Final Pokémon Solid 2

Section 3

Agent Musika opened his mailbox. There was one letter inside.

"Yes!!!!!" he screamed. This was indeed the first piece of mail he had recieved in over seven months. You don't get mail that often in Corel Prison. He read who it was from.

"YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON 191,883 DOLLARS!!"

He instantly tucked the letter in his coat, seeing the blatant reference to Shivers II. He had the feeling that whomever whas writing this will be putting in many more refs that no one will understand... He went back into the semi trailer, and ordered his thugs outside. He then opened the letter.

"Dear Agent Musika,

We'd like to congratulate you for the mission you just successsfully [sic] completed. We'd like to inform you that, due to the need for added references, you are to be renamed Agent Erdrick. Your new assignment is to be the mayor of Gongaga Village. When you are there, you will recieve further information. This letter will self-destruct in ten seconds. Thank you for your time.

The Management"

Wondering how 'The Management' knew when ten seconds after he finished reading would be, he crumpled up the message, and threw it out of the open door. He then called his thugs back in, and ordered them to shut the door.

From up in the sky, a small small dot was growing in size. It eventually took on a humanoid form, and, after a minute, was recognizable as Agent Aya. She landed in Corel Prison, breaking most of her favorite bones in the process. She rolled onto her back, and then winced as a small piece of paper landed on her face. She opened it up, and read the contents.

"It just doesn't st..."

And she was on her way to somewhere else.

* * *

After a few days of tiresome walking, Agent Erdrick arrived in Gongaga, only to see some Jenova Witnesses harrassing the residents of his new town.

"So, if you'll just take these pamphlets..."

"Have you seen Zack? He left to become a member of SOLDIER..."

"... then you'll understand the joys of a live lived for JENOVA..."

"Have you seen Zack? He left to become a member of SOLDIER..."

Agent Erdrick walked over to the annoyance, and said, "Don't you say anything else?"

The elderly woman looked at him, and said, "Have you seen Zack? He left to become a member of SOLDIER..."

In the meantime, all of the Jenova's Witnesses had choked themselves with their pamphlets. Agent Erdrick sighed, cleaned the mess up, and went into his hut.

No sooner had he walked in the door, than the phone started to ring. Agent Erdrick picked it up.

"Hello, Agent Erdrick speaking."

"I am your informant, to give you your new assignment. You are to recieve a new weapon and limit break, and discontinue use of your old ones. You will find everything you need to get into the story in the back of the Da-chao cave. Be very careful, for there are many traps in the cave. You will only recieve your limit break at this time. It shall be called 'The Ancient Warrior'. Your clothing and weapons will be transformed into accessories which all have the same name, and then you will have those items until you use the limit again."

"Sounds Okay, what is the 'name' that they will have in common?"

The voice paused, "We don't know. It's random everytime. Do you have any other questions?"

"Yeah. Who are you people, and why won't you meet me in person?"

The other side clicked off.

Agent Erdrick looked at the phone, and said, "What? Geez..." He then gathered what he had, and left for the Wutai Island.

* * *

Agent 007-Blues walked into the laboratory looking glumly at the ground, kicking his feet.

"Hello, Sir," said Agent 007-Blues

"Oh..Blues...what are you doing here?!?!? Can't you see im busy!!" Bob yelled

"Ss-sorry ss-ir, I was just handing in my resignation..." Agent 007-Blues said hiding behind a chair..

"Oh...ok, now get the hell outta here!!" Bob replied

"Blues!!" Agent Gray Fox exclaimed

"What are you doing here?"

"I was working for Bob but he fired me...He caught me playing his copy of Goldeen Eye I stole from his room...and he caught me chopping food up with my Sceptre...I was the master chef here...I tried a stack of jobs and this is where I ended up..." Agent Blues said, trailing off.

"Well, what are you gonna do now?" Agent Neener asked.

"I got asked back my job as a Agent by some big wig...he didn't even give me his name...he just told me to meet him at Wutai...and he would give me instructions there..." Agent 007-Blues replied

"Well, I'll be going...I might catch up with you guys again sometime..."

Agent 007-Blues walked out of the room

* * *

Agent Erdrick was climbing up the side of the Da-chao mountain, in an effort to reach the cave. About halfway up, he heard somebody following him. He crept onto a wide enough ledge, and waited silently for his follower. When the other figure got close enough, he looked directly at Agent Erdrick, and said, "Hey, Agent Musika! Why aren't you taking the path, like everyone else?"

