Highwind dove under Alys and provided a "soft" landing for her.
All of the Agents ran on to the deck.
"Alys you're alright!" Agent CAM exclaimed. Suddenly, Locke landed on the deck, and CAM snapped his fingers.
"Locke! You're alright!" Agent Benit exclaimed.
"..........." D stated.
"Nice to see you again too, D" Alys replied, "Cid's flying saved me."
"I'd like to have a word to Cid about his driving," a feminine voice from the shadow's said.
"Who said that?" Cid asked nervously.
"Prepare for trouble......" the feminine voice started.
"And make it double," a squeaky cat voice said.
"To protect the world from decaffination."
"To unite all pilots withint our nation."
"Hey, you guys can't do this without me," Cid pleaded.
"To dennounce the evils of Nintendo's Glover," the feminine voice continued.
"To launch the Shinra No.26 to the stars above."
"Shera."
"Cait Sith."
Shera and Cait Sith emerged from the shadows.
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!" Shera finished.
"Meow, that's right!" Cait Sith broke in.
"Now to have a word with you about your flying, Captain," Shera snapped, grabbed Cid's ear, and dragged him below deck.
"Ow, ow, ow!" Cid said as he was being dragged below deck, "that really smarts."
* * *
All the Agents of FPS2 stood in the middle of Townsquare in Rocket Town. It was now time for them to go their seperate ways, in other words to their homes in Rocket Town. Agent CAM handed all of Edgar's tools to Edgar who stood on the deck of the BlackJack with Locke, Celes, and Setzer.
"Here's all of the tools I stole," Agent CAM stated, "Except for chainsaw, but I like it too much."
"No!" Edgar protested, "You give them all back!" Agent CAM started up the chainsaw. "Ok, keep it."
"Are you sure if I don't go back to our world it'll destroy the cosmic balance, Locke?" Celes inquired.
"Yes, I'm positive," Locke replied. The BlackJack raise its gangplank and started to fly off.
The other Agents waved goodbye to Agent CAM and headed to their homes. As Alys and D started to leave, Agent Gray Fox stopped them.
"Before you leave town," Agent Gray Fox started, "You have to pay my bar's tab." Agent Gray Fox handed her the bill.
"What!?" Alys exclaimed, "A million mesata! That was all spent on Bloody Mary's!" Alys glanced at D.
"You should be ashamed of youself!"
"..............."
Soon, everyone went their own way leaving Agent CAM in the middle of Townsquare looking up at the sky as the BlackJack left.
* * *
Celes sat in the corner of the deck, while Setzer was at the wheel with a tear in her eye. She looked up at him. Setzer nodded slightly, Celes immediately charged past Edgar and Locke and jumped over the port bow. At a very fast rate she made a quick descent into Agent CAM's arms, causing him to fall down and hit his head on a rock.
"Now where on the Planet will I stay in Rocket Town?" Celes asked.
"Why not crash at my place?" Agent CAM asked gesturing at Cid's house.
"That's Cid's house...." Celes said puzzled, "Do you rent a room there or something?"
"No," Agent CAM replied, "Shera let's me live in her car that's in the garage since I'm the official freeloader." Celes sighed.
* * *
Alys, and Vampire Hunter D never even got a chance to leave Rocket Town due to their large bar tab, one million mesata in Bloody Marys to be exact. Gray Fox's Den gets them every time. In order to pay their drinking debt, while A-Team weren't on any missions, D and Alys were forced to do odd jobs around Rocket Town.
"Help help!" Dr. Mayhem cried as he ran through Rocket Town flailing his arms.
"What is it?" Alys inquired raising an eyebrow.
"Mr. Bigglesworth got stuck in a tree!" Dr. Mayhem cried.
"......." D replied.
"That'll be a 10,000 mesata service charge," Alys announced.
"Um...ok...." Dr. Mayhem said scratching his head wondering What the hell is a mesata!?
"We accept gil too...." Alys said. It's a good thing Benit knows how to convert, she thought before saying, "So where is this tree your telling us about?"
"Its right over there," Dr. Mayhem replied pointing at a nearby tree.
"No problem!" Alys said as she unsheathed a Moon Slasher and flung it towards a tree. The slashers blade plowed through the tree, and returned to Alys. There was a painful meow in reply.
"Mr. Bigglesworth!" Dr. Mayhem cried, "NOOOOOO!!!!!!"
"I'm not sure if we're going to get paid this time," Alys said.
"Hey look!" Agent tC called pointing at Dr. Mayhem, "Get him!"
