Final Pokémon Solid 2

Section 6

PLEASE NOTE: Just like in some of Fritz's fanfics, this part contains spoilers from FF8, FF4, FF5, FF6, Shining Force, Xenogears and Parasite Eve. Don't say I never warned you.

--Benit

The white light began to speak;

"Greetings. I am known as the Paladin. I will guide you to how to save your friends. Follow me."

With that, the white light went upwards. The Super Spoony 5 were quite confused as to what this guy might be leading them into. Sure, it was another plot contriviance, maybe an overused one at best.

"Well, that seemed basic enough. Quite dull, may I add," Locke commented.

"Well, looks like we have no choice, eh?" Benit said as the Flight Crystal took the five of them upwards as well. "Okay. What are we doing in the FFIV world again!?" Benit growled at Paladin.

"Again!?" Hart wondered.

"Where do you think I got the Big Whale?"

"Now, you must split up into two parties. Retrieve the Larger Light and the Dark Crystals. There will be obstacles in the way," Paladin said.

"No @#&$*!, Sherlock!" everyone said simultaneously. Paladin sweatdropped.

"By any chance, are you related to Cecil?" Ekans asked him.

"No. But, if you retrieve them all, there'll be no way that the Pentagon can stand up to the awesome power of the eight Crystals," Paladin explained.

"Geez, why don't you make us vote for Yuffie as anything and it'll be simallar!" Hart said.

"Please Hart, I just had a nightmare last night," Benit sarcastically said.

"I know it sounds like an evil deed, but it can be done......." Paladin said before leaving.

"Pikachu! Pikachu!" exclaimed Bob.

"Is this his first time on a spaceship?" asked Locke.

"Actually, no," said Ekans, "but if I explained further, I might have to kill you."

"Oh," said Locke, "one of THOSE trips into space."

"He is acting kinda weird," said Hart,"Don't they usually say stuff like 'pi pika chu' and 'pi ka-chu pi pi chu' and not just 'pikachu' over and over?"

"Hmm," said Ekans, "Maybe he's actually trying to tell us about a pokémon."

Solid Ekans took out his Chu-Chu gun and pokédex and wired them together.

"There's a tracking device on all the rabid chu-chus, so I should be able to tell if #665 has stowed away onboard . . . nope, it looks like it's still stuck to the Chu-Chu back on the FFVII world."

"Pikachu! Pikachu!" Bob shouted, gesutring towards the back of the ship.

"Oh!" said Agent Benit, "I bet he just smells the Big Chocobo we've got back there. Chocobos seem to be considered a lot like pokémon lately. Apart from Cactuars, Tonberrys and Carbuncle."

"That's a relief," said Domino, "I'd hate to think that the little psychotic thing followed us here."

"Speaking of Pokémon," Ekans began, "I forgot to tell you guys in the confusion of the battle, something else attacked Ft. Condor. When I went back to get help, everyone near the pokémon center was in shock or something, like they where forced to watch Yuffie porn or something."

"Was there a TV in there?" asked Locke.

"No," said Ekans,"but there was the transfer PC, and there was a pokéball open near it, but I didn't see any pokémon lying around. I guess that one could have passed out behind a table or something."

"Well," said Benit, "The way the Paladin was talking, we gotta assume that the other agents are somewhere on this planet, so let's split up and get moving."

Then a series of explosions rocked the whale.

"Karp!" shouted Ekans, "It looks like the FFIV welcoming committe is here."

"Get whatever's after us on screen," said Agent Benit, and the screen activated to reveal a set of oddly-covered airships which fired on the whale.

"They're hailing us!" said Locke.

The screen switched to a sihouetted head shot of what could only be assumed to be one of the Pentagon villains or one of their allies.

"You've entrance airspace off the Moth Wings," proclaimed the on-screen figure, "All of your ship are belong to us. Stop or you'll be injured bad."

"What the spoony did he just say?" Domino asked.

"I think he's demanding surrender," said Ekans, "But we may never be sure."

Agent Benit took the whale to their front row (wherever the front row is in the air) and fired some missiles on Locke's orders and directions. The airships were going down one by one, but the silhouetted figure just laughed their head off. Ekans roared through the intercom, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"I'm trying to get rid of you. You're a threat to the Pentagon," the person said.

"Um, basically, we were a threat all along.." Benit said.

"Quiet you!" Domino barked, Benit crowding herself away from the ex-mayor.

"Anyhow, time to kidnap!" A huge web was sent over the whale....

