Final Pokémon Solid 2

Section 5

Meanwhile, various other Agents had met up at Fort Condor.

"Pi-KA-chu!"

"You said it, Bob," Solid Ekans replied, "This is one of the most state-of-the-art Pokémon Centres around!"

"Your Pokémon are fighting fit!" bubbled the girl behind the counter with the pink towel on her head.

Ekans took his Pikachu and pokéballs greatfully and returned them to his unlimited-storage pack.

"You almost done there?" grumbled JBI Agent Domino. He and his partner Hart were waiting as patiently as they could for their unlikely ally to finish with his Poké-responsibilities.

"Yeah, yeah." Ekans grinned.

* * *

"Agh! Get off!" Agent Dark weakly cried as the two agents who had landed on him threatened to pop his spleen out through his nostrils.

"Heh, sorry," Agent Axer meekly picked himself up off the crumpled adventurer.

"What are you doing here, Benit?" Agent Artemis asked as she again made her way back up the rope ladder. Once the three newest Agents had reached the main level, the time for explanations was at hand.

Benit looked solemnly in the distance for a moment, collecting and crystallizing her thoughts as clearly as she possibly could before she spoke, as to leave nothing open for misunderstanding. And when she was ready, her eyes once again met the group, a look of direness overwhelming her features:

"Jus' hangin' around."

Locke and the three Agents dropped to the ground in true-anime style.

"Could you possibly expand on that?" Agent Artemis begged.

"Hey guys!" Solid Ekans and the JBI Agents emerged from the Pokémon Centre and greeted the gathered group.

"Ekans," Axer called, "What're you doing here?"

"Classified!" shouted Agent Hart.

"Quiet, you," Domino grumbled at his partner.

"We're on a Pokémon quest," Ekans started, "To find a specific Pokémon."

"Actually," Domino added, "We were also looking for a missing Pokémon trainer, who we believe was looking for said specific Pokémon."

"Will you guys stop saying Pokémon?!" cried Agent Benit.

"Oh! That reminds me!" Agent Axer broke in, "I have to go to the Pokémon Centre to heal up my Pokémon!"

"AGHH!" the young coin minter held her hands to her ears. With that, Agent Axer ran into the nearby doors.

"Wait a second," Agent Artemis interrupted, "What specific Pokémon?"

"Number 519," Ekans answered evenly, "One of the deadliest Pokémon in existance."

"There's no Pokémon #519, is there?" Artemis tapped her lip in thought.

"It's a mutateao-evolved form of another one." Ekans turned away from the group and dramatically clenched his fist before him. "We can't let it get into the wrong hands."

Agent Dark listened intently at the conversation taking place here in the main hall. Only, he wasn't really listening. Once again, some shadowy, inner force beckoned him forth, speaking, ever so softly, 'Use the toilet sword, Dark..... it is your destinyyyy.... kill them nowwwww....'

"Oh wait!" Agent Dark jumped up from his still position, "I have to go use the restroom really bad!" And with that, he hastily went into a nearby washroom.

"But you just went at Starbucks," called Artemis after the excused Agent. She sighed and turned back to Ekans and the others. "So that's your quest?" Agent Artemis finally asked.

"Yes, that's it," Ekans started before recalling, "Oh wait there's one more thing..."

Hart and Domino stood back and shielded their ears.

"-The Moth Men are coming." Ekans finally spoke.

The rest of the group simply looked at him for a few minutes waiting for any further explanation.

"Didn't you hear him?!" bellowed Hart, "HE SAID THE MOTH MEN ARE COMING!!"

Everyone clutched their ears in pain as Hart's voice echoed through the great hall.

When the echo stopped, Dark pushed open the bathroom door and asked, "Did you say something to me?" Hearing no response, he closed the door again and returned to his business.

"So why are you guys here?" Benit finally asked Artemis' group.

"Axer just HAD to stop here to the Pokémon gym," Artemis waved a finger to the centre doors, "Before we continued our investigation of Yuffie clones and Ultimate Tea gone bad."

"Wow," Hart piped.

"Quiet you," Domino snapped.

"Well I say our next course of action should be-" but before Ekans could finish, a frantic Fort Condor native, Earl, rushed into the main hall.