"Um, that'll be 10,000 Mesata!" Alys yelled back,"or gil."
"Fine," Agent tC shrugged.
"I guess their are bigger fish in the sea," Alys remarked.
Alys and D did very many other odd jobs, and finally raised a mixture 990,000 in gil or mesata. Unfortunately they were hired to kill "the vampire of Nibelheim" after their mission of "seeking and destroying" Don Corneo. (Both coming to fan fiction near you.) Vincent thinking something was terribly wrong referred them to a therapist, and group sessions that help him and AVALANCHE. When it finally helped D and Alys, the bill turned out to be 990,000, so they had lost all of their hard earned money. They, of course, relapsed thereafter.
* * *
Agent Gray Fox and Jimi got back to managing their bar, with the help of their bartender Agent Benit. Basically everything there was back to normal.....well, at least as normal as it gets in Rocket Town.
"So what will you have?" Agent Benit asked.
"I'll have an E-Special," Agent CAM replied, "and a coffee, some twinkies, and a martini served in a man's hat."
"Coming right up," Agent Benit said and started working behind the bar.
"So when are you going to pay your tab?" Agent Gray Fox asked.
"Um.....uh....." Agent CAM stammered as an animeish sweet drop appeared on his head, "um....when Cap'n sends me a check for working as the Official Freeloader....yeah that's right....."
"After he pays off his own tab," Agent Gray Fox replied.
"Um...yeah....." Agent tC said with an animeish sweetdrop of his own over his head.
"Hey Gray Fox!" Alys called as she and D walked through the bar door holding a help wanted sign,"What's the job? You know my usual fee is 10,000 mesata, or gil......"
"Well the job is quite simply really-" Agent Gray Fox started.
"No it's not," Agent Benit broke in, "It's so hard, we have trouble getting people to come back."
"Well, what is it?" Alys asked again, "In fact, I don't care! I'll take it."
"Um, ok......" Agent Gray Fox said, "There is a liqour shipment coming in tonight. Your job is to keep Agent tC and Agent CAM out of it before we can catalogue it and charge them."
Alys bit her lower lip.
"............." D sighed.
Agent tC and Agent CAM turned around in their barstools and said, "We look forward to workin' with ya."
"How 'bout a drink....." Agent CAM offered, "...on us!"
"Yeah sure......" Alys hesitantly replied, "gimme a glass of Bourbon."
"Bloody Mary," Vampire Hunter D quickly replied.
Alys, and VHD sat down at the bar and Agent Benit handed them their drinks. Alys, and D picked up the glasses started to drink their contents.
"The shipments in!" a loader yelled.
Alys and D sat down their drinks and turned to restrain Agent tC and Agent CAM, but all that was there were spinning barstools and a cartoonish puff of smoke.
"Noooo!!!!! Its too late!" Agent Gray Fox screamed.
No one ever tried to restrain Agent tC and Agent CAM again, except for AVALANCHE but they were even less successful. Agent Gray Fox lost severe amounts of money due to the constant drinking of shipments, unpaid bar tabs, and Agent Benit's exorbriant salary. Fortunately Agent Benit used her Minting Machine to save the bar.
* * *
Agent Neener released her CD Very Annoying Songs with the hit single "On Top of Spaghetti" on it that she was working on in the course of FPS2. Agent CAM, Celes, and Mr.T tried to go into the music business as well..........
"And that was Number 4, Lenny Kravitz's Are You Gonna Go My Way on the VH1 Countdown," the announcer said,"And now here is a new group that just debuted on the Top Ten list today. They call themselve TCC, the group consists of Mr.T, CAM, and Celes. Here is their hit single "No Foo's" from their album Fan Fiction."
* * *
Agent CAM, Celes, and Mr.T are dressed similiar to TLC in the video "No Scrubs".
"A foo' is a man that thinks he's tough, and is also know as a," Mr.T sang.
"Sucka!" the entire group sang.
"He thinks he's tough, but no matter what. I just toss his be-hind," Mr.T sang, "No don't want a piece of you, and no your not gonna get a piece of me. No your not going to touch my van, and yes I'm going to toss your ass now."
"No, I don't want no foo's!" the group sang, "A foo' is a man that gets no pity from me! Hanging off the side of Mr.T's ride, tryin' ta get a piece of meeeeee. No, I don't want no foo's, a foo' is a man that gets no pity from me! Hanging of the side of Mr.T's van tryin' ta get a piece of meeee."
"No foo's," Mr.T sang.
"No pity," Agent CAM and Celes sang.