Agent Erdrick then realized that the figure on the path was none other than 007-Blues. He climbed over to the path, and quickly thought of an excuse, "Um... I haven't been getting enough exersise, so I thought I'd take the hard way. And my assignment's changed, so I'm Agent Erdrick now. What are you doing here?"

"I was hired by an unnamed source, and they sent me here, as a way to join a pre-existing sub-plot."

"I guess that would be me, then. I was instructed to go into the Da-chao cave, and retrieve what was in the back."

"Right. Let's go."

So the stalwart duo continued on to the cave, and when they entered, they were surprised to find a group of Moth Men waiting for them. It was then that Agent Erdrick realized that he did not have a weapon yet.

"007! You have to take them yourself! I havn't been issued a new weapon yet!" He then ran and hid in the corner. 007-Blues readied himself for battle as the Moth Men closed in.

***interrupt transmission***

A rather bruised Censor appears on the screen.

"I'm sorry, but I simply cannot allow this kind of gratuitous violence on this show! This is far too much!" Just then, a toilet dropped on her head. The camera angles up, only to see Ultros, happy that he finally managed to drop something on somebody.

***cease interruption***

Agent Erdrick came out of his corner, and went to a wounded 007-Blues. "Are you alright? Will you survive? SPEAK TO ME!!!!"

Blues leaned up and said, "I'm not dead."

Agent Erdrick blinked, "Oh. Hey what are these? Jenova's Witnesses pamphlets? What good ARE these anyway?"

Blues looked through one, and said, "It may help you get to the back of the cave..."

"Right. Well, you rest up. I'm off."

"TTFN!"

Agent Erdrick began walking down a narrow corridor, which had spider webs everywhere. He began looking through it. The first title was: JENOVA IS EVERYWHERE. Thinking about this, Agent Erdrick finally realized the signifigance. Blades started coming out of the walls everywhere.

"Spoony!"

He ran, before they could catch up to him, and did not see what was in the next room. His foot hit the letter I on the grid of letters on the floor, and sank through. "Double spoony!" He climbed up, and looked at the next heading: SPELLING JENOVA IS THE FIRST STEP TO ENLIGHTENMENT.

Looking at the grid, he began to step on the letter J, when he heard 007-Blues's voice coming down the hallway, "JENOVA starts with an I... No, wait. It's a J, there was a smudge on the pamphlet!" So spelling out JENOVA, he crossed the grid.

The next room was a chasm that seemed to go down forever. He read the next heading: JUMP ACROSS YOU IDIOT, IT'S ONLY 3 FEET WIDE!! Taking this into acount, he jumped, and, sure enough, landed on the other side, in the inner chamber.

Agent Erdrick slowly stepped into the back room of the Da-chao cave. Inside was a series of doors, labeled numerically. And at the end of the long hallway... was Wink Martindale.

"Hello, and welcome to 'Let's Make a Deal'!" Canned applause filled the spatious room. "Behind one of these 250 doors lies what will be your weapon for the rest of your mission! WHAT WILL IT BE?? Make your decision, but make it a wise one!"

Agent Erdrick was amazed at this. How did they get all of this in here? The mountain didn't look this big on the outside... At any rate, he studied the doors carefully, and decided on the door that seemed to be the one he should choose.

He was about to anounce his decision, when 007-Blues came barreling into the room. "Wow, doors! I wanna open... That one!" He pointed to the door that Agent Erdrick had decided on. Wink smiled and said, "Ok! Lets see what you picked!" The door opened, and inside was a small table with a small piece of paper on it. "You won a trip to Costa Del Sol!" 007-Blues jumped up and down, while Agent Erdrick wondered how he could have used that as a weapon.

He looked at the doors, and made a second decsion, which he finally announced. Once again, Wink smiled, and said, "Door 150? Well, let's see what you didn't choose!" The doors opened, and behind every one was a full arsenal of combat weapons, from fully automatic shotguns to railguns. "Well, you didn't get any of that, so let's see what you picked!" Door 150 opened, to reveal... a sqirt gun full of lemon juice, and a sturdy piece of paper. Wink grimaced, "Oh, I'm sorry. You chose poorly! Well, better luck next time! By the way, the mysteriously unnamed corporation wanted me to give you this envelope. Here ya go."

Agent Erdrick took the envelope, and looked at the front to the envelope, just to see if it would give them a hint as to who had hired them. It was labeled YOUR MISSION, yet, it had a return address. It was from 'The Myteriously Unnamed Corporation, makers of the finest ambiguity you can get the general location of!'

Finding nothing else to do, Agent Erdrick opened the letter, and read it's contents.

