Final Pokémon Solid 2
Section 10
Agent Benit, Locke, The JBI, Solid Ekans, Bob, Agent Axer, and Agent Artemis were in the flight room of the Big Whale.
"Who are we missing?" Agent Axer asked.
"Agent Erdrick, Blues-007, and Agent NC81 are still in there," Agent Benit replied as she looked back at the Tower of Bab-il and then noticed a huge geyser of Citra erupting from Midgar. Suddenly her concentration was broken by her PHS ringing.
"Hello?" Agent Benit said answering the phone.
"Benit sucka!" Mr.T said on the other side of the line.
"Mr.T?" Agent Benit replied.
"No time for bein' formal foo'!" Mr.T barked. "You gotta get to St. George's Book Shop, and fast!"
The other side of the line went dead.
"Where in the spoony is that!?" Locke exclaimed.
"Its in New Orleans on the corner of Bourbon street," Agent Axer explained.
"Oh."
* * *
Agent Benit landed the Big Whale in front of St. George's Bookshop. The large group immediately rushed into the small store. Agent Neener confronted them, distressed.
"Come quick!" Agent Neener said taking them along with her into the back room.
A sight of horror came to group. Agent Gray Fox layed in a makeshift bed of clothes made for him, Agent Gray Fox himself was covered in sweat and unconsious. Laying in GK's "bed" was Alys attempting to keep her consciousness, suffering evenmore to do so. Though the only horrible thing Locke saw was Celes in CAM's arms crying her heart out.
"What on Earth happened!?" Agent Benit exclaimed.
"Well, Alys just passed out in the middle of a conversation," Grace explained, "so we called Mr.T down here."
"Then while we were driving back Gray Fox passed out...." Jimi replied.
"How could you, Celes!?" Locke exclaimed.
"What?" Celes sobbed.
"You've been seeing another man!" Locke snapped.
"Your actually caring more about that in a time like this!" Agent CAM snapped back.
"Even though I don't really care," Celes added gesturing at Agent Benit, "But you haven't been completely faithful yourself."
"What!?" Locke exclaimed.
"Hey!" Agent Benit broke in, "We're just partners!"
"I'm just dropping this," Locke said, then tackled the unsuspecting Agent CAM, and started to punch in his face in. Agent CAM grabbed Locke by the throat, reversed, and started punching Locke. Locke then grabbed Agent CAM by the throat, and Agent CAM did the same. The two rolled around on the floor, strangling one another.
Suddenly the phone in the next room rang, breaking up the fight.
"That must be Gerde calling back from Rittersburg," Gabriel said and walked into the next room.
"St. George's Bookshop," Gabriel answered.
"Hello, this is Dr. Green, Mr. Knight," Dr. Green said on the other side of the line,"I see that Fox Die has taken effect now. Your friends should be dying soon. But just to mess with your mind and to keep up the classic villain tell the hero his plan cliche, I'll give you two hints of what the cure to Fox Die is. First clue, there's two ingredients to the cure. Second clue, the Captain knows what one of those ingredients are." Dr. Green's voice went dead.
"Who was that?" Agent Artemis inquired.
"It was Dr. Green," GK started, "He said that they were suffering from Fox Die. He also gave me two clues to the cure: there are two ingrediants, and the Captain knows one of them."
"But I don't know the cure," good Trainer tC stated.
"Hmm, I guess that the two Captains share not only different personalities," Agent Artemis said, "But also different traits. It seems that evil Trainer tC has all of Captain's good traits: HTML knowledge, the ability to make CG's, knowing one of the ingredients, et cetera. While good Trainer tC is just passive..... So that means that evil Trainer tC is our only hope for curing Fox Die."
"That means we have to combine them again to get the cure out of him," Solid Ekans said.
"One of the ingredients is Twinkies!" Mr.T broke. "I heard those villain suckas talkin' 'bout it."
"Twinkies?" Agent Artemis said, examining the ingrediaets to Twinkies. "Oh I see why." Agent Artemis pointed out that under the list of ingredients was "One of the two mysterious things that will cure Fox Die." Agent CAM blinked.
"We'll need some Twinkies, then," Agent Neener said.
"But I'm out....." Agent CAM said.
"Well, you'll have to get more," Solid Ekans suggested.
"D....." Alys weakly whispered.
"Yes, Alys," D replied.
"Five years ago...." Alys whispered, "was I there in Aeido?"
The vampeel bowed his head. "No, you weren't...you were dead.....you gave your life to save Chaz."
"Chaz? What kind of a spoony name is that?" Agent Neener broke in, and was given a swift elbow by Agent Benit. Alys slipped into unconiousness.
"She's given up....." Agent Artemis said flicking a tear from her eye.
"This is so sad," good Trainer tC broke into tears.
"I can't bear to see the Cap'n like this," Agent CAM said, lifting up Agent1469's shotgun.
"No CAM!" Agent Artemis said wrestling the gun away from Agent CAM, "Putting the Captain out of his misery won't solve anything."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Hey guys!" Agent Benit called, "D just stole the Big Whale!"
* * *
"Well, this certainly sucks," Agent NC81 so delightfully pointed out as Yuffie-clones were carrying Agent Erdrick, Blues-007, and NC81 away to the dungeon. Suddenly all the Yuffie-clones grabbed their chests as if in pain, and then collasped. The falling ventalation duct broke open on contact with the floor, freeing the trapped Agents.
"Yeah, take that you Yuffie-clones!" Agent Erdrick said standing on top of the pile of deceased Yuffies.
"I really don't think you beat them all...." Blues-007 broke in.
"I say we get the hell out of here," Agent NC81 suggested. Agent NC81, Erdrick, and Blues 007 ran to the what's left of the Enterprise-F and climbed inside.
"Who in the spoony?" Cid IV inquired, "'bout time I show up again."
"Get us out of here!" Agent Erdrick panicked.
"Um, sure," Cid IV replied, "I'll just use the Enterprise-F's scanner to locate everyone."
Cid IV used the scanner in the Enterprise-F to locate everyone at St. George's Book Shop, the Enterprise-F parked itself by the Epoch. Agent NC81, Erdrick, and Blues-007 ran into the store.
"Hey guys!" Agent Erdrick called.
"Who are you?" Grace asked.
"Everyone always forgets me...." Agent Erdrick pouted.
"No," Grace replied, "I think its the fact that I've never seen you before in my life."
"How did you guys escape?" Agent Axer said glumly.
"Well, since Fox Die activated, it killed all the Yuffie-clones guarding us," Agent NC81, "I think Fox Die activating was one the best things that could happen to us." All the Agents sans Gray Fox and Alys were glaring at the trio madly.
"You guys look sad for some reason," Agent NC81 said. "What are you mad at me for!? It's not like someone important died or anything!"
* * *
"Why are all the Yuffie-clones dying!?" Villain #5 barked.
"Because Dr.Green activated Fox Die, sir," Villain #1 replied.
"Your a jerk evil Trainer tC!" Villain#3 broke in, "I hate you!"
"Vhat did I do!?" evil Trainer tC remarked.
"You didn't kill yourself," Villain #3 said, "this wouldn't have happened if you would have done so."
"Yeah, Bu-erm Villain #3 is right," Villain #1 sucked up, "it's all your fault."
"As a punishment," Villain #3 said,"You have to go kill Dr.Green."
"Fine comrade," evil Trainer tC rolled his eyes and walked off.
Suddenly Zio's music cued up, and black mists filled the room. Zio stepped out of the mists with a frightening smile on his face.
"What is it Zio?" Villain #5 asked, "Did you discover how to revive the Ultimate Evil?"
"Yes, indeed," Zio replied. "After much consulting with Dark Force, I've come up with the missing ingredient to reviving the dead. I do not know how Dr.Green did it, but just Ultimate Tea and Yuffie Cells didn't do it alone. A shame the he had to kill our only sample."
"What is this ingredient?" Villain #3 asked.
"Its a very explosive liquid," Zio started, "Mortals call it Citra." Zio held high a can of Citra, but it fell through his hand and hit the ground.
"Mmmm, Citra," Villain #1 said, picking up the can.
"No, you fool!" Zio exclaimed. "If you do that, you'll cause it to explode."
"Oh."
"As I was saying," Zio said, "since we are low on Yuffie-clones I suggest, we move to Phase Two."
"Phase Two?" Villain #1 inquired, examining his can of Citra.
"Yes," Zio said. "That is when I put a force-field around the Tower of Bab-il, use the rocket boosters to make it float in the air, and then ressurrect the Ultimate Evil from a remote lab."
"Oh," Villain #1 nodded. "Mmmmm....Citra." Villain #1 opened the can of Citra...
