Final Pokémon Solid 2

Section 4

"Well, your mom ain't home, it ain't my concern! Don't play with me and you won't get burned! I have only one itchin' desire! Let me stand next to your fire!" The sounds of Jimi Hendrix echoed through Agent Gray Fox's modest Rocket Town home. Gray Fox sat on the couch playing Xenogears.

"Wow, this game is coooooool...," he said. Xenogears was in the process of doing Kishin when the doorbell rang. Gray Fox paused the PlayStation and yelled around the corner.

"Jimi! Quit for a second!" Jimi stopped playing his Fender and began talking with his drummer quietly. Agent Gray Fox answered the door. There was a group of about five respectable looking, well-dressed people outside his door.

"Hi!" a woman said cheerfully. "We're the Jenova's Witnesses! Would you like to learn more about the glory that is Jenova?" Gray Fox blinked in surprise, and looked at the Witnesses quizzically.

"Um...Jenova...?"

"We see you're undecided. Well, here then." A man thrust several brochures into Gray Fox's hand. "Look these over, and we guarantee you'll be worshipping Jenova in no time!"

"Have a nice day! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahah!" another man said.

"Why'd you just laugh after you said that?" Gray Fox asked.

"He has a speech impediment!" a woman said quickly.

"Oh...," Gray Fox said, and he slammed the door. He looked over the brochures. One read 'How You Too Can Worship Aliens' and the other read 'Why Crisis From the Sky is a Misnomer.' He shrugged and was about to toss them over his shoulder when four pieces of paper fell out. He looked at one of them. "Congratulations!' it read. 'You have received four free tickets to Yufrassic Park! See prehistoric creatures as they once lived! Bring three friends! Air fare is free! Enjoy our crass commercial exploitation of nature from your very own five-star hotel!'

"Cool!" Agent Gray Fox said. "I like prehistoric studies!" He picked up the phone, and flipped through the book with his friends' phone numbers, knowing he could only take two besides himself and Jimi. The brochures lay forgotten on the counter...

* * *

*M-I-C-K-E-Y PICK UP THE )*^$^*((% PHONE!!!!! GET THE PHONE, GET THE PHONE...*

The CUSTOMIZED Mickey Mouse telephone rang beside Agent Neener's bed, waking her from her shallow sleep.

Groggily, she reached up and grabbed the telephone.

"Hello?" she croacked, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey, Neener? It's Gray Fox. You feeling okay? You sound like heck."

"Thanks, I feel like crap for your information. All this show business stuff is getting to my poor voice box...."

"Oh...Okay! I was wondering if you'd like to go on a trip with Jimi and me."

"Blagh...?"

"A trip. To a new theme park called Yufrassic Park. Interested?"

"Damn right I am!" Neener cried quickly sitting up. "Patches," she said waking her evil rabbit from Down Below, "Go fetch my stolen-- I mean *BORROWED* fish slippers! I've gotta pack!"

* * *

At the Rocket Town Pokémon gym Phantom Ghost was challenging the mysterious gym leader. He was losing quite badly; his Gengar and Gastly were out for the count and his Haunter was hiding somewhere. All he had left was his Aerodactyl against a Dragonite.

"*sigh* I chose you Areodactyl," said Phantom.

Aerodactyl let out a mighty roar, then it saw the Dragonite it was pitted against. It immediately dropped to the floor and made as if it's wing was broken.

"Oh get up, I can tell you're faking it. I don't like it ether, but we have to do this," said Phantom. Aerodactyl grudgingly nodded and got back in the air.

"OK Aerodactyl, Wing Attack!" Phantom shouted

Aerodactyl let loose with said attack and only made the Dragonite madder.

"Hyper beam," replied the gym leader.

"Dragonite!!" yelled Dragonite as it let off the beam. Aerodactyl never stood a chance.

"Aero!!!" it cryed in pain as it plumeted toward the floor.

"Aerodactyl!" cried Phantom as he dived to catch Aerodactyl. Not necessarily a bright move, but a heartfelt one. Aerodactyl landed on him and broke quite a few bones in his body in the process.

"Owch," replied Phantom, understating the case yet again. "Return, Aerodactyl." Phantom held the approprate Pokéball and Aerodactyl was returned to wherever it is they go in there.