'To you I would be giving greetings! Mission of yours are I introducing to you into plot at this time! Unnamed are those who name themselves 'Pentagon'. Mission tat is yours is naming the unnamed nameless ones from fantasy tat is final genre. This's the way! Message imploding is good to be knowledgeable about! Hurry up! Seconds left number ten!

-Daravon '

So, Agent Erdrick and 007-Blues had their mission, and they had no idea what they were supposed to do.

* * *

Agent CAM wearily brushed some of his brown hair from his face, and looked through his binoculars at the lone Epoch sitting outside of Chrono's house.

He has tried 27 times to steal it, but each time ended in failure. Though it only recently dawned on him that the bus who travelled to 1000 AD had the ability to travel back in time, but unfortunately Agent CAM did not have the resources to find it again. Much less the change.

Agent CAM's head throbbed from nights without sleep and twinkie withdrawal. He withdrew a thermos of Shera's Ultimate Tea from his backpack, and swilled all of its contents. It was good, but just wasn't the same without a twinkie on the side. Agent CAM looked through the binoculars once more, and found his chance. The coast was clear.

Agent CAM ran as fast as his tired feet could carry him to the vessel. He hopped into its cockpit, and started on his work of hotwiring it. Suddenly, Agent CAM's pager began to beep. To avoid getting caught, he chucked the device into the bushes without even looking at it. That's when Agent CAM's shoe phone rang, he untied his shoe and answered it.

"Hello, Agent CAM?" Agent Gray Fox said over the line, "It's full. You can't come with me to Yufrassic Park."

"Ok," Agent CAM replied, "but this is a really bad time to be calling me." Agent CAM hung up his shoe phone, but it rang once more. "What now!" Agent CAM answered.

"Hey sucka," Mr. T replied from the other side of the line, "I just wanted to say I found A-Team again, and..."

"This really isn't a good time right now, T," CAM said, and then, hung up the shoe phone, and turned off its ringer. The slight clicking of turning off the ringer came to Ayla's ears.

"Ayla strong!" she replied, "Ayla smash puny CAM man!"

"Oh, crap...." CAM stated as Ayla picked him up, and chucked him with all of her might. CAM quickly soared out of sight.

* * *

Agent CAM awoke as the sun of the desert washed over him. He stood up and brushed the sand from his clothing. Agent CAM pulled out a compass, but soon found out one cannot find where they are with just a compass.

Something grabbed Agent CAM by his leg; quicksand. Agent CAM's first response was to panic, and then was to pull his foot out of the quicksand. All it got was his shoe... actually, his shoe phone. He couldn't fish it out, so Agent CAM trudged on.

Agent CAM suddenly walked directly into a brick wall, and then looked up and saw it was none other than Castle Figaro. Suddenly an Idea sparked in Agent CAM's head. All he needed to steal was the Epoch and bigger, badder weaponry. Agent CAM knew just where to get it. He headed for South Figaro.

Since Agent CAM was now going to preform a one man inflitration mission he decided to change his handle to Solid CAM for added reference reasons. Solid CAM walked down the streets of South Figaro searching for twinkies, but finally decides they have not been invented yet. Solid CAM had no choice but to get his bigger "weaponry" in order to steal the Epoch for his own greedy reasons. But how was Solid CAM going to steal Edgar's tool command? Then it hit him, hit like a nail bat to the back of the head, which he has felt so many times from hitting on Tifa.

Solid CAM casually snuck over to the lone suit of Magitek Armor that stood in the middle of South Figaro after the Empire was taken out for some strange reason. He jumped into the cockpit and hotwired it. Solid CAM gripped the controls of the Magitek as it roared to life.

"Ok, now what do I do?" Solid CAM said to himself, "Well, if Cyan can operate one of these, I can too."

Solid CAM fidelled with the buttons until the looming Magitek made some sort of reaction; it immediately ran over and start kicking the rich man's house.

"No!" Solid CAM yelled, "Bad Magitek Armor, very bad!" The Magitek Armor promtly sent 10,000 volts of electricity through Solid CAM.

"Ouchies!"

* * *

Mr.T, Alys, D, and Agent 1469 were sitting in Mr.T's 1982 GMC Custom Van while he drove to their new destination, the Pentagon. Mr.T slammed down his PHS after trying to reach Agent CAM with no success.

"Ok, guys, you know what were gonna do. Since we don't know any information yet, we gotta find some," Mr.T announced, "Ok, Agent 1469, you go spy and sneak through files, while D, Alys, and I beat people up until we get some infomation."