* * *
Meanwhile, only five feet away from the Tower of Bab-il, Master Tonberry was waddling along his merry own way. Suddenly, Citra bursted from all the windows in the tower of Bab-il, and poured all over Master Tonberry. The now Citra soaked Pokeman only waddled on after his target, St. George's Bookshop.
* * *
"Well, how I was supposed to know that Agent Gray Fox and Alys were dying!?" Agent NC81 exclaimed.
"You're so inconsiderate," Locke said.
"Oh, look who's talking," Agent CAM remarked. Locke immediately replied by grabbing Agent CAM by the throat and started to strangle him, and Agent CAM did the same.
"Um, I we shouldn't just stand around and watch this fight," Agent Axer stated, "We've got to do something."
"Yeah," Agent Benit agreed and then knocked Agent CAM and Locke unconsious with the end of her glaive.
"I was thinking of something pertaining to saving Agent Gray Fox, and Alys," Agent Axer replied.
"Oh," Agent Benit said.
"Well, I've got an idea," Agent Axer said, "We'll have to split up into three teams. A-Team will go to the Twinkie factory to pick up some more twinkies; Agent Benit, Trainer Phantom Ghost, Locke, good Trainer tC, the JBI, Solid Ekans, Agent NC81, and Blues 007 will go capture evil Trainer tC ; Agent Artemis, Grace, Gabe, Jimi, and I will stay here and watch over Agent Gray Fox and Alys."
"What about me?" Agent Erdrick said.
"Oh yeah," Agent Axer said, "I forgot about you. You can go with the guys to get good Trainer tC."
"Forgot? WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Agent Erdrick cried.
"I can't stand to see Agent, um, what's-his-name like this," Agent CAM said, holding Agent1469's shotgun.
"No, CAM!" Agent Artemis exclaimed as she pulled the gun away from Agent CAM.
* * *
They were the best of times, they were the worst of times. Ok, they were the down right crappy times.
The FPS Agents were having. Agent Gray Fox and Alys were dying, D was missing, and the only man that could set things right was a man split in two: Trainer tC. In one corner was a good Trainer tC that was all goody-good twoshoes living only happy and sad emotions, and possesses nonviolent Pokeman that only spread happiness around the world. In the other corner was evil Trainer tC with his heavy Russian accent and rapier was the key to solving the mystery of Fox Die. He knew HTML, how to make CG's, possessed Pokemon of immense power, and was a great fighter. Gee, I wonder who the underdog is here?
Well there are many other sub-adventures that lead up to the saving of the FPS Agents, but this one is so immense it needed its own chapter. Let's get ready to rumble!!!!
* * *
Agent Benit, Locke, The JBI, Solid Ekans, Bob, Agent Erdrick, Blues 007, Agent NC81, Trainer Phantom Ghost, and good Trainer tC had flown immediately to The American Museum of Natural History in Midgar to confront Dr. Green.
"It's locked," Agent Benit replied as she tried the door to the museum.
"Magikarp," Solid Ekans muttered.
"Well, gee, that isn't much to stop us," Locke replied as he picked the lock on the door. The FPS Agents stepped through the threshold into the museum.
* * *
Villain #1 was currently sitting in a chair watching Titanic, and seemed to be the only one in the room that enjoyed doing so.
"That's my favorite movie," Villain #1 stated. The other Villains only rolled their eyes. Suddenly a transparent misty figure appeared in the middle of the room in a transmission.
"Ahhhhhh! Its Darth Siduous!" Villain #5 screamed.
"No, its me, Zio, you dolt!" Zio's tranmission yelled at Villain #5, "Anyway, I've placed the force-field around the tower of Bab-il, and the rocket boosters are almost ready. Oh yes, and a source has informed me that the Agents are attempting to cure Fox Die."
"Trying to cure Fox Die!?" Villain #2 snapped, "Well then, we have to destroy the Hostess factory. Doing it finacially didn't work, so maybe just hitting it with a train full of TNT will do something."
"So we need to launch that train that plows through North Corel with all that dynamite on it?" Villain #1 asked.
"Yes," Villain #2 answered. "Launch the train!"
* * *
Agent CAM, Mr.T, Agent1469, and Celes stood on a hill overlooking Rocket Town in a cool fashion.
"What on the Planet!?" Agent CAM inquired pointing at the horizon.
"Its the Tower of Bab-il," Cele replied, "But it's flying in the air."
"I pity the foo' with flyin' towers," Mr.T muttered.
"Look over there," Agent1469 signed but since no one understood him he just pointed at a train heading straight for North Corel and the Hostess Factory.
"North Corel...." Celes replied, "this seems vaugely familiar."
"There's Youth Centers in North Corel!" Mr.T said. "I pity the foo' tryin' to destroy Youth Centers!"
"We'll split up," Agent CAM said, "Celes and I will get the Twinkies, and Agent1469 and Mr.T will go save North Corel."
"That sounds like a pla,n Hannibal!" Mr.T replied.
"Did you just call me Hannibal?" Agent CAM asked.
"Yes."
* * *
Meanwhile at St. George's Bookshop, Gabriel Knight was enjoying another cup of coffee, Agent Neener was working on her remix of "On Top of Spaghetti" in Gabe's studio, Jimi was working on the FPS2: The Soundtrack, Agent Axer was enjoying a vividly colored potatoE, Grace was rumaging through her gigantic pile of random newspaper clippings, and Agent Artemis studied a sample of Yuffie-clone blood sample in a simple microscope.
Suddenly Gabe pulled a clipping from the pile and said, "Here it is!"
"What?" Grace inquired.
"An article on house cleaning by Shera. My room should really use scrubbing."
"No, Gabriel, I don't even think Shera could fix your room....." Grace replied, "Or would want to. I think that fridge of yours is going to kill me someday....."
"We've seen worse," GK said.
"I think your studio is just as bad as they come," Grace said, "but anyway, I found that article on Dr. Green I told you all about. Its says here that he used to teach Science at South Charleston Junior High, until he decided to go into the field of genetic engineering. He was working for a sperm bank until he cloned the first human, a small boy he called Little Johnny. There was really no harm or concern about this, except for the fact he used normal sperm and a mysterious egg delivered to him from Nibelheim by a Doctor Vail. He was promptly kicked out of the institution, but quickly offered a job by the Pentagon in Genetic Engineering. All they know about him now is that he is working with cells from the dreaded Yuffie, and he had a body from Aiedo transported to him."
"Isn't Aiedo where Alys from?" Agent Axer inquired.
"I think so," Agent Artemis replied.
* * *
Dr. Green was sitting in his office typing away at his computer's keyboard in an attempt to load a virus into the Captain's computer. Little Johnny was watching TV. Suddenly "Fly Away" entered Dr. Green's ear, and he turned to Little Johnny. "Now what did I tell you about Lenny Kravitz!?"
"I don't want to say it....." Little Johnny whined.
"Little Johnny!"
"Lenny Kravitz is the devil."
"Right Little Johnny."
Suddenly a knock came upon Dr. Green's door.
"Who is it?" Dr. Green inquired with a neck twitch.
"Uh, room service," Locke replied on the other side.
"Oh, ok," Dr. Green said as he unlocked the door. "Waitaminute! This isn't a hotel!" Dr. Green tried to re-lock the door, but he was too late. The FPS Agents on the other side had busted through the door, knocking Dr. Green down.
"We've got you now, Dr. Green!" Agent Benit said.
"Little Johnny, get them!" Dr. Green commanded.
"DIE!" Little Johnny yelled out and ran towards Locke and proceeded to bite his knee-caps.
"AHH! My kneecaps!" Locke cried out in pain.
"Take this!" Agent NC81 said as she kicked Little Johnny off of Locke and into the wall.
"You shouldn't have done that," Dr. Green murmered.
"Why!?" Agent NC81 exclaimed. "What could he do to me?" Suddenly Little Johnny started to morph; he grew fifteen feet tall, grew many slimy green tentacles, and all those other Jenova-like features.
Jenova Johnny just looked down at his oppenents, picked up Agent Erdrick and NC81, and started pounding their heads into the ceiling. Agent Benit brought down Saturn Rhasody and severed the tentacle holding Agent NC81, and Locke slashed with Excaliber severing the tentacle holding Agent Erdrick.
"Yuffraptor! I choose you!" Trainer Phantom Ghost while a Yuffraptor burst from the hand-sized Pokéball.
"Yuffraptor....uh....KILL!" Yuffraptor charged Jenova Johnny and ripped a tentacle off, and began to chew on it. Agent NC81 wrapped her wallet chain around her knuckles and proceded to punch the crap out of Jenova Johnny. Solid Ekans fired a limited size Chu-Chu from his Rabid Chu-Chu launcher and the Chu-Chu proceded to tear tentacles off of Jenova Johnny, and Agent Domino looked for a weapon to use on Jenova Johnny so he grabbed Agent Hart and hit Jenova Johnny with him. Good Trainer tC promptly ran into a corner to hide. The severed tentacles of Jenova Johnny melted into green slime, and all the stumbs where tentacles once were regenerated into two more tentacles.