"Help us!! Fort Condor is being INVADED!" the shrieking man shrieked.

"Again?" Domino huffed.

"Yes," the man continued, "By well-dressed young people trying to hand out pamhplets about the glory of Jenova. We locked the doors on them but now they're climbing up the side of the mountain!"

"So what do you want us to do?" called Agent Axer as he returned from the Pokémon Centre.

"You must help us to drive them back!" cried Earl. "Just buy the services of our troops and use them to defend Fort Condor!"

Earl started to run off again but Hart grabbed him by the back of the collar.

"Let me get this straight," Artemis approached the sweaty little man, "You want us to defend your Fort, but we have to hire your soldiers?"

"At a, uh..reasonable p-price," the man gulped.

"We don't need troops!" Axer proclaimed, "We'll defend this Fort on our own!" The young Agent brandished his ever-ready Pokéballs.

Hart looked down at the pocket in which he kept the oh-so-mysterious black Pokéball. Perhaps this time he would in deed have to use it... May the Planet have mercy on their souls.

Meanwhile, Agent Dark was having a different crisis in the restroom. 'This is not what I meant you fool.....!' the voice growled.

"Stupid zipper," he grunted, "Why did you have to get stuck now?!"

Earl, the troop specialist of Fort Condor, approached the other Agent for the automatic tutorial. "Well," said Earl, "It looks like we have three basic types: The flying Moth Men, who seem to be weak to shooters, the Bararic Jenova's Whitnesses who throw pamplets at a distance, who are weak to defenders, and the Moth Man larvae, which are weak to-"

"Spoony that," said Ekans ,"Axer's right. We've got lots of agents, let's just engage the enemy ourselves and buy backup if it gets too spoony out there."

The Agents assembled outside the fort as the J W troops began to make their ascent.

"I hope you're ready to take on those bug-types," said Ekans, "Chocobo! Go!"

"Not a bad idea," said Agent Axer, "Gold Chocobo! Go!"

Agent Artemis and Locke readied their weapons to engage the enemy in more conventonal manners, and Ekans sent several rabid Chu-Chus after enemies in the distance before joining the melee with his prog fish.

"Actually," said Agent Artemis, "There is a degree of strategy to this."

"Yeah," said Locke,"Some of them are vulerable to this close range hack and slash-"

"And others," said Ekans, raising the Chu-Chu launcher towards a dive-bombing moth man,"Have to be taken down at a distance!"

"CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU-CHU!"

The pink projectle struck the moth man from the skies as the battle raged on.

"Spoony it," said Hart, "They just keep coming!"

"I know," said Ekans, "They're like characters from a shoot-em up . . . or the Metal Gear Solid guards. I'll go back and try and get some help, Axer, can you shout some pokécommands to my chocobo?"

"Sure thing," said Agent Axer,"Who knows, maybe it'll get boosted exp."

Ekans rushed back into the fort, "Hey Earl! . . . Earl? Where a~are you?"

The halls of the fort remained deathly quiet. Ekans raced down the halls, in search of any of the forts residents until he came to the pokémon center. A pokéball laid open next to the transfer PC, and all the occupants of the room, including the center's nurse, where on the floor, convulsing in a state of shock.

Agent Benit sat in the pilot's seat of the Big Whale and soared it to the air.

"Time to test my FPS-only Nukes of the Century!" she said as she advanced near the crew of Moth Men advancing to her friends. She decided to go for the air Moth Men, and let the others take the ground.

"Fire Away!" Benit shot a missile at one Moth Man, making an explosion of blue fireworks and moths fly around. The ground Agents were probably shocked by their faces (and their jaws on the ground). She fired at more flying Moth Men, making the battle seem like Canada Day in Windsor. She hoped they would notice the ground Moth Men soon.

"At last!" a distraught voice echoed from the bathroom stall as the battle raged outside Fort Condor. Agent Dark burst outside with triumph!! He then quickly returned to the restroom to wash his hands. But when THAT was done, you better believe he was ready to fight!

"Not so fast..." the strange voice called to him.

"Oh no," Dark spat, "I do not have time for this! I have to go protect Artemis..."

"Well you will make time mister..."

"What now?" Agent Dark finally asked.