"Right," everyone agreed, except D and 1469 who just kinda nodded.

Suddenly something hit Mr.T's van.

"What the?" Mr.T exclaimed, "I pity the foo' that hit my van!"

A-Team exited the van and were attacked by five mechanical Moth Men. Mr.T and Agent 1469 took their battle stances, Alys drew her Moon Slashers from their thigh sheaths and unfolded them to masamune size, and D drew his masamune sized katana from its back sheath. The fight had begun.

D immediatly began by backflipping to the top of the T Van, and leapt forward in a mighty bound. D brought his blade down, and seperated the Moth Man's upper torso from the lower.

"Vortex!" Alys said as she let fly her slashers which whirled around the Moth Men into a cyclone that tore it to shreds. Alys casually caught the slashers as they returned.

Agent1469 simply let the light reflect off his bald head creating a beam of light that short curcuited a Moth Man. Mr.T grabbed one of the moth men and tossed its ass into another Moth Man, dispatching the rest of them.

"Hmm, those suckas must be hiding something," Mr.T said, "Let's go, team!"

* * *

It was a bright, sunny day at Costa del Sol, without a Cloud in the sky. Becuse he was asleep. In his summer home. But that has nothing to do with this story.

Agent Erdrick and 007-Blues were having a great time on the beach, because they had nothing else to do, since they couldn't understand the mission instructions. Agent Erdrick was heading back to the inn after a bout of body surfing, making a mental note not to be the surfboard next time, when who should he see, but...

"Daravon?!?"

The man looked up, "Yes, my boy. How may I be of service to you?"

Agent Erdrick was taken aback. "Wha... Are you sure you're Daravon? The Final Fantasy Tactics Daravon??"

Daravon smiled, "Yes, lad. You didn't actually believe that's the way I really spoke, did you?"

Agent Erdrick dumbly nodded. "You see, that's my public voice. I'm paid to spout nonsense. But I'm on vacation now, so I don't have to do that. Pina Colada?"

Agent Erdrick was in a state of shock. "Uh... no thank you... Say, could you, by any chance, translate some Daravonese for me? I mean, you ARE the expert..."

Daravon sighed, "And I was SO hoping to stay away from it for my vacation... very well, I'll have a look." Agent Erdrick handed the mission paper over. "Hmm... ah! I see. It translates to: Hello, Your mission is to reveal the identities of the five villans of the Pentagon. This message will self destruct in 10 seconds. Daravon."

He did a small double take, "Funny, I don't remember writing this."

Agent Erdrick took the message, and quickly threw it away, before it blew up. Then, he said, "Well, thanks for the help. I'll try to find out who was impersonating you, as I go. And don't worry, your secret's safe with me!" Agent Erdrick then continued his walk to the inn, where 007-Blues was having a siesta. Agent Erdrick woke him, and said, "You're not going to believe this..." He told him Daravon's translation....

"We have to what?" Agent 007-Blues said.

"You heard! We have to unmask the 5 villians of the Pentagon," Agent Erdrick replied.

"Pfft, you woke me from my siesta to tell me that? I need to have my siesta now, I won't have time for it later!!" Agent 007-Blues complained.

"Well, yes...But we have to get on with the story, y'know...we can't keep saying Agent 007-Blues was having his siesta...we have to move on."

Agent 007-Blues thought about this for a minute.

"Well, I guess you're right...Let's go!!" nodded 007-Blues.

"But do we even know where the Pentagon is?"

* * *

Solid CAM plowed through the cave just north of South Figaro to the familiar recovery spring where that cute little turtle swam.

"Here, little turtle," Solid CAM whispered, "I got some yummy food for you." This was of course a lie, because if Solid CAM had any yummy food he would have eaten it by now. Still, the stupid animal swam in front of the secret entrance to Castle Figaro. Solid CAM made a mighty bound and landed directly on the turtle crushing it to dust, Solid CAM then waded through the water to the other side.

Solid CAM attempted to trek through the tunnels silently, but his Magitek Armor had a different idea. Instead it decided to plow through through every wall, stomp on every monster, and fire Tek Missles to cover its tracks. Solid CAM was beginning to realize why no one else wanted this armor.

Meanwhile, inside of Castle Figaro's prison. The lone lavishly dressed guard stood silently armed with a halberd.

"Nothing interesting happens around here," the guard muttered. Solid CAM crashed through the wall riding his Magitek Armor, then walked up the stairs.

"Nothing interesting ever happens around here," the guard sighed again.