"Bob! Thundershock! NOW!" Ekans yelled. The SOSCOM Pikachu jumped out of the airship and let out a large amount of electricity, burning the web and electrocuting the crew members of the Whale.

Bob stopped his attack and landed safely. Everyone looked very charred.

"Pika...."

"Yeah, you're forgiven," Benit replied before crawling back into the pilot's seat.

"Hahahahahaha! I see that you've managed to stop my web with that Pikachu. Well, I have no furthur business with you. As much as the plot is twisted, I'll leave you with a bomb for you to stop. Farewell, fools!" A bomb dropped inside the airship before the enemy retreated.

Aya suddenly materialized from nowhere.

"Oh hey, Aya. We need you to do a favour for us," Hart said.

"What's that?"

"Take this ball," he said, handing her the bomb, "and skydive."

"But-"

Domino kicked Aya out of the airsip.

"I HATE MY LIFE!" Aya yelled before the bomb exploded, leaving nothing behind.

"Now, where were we? Oh yeah! We have to split up the parties to retrieve the Ultamite Crystal from the FF4 crystals, right? I wonder what it does..." Benit wondered.

"I guess it erases every evil done, just like Holy," Hart said.

"Gee, why don't you just tell us ALL of the FF secrets, for cripes sake!" Domino barked.

"Sure! Cecil is Golbez's brother. Faris is gay. Id is Fei. The hero from Shining Force 1 never died in the end. Fujin doesn't talk in capitals all the time. Shadow is Relm's father. Maya is the original Eve. Cid VIII and Edea are-"

"NOT LITERALLY!!! Damn, there goes the spoilers of the FF world. And when did Shining Force get into this?"

"Anyhow, we'll get back into our regular groups like from the beginning and retrieve the eight Crystals to stop the Pentagon," Ekans said.

The assignments were that Locke and Benit would find the Dark Crystals and the others could find the Light Crystal on the Overworld. They split the party (and eventually, the Big Whale) and went their separate ways.

* * *

THE SEARCH OF THE LIGHT CRYSTAL

Solid Ekans, Domino and Hart where left to wander the world of FFIV looking for Crystals, Agents, Evil Pokémon, and anything else that might solve their moth men problems.

"Well," said Ekans,"My guess is that they'd have sent those crystals back to their original locations after the whole game was over, so we'll have to get to Mysidia, Damcyan, Fabul, and Tororia or however those are spelled."

"Well," said Hart,"There's just one little problem, this plan to 'split the Big Whale' didn't work too well. All the fuel tanks are in the other half."

"Oh well," said Domino,"At least we got the half with the big Chocobo."

"Pikachu! Pikachu!" said Bob, poking at the chocobo.

"I know it smells funny Bob," Ekans said, "but it's not a pokémon, it's an item storage character."

"Baron isn't far away," said Hart, "Come on, they've got tons of airships, we can just borrow one."

The threesome got off their portion of the whale and headed towards the castle. As they went off, Bob turned back and saw that the setting sun had projected a Pikachu shadow onto the a wall near the big chocobo. Bob cocked his head to the right as he looked at the Pika-projection, but the shadow's head tilted to the right. Bob shook his head in confusion and continued after his trainer.

* * *

"I'm sorry," said Cid IV, "but we're all out."

"WHAT?" Hart raved, "This world has tons of airships, how can you possibly be out!?!"

"Well," said Cid, "The Red Wings where stolen by a bunch of door-to-door missionaries who asked for a tour of the castle. Once they got inside they turned into moths or something and took off in the airships. They said they needed them to form the 'Moth Wings' for the greater glory of Jenova. They also left behind some nifty tracts, want one?"

"No thanks," said Ekans, "In addition to the fact that we're fighting against the moth men, I try to avoid religious literature from RPG-based worlds because RPG religions are always evil conspiracies."

"My spoony," said Domino, "You're right. BoF 3, Xenogears, FF Tactics . . . all of their religions where evil."

"Yeah," said Ekans, "I think that the programmers' parents must have forced them to go to Sunday school against their will or something."

"Nah," said Hart, "They just want to have Mature Content™."

"*ahem*" said Cid IV, "If this is an evil conspiracy there might be another ship we can use, I hid it in case something like this where to happen. I was waiting for those who fight the moth men to arive, follow me."

The three followed him into the depths of the castle, into a passage beyond Odin's room and down onto a dark walkway that lead into a huge open room. The airship that was waiting there looked similar to the others, but hit had a huge disk-like projection from the front and more propellor shafts to support the added weight.