"Good match," said the gym leader, "Let me help you out there." The Gym leader held out a restore materia and Phantom was instantly healed.

"Thanks," he said "Guess I need to practice more. I'll be back again someday!"

"I'm counting on it!" called the Gym leader after him.

Later, after Phantom's Pokémon were healed at the Pokécenter and he was comfortably relaxing at home, the phone rang. He went over to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Phantom? It's Gray Fox."

"Hey. what's up?"

"I just got these tickets to go to Yufrassic park. Wanna come?"

Phantom gave this a moment's thought. "Sure. When do we leave?"

"Just as soon as I get another person to come along," Gray said

"Sounds good to me. See ya soon"

"See ya."

Phantom hung up. This was bound to be interesting, so he started packing for his trip. How little did he know what he was in for!

* * *

As RIA Agent Caesar looked around for the people he was supposed to intercept he started thinking about what would happen if a ball point pen fell on it's side, that is until he saw Gray Fox and friends drive up playing some Jimi Hendrix music.

"Dang Yuppies...." Caesar said as he walked up to the car and pulled out a loaded M-16 which he promptly cocked and aimed at Gray Fox.

"You're coming with me, sir," Caesar said as he pulled out some handcuffs from his pocket.

"Jimi!" Agent Gray Fox yelled. "Do the usual!" Jimi played throught his repertoire and Caesar was blown back into the electric fences.

"Ow...," he said, and birdies appeared around his head.

"I wonder why they have electric fences...?" Neener mused.

"It's all the properties of the chaos theory. Things will go wrong," Agent Phantom said.

"Will you two stop making refs?" Gray Fox asked.

The helicopter had brought them into some Land Rovers, and the cars now pulled up in front of a elaborate looking building. A short man in white stood outside.

"Ah! Agent Gray Fox, paleontologist and Jimi fan! I'm Bob, the owner!" Gray Fox shook his hand uncertainly. Bob raised his hands dramatically. "Welcome to Yufrassic Park!"

"Would you like the tour?" Bob asked.

The Agents nodded.

"Yeah, that would be cool," Agent Neener said.

"Very well!" Bob said, clapping. Get into these custom Humvees!" He led them to a small jeep with big tires.

"Ooh, a Humvee," Agent Phantom said. "Are there any complimentary peanuts?" Bob handed him a bag of honey-roasted peanuts. Agent Phantom proceeded to try to tear it apart with his teeth. They all got into the Humvee and it roared off into the grass. Agent Neneer began to sing cheerfully. As the Humvee roared along, Neener took a leaf off a tree and began to examine it. The Humvee stopped, although she didn't notice it.

"Hey, look, Fox, poison ivy! This plant's been extinct ever since I weed-whacked all of the ones in my lawn!" Gray Fox seemed preoccupied. Neener tugged on his sleeve. "Fox, why aren't you paying attention to me? Fox? Fox! Fox! Fox!" Agent Phantom put a hand on her mouth while

Agent Gray Fox forced her to look up. A deep bellow echoed through the shrubbery.

"Oh my..." murmered Agent Neener, with her head still craned up to the sky. She glanced at Bob. "H-How did you do this?"

Staring with admiration at his creation he spoke quietly. "Let me show you."

Agent Gray Fox followed Bob into the huge compound. A massive sign reading "When Yuffie Ruled the Earth" hung over the entrance. A massive skeleton of a Yuffisaurus Rex stood in the center. As the Agents looked around breathlessly, a small pattering of steps was heard.

"Grandpa!" Two children ran up and hugged Bob. "We missed you!" Agent Phantom nearly choked.

"Dan and Midori...? I never woulda expected...," he whispered to Agent Gray Fox. Fox nodded.

"So, kids, you enjoying my park?"

"Yeah!" Dan said. "It's COOL."

"...," Midori said.

"That's great, kids! Look around the Visitor's Center awhile, I have to show these people around." Dan and Midori nodded and scampered off.

Agent Gray Fox stood above a huge cage surrounded by high electric fencing. A few sounds could be heard through the dense foliage.

"What's in here?" Agent Neneer asked. Bob was about to say something when another voice broke in.