"You must get to the Pokémon Centre," the voice moaned, "Before it's too late..."

Agent Dark thought carefully about those grim words for a moment, before the voice added, "And did you wash your hands..?!"

* * *

Artemis stood back while Axer engaged some troops in front of them. Seeing her opportunity, Artemis got the hose. Oh yes, she got THE hose.

The dynamic agent sprayed the nearest attackers with white, soggy justice! The suits (and moth wings) began to wrinkle and ruin!

"Oh no!" one of the villains was heard to oh-no, "Oh what a world what a world...." Several of the wetted fiends began to tumble down the side of the cliff helplessly, littering brochures in their wake. But then the water stopped.

"What?!" Artemis looked back at the hose and saw a Jenova's Witness standing on her hose, wearing a large sandwhich-board poster that read, 'Jenova Loves You'.

Elsewhere among the battle, Domino and Hart struggled for their very lives amidst the chaos! "Hart," the first JBI agent cried,"I don't have any weapons! I told you the new JBI budget had some holes in it!"

Hart looked back forelorn at his partner, "Not even any Pokémon?"

"No...," Domino rubbed his teary eyes under his glasses, "You guys made me give up the greatest Pokémon I ever had - the rottingferrettype. *sniff*"

"Well," Hart began, "I have THIS." And of course dear reader, Hart once again took out that ominous, enigmatic, archaic, cataclysmic, undeterrable, unindurable, nutty, chewy, crispy, black Pokéball with the single yellow star on top of it.

"Put that thing AWAY!!" Domino roared, "We were given strict orders not to use PokémonX until the situtaion was completely hopeless! Until every last one of us has fought to the death with every breath of our being! Until all hope was but a memory of the world we once knew!"

"Oh rats," Hart deflated as he returned the ball to his pocket.

"Excuse me," a polite young person approached the two agents, "Would you be interested in saving on long distance with JenovaMoth Sprint?"

"Throw the ball!"

Benit and Locke looked out below at the raging battle to protect Fort Conodor. She saw Hart and Domino race to the front lines with Axer and Artemis, preparing to join the fight in earnest. (How Locke got into the Whale......Instantaneous Teleportation TM)

"Benit! MothRa!" Locke shouted from his chair.

The young coin minter looked up and saw a giant Moth flying towards the ship.

"Oh...."

"Everybody!" Hart shouted to the two agents fighting, "Stand back!"

"What?" Axer looked puzzled as he watched Hart and Domino run out between the agnets and the attacking moth men witnesses. "Get out of the way!" It was then that Axer noticed Hart holding said black Pokéball out in front of him as he ran. "What's in there?!" the excited trainer bellowed.

Domino ran to Artemis and Axer as they held their weapons and Pokéballs at the ready, "You don't want to see what's about to happen..."

Suddenly, Hart threw the Pokéball. Like an impending storm, it rolled through the air, an echoing wind rushed past its surface, closer to the enemy Moth Men Jenova Witnesses. Doom seemed to fill the sky as all eyes locked on this hideous object. It touched ground softly, and sat upon the dirt like a vile egg. The Moth Men slowly started to move toward it, a roll of thunder was heard in the distance. And the Pokéball opened.

"What the-?!" Agent Axer cried.

The Moth Men looked puzzled at the creature that stood before them. It was a short little grey penguin man with two bug eyes, a red cloak, carrying a little lamp in one hand, and a little knife in the other. A twirling yellow star hovered above its head.

"Master Tonberry?" Agent Artemis shrieked.

"Yeah," Hart nodded, "That thing was a devil to catch."

The little penguin creature slowly waddled up to the imposing moth forces, who almost started laughing at the patheticy of their foe. The first Moth Man took out a big axe and chopped down hard on the head of the creature. Nothing happened. Master Tonberry just looked up at them with those vacant yellow eyes, unharmed.

Another one came by with a sledge hammer and started pounding repeatedly on the little skull of MT, with absolutely no effect. Then more moth men wailed, kicked, punched, stabbed, UZied, throttled, choked and spit on the little waddling creature, each assault causing no change in its condition.

Then Master Tonberry slowly lifted his knife and touched it gently against one of the moth men. The fiend exploded in blood and guts and moth dust!