"It's the Enterprise-F," said Cid, "It's got some magitek stuff on it that I borrowed from number VI. We've got lots of magic power, so it's a lot easier to run the stuff in this world."

They followed him into the disk and onto the airship's bridge and took their seats for take-off.

"All right," said Cid, "Let's hope this thing works!"

A massive set of doors opened above them as the huge rotors began to turn. The massive ship lifted slowly out of the hidden bay and out into the skies above Baron.

"Hoo-ha!" said Ekans, "Now we'll have no trouble finding those crystals!"

"Wait a sec," said Domino, "Look down at the castle . . . it looks like either everyone decided to take a nap at once or . . . "

"Carp!" said Hart, "Something attacked them!"

"Don't worry," said Cid, "I've designed these transporter-things based off of the exit spell, you guys can head down to investigate in a flash. I'll get the MGS ref guy another CODEC so you can call me when you want back up."

The three stepped onto the platforms.

"Ehrgeiz- I mean, energize," said Domino, and Cid activated the device.

When the three arived on the scene, everyone in the castle appeared to have passed out. A few seemed to be experiencing spasms of some sort, but not a soul was truly concious.

"Pidgey-karp," said Ekans, "It's just like what happened inside fort Condor."

"You aren't carying some kind of weird 'solid' virus are you?" Hart inquired.

"Not that I know of," said Ekans, "after all, none of the agents, cute animal characters, or cameos have been affected by being near me."

"I guess it would be strange for it only to effect extras," said Domino, "but something is still very wrong here."

"Pika-Chuuuu," said Bob, who was looking the most distressed of them all.

"That's funky," said Domino, "There's no sign of Cecil or Rosa, I though that they became king and queen or something at the end of the game?"

"Oh yeah," said Ekans, "This is one of those games that uses the fake king plot, isn't it?"

"I thought all games used the fake king plot in one way or another," said Hart.

"Well," said Ekans, "This game was just really obvious about it."

"Oooooooh," said Agent Aya, sumbling into the room, shaking uncontrollably with anime swirly eyes.

"Hey!" said Domino, "It's Aya . . . again."

"I . . . don't have long," said Aya.

"Tell us something we don't know," said Hart.

"It . . . looked cute . . . but it was . . . puff . . . " Aya continued.

"It was puff?" Ekans questioned.

"No . . . that was for . . . dramatic effect," Aya managed to utter, ". . . puff . . . it left . . . for tower . . . guh . . . "

"She's dead . . . again," Domino stated flatly.

"She must mean the Tower of Bab-il," said Ekans, "Whatever did this left for there."

"Don't you mean the Tower of Babel?" said Hart.

* * *

Final Fantasy II/IV Transtation Flashback Super Go!

"A Tower of Babel is a Tower tat is Bab-il!" said Daravon.

"Yes!" said Ted Woosley, "This is the way!"

"Good phrase you having!" said Daravon, "I must using it!"

* * *

"That flashback made no sense!" Hart raved, "Daravon didn't join Square's staff until they did PSX games . . . and we just found out that he doesn't really talk gibberish."

"Maybe so," said Ekans, "but we'll always remember him that way in our fics."

"Are you guys okay down there?" Cid IV cun it, "Did you find out anything?"

"I think we'll be visiting a tower soon," said Ekans, "beam us back."

"Well," said Cid, "I'd like to take you there, but the force field around it activated again."

"What?" said Ekans, "I thought it would have been abandoned after that mecha walked out of it and all."

"Actually," said Cid, "They tried to make it into a tourist attraction, but they shut it down when some guy claiming to be someone else's split personality showed up and took all the parts remaining of the Giant to use in a Metal Gear Solid parody."

"That's weird," said Domino.

"Sounds like the kind of evil plot that would involve Parappa refrences to me," said Hart.

"Well," said Cid, "Without all the cool giant robot stuff to look at, no one wanted to come, so they shut it down, then a few weeks ago the shield went down, then the moth men came not long after that."

"Holy pidgey-karp!" said Ekans, "The Pentagon base that the other agents are stuck in, it must be inside the Bab-il tower! That's why the paladin lead us here! I mean, where else could you keep it out of reach in a world where airships can travel around the world and underground in minutes?"

"He's got a good point," said Domino, "but what about those crystals?"

"Well," said Cid, "The original plot of Golbez . . . or should I say, of Zemus, was to gather the 4 elemental crystals of both light and dark, 8 total, and place them in that tower to activate the giant and destroy this world. Maybe this Paladin guy wants you to get those crystals so that these moth men won't have their appendages on them?"

"Spoony!" said Hart, "with the Moth Wings, they could already have most of them!"