"Spoony it all!" Agent Benit cried out. "Jenova Johnny just keeps regenerating."
"Feel my wrath!" Blues-007 cried out as he charged Jenova Johnny with Spectre risen, but the Jenova monster simply swatted him away. Infuriated, Blues-007 brought himself to his feet and he was surrounded by a red haze. With rage in his eyes, Blues-007 used his Limit Break, Sword Dance, chopping all of Jenova Johnny's tentacles off in an Omni-slash-like attack.
"Feel my wrath too!" Agent Erdrick yelled as he fired on Jenova Johnny repeatedly with his squirt-gun full of lemon juice. The lemon juice seeped into Jenova Johnny's wounds before the tentacles were given a chance to regenerate.
"Argghhhh!" Jenova Johnny cried in pain as lemon juice was added to his wounds stopping his regeneration.
"I'll use this distraction to kill Good Trainer tC," Dr. Green announced as he crept towards good Trainer tC with scapel in hand.
"Like hell you are," Trainer Phantom Ghost said as he was being covered in a red haze. "Chandelier Drop!" Suddenly a chandelier landed on top of Dr. Green's head.
"Ouch," Dr. Green said before he passed out, "How did you know?"
"You said what you were going to do out loud," Trainer Phantom Ghost replied, and then Dr. Green passed out.
"I think we need to finish off Jenova Johnny once and for all," Agent Benit said and Locke nodded. A red haze covered the both of them, and on que. "Gold Whale!" Agent Benit pelted the Jenova creature with gold coins, while Locke called a volley of the best missles from the Big Whale (wherever it may be) onto Jenova Johnny. All that was left of poor Jenova Johnny was a small puddle of green slime.
Dr. Green suddenly recovered from his unconsiousness. "You think this is over!" Dr. Green grabbed a seringe full of liquid, and injected it into himself. "I have just injected myself with Jenova Cells, let's see the results."
"No, you didn't," Trainer Phantom Ghost stated. "That was cyanide."
"Oh...." Dr. Green replied, "....@#*^$." Suddenly Dr. Green underwent a thirty minute convulsion of neck twitching which left Dr. Green on the ground moaning. "Ow, it didn't kill me, it only badly hurt me. It hurts, it hurts, someone call the ambulance! It didn't kill me! It hurts!" Dr. Green brought himself to his feet.
Suddenly a cheesey BFM portal opened up above Dr. Green, and out fell evil Trainer tC who ran through Dr. Green with Rapier Wit.
"Ow, you stabbed me!" Dr. Green cried out. "Why did you stab me!? It hurts like hell!"
"Hmm, dat didn't kill you," evil Trainer tC replied and flung Dr. Green off of his sword and out the window.
"Ow, I just fell out of a four story building! Why the hell did you throw me out!? It didn't kill me, but I badly hurt-" Dr. Green called from outside, but was cut off when he was run over by a passing by car. "Ow, I was run over by a car! I've been burned on the inside, ran through, every bone in my body broken, and now just got my head ran over by a car! I'm still not dead, but I'm just badly hurt."
Evil Trainer tC just rolled his eyes. "Master Tonberry get away!" Dr. Green called from outside. "Ow, you just poked me with that little knife of yours!"
Evil Trainer tC listened for more screaming but heard none.
"Ok, comrades," evil Trainer tC sneering while holding Rapier Wit. "Dis is vhere ve rumble."
* * *
Meanwhile oustide, Master Tonberry was strolling by after dispatching his latest victom. Master Tonberry waddled on and bumped into the Enterprise-F, and prodded the machine with his knife. The Enterprise-F was reduced to a pile of splinters with Cid VI laying on top of it. Master Tonberry walked around the smoldering remains of the Enterprise-F. Suddenly Agent Aya pulled herself out of a sewer drain, and saw Master Tonberry.
"Take this, Master Tonberry," Agent Aya cried as she peppered the Pokémon with rockets from the Liberator. When the smoke cleared Master Tonberry had waddled all the way to Agent Aya, and poked her with his dull little knife.
* * *
"That's disgusting," Blues-007 commented as he looked out the window.
"You'll never win Evil Trainer tC!" Agent Benit called at evil Trainer tC.
"Yes, I will," evil Trainer tC taunted, "Because I'm challenging all of you Pokémon Trainers to a match!"
"They don't have to accept you know....." Agent Benit reminded him.
"I accept!" Solid Ekans and Trainer Phantom Ghost immediately replied while Agent Benit slapped herself on the forehead.
"asd;gkjasd;gasdgkja! I choose you!" Trainer tC called to the Pokémon and out burst asd;gkjasd;gasdgkja, the Evil Typo Pokémon.
"Bob, I choose you!" Solid Ekans called to his Pokémon.
"Gengar I choose you!" Trainer Phantom Ghost and the Gengar Pokémon burst from his Pokeball. "Gengar! Hypnosis!" Gengar hypnotized asd;gkjasd;gasdgkja in response.
"Bob! Thundershock!" Solid Ekans commanded.
"Pika....Pika-CHU!" Bob replied as he blasted asd;gkjasd;gasdgkja with a strong thunderbolt.
"Mister Chupon! I choose you!" evil Trainer tC called forth another Pokémon from another Pokéball.
"Aerodactyl! I choose you!" Trainer Phantom Ghost called on another Pokémon. "Aerodactyl! Hyperbeam!"
"Aerodactyl!" Aerodactyl replied and blasted Mister Chupon while Bob peppered Mister Chupon with thunderbolts.
"Mister Chupon! Sneeze attack!" evil Trainer tC commanded.
"Mister....CHUPON!" Mister Chupon replied and sneezed blowing away Aerodactyl and Bob, but Gengar was not effected since he was ethereal.
"I vin...." evil Trainer tC sneered.
"But I still have a Pokémon that's undamaged," Trainer Phantom Ghost complained, "And many more where that came from."
"I still have five more," Solid Ekans complained.
"asd;gkjasd;gasdgkja typo attack!" evil Trainer tC commanded.
"asd;gkjasd;gasdgkja!" the evil typo Pokémon replied and changed Solid Ekans into Sold Ekans. Two shopkeepers came up from behind Sold Ekans, tossed down some gil, and dragged him away.
"Hey! He's not a Pokémon!" Trainer Phantom Ghost cried, "That's against the rules!" Evil Trainer tC knocked Trainer Phantom Ghost out with the blunt edge of Rapier Wit.
"Hey! That certainly was against the rules!" Locke called as he charged evil Trainer tC with Excalibur.
"asd;gkjasd;gasdgkja! Typo attack!" evil Trainer tC commanded.
"asd;gkjasd;g!" the evil Typo Pokeman replied and turned Locke into Locked. Suddenly a straight jacket and chains engulfed the hapless thief and confined him.
Blues-007, the JBI, Agent Benit, and Agent NC81 charged evil Trainer tC with their weapons. Evil Trainer tC simply swatted away their weapons, and knocked them unconsious like he did Trainer Phantom Ghost.
"Gengar!" Gengar yelled and tried to attack evil Trainer tC, but couldn't hurt him since he's ethereal.
"Hey, you forgot me," Agent Erdrick sighed and evil Trainer tC glanced at him, "But that could be a good thing." Evil Trainer tC charged Agent Erdrick with Rapier Wit, but Agent Erdrick ducked at the last minute, sliced a small cut open on evil Trainer tC's arm, and proceeded to squirt lemon juice in it.
"Ow! You sprayed lemon juice in my cut!" evil Trainer tC cried out in pain,"Mister Chupon! Sneeze attack!" With Agent Erdrick blown away and the rest of the Agents incompassidated, there was nothing left protecting good Trainer tC from him.
"Vell if it isn't my crappy half," evil Trainer tC sneered.
"Ah!" good Trainer tC cried as evil Trainer tC chased him around the room.
"You can run..." evil Trainer tC started, "but you can't run forever. There is no one who can save you now!" Suddenly a whooshing noise hit evil Trainer tC's ears, and he noticed a large object coming down towards him through the skylight."
"To protect the world from decaffination," a feminine voice called from above.
"To unite all the pilots within our nation," a male voice growled. Evil Trainer tC's jaws dropped.
"To denounce the evil of Nintendo's Glover," the female voice said.
"To launch the Shinra-26 to the stars above," the male voice finished.
"Shera."
"Cid."
"Team Rocket Town blast off at the speed of light!" Shera said as the hot air balloon containing Cait Sith, Cid, and her crashed through the skylight and landed in the middle of the office.
