Shera's Birthday
By The Great Em
Shera was making some breakfast for her and Cid. Today was her birthday. Hopefully Cid would remember.
"DAMNET! GODDAMN IDIOTS PUTTING IT ON THIS DAY!"
That was most likely Cid Highwind (Wonder what he's mad about now?) Shera mused.
Cid walked in with a scowl, boxers, spear, and nothing else. "CID! Put some clothes on" Shera odered. "Sorry Shera I'm gonna miss you party." He growled. "Some idiots need me to meet them today and I HAVE to go"
"Oh." Shera's whole world screamed to a stop then.
GreatEm: [runs in to the wall] Oops! [Jumps in front of Shera] Hey! It's the pretty lady!
Cid: WHO THE #*$% ARE YOU?!
GreatEm: I'm the Great Em! I'm the writer of this fanfic.
Shera: What?
GreatEm: SIGH in other words I am going to knock some sense into Cid.
Cid and Shera: HUH?
GreatEm: [grabs Shera] Lets see if you can save her Ciddie boy! [Vanishes before Cid can do any thing]
Cid: WHAT! YOU LITTLE !#$%&**@! $#^@<KI:_+{?}+)(^#@RTLIYN:?":PL<<:_{%#@@$#@UT~ !$#1`32490-pp/p-[=-=[$#T!$ ##@@!#@%$#@!@@##$!@!#%#@#@ $$#@!@#@!!@##@@!#@$#~~~~ ~@##$#!##@$@^^*&*()(&((&)(*_+_+"P{: P>L"{:-[;p;-p0l;l[p[po-plpkp,';.[;.'..,m';;]-987764211`<<>?~#@$#^&**&*&* ((*())__++}}{{P"::?>?><< >L!!@@@# %#%#!%#@**&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Runs into his room to get his clothes on then runs outside]
GreatEm: [runs onto the screen] all right people quiet down! [Everyone stops talking and listens] this is my first comedy. Thought this was going to be serious didn't ya? Well as someone once said 'LET THE INSANITY BEGIN!' bye for now, MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Runs off]
Cid: [runs into Avalanche hideout] "@$!$&*)*&)^!#$$><?P{{{}_)(*%#@$~~#%&(_+}:":>?,./..';'[[==-]==0079667651!!!!! "
Cloud: What are you mad about now? [is putting up party decorations]
Cid: SOME B$%CH CAPTURED SHERA!
All: WHAT?
Cid: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? LETS MOVE OUT ALREADY!
Everyone: [gets his or her weapon and runs after Cid]
Elsewhere.
Shera [tided up on a table with only a bikini type outfit on] Why are you doing this?
GreatEm: Oh don't worry pretty lady Ciddie will come and save ya.
Shera: If Dukes of Hazard aren't on
GreatEm: Do thy know he had a surprise present for thee?
Shera: REALLY?
GreatEm: [Nods then starts leaving]
Shera: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
GreatEm: [grins evilly] to get help for moi [starts doing a really cool Kefka laugh till she walks into the wall] !$#$&&(*^#@%(* WALL! [Leaves while Shera howls with laugher]
[Cid and co. are walking around] [Mandrake walks up to them]
Drake: HEY! You guys need any help?
Barret: [looks down at the 2 foot tall Lege] Why would we need a shrimp's help? HAHAHAHA!
Drake: [gets REALLY REALLY mad and casts SUPERSOULNOVABEAM]
Spell: [does about 99,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 times as much damage as super nova]
Red: WOH that is some spell!
Drake: that little thing?
All: .................................
Tifa: LITTLE?
Drake: I have wizards on both sides of my family for about 5,000 years
Cid: [with awe] do you know who Great Em is?
Drake: Yep! And now to help you.
Cloud: How?
Drake: By summoning! WRSGFKUHYMHJFDRMJYHN DFGFXYJFRTEGF EHJJKJCZ SRF FGHJD! [Kain, Cecil, Rosa, Terra, Eager, and Celes appeared]
FF4es: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
Kain: [Is jumping]
FF6es: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
Terra: [is in her esper form]
4&6es: [start fighting]
Cid: STOP FIGHTING!
Vincent: hey you didn't swear.
7es: [stare at Cid]
Cid: There isn't any time for that! Shera is in trouble!
Yuffie: So you DO like Shera!
Cloud: Why else would he have us put up a surprise birthday party?
Drake: HEY! NO DISING THE PRETTY LADY! [Casts LP#9 on Yuffie and Cloud]
GreatEm: short for Love potion number nine!
Yuffie: [falls madly in love with Cloud]
Cloud: [falls madly in love with . . .DAV COLE! No not really he falls for YUFFIE! SPAWN OF JENOVA! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA deep breath HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]
Kain: [finally lands] hey what is going on?
Cloud: oh Yuffie I'm sorry I didn't let you have the materia
Yuffie: oh Cloud I'm sorry I insulted your hair
Both: [start kissing and taking each other's clothes off]
All: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Cid: WHAT DID YOU CAST?
Drake: [in a little tiny voice] Love potion number nine
Yuffie: oh my little cloudy snokumes make love to me right now
Tifa & Aeris: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: [Run away from cloud and yuffie]
Elsewhere. AGAIN
GreatEm: [summon certain people] ALL RIGHT YOU THREE CALM DOWN!
#1: who are you?
GreatEm: I AM THE GREAT EM! Writer of this fanfic!
#2: UHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Why should we listen to you!?