"Right," said Ekans, "We'd better mos- . . . er . . . move out!"

"Well," said Cid, "since you're the main characters, you should learn how to fly this thing."

"Okay," said Domino, "instruct away."

"Okay," said Cid, "All right, we're here, just sitting in the air, I want you to show me that you can get there! Step on the gas!"

Hart spent the remainder of the journey beating Cid IV with his own hammer.

* * *

The Enterprise-F roared through the sky toward its destination, the Tower of Babel.

"Well, this is just spoony," growled JBI Agent Domino. "We finally find out where the Pentagon really is, and there's a big forcefield around it. And I haven't had lunch today!"

"We can't worry about that now," Ekans stared forward at the approaching landscape, "The Tower is just ahead."

"Hey," Hart's eye was caught by something just outside, "What's that?"

On an intercept course, a strange, glowing, flying person floated at them. Suddenly, a white vortex appeared just in front of the ship.

"It looks like Paladin," Cid IV scratched his red beard. "If he thinks he's going to stop us from getting into the Tower, he's got another thing coming!" Without warning, Cid IV picked up his hammer, went to the bay doors, and leapt out! "EEEAAAAAAYYYYYAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!"

Domino and the others were understandably shaken by this. The JBI agent raced over to the door and looked down. He saw the engineer swinging his hammer as he plummetted through the sky and out of sight.

"Why does he keep doing that?!" hollered Domino.

But Cid IV was too late. The airship passed through the vortex suddenly, and emerged above a lush, steamy jungle. And they were losing altitude.

"Brace for impact!" Ekans yelled as he struggled at the helm. The ship broke its way through trees and rocks as it carved a chasm through the dense jungle and stopped. For awhile, the Enterprise-F remained silent. Then, the hatch opened, and three weary agents and a pikachu stumbled out.

"NOW what?" groaned Hart.

"Now," Ekans swept his gaze over the surrounding terrain, trees covering every avenue. "We walk."

JBI agents Domino, Hart and their current ally, Solid Ekans wandered through a lush jungle in search of the Crystal of Light, or anything else that would help their moth problems.

"Why is it we want to find these stupid crystals, again?" Hart whined.

"Quiet you," barked his partner, Domino.

"Once we find the crystals," Ekans called back, "We can rescue Agents Axer, Artemis and Dark. I think." The special-missions Pokémon trainer wiped some sweat from his forehead.

The air was humid and unbearable. Even Bob, his SOCOM Pikachu, walked in comfortable shorts to combat the heat.

"Why couldn't we have gone to look for the Crystal of Dark in a nice, cool cave?" grumbled Domino. "I .... can't... take..." the JBI agent began to breathe heavily, "This!! Eyagh!" Domino grabbed Ekans by the collar and shook him violently while he babbled like a crazy person. "We're gonna die here in this jungle!" he raged, "There is no one to save US! We are miles from civilization! They'll find our bleached bones! We have to get out of this HEAT!!!!" Suddenly, Ekans slapped the frantic agent hard across the face!

"Get a hold of yourself, Domino!"

Hart leaned over and whispered to Ekans, "This guy are sick."

"We'll be okay, Domino," Solid Ekans snapped at the raving agent, "We just have to find some shelter from this intense heat, and hostile, uncivilized environment."

"We could go inside that Starbucks™," Hart offered, pointing at the nearby coffee house.

The three travellers and casually-dressed Pikachu made their way through the shrubbery tothe awaiting Starbucks™. Domino rushed ahead and stormed inside, almost ripping thedoor off of it's hinges. When Ekans pushed open the door and entered, a familiar facecaught his eye.

"Agent Gray Fox?!"

* * *

THE SEARCH OF THE DARK CRYSTALS

Locke swung at bats with his cutlass sword, while Agent Benit cleaved some with her glaive. To cut some hassle, they quickly arrived at the Crystal room by retreating from battles. Benit shivered and said, "Geez, we should've went for the Light Crystal. At least it'll be warmer than this freezer of a cave! (coincidence? Let Benit and Domino trade places ^_^)"

"Aw man. We lost GP," Locke said as shiny things behind them were plucked around by bats.

"Nevermind that. We have the Crystal. Let's get outta here," Benit said as she grabbed the Dark Crystal of Fire from the altar.

Before they managed to leave though, the walls began to move in.

"Holy White Magic! The walls...!" Locke cried out

"Didn't they destroy it last time!?" Benit yelled.

"Don't worry! We can handle it!"

Palom and Porom appeared and stood in front of the moving walls. The other two were completely confused.