"No foo's," Mr.T sang.
"No pity,' Agent CAM and Celes sang.
As Mr.T, Agent CAM, and Celes chanted. Alys and D came out and attempted to dance as the coriigrapher had written.
"This isn't going very well," Alys muttered, "but it was an easy 10,000 mesata."
"........." D replied.
* * *
"And that's all you get to see of "No foo's" since people don't show the whole video anymore," the announcer said. "Now here's Agent Neener with "On Top of Spaghetti" at number two on the countdown from her Quadruple Platinum Album Very Annoying Songs ."
"On top of spaghetti-" Agent Neener sang.
"That was all you get to see of "On Top of Spaghetti"," the announcer said, "Now here is our number 1 video that we cut all of the other videos to make room to show the whole thing of! "The Darkened Items Won't Appear" by the Cute Animal Characters from their Album title The Darkened Items Won't Appear.
After five months, Agent Neener finally got the number one spot with her very annoying remake of "Greasy Grimy Gofer Guts." TCC made number two with "Don't Go Chasin' Mr.T ('Cuz his van is helluva fast you see.)" Unfortunately The Cute Animal Characters retaliated with "I had a good feeling. This's the way!".
Agent CAM later was able to get enough money from Fan Fiction to pay off his tab, and used the money to move out of Cid's garage to the slums of RockeT CanyoN. Later he was elected Captain and moved into a huge mansion in the middle of town. Currently TCC are touring the Planet with Lenny Kravitz, unfortunately after the first concert Lenny filed for a Restraining Order.
* * *
Agent Erdrick....well I forgot what happened to him............ Oh wait, now I remember! He joined Dr. Mayhem's Team due to lack of notice from the FPS2 Agents. Unfortunately he wasn't treated much different. Alys and D tried to join up as well since the pay was better, but weren't allowed due to the "Mr.Bigglesworth Incident."
* * *
The JBI, Agent Hart and Domino, decided to earn all of their Pokémon Badges to join the League. The first Gym Leader they challenged was the Rocket Town Gym Leader.
"Your challenging me?" Gym Leader Cid Highwind inquired.
"Yeah, that's right," Agent Domino replied.
"Ok....." Cid said, "Dragonite! Go!" Dragonite burst out of Cid's Pokéball.
"Dead Ferret, go!" Agent Domino commanded.
"Dragonite! Hyper Beam!" Cid commanded. The Hyper Beam nuked the poor dead ferret.
"Oh no!" Agent Hart screamed, "We've been defeated! We better get Dead Ferret to the Pokémon Center before his condition worsens!" The JBI quickly rushed their injured Pokémon to the Rocket Town Pokémon Center.
"Welcome to the Pokemon Center!" Alys chimed dressed up as Joy.
"Quicky, you've got to save our Dead Ferret!" Agent Domino screamed.
"D get the stretcher!" Alys called, "God, I hate this job......."
Fortunately with the help of D and Alys, Dead Ferret recovered and survived. After five months of strenous training, Dead Ferret finally evolved into Decaying Ferret. With Decaying Ferret's Stench Cloud attack, The JBI were finally able to earn the Highwind Badge. Unfortunately Decaying Ferret didn't do much good againt the Nibelheim Gym Leader, Vincent, and his Ghost Pokemon.
* * *
After a little problem with Yahoo! Geoshities, Agent tC gave up eating and sleeping to move and rebuild Rocket Town out of their reach. This caused him to suffer from brain disfunctions, malnutrition, and heat stroke. After a month of being nursed back to health by Shera, Agent tC made a try at it again.....with some hired help.
Agent tC was sitting in a lawn chair sipping some herbal tea, while watching Alys and Vampire Hunter D build the recreation of Rocket Town.
"You know," Alys said, "Yahoo backed down, we don't have to be doing this now."
"We've gone through so much," Agent tC said, "Why stop now?"
"Because we've only built the @#$%ing rocket!" Alys replied.
"And not very well I see," Agent tC remarks and then takes a drink of tea, "The Shinra No.26 is supposed to lean at a 67 Degree angle. What you built is leaning at a 68 Degree Angle."
"Who the @#$% cares!" Alys exclaimed.
"I think you'll need to start over," Agent tC replied and Alys literally turned red.
"What do you @#$%@$#%@$#@$%@#$ mean!" Alys yelled and continued to yell suck foul obseneties that it was heard all the way over to Rocket Town and made Cid cringe.
Alys promptly beat Agent tC up so badly that he had to eat through a straw for two months. Agent tC finally rebuilt Rocket Town with the help with some borrowed Moth Men Slave Labor from RockeT CanyoN.