"Sit your ass down and drink your goddamn tea!" Cid growled.
"Meow, that's right!" Cait Sith broke in.
"Cid!" Shera said unhappily, "you ruined the last part."
"Shut your cake hole!" the pilot replied.
Panic striken, evil Trainer tC soiled himself at the sight of the spectacle and tried to escape through a BMF portal, but Shera fired a shotgun in the air stopping evil Trainer tC in his tracks. Cid slapped Rapier Wit out of evil Trainer tC's hand and tripped him with Venus Gospel. Shera grabbed the evil half of the Captain by the ear, and dragged him across the floor to a large metal pod.
"This must be the Surplus Transmutation Device from Russia," Shera commented and then slammed evil Trainer tC's head into the side of it, and threw evil Trainer tC inside.
"I thank you kindly for rescuing me," good Trainer tC said. Cid immediately picked up good Trainer tC and threw him into the Transmutation Device. Shera flipped a switch, and after the smoke cleared there stood normal Agent tC.
"Good to have you back, Captain," Cid said, "The site's been crap with that Russian guy."
Everyone else finally regained there consiousness and regrouped.
"Agent tC, you're back!" Agent Benit.
"That's great," Locked replied, "could you answer a few questions for us-"
"No," Agent tC replied, "we have to go save Alys and Gray Fox."
"What about Sold Ekans and Agent Erdrick?" Agent NC81 inquired.
"We'll find them later in the fic," Agent tC replied. "Damn, Master Tonberry destoryed Enterprise-F. We'll have to take Team Rocket Town's hot air balloon to get to St. George's Bookshop in time. Everyone jumped into the now very cramped basket, but as the hot air balloon lifted up, all the Agents burst out of the bottom of it while Cid, Shera, and Cait Sith held on for dear life.
"Looks like Team Rocket Town's blasting off again!" the trio called as a strong breeze carried them away.
"Looks like the FPS Agents are walking," Agent tC grumbled.
* * *
"Um, CAM," Celes said pointing in the opposite direction. "Isn't that the way to the Hostess factory?"
"This way is faster," Agent CAM replied while walking in the opposite direction. "Are you gonna go my way?"
"Um, ok," Celes replied and followed Agent CAM into the Shanghai Inn. A man got up from the bar in the Shanghai Inn and headed towards the bathroom. He reached for the doorknob of the bathroom, and turned it.
"Urrgghh, someone's in here!" a voice from inside the bathroom called. Frustrated, the man ran out the of the Inn in search of another bathroom. Agent CAM walked up to the door, and turned the door knob.
"Urgghh, someone's in here!" a voice called from inside.
"CAM," Celes suggested, "There's probably another bathroom somewhere in Rocket Town-"
"Wait," Agent CAM interuppted, "Watch this." Agent CAM flipped open the door knob to reveal a small keypad. Agent CAM punched in some numbers in the keypad, the bathroom door slid open, and Agent CAM and Celes stepped in as the door slid back into place. Celes immediately noticed this place looked a lot like.....a bathroom, except for the fact that there was a tape recorder wired up to the keypad. Agent CAM flushed the toilet, the room began to vibrate, and an elavator music version of "Are you gonna go my way?" started to play. The room then stopped moving, and Agent CAM and Celes stepped through.
On the other side of the door was a underground laboratory/secret agent type hideout thing.
"Welcome to A-Team's HQ!" Agent CAM exclaimed.
"Uh huh," Celes nodded, "And I always thought you guys operated out of Mr.T's GMC 1982 Custom Van."
"No," Agent CAM replied. "We've always operated in these Underground Headquarters right under the Shanghai Inn. Making that bathroom our elevator was the most brilliant idea."
"This is heavy...." Celes murmered.
Suddenly an old man approached Agent CAM.
"Q?" Agent CAM said. "What brings you here?"
"I have some new toys for you Agent CAM," Q replied. "Like this Cid Action Figure. For some reason it was just discovered in the treaty that ended the war with Japan in WWII, that Squaresoft had to make a Cid Action Figure and send it to you."
"Cool," Agent CAM said accepting the Cid Action figure.
"Um, this seems quiet odd since you weren't even born at the time and FF didn't exsist at the time," Q said. "Agent CAM? Have you been messing with the original copies of war treatys again? Last time you did this you added a clause to the Treaty of Paris that Britain had to execute the Spice Girls......"
"Of course not," Agent CAM said, "I learned my lesson the last time."
"Uh huh," Q replied. "We've also been able to secure a signed copy of Lenny Kravitz's Are You Gonna Go My Way?, and got your Re-Released copy of 5 signed as well."
"Sweeeettt...." Agent CAM replied, "Oh, Q ,what does this watch you gave me do again?"
"It tells time," Q replied.
"Oh," Agent CAM said. "Is that all?"
"It also lights up when you push this button," Q said pointing to a small button on the side of Agent CAM's watch.
"Cool," Agent CAM replied rapidly turning the watch's light on and off. "Well, Q, you need to start up the BMF Portal Device you've been working on to teleport us to the Hostess Building."
"Ok," Q said, and then lead Agent CAM and Celes to a small laboratory.
"Are there any risks to this?" Celes questioned.
"Well, there is the slight chance that we get stranded in the land of BFM," Agent CAM.
"Um, that's a really bad thing, CAM......" Celes said.
"I sure hope Mr.T stops that train in time," Agent CAM said ignoring Celes.
* * *
"I pity the foo' who trys to destroy the Youth Centers!" Mr.T exclaimed as he drove his van at helluva fast speed towards the train heading straight for North Corel. "Ok, here's the plan, mute man. I grab the train, and then you blow it up."
"Couldn't you elaborate a little bit on that," Agent1469 signed.
"Don't get that hand jibber jabba around me!" Mr.T exclaimed. Agent1469 just sighed. Mr.T parked his car, and everyone jumped out. Then Mr.T jumped in front of the speedy train, and grabbed it with all of his might.
"I can't hold on to this train forever," Mr.T said, "I think I can hold it for about ten minutes. So you better get you ass in gear!"
Why is it always ten minutes!? Agent1469 thought as he jumped on to the train. Agent1469 was immediately intercepted by 2 generic mechanical mothmen. Agent1469 immediately dispathed the two generic villainhenchman with his shotgun. Agent1469 was rushed by five more of these creatures from behind. He simply loaded his shotgun and blew them away as well. By the time he was finished fighting the damn Mothmen, his ten minutes were up.
"Can't hold on to this train much longer," Mr.T said. "Ah, hell wit it." Mr.T lifted the train above his head, and tossed it.
"There, that's that," Mr.T said, "oh wait, I forgot that Agent1469 was still on that train."
* * *
Back at St. George's Bookshop, Agent Artemis was staring intently at the sample in the mircoscope in front of him, Grace tried to watch over Agent Artemis' shoulder, and the rest of the resident FPS2 Agents all sat around the glowing light of the TV.
"Find anything?" Grace inquired.
"Nope," Agent Artemis said solemnly, "I don't think we'll find our answers in this Yuffie-clone blood sample."
"Hmm," Grace replied, "It's been an hour, neither Agent CAM or Agent Benit have returned."
"I know, I'm getting worried," Agent Artemis said, and dialed Agent CAM's PHS number into the Bookshop's phone. She only recieved static. "Someone has cut off the phoneline."
"Gabe mustn't have paid it this month," Grace stated.
"What!?" Gabriel Knight replied, "I made sure I paid it this month."
"This is worrysome," Agent Axer said. "Do you think the Jenova Witnesses will find out where we are?"
"How could they figure that out?" Agent Artemis said. "Unless there was a spy...."
"A spy!?" Agent Neener exclaimed diverting her stare from the TV.
"We can't worry about that right now," Agent Artemis said. "We'll have wait for everyone to get back before we can really investigate that. Right now, we need to come up with what the other ingredient to the Cure of Fox Die might be."
"But the only Agent tC knows it," Grace replied.
"Hmmm," Agent Artemis said in deep thought, "I know, but common Psychology says that the average villian who knows a huge secret will blurt it out uncontrollably in a mysterious fashion."
"Well has evil Trainer tC said anything like that?" Grace said.
"I think there just might have been something," Agent Artemis replied, "but I can't exactly put my finger on it....."
"Rosebud......." a man on the TV said.
"What?" Agent Artemis inquired.
"Rosebud....." the man repeated still not visibly seen on the TV. "Rosebud Sweet Peas." The man turned out to be Palmer doing another food commercial. "Rosebud Sweet Peas, their full of green peanis goodness. Waitaminute! That's just awful!" Palmer walked off screen, and then back on again. "Just a few for the road," Palmer said grabbing a handful of Rosebud Sweet Peas and then leaving. "Oh yes!" Palmer said offscreen, "there's a French-Fry stuck in my tie!" The commercial ended, and resumed with a music video of Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way?"