"STONE!" They turned themselves into stone, stopping the wall from moving any furthur. Miracuously, even in their pint state versus a huge wall, it never moved again.

"Phew! Let's get outta here now." Benit said as she wiped some beads of sweat from her forehead. They made haste out of the Cave.

The two of them arrived at the Castle of Dwarves without any hassle (despite riding in a split Big Whale) and went inside to get King Jiott's permission to use their crystal.

"Lali-ho! What may I do you for, girl and theif?" Jiott asked.

"THAT'S TRE-" Locke began to yell but Benit clamed his mouth with her hand.

"*smile* We came here for a very important errand. You see, we're trying to stop the Moth Men from the Pentagon and someone who calls himself Paladin told us to collect all of the Crystals of this world. We need yours, if it won't be much trouble," Benit explained.

"Moth Men!? We've been battling them off with our cannons! If the crystals can stop them, go ahead!" Jiott said.

"Wait a sec!"

Locke stood tall and listend to the silence for a second. Everyone stared at him. Jiott remembered what happened last time with Yang's suspicion and let the two warriors in the crystal room.

"Oh my! What the spoony!?" Benit wondered.

"Yip ho ho ho! We're the Barbiena, sister to Calbrena. We're gonna get you!" Little Barbie dolls with moth wings swarmed down and swatted them.

"BLANK CHECK!" Several checks stuck to some dolls' faces and blew them up. Locke cut some with his cutlass sword like a fencer. More and more came after them.

"Whoa! What are we to do!?" Benit cried out.

Suddenly, dwarves ran into the room and attacked the Barbienas with their axes and hammers. Benit cleaved the last two with her glaive, ending the battle.

"Two out of four crystals captured! I wonder how the others are doing with their mission," Locke said.

"Hey, where are the other two? There weren't any sequences for the heroes concerning the other ones," Benit asked Jiott.

"Oh, well Golbez found them in this castle. But, you might have to go up against elves," Jiott said.

"Kinda like the Dark Elf. What're they weak to?"

"Everything."

"What!? They're that cheap here! No wonder nobody cared to do a sequence for those crystals," Locke said.

"No, actually it's because the cartridge didn't have enough space. It was a dumb idea to make FF7 with cartridges for N64," Jiott 'matter-of-factly' said.

"Well, let's go kick some worthless elf butt!" Benit exclaimed as she ran through the dungeon door with Locke.

* * *

Agent Benit and Locke were huffing and puffing after killing off a ton of elves and still more to go.

"Oookay. We're almost to the Crystals. The dwarves really were drunk from the punch to safeguard the crystals with elves!" Benit replied as more elves were sent hurling through the wall with her Gold Rush limit.

They reached the center and a small creature guarded the crystals.

"Jesus Christ! It's Link from Zelda! That little bard!" Locke cried outloud.

All Link simply said was, "Let's battle..."

* * *

BACK TO THE LIGHT CRYSTAL

"What the heck are you doing here?"

"What the heck am I doing here? What the heck are you doing here?!"

Agent Gray Fox and Solid Ekans stared at each other in shock while they each asked theother what the other was doing there only to answer that what they were doing therewouldn't be answered until the other answered what the other was doing there.

"Somebody tell someone something!" cried Agent Neener from the booth at the Starbucks™ coffee house in which they sat.

"How did you guys get here without Paladin Magic™?" Ekans asked finally.

"Paladin Magic™?" Gray Fox eyed the solid agent in puzzlement for a moment, "We just took the jeeps."

"Wait a second," Hart finally piped up, "HOW much for an iced cappuccino?" Ekans looked at Hart for a few seconds, then over to the counter where Agent Domino, who had his mouth under the iced-tea dispenser, and was in no hurry to speak up.

"Quiet, you!" he snapped at Hart. That being done, Ekans turned back to Fox. "So why areyou guys here? Looking for the Light Crystal yourselves?"

"No," Gray Fox shrugged, "This is Yuffrassic Park. We were taking a tour."

"'Yuffrassic Park'?!" Ekans and Hart screamed in unision. Domino heard them and started choking and coughing, and was soon rolling around on the floor for air.

"Pi-KA-chu!" pikachued Bob the SOCOM Pikachu.

"You said it, Bob," Ekans agreed.

"What?" asked Bob the scientist.

* * *

"The agents are getting too close," mysterious Villain #2 growled in the darkness.

"Da."

"We must not let them discover the truth of their situtation," Villain #2 rumbled. "If they uncover the true owners of Yuffrassic Park, the threads of our evil could unravel before our eyes."