"They should all be destroyed!" The Agents whirled around. They were surprised to see Ramsus, complete with safari gear.

"Hey, nanomachine boy! How'd you get here?" Agent Gray Fox asked.

"Hyuga said I needed to get away from it all, so I got a job as a park ranger here."

"Hey, nobody answered by question! What's in here?"

"Yuffiraptors. Pack hunters. High jumpers too. They enjoy testing the fence for weaknesses lately. We can't keep them contained for much longer."

"...You-you bred...raptors?" Agent Gray Fox asked.

"Not raptors!" Bob interjected. "Yuffiraptors!"

"Is there really a difference?" Agent Phantom asked.

"Well, they're mean things," Ramsus said. Suddenly, a speeding projectile hurtled from the sky and landed in the pen. Agent Aya got up and dusted herself off.

"Whew, that was a close one," she said. "It's lucky that I landed on this soft bush."

"Oh no…," Agent Neener said. There was a low growl from the thick trees, and suddenly a multitude of speedy creatures leapt at Agent Aya.

"Life sucks," she said miserably before the Yuffiraptors tore her apart.

"...," Agent Fox said.

"...," Agent Neneer said.

"...," Agent Phantom said.

"...," Ramsus said.

"Ooh, it's ready! Let's eat!" Bob said.

* * *

A man placed the plates of food in front of the Agents, who were sitting at a table inside the Visitor's Center.

"I tell you, this steak the is the best," Bob said.

"I think I'll have a salad," all three Agents said simultaneously. Jimi remained silent as he did not need to eat.

"Oh, okay," Bob said. He snapped his fingers. "Ricardo! Get these people some salads!" Rico muttered something obscene in Spanish under his breath and stalked into the kitchen.

"So, what do you think about the park?" Bob asked.

"Uh...," Agent Gray Fox said. "It's...interesting...."

"Yeah...," Agent Neener said. "Very interesting." Agent Phantom nodded.

"What I'm wondering is how you do this...and why Yuffie? How'd Yuffie get into this? We defeated her!" Fox said.

"Well, Agent Gray Fox, I'll show you." They walked out of the dining room just as Rico came back with several salad bowls. Seeing nobody there, he tossed them on the ground and went in search of someone to beat up.

The Agents sat down in front of a massive screen. Immediately, a cute cartoon DNA strand popped up on the screen.

"Hi, I'm Yuffie DNA! Do you want to know how I helped create Yuffisaurs?" it asked.

"Yeah yeah!" Agent Neener said, chowing down on some popcorn.

"Alright," the DNA said. "I'll show you!" Agent Phantom clapped enthusiastically.

"As you know, millions of years ago there were dinosaurs," the DNA said in a Southern voice. "Well, sometimes mosquitoes sucked the blood out of these dinosaurs. And, so, sometimes the skeeters get caught in amber, fossilized tree sap, and we find them millions of years later.

What we're trying to do is combine the dino DNA with that of Yuffie Kisaragi to form the ultimate tourist attraction/freak show. We're being funded by a top secret organization known as the...." DNA cut off as Bob fast-forwarded the tape a little bit. DNA reappeared. "So, we successfully merged the two. But, of course, there were holes in the DNA strand. So, we filled the gaps with fresh Jenova cells, and voila! A baby Yuffisaur!" A cute little dino hatched from an egg on screen and quickly mutated into a gargantuan Yuffie-faced beast.

"Eeew," Agent Neener said. Abruptly, the seats started to move and brought the Agents before a room with dozens of people scurrying about amidst advanced machinery.

"Can we get off this thing?" Agent Phantom asked. Jimi nodded and played a few soft riffs on his fender.

"Well, no, it's a ride," Bob said.

"If you don't stop this ride, we'll have Agent Neener start singing...," Agent Gray Fox said.

"NO!!!! Anything but that!" Bob said, and the ride stopped.

"What's so bad about my singing? I'm a good singer," Neener said.

"Never mind," Gray Fox said with a sigh.

"Fei!" Bob yelled. A man with a ponytail looked up from a large incubated nest of eggs. "Agents, meet my assistant and head scientist Fei Fong Wong." All of the Agents shook his hand.

"We have an egg hatching right now, and then I have to leave," Fei said.