"That's it!" Agent Artemis said as a lit lightbulb appeared over her head. "Where on Earth did that thing come from?"
"I know. I can't get that song out of my head all day," Grace replied and sang, "Are you gonna go my way?"
"No, I mean the commercial-" Agent Artemis said.
"Yeah," Agent Axer said, "I think Palmer has put on a few pounds."
"No, not Palmer," Agent Artemis said. "Rosebud! That's what evil Trainer tC has been babbling about in a mysterious matter, and that's the second ingredient!"
"Rosebuds..." Grace replied, "There are some on the rosebush outside."
"We have a rose bush!?" Gabriel exclaimed quite surprised.
"Yes Gabe......." Grace replied rolling her eyes.
"All we need now are some Twinkies," Agent Artemis stated.
* * *
We find Team Rocket Town sailing through the sky in their hot air balloon with the bottom busted out, hanging on for dear life. Suddenly, a train flew past them, and exploded above them.
"What the @#$%!" Cid exclaimed, and was hit by a falling Agent1469. The two were knocked off of the Hot Air Balloon, and plummeted towards the Planet.
"That's got to hurt," Cait Sith replied.
* * *
Meanwhile at the Hostess Factory, a cheesy BFM portal whirled open in the middle of the main office hurling out Agent CAM and Celes.
"Oh, hi, CAM," the recenptionist chimed, "So what brings you here today?"
"I need some twinkies to save a few of my friends inflicted with a fatal disease that can only be cured by twinkes and some other ingredient unknown to us except by the evil half of the Captain," Agent CAM started, "then once my friends are saved and the two halves of the Captain restored, we can prevent world domination by the Jenova Witnesses lead by the Mysterious Anonymous Five Villains."
"That's nice," the receptionist replied, "I assume you know where the Twinkie Vault is and the combination."
"Sure do," Agent CAM said and headed straight for the vault. He quickly cracked the case, and pulled out an armload of Twinkies. He then somehow managed to cram all of the Twinkies into his pocket.
"Ok, we've got our Twinkies now," Agent CAM said as he munched on one himself.
"Well, we gotta get back to St. George's Bookshop before you eat them all," Celes said.
"I'll call Mr.T," Agent CAM said pulling out his PHS, "cuz his van is fast foo'!" Agent CAM dialed up Mr.T's PHS number, "Hey Mr.T, we're at the Hostess Factory. Could you drive by and pick us up?"
Suddenly, the Delorean from Back to the Future crashed through the wall containing Marle, Crono, Frog, and Magus. Marle fired her crossbow, and blasted Agent CAM's PHS right out of his hand.
"This is where we rumble," Crono sneered.
Suddenly a mysterious GMC 1982 Custom Van plowed through the wall squashing the cast of CT and their new time machine.
"Are you gonna go my way?" Mr.T asked Agent CAM and Celes.
"I can't get that song out my head recently," Agent CAM said and pulled out his autographed copy of Are You Gonna Go My Way , "but that isn't always a bad thing."
* * *
Meanwhile, somewhere in the Algo Star System, Vampire Hunter D had landed the Big Whale on the planted of Dezolais just outside of the Esper Mansion.
VHD strode through the hurricane winds to the front door.
"We don't allow strangers in this place," one of the guards said.
D unsheathed his masamune sized katana, and the guards stepped out of his way. The vampeel plowed his way through the Esper Mansion. He finally made his way to another pair of guards.
"You don't have clearance here," one of the guards said.
D sheathed his sword, picked up the guards, and threw them out of his way.
The vampire hunter walked into the inner sanction, and then walked out cluthing a another sword in his hands, Elcideon. VHD walked back to the Big Whale, and headed back towards Earth.
* * *
Grace walked into the store with a handlful of rose buds in her hand.
"Here," she said as she dumped them on the counter.
"Now how will we get them ready?" Agent Artemis. "Obviously it's going to have to be injected through a syringe."
"I know!" Gabriel said and ran into the back room and returned with a blender.
"I'm not sure about that....." Grace said. Ignoring her, Gabriel grabbed the rosebuds, jammed them into the blender, and hit "liquidate."
"Well, what do you know," Agent Artemis said, "It worked. But we still need the Twinkies."
Suddenly the shrill sound of breaking glass hit Agent Artemis' ears. Everyone turned their heads, and saw the front window smashed and Master Tonberry standing in the middle of the room.
"Ahh! It's Master Tonberry!" Agent Axer screamed and dived behind the counter.
"My hero....." Grace murmered.
"I'll take care of this," Gabriel Knight annouced drawing the Ritter Dagger and Ritter Family Talisman. Gabe presented the Ritter Family Talisman in a threatening manner towards Master Tonberry. The small Pokémon just glared at him, and Gabe was blasted across St. George's Bookshop.
"That thing is pure evil," Gabriel stated.
"I'm blasting that SOB with everything I got," Jimi said grabbing his '64 Stratocaster. Jimi sneered and started strumming on the Stratocaster.
"Purple Haze!"
Purple haze engulfed Master Tonberry, but his vision was unaffected.
"Manic Depression!"
Master Tonberry was unaffected by the Sadness spell.
"Love or Confusion!"
Hearts swirled around Master Tonberry, but the confusion didn't take effect.
"I don't live today!"
A massive skull hovered over Master Tonberry's head, but Death Sentace didn't take effect.
"The Wind Cries Mary!"
The healing winds swirled around GK healing the bump on his head from his encounter with Master Tonberry.
"Fire!"
A whirling cone of fire blasted Master Tonberry scorching everything in its way.
"Third Rock from the Sun!"
A meteor plowed through the roof of the St. George's Bookshop, and battered Master Tonberry.
"Foxey Lady!"
Foxey Lady appeared over head, and everyone gained a 100% hit ratio.
"Are you experienced!"
Everyone's level increased to 50.
"Voodoo Chile!"
Smoke puffed around Master Tonberry, but that had no effect as well.
"Damn," Jimi muttered, "he's a boss. Most of the stuff I used didn't affect him."
"Well, you accomplished destroying my store," Gabriel murmered.
"It was destroyed to begin with," Grace replied.
"Why don't we do what he did last time and run!" Agent Axer called from under the counter.
"No," Agent Artemis said, "I don't like the fact we'd be leaving Alys and Gray Fox here with that thing. If Jimi can keep up with the attacks we'll be fine."
"We'll, I can't keep it up much longer," Jimi said, "since Gray's in his current condition he doesn't have that much MP."
Jimi noticed that Master Tonberry had gotten up again.
"Fire!"
The Pokémon was blasted on to its back again by the torrents of fire.
"Well, I'm out of that," Jimi said as the Master Tonberry stuggled to turn itself over.
Master Tonberry pulled himself up, and started waddling towards the group again.
"On top of spaghetti!," Agent Neener sang, "all covered with cheeseeeeeeee!"
The Master Tonberry Pokémon was bewildered by the song, wandered into a bookshelf, and the bookshelf fell on him.
"My poor bookshop....." Gabe moaned.
"Oh, its not like you had any customers anyway," Grace replied.
After thirty minutes of waiting in the other end of the store, Master Tonberry had crawled his way from under the pile of "rare" books. Suddenly Mr.T's GMC 1982 Custom Van plowed through the wall, and Agent CAM dropped from out of the driver's side.
"Last time I let you drive my van foo'," Mr.T stated.
"Ahh! It's Master Tonberry!" Agent CAM screamed and dived behind the counter.
"I thought those things were called Pugs," Celes said.
"That's was only in FF6," Agent Artemis said, "we're using the FF7 ref."
"Oh."
"Mr.T, can't you toss that thing?" Gabriel suggested.
"Um, I ain't touchin' that thing!" Mr.T exclaimed.
"Never before had fear come in such a small package," Grace said.
"Well, let's make that cure," Agent Axer suggested, "and get the spoony out of here!"
"Ok, ok," Agent Artemis said. "Did you get the twinkies?"
"Yeah," Agent CAM said as he handed Agent Artemis a twinkie.
"We had to let him drive in order to keep him from eating all the twinkies," Celes said.
Agent Artemis tossed the Twinkie into the rosebud mixture, and hit "liquidate".
Suddenly the Big Whale demolished the rest of the front of the Bookshop and landed on Master Tonberry, the door opened up and Vampire Hunter D stepped out.
"Is the cure ready?" the vampeel inquired.
"Um, yeah," Agent Artemis replied.
Agent Artemis filled two syringes with the mixture, and injected Agent Gray Fox with one and Alys with the other.
Agent Gray Fox sprang back to life as if nothing had happened, but Alys still layed there motionless.