"Da, comrade."

"Your defeat at the hands of Agent Artemis was inexcusable," the vile creature spat, "I expect more from a trainer of your level."

"Ov course."

"But never mind that now," Villain #2 cleared his evil throat, "We have others matters to tend to. And if those fools from the JBI survived our little 'displacement' to Yuffrassic Park, they can die along with the others there." In the darkened chamber, hideous, bone-chilling laughter echoed through the air.

* * *

"So you guys were looking for the Crystal of Light," Gray Fox recounted, "But ended up here in the Park? And you need the crystals to save Artemis, Axer and Dark?"

"I think so," Hart slurped on his cold beverage, "But I'm pretty lost as it is."

"You wouldn't happen to have a Crystal of Light around here by any chance Bob?" Trainer Phantom asked the scientist.

"Of course," Bob answered evenly, "It's on the tour."

"Well," Agent Gray Fox walked to the door of the Yuffrassic Park Starbucks™ and looked back at the agents gathered, "Let's go get that crystal and save the others."

"Right," Ekans nodded, "But we'll need a ship. The Enterprise-F was damaged in the crash."

"And we should let Agent Benit know what's going on," JBI Agent Domino added.

"Right," Ekans turned and scowled at Hart, "Does anyone have a CODEC or PHS? Mine was smashed."

"Here," Trainer Phantom held out his PHS.

Ekans dialed a number and lifted the PHS to his ear He heard ensuing battle and a familliar female voice say, "Yeah?"

"Benit? This is Ekans. We've been taken back to our world. You and Locke make your way to the Tower of Babel. That's where they're holding the others. We'll meet you there. Ekans out."

"Oh boy! A picnic!" cheered Agent Neener.

"Let's go!" Agent Gray Fox opened the door.

The group split into two teams to get in each jeep. The drivers, grandkids and other non-Agent members, with the exception of Bob the scientist, decided to wait at the coffee house for the next jeep back while the others went for the Crystal of Light.

The two jeeps travelled for awhile through the lush park on their electric tracks until it was almost sunset.

"How much further?" groaned Agent Neener.

"Not much," assured Bob.

"That's what you've been saying for hours!" snapped Trainer Phantom.

Suddenly, the two jeeps stopped.

"What the-?" Fox looked around for some reason why they would suddenly stop. Both jeeps had myseriously lost all power. Only the battery-operated radios worked.

Bob turned on the CB radio in the lead jeep and called the station, "This is Bob. What's going on up there?"

"This is Bill from the lab," a voice garbled through heavy static, "Some Russain guy just cut the power!" Everyone in both jeeps looked up suddenly. "He brought all these moth-guys with him and they trashed the place!"

Gray Fox looked around at the surrounding jungle, "What about the electric fences here at the park?" Agent Neener's blood ran cold at that observation.

"You have to get the power on," Bob bellowed into the transmitter, "Or the Yuffiraptors might escape!!" Bob waited for an answer but heard none. A sudden wave of screams and explosions was all they heard before the radio cut out.

In the utter stillness around them, no one could break the silence. As they watched the sun go down, only Domino could manage to speak.

"...spoony."

Suddenly, Jimi's beverage started to make some ripples. Silence. Then ripples. This definetly wasn't a guy underneath the jeep with an elastic.....

"You feel that?" Phantom asked. Fox and Jimi nodded. Suddenly, the huge fence beside them shattered and the dreaded Yuffisaurus Rex, ninja lizard, lumbered onto the road.

"Oh spoony...," Fox said.

Gray Fox, Phantom Ghost and Jimi looked up in dread as the Yuffiesaurus Rex lumbered onto the road and let out an ear shattering roar.

"Who thinks we can take it?" whispered Phantom

"If the others were here maybe, but not with only the three of us."

Phantom nodded his agreement as the Yuffiesaurus Rex began to lumber over toward their jeep.

"Who wants to bail out right now?" Phantom asked, moving toward the door.

"Sounds good to me..." Fox said moving toward his door. Jimi looked ready to bolt out the side of whichever person made it out first.

"Ready..." Fox started

"Set...." Phantom continued

"GO!" They both shouted at once. They opened thier doors with unncanny speed and were out in a flash. Jimi was close behind Fox on the side of the jeep closest to the fence. Phantom was the side closest to the Yuffiesaurus Rex.

"Spoooooony!" Phantom yelled as he dodged around to the back of the jeep, the Yuffiesaurus close behind. Once back there Phantom had a revelation.