* * *
Solid Ekans, Agent Axer, and Trainer Phantom Ghost all decided to get their badges and become Pokémon Masters. Their first challenge was defeating the leader of the Rocket Town Gym.
"I'll suppose I'll go first," Trainer Phantom Ghost started, "Cid! I challenge you to a Pokémon match!"
"On behalf of the Planet's Pokémon league," Cid said, "I accept!"
"Aerodactyl! I choose you!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded, "Hyper beam!"
"Dragonite! Go!" Cid commanded, "Hyper Beam!"
Both Pokémon responded, and fired a Hyper Beam at each other. Both Hyper Beams hit home, causing the Aerodactyl and Dragonite to faint.
"Aerodactyl return!" Trainer Phantom commanded withdrawing his Pokémon, "Gengar go!"
"Gengar," Gengar replied.
"Pidgeot! Go!" Cid commanded calling his Pidgeot into the fray from his PokéBall.
"Gengar! Hypnosis!" Trainer Phantom Ghost replied.
"Gengar!" Gengar released sleep waves that put Pidgeot to sleep.
"Gengar! Dream eater!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded. Gengar started his attack, but it failed since Pidgeot woke up in the nick of time.
"Pidgeot! Fly!" Cid commanded. Pidgeot took to the sky, and swooped down at Gengar but couldn't hurt him since he's ethereal.
"Damn," Cid cursed, "Pidgeot, gust!" Pidgeot flapped its wings furiously creating a whirlwind that battered Gengar.
"Gengar! Night Shade!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded in desperation. Gengar blasted Pidgeot to the point of fainting with some Night Shade.
"Pidgeot, return! Fearow go!" Cid commanded, "Fearow! Peck!"
"Fearow!" Fearow swooped down, but was ineffective as Gengar was ethereal.
"Gengar, lick!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded.
"Gengar!" Gengar smacked the flying type Pokémon with his tongue paralyzing it.
"Fearow, return!" Cid commanded, "Gyrados! I choose you! Hydropump!"
"Gyrados!" Gyrados replied as he exited the Poke Ball and caused streams of waters to burst from under Gengar causing him to faint.
"Magikarp....." Solid Ekans cursed looking the the towering Dragon/Water type.
"No, that is Magikarp's evolved form," Dexter chimed.
"I know that!" Solid Ekans replied.
"Gengar, return!" Trainer Phantom Ghost withdrew his fallen Ghost type, "Yuffiesaurus Rex go!"
"Yuffie type is super effective against any Pokemon owned by Cid," Dexter chimed.
"Cool......" Axer replied.
"Yuffiesaurus, Annoyance Attack now!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded.
"Like, Yuffiesaurus and stuff," Y-Rex replied and started annoying Gym Leader Cid's Gyrados to the point it wants to jump back into its Poke Ball, and it does.
"I think that counts as a win," Alys said since she was refing the match.
"................" D replied.
"@#$%#. Well, here's your damn Highwind Badge," Cid barked.
"Alright!" Trainer Phantom Ghost beamed.
Solid Ekans, and Agent Axer were also successful in defeating Gym Leader Cid of Rocket Town. Trainer Phantom Ghost, Solid Ekans, and Agent Axer eventually defeated all of the Gym Leaders of the planet, and even became Pokemon Masters. The trio formed the Planet's Elite Four along with Pokemon Master Shera. Trainer Phantom Ghost became the master of Ghost Pokemon, Solid Ekans became the master of MGS Ref Pokemon, Agent Axer became the master of RPG Reference Pokemon, and Pokemon Master Shera was the master of Dragon/Flying Pokemon. Just like Gym Leader Cid, just better. Solid Ekans ran into a few different scenarios though.
"Boy, business sure is slow," Solid Ekans sighed as he ran his small stand devoted to Daravon propaganda. It was getting harder and harder for him to spread around his Daravon propaganda ever since Cosmo Canyon shut down. Suddenly a truck sped by containing Moth Men being shipped to RockeT CanyoN, with a huge sign on it that said "RockeT CanyoN: This guy are sick!".
"This is great!" Solid Ekans exclaimed gather all of his things and ran after the truck.
* * *
Agent1469 decided to go hang out with his old Turk friends again. They were currently taking up space in Gray Fox's Den.
"One E-Special," Reno said.
"One E-Special," Elena said.
"One E-Special," Agent1469 signed.
"Coming right up," Agent Benit said, and fixed them their E-specials.