"That's ridiculous," Agent Artemis groaned, "What was Square smoking?"

"That's not the worst of it," Hart bowed his head solemly as the dreaded Pokémon SLOWLY waddled through the horde of moth men, "It's almost impossible to get it back inside the ball."

"Like a psyduck?!" Axer beamed.

"Yeah," Domino nodded, "Only WAY more annoying. And deadly."

* * *

"Prepare to fire the OmegaNuke!" Locke called out.

Benit set the target and fired the OmegaNuke. It hit Mothra Man, only causing a little damage.

"Nunchucks! We need something to sublimate this moth now!" Benit said.

"Dry Ice!" Locke said.

Benit asked him, "Does Dry Ice work?"

"Just try the Dry Ice Missile, for heavens sake!"

Benit shot the Dry Ice Missile, causing an explosion of white and little rays when it connected to Mothra Man. When the dust settled, there wasn't anything but a rabid Chu-Chu heading their way.

"Spoony! NC17 Missile Launcher! NOW!" Benit shot the missile and it caused all of this NC17 stuff to be heard in the Chu-Chu's brain, causing it to die and fall lifeless. The minter and treasure hunter then took greater regard to what was going down below them.

While Master Tonberry was slicing away and at the same time being attacked by various weapons ranging from funny and goofy to just plain hurtful. Unfortunetly the Moth Men's attacks were apparently unaffective as Master Tonberry continued to kill all the enemies. The Agents were standing at the top and were watching the grim spectacle that was happening down below.

"Eeew....gross..." said Agent Axer as he stuck his tounge out in disgust.

"Are they really supposed to explode like that??" asked Agent Artemis as she saw another Moth Man explode from Master Tonberry's attack.

"Anyways, help me out here will ya?" asked Agent Ekans as he pushed a large boulder.

"What're you doing???" asked Hart as he scratched his head with confusion.

"What do you THINK I'm doing??" asked Agent Ekans as he continued to push the boulder but without much success.

"Um....crunches for your spine?" answered Hart even though he wasn't sure what the Agent was doing.

"Nevermind....just PUSH this rock over okay?" said Agent Ekans as he continued to push the rock.

Everyone followed suit as they approached the large boulder that hung just above the moth men and began to push it. Unfortunetly they *almost* tipped it over but they only needed the help of one more person.

"Gah!..I feel like I'm gonna pop!" said Agent Axer as his face turned red.

"Argh...you said it..." Agent Artemis said through clenched teeth as she pushed the rock.

"Maybe we just...gotta believe!" said Hart.

"Quiet you!" exclaimed Domino as he continued to push the rock.

Suddenly a loud popping noise was heard as if Agent Axer had literally popped.

"Oh no!" shrieked Agent Artemis, "Agent Axer DID pop after all..."

"No I didn't!" Agent Axer said as he continued to push the boulder "I'm still here!"

"Tee hee," said Agent Dark as he threw the blown up balloon on the ground, "Fooled ya! What're you guys doing anyways?"

"Just...." Agent Ekans started to say as he continued to push the heavy rock, "Push the spoony rock!"

Agent Dark shrugged his shoulders to himself as he approached the rock and began to push it. They're efforts were well rewarded as the boulder was pushed off and it began to roll down the hill. All the Moth Men had large exclamation points appear above their head as they saw the giant rock and began to run away from it. The rock continued it's speedy decent as it crushed hundreds upon hundreds of Moth Men and was approaching Master Tonberry.

"Oh no! What about Master Tonberry!" exclaimed Hart as he flailed his arms in the air.

"What ABOUT him?" said Domino coldly.

"At least he'll be gone to a better place" said Agent Axer as he patted the hysterical Hart on the shoulders.

The rock had reached Master Tonberry by just a few inches of space between them when the rock had suddenly stopped it's hasty decent. The other Agents raised their eyebrows at the spectacle as MT had stabbed the rock and stopped it from rolling down. The boulder began to glow bright and then shattered into millions of fragments which caused it to impale itself into hundreds of more Moth Men.

"Aaaah!" exclaimed a Moth Man as he threw some flyers and pamphlets into the air, "Let's get out of here!"