"Of course! It's soooooooo obvious!" he shouted. He immediately went back out in front of the Yuffiesaurus, readying a pokéball as he went.

"Gastly, I choose you!" Phantom shouted.

"Ghastly!"

"Ghastly, distract the Yuffiesaurus while we make a cunning escape!" Phantom yelled

"Ghastly!" (translation: You want me to FIGHT that ugly thing? You must be high on Materia-O's or something!)

"OK fine. Ghastly return! Haunter go!" Phantom said as he retreived Gastly and sent out Haunter.

"Ha, ha, haun!" Haunter said/laughed.

"Haunter, think you can distract the Yuffiesaurus Rex while we make a cunning escape?" Phantom asked of his Pokémon.

"HA, HA, HA, HAUNTER!!" (translation: {laughter} No problem Phantom!)

"Thanks Haunter!" Phantom called. He then ducked around to the back of the jeep to join Gray and Jimi.

"What was that all about?" Fox questioned.

"Buying us a little time to think of a way out of here. Any ideas?"

"Well, we could go over the cliff face there into the park. I picked up a map at the center before we left so I think we can find the crystal and our way out too."

"Good enough. That shou... Augh!" Phantom exclamed as the jeep was pushed toward the ledge.

"What the spoony is Haunter doing?" Phantom wondered. He got up to have a look over just as the jeep was pushed forward again. Phantom promply fell on his back. Gray sort of snickered at this. "Oh be quiet," Phantom said, albeit not with much feeling. He got up again, away from the jeep this time as so not to be knocked down again, and had a look over to see what Haunter was doing.

Haunter was dressed in a little hat that looked like a Mickey Mouse hat that got shrunk. It was holding a red cape in front of itself with it's disembodied hands and was leading the Yuffiesaur like a bull. Some of the passes lead straight into the jeep.

"We've got to go now!" Phantom hurriedly told them.

So climing onto a nearby tree the trio made it down into the park. But not before the jeep decided to take a flying leap off the ledge above them.

"Heads up!" Gray shouted as the jeep speed toward them. The insentive of a jeep plumeting towards you is not to be questioned. The three Agent/Summon/Trainer sped down the tree so fast it looked like they were falling, witch was the case with Jimi after he snagged a branch.

"Jimi!" Gray cried and he speed off to help him. He raced down the tree, and caught Jimi by his belt, only to look up and see a jeep about to land on him. He closed his eyes and made his peace and waited.

And waited.

"Fox, open your eyes, I think it's stuck," Phantom said pointing upwards. The jeep indeed did get stuck in some of the larger, lower branches.

"Better hurry up though, I don't know how long it'll hold. Here, let me help..." Phantom said giving Jimi a bit more support than just Gray holding onto his belt. Working together to get Jimi back into a state so he could climb down the rest of the way, they made it to the bottom.

Just then Haunter returned to the group.

"Hey Haunter! Good job! But next time, try not to aim at us. OK?" Phantom asked.

"Haun, Haunter." (translation: OK)

So with Haunter returned, the Yuffiesaurus Rex bellowing up above and who knows what happening to the other agents, the trio of Gray Fox, Jimi and Phantom Ghost started off into the park toward the Light Crystal.

* * *

"Are you sure we shoulda left Fox and the others there?" Hart sat in the three-man helicopter with Ekans and Domino. He wore a 'Yuffrassic Park Gift Shop' t-shirt and baseball cap, and had a large, white crystal nestled in his lap.

"Quiet you!" snapped JBI Agent Hart, "Once we get the Enterprise's fuel tanks refilled, and this crystal on board, we can go pick them up!"

"Exactly," nodded Solid Ekans.

No sooner had they fixed the airship's engines using the Instant Plot Device brand motor oil, refuelled the tanks, and secured the Crystal of Light, then they were on their way!

The Enterprise-F rose into the sky, as the airship theme filled the air!

"Okay," Ekans manned the helm, "Let's go flatten some Yuffiraptors!"

"Who in their right minds would want to clone Yuffie?" Domino shuddered.

Suddenly, the airship was swarmed with Moth Men!

"Not again!" cried Hart.

Ekans stared forward as the sky filled with mothy creatures in well-groomed suits carrying pamphlets approaching the craft. There was only one way out this time.

"Domino, take the wheel," Ekans announced, "I'm goin' outside." The Solid agent climbed the ladder to the top hatch of the ship as the swarm of angry moth men grew closer in the dark sky ahead. And just as they were about to collide, he called to the heavens: "Parappa Reference Solid!"