"Take this, you Tool Command stealing bard!" Edgar yelled as he charged Solid CAM with Excalibur. Solid CAM tried to make haste, but his Magitek Armor refused, having an idea of its own. The renegade armor simply kicked the angry king away.

"Don't worry, I'll kick his sorry self, big bro," Sabin said as he fired an Aurabolt at Solid CAM. Solid CAM quickly ducked his head, and the blitz only grazed Solid CAM's hair.

"My hair!" Solid CAM screamed, "Nobody messes with my hair!" Solid CAM fired 200 consecutive Tek Missles and Auto Crossbow Bolts at the royal duo, blowing them away. Solid CAM used this distraction to get away.

"Not so fast!" a femniine voice called from behind.

Solid CAM quickly turned around to face Terra. Her eyes narrowed and her only words were "Atomic Edge!" Solid CAM screamed in the kind a way a little girl does, and runs for his life as a disgruntled Odin chased him on horseback. Solid CAM made a sharp turn at a end of one of the hallways, causing him to fly into Umaro and sliced him up into little bits.

".....I'll kill you for that," Gogo said, "Mimic!"

Odin flew down and sliced Gogo up.

"Heh, he mimiced Umaro's death," Solid CAM chuckled.

"Ultima!" Terra casted.

"Cccrrrrraaaapppp!!!!" Solid CAM screamed as he was blown out of Castle Figaro by an eerie blue energy blast. Fortunately, a nearby outhouse broke Solid CAM's fall, but something crawled out of the pile of rubble. A blonde woman, dressed in green.

"Oh my God! I killed Celes!" Solid CAM screamed, "No, wait, she's still breathing." Solid CAM's Magitek Armor picked up the limp general and made its escape.

* * *

Celes gained consiousness and found herself in an inn bed. At the other end of the room was a peculiar man riding a suit of Magitek Armor... indoors, of all places.

"So you're awake?" the man asked.

"Yes," Celes replied, "The last thing I remember is accidentally locking myself in that outhouse and then a large object landed on me."

"Uh, yes, it was, um, Meteor," the man said, "Yeah, that's right, Meteor."

"I didn't catch your name," Celes mentioned.

"Because I never told you," the man replied, "The name's Agent CAM, the official freeloader of Rocket Town."

"Oh," Celes replied pretending to know who he was.

"I'm heading out tommorrow," Agent CAM said, "You can come if you want."

"Why are you letting me go with you?" Celes asked, "Or even save me in the first place?"

"Because you remind me of someone I once knew," Agent CAM said, even though it was a complete lie.

Agent CAM looked through his pair of binoculars at the lone Epoch in the middle of town. Agent CAM was prepared this time. He charged at the time machine as fast as possible with Celes clinging on to CAM's renegade Magitek Armor for dear life. The Agent leapt into the cockpit of the Epoch, hotwrired it, and flew away.

"Come back with my time machine, you bard!" Crono yelled as he rushed out of his house to catch the time machine thief.

"I'll put an end to this," Magus said as the wind blew his cape. Magus took flight in the sky as his cool theme music played. Agent CAM panicked.

"AHHHHHHH! There's a cool RPG character on our tail!" Agent CAM screamed, "We're all gonna die!"

* * *

Alys remembered her orders quite well as she walked down one of the Pentagon's many corridors. They were to find as much they could with minimal casualties... in other words, no one from A-Team dies. Mr.T was supposed to investigate the executives, Alys the Weapons Department, D the Biological Research Lab, and Agent 1469 the Security System.

Alys looked up to see a door labelled "Weapons Research Facility."

"I assume this is the weapons department," Alys said as she reached for the door knob and turned. "Damn, it's locked." She then examined her white gloves. "And not very clean, either." She discarded the dirty gloves, and replaced them, since in truth, she was a neat freak.

She withdrew a the laptop, Demi2, from her pack. It was named after the android she dismantled to obtain the CPU and its weapon system. Alys' eyes narrowed as she looked at the card key lock, and then hooked Demi2 up to it. Alys typed in the omni-code for unlocking doors.

"Impossible!" the Demi2 blared almost blowing Alys' cover. After a few swift kicks the stubborn android CPU unlocked the door, Alys quickly collected Demi2 and went through before the door relocked. The room was filled with complete darkness. Alys drew one of her Moon Slashers. "Moonglow!" The Slasher flared with moonlight, illuminating the room long enough for Alys to find the light switch. A small light bulb flickered overhead.