All the other Moth Men followed suit as they began to run away from Fort Condor. All the Agents cheered and did their own little victory dance as they all gained experiance points from the battle. Agent Ekans had a blue and mysterious floating sign above him stating that he had leveled up.

"Cool! I gained a level!" Agent Ekans said happily as he looked up at the sign.

Meanwhile Agent Benit and Locke were busy shooting at Mothra Man who they thought they killed but was ressurected as the escaping Moth Men assembled together to recreate the giant beast

"How can we stop this thing? We already used the dry ice!" Agent Benit said as she pressed the trigger and fired at the Mothra Man.

"We have no choice," said Locke as he went over to a large and shiney red button. "We have to use....the SECRET WEAPON X."

Suddenly a loud and suspensful organ music played for 5 seconds and then died away. Agent Benit scratched her head in confusion as she wondered where the music came from.

"You can't mean....SECRET WEAPON X?" Agent Benit asked as she looked at the red button.

Then more suspensful organ music played when Agent Benit had said the word SECRET WEAPON X.

"Yes...I do mean....SECRET WEAPON X," Locke said as the same music played over again.

"Aaaaah!" shriekd Agent Artemis as the Mothra Man had picked up her and two other Agents.

"What the....Agents Artemis, Axer, and Dark have been taken by Mothra Man!" shouted Agent Benit as she pointed at the spectacle before her.

"Oh darn....if we use SECRET WEAPON X," said Locke as the music played again, "We could hurt the other Agents with it."

"That's right!" echoed a voice through a megaphone that came out of nowhere.

"Who said that?" asked Agent Benit loudly through the intercom which projected her voice from outside of the ship.

"Why it is I, Mysterious Villian #5 from the Pentagon," said V#5.

"Let go of those Agents!" threatened Agent Benit, "Or I'll....I'll use SECRET WEAPON X!"

The same music played again from out of nowhere as Agent Benit scratched her head. She then looked outside as the other Agents were flailing their arms wildly in the air as Mothra Man held them tightly. Agent Benit gave a nod of agreement to Locke as the thief reached over to the shiny read button. There was tension building in the air as he was almost touching the button and then just stopped right there. Locke stood, frozen in position, as he looked at the red button that he was about to press.

"What're you doing??????" screamed Agent Benit as she swung her arms about, "Press the button already!"

"Sorry," said Locke as he pressed the button, "Just tyring to add some suspense."

Suddenly the ship began to shake violently as the SECRET WEAPON X was uncovered and revealed it's mighty machinery to use against Mothra Man.

"What the spoony IS that?" asked Agent Ekans as he squinted his eyes as he looked towards the sky.

"It looks like...." said Hart but wasn't able to finish.

"A giant speaker?" Domino said quizzically as he looked at the strange device on the flying ship.

After a moment of dramatic pause the speakers began to vibrate. Everyone from a 100 mile radius could hear the sound that was being emmited from the sound device which caused dogs in the general vicinity to howl. Then all the glass ruptured violently as they shattered into millions and millions of tiny fragments. The JBI and Agent Ekans covered their ears as Agent Neener's songs were being transmitted from the speakers.

"Aaaaaaaah!" exclaimed Agent Ekans.

"My freakin ears!!!" shouted Hart as a small trickle of blood was flowing from his ears.

"Make it stop!" Domino yelled as he writhed in agony on the floor.

The Mothra Man was apperently unaffected by SECRET WEAPON X as it continued to flap it's moth like wings and held the Agents in it's grip who were squirming with pain. In the airship Agent Benit and Locke were also unaffected since it had built in sound proof paddings to block the horrible music.

"Ah," said V#5 in a relaxing voice, "Music to my ears....it won't affect me though. Now I must leave you and take these three Agents hostages to add a twist to the plot."

With that the Giant Mothra Man flew away, carrying the 3 Agents who were still within it's mighty grip.

* * *

Benit slammed her fist on the control pad while Locke tensed in anger as they landed the airship near the advancing party. Ekans, Hart and Domino entered the airship.

"Now what?" Ekans asked her.

"Greeeat. Now we don't even know what to do now to save the three of them...." Hart said.

"Quiet you!" Domino barked.

Suddenly, a white light appeared in front of the crew and stopped in the center where the Flight Crystal was. Everyone gasped as it spoke..

Go on to Section 6