"And here's you bill," Agent Gray Fox so graciously said and handed it to them.
"Um, this is on you, Rude,' Reno said, "Unless you say no."
"NO!" Agent1469 signed.
"I didn't hear anything," Reno said, "So I guess that's a yes."
"Isn't that a low-down rotten scheme," Alys remarked while mopping the floor.
"..................." D replied.
"I know, it's awful."
* * *
Shera decided to go to Costa Del Sol for a month, while hiring someone else to take her place.
Alys was sitting in an easy chair sipping some tea with her feet propped up on the table, and D was sleeping on the couch.
"Hey, where's my damn tea!" Alys yelled.
"But you already have some damn tea," Cid wearing an apron and mopping the floor barked.
"Well, I'm almost out!" Alys yelled back, "I think I like this job......" D snored in reply.
After a month of hell, Shera finally came back and things were back to normal.
* * *
Agent Artemis walked into her home after Stephen Sloan had been defeated, and everyone (except Aya) made it back to Rocket Town safely. Since not a single light in the house was on, Agent Artemis slide her hand over the wall blindedly searching for the switch. Agent Artemis flipped on the lights, and was greeted by.........
"Surprise!" all of the FPS2 Agents cried out.
Agent Artemis, since she'd been drinking Ultimate Tea again making her super paranoid, screamed and jumped back holding her sais out. Agent Artemis relaxed as she soon discovered that it was only he friends, and that their were various party supplys thrown about the room plus a big banner that read "Happy Retirement Princess Artemis!"
"Gee, thanks guys," Princess Artemis replied, "but I don't see how you could put all of this up in a matter of fifteen minutes."
"I was preparing all of this since you left," the Mistress of Tea, Shera, replied.
"Oh," Princess Artemis replied.
"Happy retirement," Shera said and handed Princess Artemis a customized Golden Tea Cup.
"Cool!" Princess Artemis exclaimed.
"Hey Captain," Blues 007 said, "How come I don't get a party? And what going away present do I get?"
"Um.......uh....." Agent tC stammered, "You get to work at RockeT CanyoN!"
"Is that a good thing?" Blues 007 asked.
"Would you like some cake?" Alys asked, "and remember to refer the D and Alys catering service to your friends. Just 10,000 Mesata."
Princess Artemis lived her life normally since then, except when she snuck into RockeT CanyoN, witnessed the awful crime of Mothmen slave labor, was caught, got her memory erased, and regained it to exposed RockeT CanyoN. Blues 007 still works there changing the paper towels in the bathrooms, daily.
* * *
During the Retirement Celebration, Agent Aya announced she was going to marry Wedge and Vicks was going to be their best man.
"I just can't handle weddings," Agent CAM said crying.
"I don't think this will last long," Celes replied.
Suddenly the "Here Comes the Bride" song cues up, and Aya walked down the aisle with Daniel, who was going to give away the bride.
"Ok, I'm not going to make this long," Cid said,"Ok, Aya do you want Wedge to be your lawfully wedded husband, yadda yadda yadda, til death due you part.....? Um, let's just cut out the til death do you part stuff."
"I do," Agent Aya replied.
"And you Wedge?"
"I do."
"Ok, as the Mayor of Rocket Town I know pronouce you husband and wife," Cid announced, "Now I'm getting out of here before something bad happens."
At the reception, of course catered by the Alys and D catering services.
"Now its time to cut the cake," Alys declared.
Agent Aya and Wedge came up to the cake. Once the knife cut into the cake it detonated, killing Aya and Wedge. The Husband and Wife sitting on the top turned into a projectile that impaled Vicks.
"That was interesting," Agent tC remarked.
"I don't think people will refer us to their friends anymore," Alys said.
".........," D replied.
Agent Aya, Vicks, and Wedge soon turned up again. Vicks got jealous, challenged Wedge to a duel, and they were both killed. Agent Aya soon filed for divorce.
~FIN
THE AUTHORS:
Axer, Artemis, Benit, CAM, the Captain, NC81 (NegativeCreep 81), 007-Blues, Gray Fox, Neener, Phantom Ghost, Solid Ekans and Darkinspiration.
Oh yeah, and Erdrick ^_^
COMPILED BY:
Benit
THANKS TO:
Blues, for giving me the idea subconsciously to compile this story
Princess Artemis and CAM, for hosting this story on their webpages (and anyone else that does in the future)
CAM, for accidentally starting this fic entirely
Axer, for not cattle-prodding me to work on this, unlike Gray
It was fun! Until FPS3.....
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