"We're too late....." Agent Artemis said sullenly.
D kneeled down, and clasped Alys hands around the handle of Elcideon.
********dream sequence....add wavy screen here*********
"Dr. Green, why are you reviving this specimen when you could just revive the Ultimate?" a voice said from the darkness. "You already had one sucessful revival."
"Because the last one wasn't really dead anyway," another voice called from the darkness. "This one is truly died. Died from a shot of the black wave, nothing can heal that, so it will be a good challenge for me. What is that you have there Little Johnny?"
"A ho-ho," a meager voice replied.
"Now what did I tell you about ho-ho's?" one of the voices said.
"I don't wanna say it."
"Little Johnny...."
"I don't wanna say it."
"Little Johnny."
"I don't wanna say it."
"Little Johnny!"
"He reminds you of Santa."
"And what is Santa an anagram of?"
"Satan."
"And who is Satan?"
"He's the devil!"
"That's right Little Johnny."
"Stop bickering amongst yourselves!" the other voice called, "and get on with the reanimation process!" A button clicked.
Alys awoke inside of a tube filled with surge, an IV filled pouring a mixture of Yuffie-cells and Ultimate Tea into her blood, and an line shoved up her nose providing oxygen. Staring in at her was Dr. Green, Villain#5, and Little Johnny.
"What's the meaning of this!" Alys yelled at them. "Megid!"
Alys blasted the tube with so much anger in the form of fire, that the surge evaporated, but the tubing stood in place.
"Hmmm," Dr. Green said. "It looks like my design is unbreakable."
"Ok," Villain #5 said. " I've invited a guest over tonight, that I'd like you to test the Surplus Transmutation device that was sent in from Russia."
"What if it doesn't work?" Dr. Green said.
"Then I hope that the wrong effects include a slow painful death," Villain #5 said, "Agent tC will dispise the day he humilated me!" Villain#5 walked out of the room.
"My Eve...." Dr. Green said talking to the specimen inside of another tube. "Soon you can be free and we can live a life full of happiness....AND WORLD DOMINATION! Once the Ultimate Evil is reanimated we can take over the Pentagon, and take over the world! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Meanwhile, outside of the door of the Tower of Bab-il stood Agent tC clutching a flyer in hand saying that there was going to be an auction of Cid Highwind Merchandise here tonight. Agent tC pushed the doorbell, and the "I hope you die" mat slid from under Agent tC. He fell into a generic villain trapdoor. Agent tC wound up in the laboratory of Dr. Green. Agent tC looked around him and saw Alys in one of the glass tubes.
"What in Canada?" Agent tC asked himself. "That's inhumane, almost Hojolike. Don't worry, I'll release you!" Agent tC ran over to the control panel and looked at all the buttons.
"Hmm, which button?" Agent tC pondered, "I know! I'll just smash the thing!" Agent tC brought up his hockey stick, Pucker Up, and brought it down on to the control panel. Both tubes slid open, and Alys and Eve escaped out of a window.
"Maybe I should escape now-" Agent tC started.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Dr. Green yelled as he ran out of the bathroom pulling up his pants, "my life's work....YOU'VE RUINED IT! I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
"Is that a challenge?" Agent tC inquired.
"Um, yes," Dr. Green said repositioning himself, "it is." Agent tC lunged at Dr. Green, but Dr. Green stepped aside and Agent tC flew into the Surplus Russian Transmutation Device.
Dr. Green flipped the switch......
*********end dream sequence********
Alys woke up in St. George's Bookshop.
"You're alive...." D murmered.
"Sure am," Alys said, "and I realized that I'm not a Yuffie-clone as in being artifically created in a lab with Yuffie-cells. It just turns out I was injected with them when I was brought back to life. Its kinda like when Cloud was told he was a Sephiroth-clone, but it just turned out he was injected with Jenova cells."
"Boy," Agent CAM said sarcasitcally, "that sure clears that up."
The sound of shuffling feet startled everyone and they turned around, and everyone saw Master Tonberry standing in the doorway of Gabriel's studio.
"Ah! It's Master Tonberry!" Agent Axer cried and tried to dive under the bed, but he realized all the bed was was a mattress on the floor.
"Master Tonberry return!" Agent tC commanded, walking into the the room with Agent1469, Locked, Agent Benit, Agent NC81, Blues-007, Cid IV and the JBI, while holding a Pokeball forcefully. Master Tonberry shook his head no. Agent tC smacked the rebellious Pokemon in the back of the head with his hockey stick. Master Tonberry started to cry, and hopped right back into the Pokeball. Everyone's jaw dropped in disbelief.
"You just have to show them who's boss," Agent tC smirked, "now let's go take out those Villains!"
"But we aren't exactly in fighting condition yet," Locked replied, "we still have some serious typos on us, and are missing some people."
"Typos," Agent Gray Fox said, "no prob. Spellcheck!" Locked reverted back to Locke, Cold Chocobo turned back into Gold Chocobo, and Sold Ekans turned back into Solid Ekans. Solid Ekans reappeared in a puff of smoke.
"What about Erdrick and Aerodatcyl?" Locke inquired. A gust of wind picked up and threw Agent Erdrick and Aerodatcyl. "Ok, well what about that force field around the Tower of Bab-il?"
"Once we kill Zio it'll go away," Alys said.
"Oh."
"Well, then...." Agent tC said, "those villains have got hell to pay!"
"Yeah!" everyone agreed.
"Count us out," Gabriel said, "All you guys accomplished was destroying my store!"
"Fine...let's go."
All of the Agents poured into the Big Whale, and blasted off without Agent tC.
"Not this again....." Agent tC murmered, walked outside, and started thumbing for a ride. A limo pulled up, and the person in the back asked, "Are you gonna go my way?"
* * *
In the secret laboratory of Zio five miles north of Rocket Town, Zio peered into a tube full of fluid containing the Ultimate Evil. He injected a hearty mixture of Ultimate Tea, Citra, and Yuffie-cells into the Ultimate Evil. Zio pushed a button on the bottom of the tube, the tube started to shake up and down. The citra inside of the Ultimate Evil's bloodstream began to bubble and become violitaled. With this sudden surge of energy, the Ultimate Evil's evil heart started to pound and the creature opened its eyes.
"Like, get me out of here," the Yuffie/Dark Wizard/Dragon/Glover creature moaned, "I have rights."
"Excellent," Zio said forming a "church" with his hands, "It is as annoying as ever."
"Let me out of here," the Ultimate Evil demanded, then formed a fist with her glover hand, and broke the glass of the tube.
"Incredible," Zio said,"that glass is supposedly unbreakable."
"Like I'm going to kill you," the Ultimate Evil stated.
"Maybe...." Zio started, "You'd rather like to get revenge on the FPS Agents......"
"Yes, like, I would," the Ultimate Evil said, "How?"
"Go with the shipment of fresh Yuffie-clones to the Tower of Bab-il," Zio said. "The Mysterious Anonymous Five Villains will tell you the rest." The Ultimate Evil nodded.
"Well, then it's agreed," Zio sneered.
* * *
"This sucks....." a green colored Alys murmered and then ran into the bathroom to barf. Agent CAM ran up to the bathroom, finding it occupied, and ran to the nearest window to throw-up. Mr.T found another window to use.
"Woah," Agent Gray Fox said, "I didn't know we had this many Agents that had motion sickness."
"Hey," Agent Neener said,"Where is Agent tC?"
"We probably left him again," Agent Axer said, "that sure does happen a lot."
"Oh," Solid Ekans said.
"Pika pi," Bob replied.
* * *
Zio guided the new Yuffie-clones, and the Ultimate Evil towards the airport to board the plane to the Tower of Bab-il. Suddenly, the Big Whale swooped over the airport and started peppering the air field with missles. The plane's engines roared to life, and the plane leapt into the air and sped off. Zio destroyed the missles in mid-air with Corrosion spells. Locke brought down the Big Whale on the airfield, and all of the FPS Agents burst out from inside.
"Well, well...." Zio smirked holding a black Pokeball in his hands. "How 'bout a match? My one Pokémon vs. all of you Trainers' Pokémon."
"Ok!" all of the groups Trainers agreed.
"I kinda wish we didn't leave Agent tC behind......" Agent Axer murmered.
"Bahamut, go!" Agent1469 signed as Bahamut burst out of his Pokéball.
"Pikachu-chu! Go!" Agent Axer calling Pikachu-chu from his Pokéball.
"Bob! I choose you!" Solid Ekans called to his Pikachu.
"Dead Farret, go!" Hart and Domino said as a dead farret came out of the Pokéball.
"Yuffraptor, go!" Trainer Phantom Ghost said as Yuffraptor burst from the Pokéball.