"Spoony scientists......" Alys muttered under her breath. The entire facility looked like the innards of a space ship from a Sci-fi flick, or your average Geological Control Center from the PS series. The Eight Stroke Hunter walked without encounter over to the master computer of the Weapons Research Facility. Alys took no time to connect Demi2 with it.

"This is not only a Weapons Research Facility and factory. Its also a Geological Control Center. Demi2! Download all of their information and then upload a virus into their system."

"Impossible!" replied the stubborn robot CPU. Alys glanced at it, and the machine replied, "Ok, ok, it is possible." The word "Downloading" appeared on the screen and a small bar below filling up rather slowly.

"Can't you go any faster, dangit!" Alys barked at the Demi2.

"Impos-" Demi2 replied, but then stopped after seeing Alys raising her Moonslasher above her head.

"50%!" Alys murmered, "Is that the best you can do!?" She turned around to face five mechanical Moth Men surrounding her.

"This is just one of those days," the Hunter sighed as she drew her Moonslashers. With a swift flick of the wrist, she unfolded them and sent them flying in an arc slashing through all five mechanical Moth Men. Alys looked over her shoulder to check Demi2's progress, which was now 95%

"Blood Fest!" cried the voice of a Yuffie-clone as it ambushed Alys as she caught her Moonslashers. The clone's limit battered the unknowing Hunter, knocking her to the ground. Alys sipped a Moon Dew from its flask healing her battle wounds, and stood back up to face her oponent. Alys replied by throwing her Moonslashers which was knocked out of the air by the Yuffie-clone's Conformer.

"Fire3!" the Yuffie clone shot a stream of fire at Alys, which was blocked by a Deban.

"Downloading complete," Demi2 announced,"Now uploading virus."

"Megid!" Alys anger and rage is transformed into elemental fire that she blasts the Yuffie-clone with. Whilst the clone was stunned, Alys threw her Moonslashers, again pinning the beast against the wall. Alys picked up the fallen Conformer and raised it above her head.

"Yes, Alys," the voice said, "Kill her. Using that weapon is in your blood." Alys turned around to face the voice which was Villian #5. "You know, my dear Alys, that the real Alys Brangwin died years ago."

"Like bloody hell," Alys replied.

"Oh, but of course," Villian #5 said as he cancelled Demi2's upload, "You're just a clone of the original Alys."

* * *

Agent 1469 looked down the adjacent corridor to spot out big dangers since he wasn't the most powerful person on A-Team. All that was in the corridor was a man wearing a white labcoat coming out of the Security Systems office. Agent 1469 approached the man.

"Hello," Agent 1469 signed, "Could I borrow the card key to the Security System office so I could 'fix' them."

"Uh, I don't speak sign language," the man in the lab coat said. Agent 1469 promptly headbutted the man unconcious, took his card key, and opened the door. Agent 1469 stepped into Security Systems office, and was promptly attacked by two mechanical Moth Men.

Agent 1469 swiftly drew his shotgun and blasted the two Moth Men. Parts flew everywhere, and Agent 1469 stood victorious. Agent 1469 quickly raced to the main computer, and typed in the omni-code for shutting down computer systems. Before he could hit enter, Yuffiesaurus Rex busted in.

"What the hell?" Agent1469 signed, "I thought Yuffiesaurs where only in Yuffrasic Park."

Agent1469 pulled out a small Pokeball. "Bahamut, go!" Agent1469 signed, releasing Bahamut. "Bahumut Sunflare!" Bahamut withdrew and collected energy around its mouth. Bahamut then released it's power and blasted the Y-Rex. Agent1469 used the distraction to shut down the security system.

"Bahamut, return!" Agent1469 signed as he escaped down a air duct.

* * *

Vampire Hunter D strood down the corridor he was assigned to by Mr.T. The things he'd do for 10,000 mesata... but D wasn't sure that any shops accept mesata around here anyway. D found the door labelled Biological Research Facility. He promptly ripped the door off its hinges with his vampiric strength. D stepped inside to find the room riddled with laser-beam traps, and before he was going to plow right through them the lights and lasers shut-off. As soon as they shut off, the emergency lights clicked on, lighting the hall with a faint reddish tint.

"There has been a security shut-down," the speakers blarred, "All Moth Men patrol the corridors for A-Team or any escapees."

D shrugged and carried on with his work, casually walking down the dimly lit corridor entering further into the Biological Research Facility.

"D, you're walking into a trap," spoke D's conscience.

"I know," D replied coldly, "Now be quiet before I cut you off." Suddenly, D's keen hearing heard someone stepping behind him. He turned to face a Yuffie-clone and five Moth Men. D brought his Masamune sized sword down, bringing a Moth Man down with it. D swung his mighty blade four more times, felling four more Moth Men.