GreatEm; [with out moving does horrible things I can't write down to person #2]
#3: he must become one with the planet.
#1: ............................ Wow
GreatEm: now this is what we'll do.
Back with Cid
Cid: all right Cecil, Rosa, Red, Cait Sith, and Barret go talk to Reeve. Tifa, Aeris, Drake, Edgar, Celse, and Vincent try to cure Cloud and Yuffie. Me, Terra, and Kain will look for Shera ALL RIGHT?
All: YEA!
Cid: Now lets MOVE OUT!
All: [go on their jobs]
Meanwhile the 3 people where looking for Cid
#1: why do we have to do this?
#3: Em said so
#1: other then that!
#2: UWAHAHA... [Gets kicked in the balls by #3]
#3: KEFKA! IF YOU DON'T STOP LAUGHING I'LL KILL YOU!
Kefka: [in a high pieced voice] you're just jealous Sephiroth!
Sephy: OF THAT STUPID LAUGH? IT'S WORSE THEN SCARLET'S!
#1: both of you just shut up.
Sephy & Kefka: SHUT UP GOLBEZ!
Golbez: YOU FIRST YOU !#%!&)^*@&ES!!!!!!!!!
All: [start fighting]
GreatEm: um. go check on Cid.
Kain: so what are your names?
Terra: Terra Branford
Cid: Cid Highwind
Kain: .Kain Highwind
Cid: WHAT!
Kain: Really! I'm not joking!
Cid: hmm aunt Sal used to talk about a Kain Highwind. maybe that was you. But you'll have to be thousands of years old.
Kain: COOL! . Hey THAT IS.
Terra: KEFKA!
Kain: GOLBEZ!
Cid: SEPHIROTH!
All three: Die! [Kain jumps, Terra morphs, and Cid slashes]
Evil dudes: ouch!
Kefka: I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE [gets kicked in the balls by Seph] EEEECCCCCCCKKKKK!
Sephy: Ha! Ha! I always wanted to do that!
Cid: [goes nuts and beats the crap out of all three of them]
Sephy, Kefka, & Golbez: pain.
Cid: ALL RIGHT WHERE IS SHERA!
Golbez: We. don't. know
Cid: !$%^()_++>:?"{+{_(&%#@!@~$&()&*(#@(*<><?"{+{}{]'[p;./,..';[[]0-9786@$#286`192131`54/];~$#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kain: Do the next best thing.NOW!
Sephy: [spells them to were Shera is]
All: [leaves]
GreatEm: Lets check on some one else
Cloud: Harder Baby! Harder!
Yuffie: YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
GreatEm: Um. lets leave, like, NOW!
Drake: O-Kay umm the spell went like.[casts hate potion #9]
Cloud: [goes back to normal] AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Yuffie: [goes back to normal] EEEEECCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tifa & Aeris: YEAH!
Everyone else: WOOHOO!
Drake: Now what?
All: [thinking] . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...
Cloud: Were are my clothes?!
Aeris: giggle
Celes: [looking at Cloud] hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. [Thinking dirty thoughts]
Cloud: WHY ME!?
Were Shera is!
Cid: SHERA! [Stares at her almost naked body]
Shera: [starts blushing] I'm s-sorry
Cid: Ggggggaaaaaa [looks like he is about to um never mind ^_^]
Kain: Who is the chick? [Is admiring Shera]
Terra: KAIN! [Smacks Kain]
Cid: [releases Shera] um I'll just um get you some uh CLOTHES! Yea! That's it! I'll get you some clothes! [Leaves]
Shera: WWWWWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! HE HATES ME! [Starts brawling]
Cid: [comes back with Shera's clothes] Wha? What's wrong?
Kain: she thinks you hate her.
Cid: WHAT! Shrea that is the opposite of what I feel.
Sephy, Kefka, & Golbez: [leave]
Shera: r-really?
Cid: yea. um Shera? [Gets on his knees] [Takes out a small black box] Will you marry me? [Offers her a diamond ring]
Shera: YIPPEE! YES YES YES YES AND YES!
Cid: WHOOHOO! [Kisses Shera]
Everyone else who isn't there: [walks in]
Girls: aaaaaaaaaawwww
Boys expect Drake: eeeeeewwwwwww
Drake: Well FINALLY!
At the wedding
Minster: do thou Cid Highwind take Shera for thy wife?
Cid: HELL YEAH! .DUH!
Minster: . Shera Stargazer do thou take Cid for thy husband?
Shera: OH MY, YES!
Minster: you may now kiss
Cid & Shera: [kiss]
Everyone: [starts yelling and cheering]
Later
Shera: [throws her flowers]
GreatEm: [flowers land in her lap] [stare in horror] NNNNNOOOOOOO!!!!
Rei [from Breath of Fire 3]: [to GreatEm] hey what to dance?
GreatEm: COOL! [Starts dancing with Rei. ^_^]
9 months later
Cid: [picks up phone & dials]
GreatEm: hello?
Cid: EM! Guess what.
GreatEm: What?
Cid: I'm a father of a new baby girl!
GreatEm: REALLY! WHAT IS HER NAME?
Cid: Emily Amber Highwind!
GreatEm:.. COOL!
Cid: Bye now! [Hangs up]
GreatEm: but YOUR name is Emily!
Me: THAT IS THE POINT! MWHAHAHAHA!
THE END!
Writing by the Great Em and Her maker Emily!
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