"I used to have a Pokemon," Agent CAM moaned,"Where did it go?"
"Chu?" Bob inquired.
"You look familiar."
"Profound Darkness...." Zio started holding his black Pokeball high, "....go......."
The black Pokéball flipped open, and Profound Darkness creeped out.
"What is that thing, Dexter?" Agent Axer said punching a few buttons in the PokéDatabase.
"Profound Darkness form two," Dexter replied. "A type evil Pokémon evolved from a Profound Darkness form one which evolved from a DarkForce Pokémon. Profound Darkness evolved very easily, usually after a defeat."
"Oh boy," Agent Axer said, "I really wish that we didn't leave Agent tC behind."
"You guys get first shot...." Zio sneered.
"[Bahamut, Mega Flare!]"
"Baha.....MUT!"
"Pikachu-chu! Thundershock!"
"Pika....chu....CHU!"
"Bob! Thundershock!"
"Pika...PIKACHU!"
"Dead Ferret! Just believe!"
"Shut up you!"
"Yuffraptor....MAUL!"
"Like, Yuffraptor and stuff."
A barrage of lightning bolts, flares, and claws battered Profound Darkness. The evil Pokémon stepped back, obviously hurt, but not seriously.
"Profound Darkness," Zio commanded, "Megid!"
"Anger....rage....darkness...." Profound Darkness replied and release all of its rage in the form of fire. All of the Pokemon were hit, and thrown against the wall seriously hurt.
All of the FPS2 Agent Trainers' jaws dropped.
"Magikarp," Solid Ekans muttered, "Chocobert, go, and Choco-Cure! Bob, Albobserchange. Albobser, Al-Thunder!"
"Gold chocobo! Go! Choco-meteor!" Agent Axer commanded, "Pikachu-chu! Pikaliberate!
"Bahamut! Mega Flare!" Agent1460 signed.
"Dead ferret return!" Agent Domino commanded.
"We have to get him to a Pokécenter," Agent Hart said, "and fast!"
"Yuffraptor! Maul 'em some more!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded, "Aerodactyl, go! Hyper beam!"
"Chocobert!" Chocobert replied and sparkles fell on the other Pokémon (except Profound Darkness) healing them minorly.
"Pika pi....." Bob replied and then Albobser appeared in a flash of light.
"Albobser!" the Pokémon of Justice replied and blasted Profound Darkness with thundershocks of justice.
"Bahamut!" Bahamut replied blasting the evil Pokemon with pure energy.
"Yuffraptor," the Yuffie type Pokemon replied and clawed up Profound Darkness.
"Aerodactyl!" Aerodactyl replied and blasted Profound Darkness with a hyper beam.
"Pika....CHU....CHU!" Pikachu-chu replied and tranformed into the angelic liberation form and began to batter Profound Darkness with a thousand cans of Whoop Ass.
"Gold Chocobo!" Gold Chocobo beamed, and did a little jig bringing down a Choco-meteor on to Profound Darkness.
"Profound Darknes...." Profound Darkness muttered and fell the ground from overwhelming powerful Pokémon attacks. Profound Darkness pulled itself back up, and evolved into Profound Darkness form three.
"Profound Darkness, Fallen Angel!" Zio commanded with a smirk.
"Profound Darkness!" A Fallen Angel hovered above the good Pokemon and waved its wand at them, reducing their HP to 1.
"Magikarp!" Solid Ekans cursed.
"This is bad," Agent Axer stated.
"Our trainers are getting whooped!" Agent CAM so generously pointed out.
"I can see that," Agent Gray Fox replied.
"We have to do something!" Agent Benit exclaimed.
"We'll just distract Zio," Locke said, "He can't command a Pokémon and fight us at the same time."
"Yeah, but that foo' has a force field around him," Mr.T stated.
"That won't be a problem," Alys said holding Elcideon.
Alys brought down Elcideon on to Zio, and in a flash of light Zio's force field was vaporized.
"My force-field....." Zio muttered, "I guess I have no choice, but to lay the smack down on your candy asses..........Corrosion!"
A wave of fire washed over the FPS2 Agents, and knocked them to the ground.
"Ouchies!" Agent CAM cried out.
Agent CAM lashed his whip at Zio, but Zio dodged the whip. Agent Gray Fox peppered Zio with arrows from Cosmic Fire, but Zio glided sideways across the floor avoiding the onslaught. Agent Benit ran at Zio holding Saturn Rhapsody, but Zio ducked the swinging glaive. Locke swung Excaliber around at Zio, but the quick speed of Zio was too much for the poor "Treasure Hunter." Zio spun around once again to dodge the blade of Blues-007's Spectre. Zio ducked as Agent Artemis lunged at him with Dragon's Teeth, causing her to miss. Zio was forced to quickly leap aside to avoid the point of D's sword coming down on him. Zio jumped to dodge a swinging Illumina. Mr.T ran at Zio, but Zio blasted Mr.T off of the buidling with the Black Wave.
"Mr.T!" Agent CAM called.
"I'm alright foo'," Mr.T replied, "my gold chains absorbed the black wave, and there better not be any broken Ziosucka!"
"Corrosion!" The group of FPS2 Agents were once again battered by waves of fire.
"The Wind Cries Mary!" Jimi sang while strumming in '64 Fender Stratocaster. The group's wounds were healed. "Third Rock from the Sun!" A barrage of Meteors streaked through the sky, and slammed into Zio. This attack momentarily stunned Zio so that more attacks would get through.
Red haze surrounded Alys momentarily, "Lethal Image!"
Four ethereal Alyses appeared were there was once one, and they all tossed a Moonslasher aimed quite well. All of Zio's limbs were severed by the attack.
"Had enough?" Alys sneered.
"No!" Zio stated, "It's only a flesh wound! I'll chew your kneecaps off!" Alys punted Zio off of the top of the airstrip.
"That felt really good," Alys stated.
"Profound Darkness!!!!!!!! MEGID!!!!!" Zio called as he fell to his doom.
"Great job distracting him," Agent Axer said sarcastically.
"Well we just might as well hope that we can kill it in one last onslaught," Solid Ekans said.
"The likelihood of that?" Agent1496 signed.
"Not very bloodly likely," Trainer Phantom Ghost shrugged, "but we might as well anyway."
"Pikachu-chu, Pikaliberate! Gold Chocobo, Choco-meteor!"
"Albobser, Al-Thundershock! Chocobert, Choco-attack!"
"[Bahamut, Mega Flare!]"
"Yuffraptor, maul! Aerodactyl, Hyperbeam!"
After a call from all of the Pokémon, the team unleashed another assualt battering Profound Darkness with a barrage of thunder, cans of Whoop Ass, claws, beaks, energy, and meteors. Profound Darkness was unmoved.
"Anger...hate....darkness...." Profound Darkness replied, "Profound Darkness!" Right as the fire started to stream towards the Pokemon, Alys tossed a Star Dew to them healing them just enough to save them.
"What on the Planet is happening!?" Agent Axer inquired.
"It looks like the attack caused some of our Pokémon to evolve," Solid Ekans said.
Agent Axer pulled out Dexter, his Pokédex to check out their new Pokémon.
"Neo-Bahamut," Dexter indentified, "a dragon/fire type Pokémon evolved from a Bahamut Pokémon. Chocobert, a black chocobo, a flying type Pokemon evolved from a Chocobo Pokémon. Yuffiesaurus Rex, a Yuffie type Pokémon evolved from a Yuffraptor."
"Neo-Bahamut, Giga Flare!" Agent1469 signed.
"Chocobert, Choco-ball!" Solid Ekans commanded.
"Y-Rex! Eat!" Trainer Phantom Ghost commanded.
"Neo-Bahamut!" Neo-Bahamut replied, and blasted Profound Darkness with a Giga Flare.
"Chocobert!" Chocobert replied and nailed Profound Darkness with a Chocoball.
"Yuffiesaurus Rex!" Y-Rex replied, and ate Profound Darkness.
"That certainly was interesting," Trainer Phantom Ghost replied.
The force field around the flying tower of Bab-il began to wane, and then it shattered.
"Look!" Agent Benit called. "The tower of Bab-il! Zio's force field disappeared."
"Come on! Let's go!" Agent Axer suggested. "We've got to stop that plane."
"To the Big Whale!" Locke announced.
"No way!" Mr.T said climbing up the side of the building, "I ain't climbing onto that crazy contraption! I hate flyin'!"
"But if you don't help Mr.T," Agent CAM pleaded, "Yuffie will destroy all of the Youth Centers!"
"Destroy the Youth Centers!" Mr.T replied, "then let's go."
Suddenly a limo pulled up in front of the Big Whale. The back door opened up and Agent tC stepped out. The door shut back, and the limo sped off.