The Yuffie-clone threw Conformer at D, which was blocked by a simple parry of the sword. While D was busy with the Yuffie-clone, another Moth Man came up from behind and jabbed its claws into D's abdomen. D recoiled from the blow, and drove his hidden dagger in the Moth Man's heart. The Moth Man fell to the ground, in gorish anime-VHD style. VHD's wounds healed quickly.

"Ah, so you are a vampeel," the Yuffie-Clone said, "Any other man would die from such a wound." The Yuffie-clone narrows her eyes and prepared her ultimate limit, Yuffie Pornography, but before she could finish, a nearby air-duct opened and Agent1469 finished a collison course with her.

Agent1469 stood up and brushed off his nice blue suit. He glanced around.

"Ahh! It's a Yuffie-clone," Agent1469 signed reaching for his shotgun only to find it laying across the room.

"Now you shall feel the wrath of my nude body," the Yuffie-clone announced, "But first to soften you up."

"Doesn't the Yuffie Pornography do that anyway...?" D murmered.

"Hey! I heard that," the Yuffie-clone barked, "I've been facing this stuff all of my life. Everyone always picked on me, because I'm different." The screen became all wavy, like a flashback and stuff. Now on screen is Yuffie at 15 years old, wearing track clothes as the Wutai boys track team line up at the starting line for practice.

"Ok, boys," the coach said with his lips off-synch and still moving after he has finished his dialouge,"The person that gets to the finish line last has to kiss Yuffie Kisargi."

"Noooo!!!!" the boys ran as fast a gold chocobo to the finish line.

The flashback ended. "Those boys became the Wutai Homosexual Men's Track Team."

Agent1469 shot Yuffie with the shotgun that he retrieved during the flashback.

"Hmmm, that's strange... the clones have memories of their original's past," Agent1469 signed.

"Very strange," D replied.

"Just another mystery of science," Zio from Phantasy Star 4 said as he appeared in a puff of smoke, "Let me introduce myself. I'm Zio, the new head of the Biological Research Department, since the last guy left. Oh yes, and if you defeat me I'll award you with these mysterious vials of stuff labeled 'Alys', 'Yuffie', 'Eve', and 'Fox Die'. Now let us fight!" Zio waved his hand in front of him creating a force field. D struck the field with his sword, and Agent1469 with shotgun shells to no avail.

"Killing you would just be too easy," Zio sneered, "So I am!" Zio pulls out a Pokéball. "This is Pokémon #666. A very evil Pokémon, and a Pokémon of pure evil. Dark Force, go!" Dark Force burst from the Pokeball to attack D and Agent1469.

"Bahamut, go!" Agent1469 signed as he released Bahamut, "White Dragon, go! Bahamut, Sun Flare! White Dragon, Pearl!" The Dark Force quickly fell to a barrage of Pearl spells, Sun Flares, shotgun shells, and sword slashes.

"Is that the best you've got?" D said.

"No," Zio said, "Observe." The fallen Dark Force Pokémon morphed into Profound Darkness.

"This is the true power of Pokémon #666."

"Oh, spoony," Agent1469 signed, "White Dragon, Pearl!" The White Dragon cast Pearl on Profound Darkness, with considerable effect.

"Profound Darkness! Black Wave!" Zio barked.

Profound Darkness shot White Dragon with the Black Wave, killing it.

"White Dragon, return!" Agent1469 signed, but then his Pokeball reduced to dust, "What!? You can't permenantly kill a Pokémon."

"The Black Wave is a product of pure evil," D said, "Nothing can heal it."

"Profound Darkness, Fallen Angel!" Zio commanded. Profound Darkness drained D and Agent1469 of all but one HP. "Profound Darkness, Megid!"

* * *

"This Planet originally belonged to the Moth Men. Moth Men were an itinerant race. They would migrate in, settle the Planet, then move on... At the end of their harsh, hard journey, they would find the Promised Land and supreme happiness." Villain #2 reclined in his chair in the pure darkness of the Pentagon. Errant rays of light reflected from his twisted finger tips.

"But, those that disliked the journey appeared. Those who stopped their migrations built shelters and elected to lead an easier life," the shady character continued, "They took that which the Moth Men and the planet had made without giving one whit in return." Villain #2 lifted a glass of water to his face and drank heavily.

Upon finishing, he amended, "And now, they are trying to take the Planet from the Moth Men."