As Ekans rapped like he never rapped before, the flying half-man, half-moth beasts stopped in their tracks, confused by what was transpiring. As the ship passed neatly through the motionless swarm, Ekans stood atop it, lobbing C4 packs at each creature, while maintaining his funky flow.

But Hart was another matter.

Hart, dear Hart. The JBI Agent stood frozen, his hands at his sides. Saying nothing. Doing nothing. Just listening to the gross amount of Parappa created by Ekans' limit attack. His face grew redder and redder at each word.

"We got problems!" Domino yelled from the helm. In the sky in front of them - Mothra Man! Ekans looked up ahead as the last of the regular-sized moth men dropped out of the sky from the exploding C4 packs. He saw the giant king of all moth men sailing toward them. Today was not a good day to be airship-surfing.

"BAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" A primal scream erupted from inside the ship.

"Ah my freakin' ears!" cried Domino.

The outburst echoed throughout the night sky above Yuffrassic Park, causing several Yuffiesaurs below to look up for a moment. Suddenly, a red flare flew out of the airship and rocketted toward the Mothra Man, causing it to explode on impact!

Two moth men barely conscious on the ground below were heard to remark, "They killed Mothra Man!"

"You bards!" the other added.

Hart fell to his knees on the bridge of the ship, exhausted from his limit attack, "Hart's Rage", activated only by Ekans' limit attack, "Parappa Reference Solid".

"Now that that's over," Domino began, "Let's go get the others."

But it was not to be. The same white vortex appeared in front of the ship, pulling them through it. The Paladin Magic™ that had allowed them to retrieve the Light Crystal now returned them to the FFIV world.

"Spoony," Ekans groaned, "Feels like we're going in circles."

* * *

A small but sinister shape floated down from a portal the place where the Enterprise-F had so recently been disabled. The creature searched throughout the vessel's area of impact with no success, all the wreckage had been re-constructed by the instant plot device™ brand oil.

Lightning crashed across the sky and a familiar Pikachu-shaped shadow against the foliage. Then the bushes before the creature rustled and a Yuffiraptor emerged and it began to stare down the creature. Then a set of two other Yuffiraptors leapt from the underbrush at the creature. Then a blinding strobe of red light cut through the jungle about them and the three Yuffiraptors fell to the ground. The strange being levitated off the forest floor and vanished the same way it came.

* * *

The Enterprise-F descended into the underground in search of Locke, Benit and the rest of the crystals.

"Well," said Ekans, "The Magitechnological scanner thingy indicates that we found a real bargain, this light crystal has all four elemental powers we need, that certainly saves a lot of fetch-questing . . . it's also picking up all the dark crystals in a cave not far away."

"Well," said Hart, "What are we waiting for? Let's get down there."

Ekans walked over to a control pannel labeled 'Cid IV's amazing all-terrain airship landing programs.'

"Let's see . . . plains . . . forests . . . deserts . . . aha! Landings in caves. Wow, this thing has everything."

Ekans pushed the button and armor panels appeared and covered the ship's bottom. Much to the confusion and dismay of the airship's occupants, the Enterprise-F dropped like a rock, straight through the roof of the cavern.

* * *

"Oh my spoony!" shouted Benit, "They killed Link!"

The door of the ship opened and Ekans' head poped out.

"We did?" he said, "Darn, that was one of the N64 characters I could actually stand."

A small fairy drifted from a bottle that was stuck partly-under the ship and it brought the cameo character back to life. Then Domino threw the switch to let out the exit ramp and it extended down, crushing the green-clad Hylian for a second time with a dull thud.

"This must not be his day," said Locke, "In any event, we've got all the dark cystals, how'd you guys do?"

"We got em' at a four-for-one sale at a very sick theme park," Hart stated.

"What?" said Locke, "one of those Disney ones?"

* * *

Surprisingly enough, the airship was able to lift back up out of the cave after it's unorthadox landing and it headed off towards the tower.

"That didn't take long. Hey, what the spoony!?" Benit wondered as the Dark Crystals merged with the even larger one. It now looked like a huge rainbow-like, flouresent-prism-like crystal. Everyone scratched their heads.

"Probably for better safekeeping," Locke said.

"Soooo, what happened to you guys?" Benit asked the other three.

"We went to Yufrassic Park and found the large crystal. We gotta head back now and find the Pentagon to use this thing on them. They're in the Tower of Bab-il," Ekans replied.

Ekans explained to Benit while she piloted the Enterprise-F about his theory about the Pentagon using the tower as their hideout. She pursed her eyebrow, but said nothing.

Go on to Section 7