"Bye, Lenny Kravitz!" Agent tC called waving. "Thanks for the lift."
"Anytime Cap'n," Lenny replied sticking his head out the window. "By the way, great site!"
Agent tC turned and saw all of the Agents bruised and beaten.
"Did I miss anything?"
* * *
The plane touched down on the top of the Tower of Bab-il. The Ultimate Evil stepped out as did the new Yuffie-clones. The plane lifted off again, and sped off.
The Ultimate Evil looked up into the sky, and saw the Big Whale.
"Like you clones go tell the villains whats happenin'," the Utlimate Evil suggested and the Yuffie-clones ran downstairs to warn their masters.
The Big Whale landed on the top of the tower. The doors slid open, and the FPS2 Agents poured out.
"I shall finish where I left off," the Ultimate Evil announced, "and I shall destroy you pesky Agents!"
"Bring it on!" Agent tC threatened.
"Like, ok," the Ultimate Evil said and breathed a roaring fireball, but fortunately Captain ducked at the last minute. The fireball struck the side of the Big Whale, giving Cid IV a reason to be pulled out.
"Master Tonberry, g-" Agent tC started pulling out a Pokeball.
"Pokéjammer!" the Ultimate Evil interupted.
"Hey all of our Pokéballs are jammed shut!" Solid Ekans pointed out, "and our active Pokemon are being held in a stasis field!"
"That pisses me off," Agent tC said as a read haze swirled around him. "Rocket Town!"
A gigantic pile of mail screeched towards the Ultimate Evil, who merely caught it with her Glover hand , and tossed it back. Agent tC, Agent CAM, Celes, Agent tC, and Agent Erdrick were buried by the pile of mail. Agent NC81 wrapped her wallet chain around her fist and ran at the Ultimate Evil, but tripped on her shoelaces.
"Ack!" she screamed, "I think I broke my ankle!"
Blues-007 ran at the Ultimate Evil with Spectre raised high, but the Ultimate Evil merely smacked him off of the Tower of Bab-il with her Glover hand. Mr.T ran at the Ultimate Evil with intentions of tossing her, but was smacked off the tower as well. Fortunately the man with the gold chains was able to grab the ledge and scramble back on top. Agent Gray Fox raised Cosmic Fire up, and fired a barrage of arrows at the Ultimate Evil. The Yuffie/Dark Wizard/Dragon/Glover creature merely blocked the shots with its Glover hand. Locke and Agent Benit's attacks were twarted just the same.
"Fire!" Jimi strummed on his Stratocaster, but the torrents of fire were absorbed by the Glover hand of the Ultimate Evil.
"I want to get away," Agent Neener sang, "I wanna fly away!" Agent Neener's singing through the Ultimate Evil off guard, sending it into a confusion flailing its arms about.
"Try that now Jimi!" Agent Gray Fox suggested.
"Fire!" This time the torrents of fire stunned the beast by knocking it on its ass. Mr.T saw his opportunity, grabbed the beast by its feet, started to spin her around, and then let go. A successful tossing of the ass, but the Ultimate Evil had wings so that didn't go over so well. The Ultimate Evil started flapping her wings furiously, and began to hover over the group. Suddenly one of her wings began to throb, and then exploded in a spray of Citra. The Ultimate Evil lost control, and slammed into the hard ground below.
"The Citra in its blood...." Agent Artemis stated. "It's causing the beast to explode. Mr.T shook it up to the point of ignition!"
Suddenly a noticable vein of Citra pulsed through the Utlimate Evil's Glover arm, and the exploded into another spray of cola.
"This cannot be....." the Ultimate Evil moaned and then exploded into Citra soaking the entire group.
"The hell!?" Agent CAM said as he crawled his way out of the pile of e-mail with Agent Erdrick, Agent tC, and Celes.
Suddenly the skies went dark as evil clouds of destruction swirled around the top of the Tower of Bab-il. Suddenly, the FPS2 Agents found themselves within a glowing blue pentagram.
"This is scary," Trainer Phantom Ghost said.
A black cloaked covered Villain appeared at a point of the Pentagram according to their number.
"You," Villian #1 said.
"Shall,"Villain #2 said.
"All," Villain #3 said.
"Die," Villain #4 said.
"Painfully," Villain #5 said.
"Before you kill us!" Agent Gray Fox demanded, "Reveal yourselves!"
"Very well," Villian#5 said, "Villains! Unmask!"
Villian #1 brought his hand up to his cloak hood, and revealed himself to be..... Leonardo Dicaprio.
"Dicrapio!" Agent Neener called, "So, we meet again."
Villain #2 brought his hand up to his cloak hood, and revealed himself to be.........Dr. Mayhem.
"Dr. Mayhem!" Agent CAM exclaimed,"You're not a Moth Man!"
"No," Dr. Mayhem replied, "But I am evil. Why else would Agent NC81 be a spy for us?"
Dr. Mayhem brought his pinky finger up to his mouth.
"Agent NC81 is the spy!?" Agent Artemis gasped.
"Yes," Agent NC81, "Didn't you guys notice that I was working with him on the message board?!"
"Actually, I never noticed that," Agent CAM stated.
"Come, Mr. Bigglesworth!" Dr. Mayhem ordered,"You too, Agent NC81!"
Agent NC81 suddenly clocked Agent CAM with her chain wrapped fist, and ran through the crowd. Celes followed bearing Illumina, literally foaming at the mouth. "How dare you, you &@#$%!"
Unfortunately the trio made it to a Cryogenic Freezing Escape Pod, that loading into a Big Boy Rocket, and escaped.
"I was wondering what that thing was up here for," Villain #3 said pulling back his hood being revealed as.........Cloud Strife.
"Cloud Strife!" Agent CAM exclaimed, "Why would he do something like this? He's a hero."
"Um, that's Cloud Strife, the author," Agent Gray Fox reminded Agent CAM. Agent CAM growled in reply.
Villain #4 brought down her hood, and was revealed to be.....Butterfree.
"Butterfree!" Agent Gray Fox exclaimed, "I should have known you'd be used as a villain eventually."
"Now for the Coup de Grace!" Villain #5 said as he tore the hood from his head.
"Stephen Sloan!" Agent tC exclaimed, "So it was you that masterminded all of this!"
"Have you guys noticed that they're total wimps?" Agent Benit pointed out.
"I've got dibs on Dicrapio!" Agent Neener called.
"Cloud!" Agent CAM exclaimed and ran for him.
"Jimi and I will take Butterfree," Agent Gray Fox stated.
"Sloan is mine....." Agent tC murmered.
* * *
"You think you can take me!?" Leonardo Dicaprio called at Agent Neener.
Agent Neener simply pushed Dicrapio off of the Tower of Bab-il with a gentle shove.
"There," Agent Neener sneered, "you're really flying."
* * *
"Hello CAM," Cloud sneered.
"Hello Strife," Agent CAM replied, "and one more thing.....Sugar Rush!" Agent CAM charged at the hapless author with full force, and both flew off of the Tower of Bab-il.
"CAM!" Celes called, but as if it was a reply a whip lashed around a gargoyle and Agent CAM pulled himself up with a smirk. Locke snapped his fingers.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again CAM!" Celes snapped with a smile.
* * *
"Jerk!" Butterfree insulted.
"PhilosoBS!" Agent Gray Fox replied, "If a tree falls in the woods on a mime, with no one there to hear it. Does anyone really care?"
"I don't know...JERK!" Butterfree said rubbing her temples, "hurting my brain..."
Butterfree, in her studpor, tripped off of the top of the Tower of Bab-il.
* * *
"I hope you die a slow and painful death Captain!" Stephen Sloan called.
"I'll just do what happened to you last time," Agent tC said as a red haze surrounded him. "Rocket Town!" The 14,000 tons of e-mail pounded into Stephen Sloan, but he quickly put a forcefield up to protect himself.
"Ha!" Stephen Sloan mocked. "That won't work this time!"
"I'll just use what was going to happen to you if you didn't listen to those e-mail," Agent tC replied another red haze surrounding him. "Rocket Town Rally!" Suddenly a rumbling was heard. It was a march of every person that ever liked Rocket Town coming after Stephen Sloan all armed with flamethrowers. The angry RTers unleashed their torrents of fire on poor Stephen Sloan. After making Sloan extra crispy the RTers marched away.
"We won!" the FPS2 Agents cried.
"Not quite," the extra crispy Stephen Sloan replied. "Copy creature!" Stephen Sloan suddenly combined himself with Safer-Sephiroth, and became "One Winged Sloan."
"Oh my god!" Agent CAM gasped. "It's One Winged Sloan!"
"Is..this the end?" Agent tC inquired.
"Of this chapter," Agent CAM replied, "yes."
Go on to Section 11