"Hatching?" Bob asked. "Why didn't you tell me?" An egg shook and a small head burst out. Bob helped the creature out of the shell. Agent Gray Fox picked it up.

"Awww, it likes you, Fox," Agent Neener said.

"What species is it?" Fox asked.

"Oh, it's, um, a Yuffiraptor," Fei said.

"You're making more raptors?"

Fei nodded silently.

"Why in the world are you breading more Yuffiraptors?" Trainer Phantom Ghost asked, "I mean as sick as it is to think about it, they can reproduce, right?"

"Not quite," replied Fei, "although we're not exactly certain what sex they are, we do know that they are not male or female."

"What, is that a natural occurance?" asked Agent Gray Fox.

"As far as we know," answered Bob, who was feeling left out for some odd reason, "At least, we've never seen any young among them that we haven't placed there ourselves."

"Huh. Well be careful, nature will find a way," Trainer Phantom said only to find that he needed to dodge several flying objects hurled his way rather quickly.

"That did not need to be said," Bob sternly answered. "Now would you like to finish your meal?"

"Hey, I am kind of hungry. Sure, let's go!" said Agent Neener.

"Why not? We can discuss this more over dinner," said Agent Gray Fox.

"Yeah. Let's eat!" Trainer Phantom agreed. Jimi was silent and sweating, but he still didn't seem to mind.

So Bob and the Agents returned to the dinner table, only to find the mess the chef had made. Bob made a few quick calls and the Agents finally got dinner.

After dinner Bob offered to give a tour of the park.

"You bet!" Agent Gray Fox shouted.

"Owww, no need to shout Fox, we're right here," Agent Neener complained.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit excited to actually see the main park," Agent Gray Fox replied

"Alright then! Let's go!" Bob exclaimed and the Agents, Jimi and Bob pilled into the jeeps and drove off into Yuffrasic Park.

* * *

The jeeps were sure taking their sweet old time getting to the main enterance of the park. On the ride over (which was much longer than you might think), Agent Gray Fox and Trainer Phantom Ghost put headphones on to listen to their own respecive music. Agent Neener was listening to one of her own recordings and singing (well it's wasn't really singing, but for lack of a better term we'll use that) along, and Jimi was making up a cool theme song for FPS on his fender. Bob was just rambling on about random things than the Agents/trainer/musician got bored with long ago.

Phantom sighed as his CD came to an end. "Well, that's the end of Wagner's Ring cycle. Let's see, what else do I have...."

Gray was quietly jamming along with his recordings of Jimi as Phantom was frantincly looking though his CD's to escape Bob's incoherant babbling and Agent Neener's 'singing'. He almost missed Bob tell them that they were there.

"We're here!" exclamed Bob.

"Hey!" Trainer Phantom shouted, mostly so he could be heard above Agent Neener's 'singing', "can't you read? The paragraph above just said that!"

"Oh. So it did. My bad."

"You know I'd think about moving the visitor center closer to the entrance," Agent Gray Fox pointed out.

"We did, but the staff kept disappearing," Bob explained.

"Oh."

The jeeps came up to a large wooden (or at least it looked wooden) double doorway flanked by large tiki tourches. Across the top read "Yuffrasic Park". As the jeeps came closer they opened up, rather solomnly and impressively.

"How Spielburgian!" the agents exclaimed as the doors opened and the jeeps went underneath.

"Hey, does anyone know why we have two jeeps?" Trainer Phantom asked.

"Simple, Bob, Jimi, you and I as well as the driver are in this one. Neener and Bob's grandkids are in the other with their driver," Agent Gray Fox explained.

"Poor kids," Trainer Phantom said as he heard Neener start a rousing chourus of "This is the song that never ends"

"Actually Neener is one of their favorite singers," Bob explained, rather confused about it himself. In the other jeep you could hear the kids join in, albeit singing better then Neener, but still pretty bad since they were so loud.

"Huh. Well, where's the first stop on our little tour?" Trainer Phantom asked

"The Triyuffietops. They're about an hour away."

"Great," mumbled Gray as he sank into his seat and turned his CD player back on.