Villain #4 had listened intently to the speech of his colleague, and agreed, despite the blatant Sephiroth paraphrasing.

"Very good," Villain #4 finally stated, "But how is the project progressing now?"

"The so-called 'Agents' continue to interfere with our plans," Villain #2 growled, "But I have some measures in place as we speak." Several other unseen occupants of the room coughed and mumbled in agreement.

A silent moment passed, until, "MWAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAH HAAAA....!!!" roared Villain #2.

"MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAA....!!!" agreed Villain #4.

"MWAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAH HAAAA....!!!" howled Villain #3.

"MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAH HAAAA....!!!" laughed Villain #2.

"MWAH HAH HAH HA HA HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAA....!!!" roared Villain #4.

"MWAH HAH HA HAH HA HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAA....!!!" barked Villain #3.

"MWAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAH HAH HA HAH HAAAA....!!!" guffawed Villain #2.

"MWAH HAH HA HAH HA HA HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAA....!!!" snickered Villain #4.

After Villian#1-4 had given their sorry version of Sephy's speech, Mr.T looked on from an air conditioner shaft directly above the board room.

"I pity the foo' who tries paraphrasing Sephiroth!" Mr.T replied.

"Did you hear something?" Villian #1 asked.

"Nope, no," replied the other Villians.

"I forgot the plan," stated Villian #3, "Could you please tell me the whole thing again?"

"Dangit!" Villian#1 said, "Do I have to repeat the whole world domination plot to you guys for the fifth time?" The other villians nodded in agreement.

"Ok, well, first, you know that we recovered that huge Yuffie/Glover thing encased in amber in that geological stratum near the fountain, and the sample of Eve cells inside of it. Well, with our genetic engineers, we tried to clone this creature, but with all the DNA codes it had that task was impossible. We were able to extract Yuffie DNA from the beast, and only Yuffie DNA. Our first discovery from working with it was the Fox Die virus. Of course, Moth Men are immune to the virus, but humans aren't and it is deadly to them. Unfortunately, it can only work through direct injection, so it's being used as a way to keep our genetic creatures from getting out of hand. Our next creation were Yuffiesaurs, but we were not able to control them. Si we sent them to an isolated island under the ownership of an unsuspecting man named Bob. He named the establishment Yuffrasic Park."

"We used the discovery of cloning Yuffiesaurs as a even greater stepping stone, Yuffie-clones. These creatures were quiet, repulsive and they have been the basis for all of our clones, and they have attributed to finding many new discoveries. Like our Eve clone, and our classified clone. Both products of Yuffie-cells and the Ultimate Tea recipe that we ripped off from Agent Artemis and Shera. These clones could possibly lead us to how to revive the Ultimate Evil."

"They were our two best clones, but they are both gone. The Eve clone was abducted by her creator and I think are somewhere in Manhatten Our classified clone was perfect. If it wasn't for her free will, we could take over the world with her alone, but she would not freely work with us. If it wasn't for her value, we would have already activated the strain of Fox Die in her. Villian #5 is trying to recapture her as we speak."

"What did Hostess pose a threat to us before, anyway?" Villian #3 asked.

"The chemicals in Twinkies can cure the Fox Die disease if mixed with a few hard to find ingredients." Villian #1 replied, "Our first financial method did not work, so now we're just gonna crash a train filled with dynamite into the Hostess Factory."

"I pity the foo' that messes with Hostess!" Mr.T announced. The light from the lamps reflected off Mr.T's gold chains.

"What on Earth?" Villain #4 asked.

"With that amount of light... it must be Mr.T!" Villian #1 shouted. Just before he could escape, the massive 80's icon crashed onto the table below. Mr.T was suddenly surrounded by hundreds of Moth Men and the Mysterious Villianious Four.

* * *

"Oh no!" Agent CAM screamed, "Magus is closing in on us! We're going to die!" Right before Magus brought down his scythe on Agent CAM, the Agent sent the Chrono Trigger to the furture.

"Sucker...." Agent CAM and Celes flew into the future on the wings of the Epoch.

"Damn, they got away," Magus said still in mid-air. Suddenly the Delorian from Back to the Future drove up.

"So, this is 1000 AD!" Doc said.

"Wow, doc, it's pretty technological for its time," Michael J. Fox replied.

"Look, it's a Time Machine!" Lucca pointed out. Immediately the cast of CT beat down the hapless Doc and spoony actor, and took their Time Machine. Magus, Chrono, Frog(Glenn), and Marle jumped into the Delorian.

"Let's go kick that CAM guy's arse!"

Go on to Section 4