"Meanwhile why don't I tell you the DNA code of them. AG..." Bob started on the long list of DNA components. Phantom frantincly looked for something better to put in his CD player, finally coming up with 'Rocket Town's Greatest Hits', with 90% of the songs by the Junj Bragade, 10% miscellaneous. He sighed contentedly as he popped it in and the familliar strains of Cid's Theme, albeit remixed to death, washed over him.

3 hours later and still no Triyuffietops.

"I thought you said they were only an hour away!" Trainer Phantom exclaimed, rather pi(censored)ed off at Bob.

"I could have sworn they were just over there..." Bob mumbled, pointing in some vauge direction.

"OK, just stop the jeep over there at Starbucks so we can get our bearings."

Trainer Phantom was fed up with Bob and being in this jeep for so long. Agent Gray Fox just had that look that simply said "I wonder if I ought to tell Jimi to do his repituar" Jimi was still in the process of making a cool FPS theme song, and Neener and the kids were 'singing' up a storm. Literally. It started thundering an hour ago in what seemed to be an attempt by the Planet to shut them up.

"There's no... Starbucks.... there...." Bob began to protest but he gave it up as the Starbucks came into view. "I don't remember putting one in the park," he tried to defend himself.

"Come on, lets go get something to drink and figure out where the spoony we are," Agent Gray Fox said, practically leaping out of the jeep to stretch. Unfortunately, the long hours and leather seats had a different idea.

"Hey, I'm stuck!" he exclaimed, frantically pulling his legs up, to some avail. And to some pain. Trainer Phantom, Bob and Jimi, slowly got up, detaching themselves carefuly and got out relativly unhurt. Agent Gray got out, but only after pulling a Cid or two. Neener's jeep was simply smart enough not to attach itself to them in the first place in hopes of getting rid of the awufl singing that much quicker. So after the Agents, Trainer and musician/summon got into the Starbucks they started to discuss what they were to do.

"I know!" the drivers piped up, "We gotta... drive! We know a shortcut, it'll take maybe 5 min to get to the Triyuffietops."

Bob's jaw dropped. "Why didn't you tell me!?" he said.

"You wouldn't let us!"

"Well if you're so smart them YOU pick the roadform now on!" Bob said, pouting.

"Woo hoo!" Agent Fox exclaimed, "Lead on, but let's chill here for a while. We need to be up and about after that mindless wandering."

"Agreed. Let's just mosey around and get back in shape," Trainer Phantom said.

The rest agreed and they all moseyed around, enjoying the fact that they didn't have to sit down.

* * *

"Hey boss," said Villain #4, "I think we might have a bit of trouble in our hands."

"What is that #4?" asked the boss, Villian #1.

"Well, seems that some 3 Agents of sorts are in Yuffrassic Park....they can be quite a nuisance," stated V#4.

"Is that all?" asked V#1.

"Not exactly," said V#4 and let out a nervous chuckle, "Heh...well, there's some more Agents that are trying to ressurect the Hostess company. Seems that one of them was displeased at the fact that we took away his food product and hence has tried to figure out a way to revive the company. We also believe that one other Agent, along with a thief, are trying to bring back the Hostess company also."

"And....?" asked the boss.

"Two Agents are heading this way, sir, we believe that they WILL be a threat if they actually get to the Pentagon," said V#4

"What else is there to report?" the boss asked again this time with a bit of annoyance in his voice.

"Um.....the Jenova Witnessess aren't doing as well as we hoped they would," reported V#4 as an signature anime sweat drop appeared.

"But the vector...?" asked the villian #1.

"The vector, of course.....Agent Gray Fox has been infected by Fox Die and should be spreading the virus about." said Villian #4

"Good," said V#1 and swivled on his chair, "At least THAT one is successful."

"So...what should we do about these Agents?" asked V#4.

V#1 gave a thoughtful hum, sat down on a chair, and then contemplated on the whole situation. Then the villian turned around 360 degrees on the chair then stopped as an idea was formulated in his head.

"Release the generic minions who will have to do battle with all the Agents but then eventually get defeated at the end. Then after those minions have been destroyed keep sending out minions again and again and again." said Villian #1.

"You don't mean...." said Villian #4 but didn't have enough courage to say it.

"Yes," said Villian #1 and then leaned forward towards villian #4, "Release the robotic Moth Men!!"

Go on to Section 5