Mr. Highwind's Neighborhood
Written by Seifer1080
*screen fades in from black to show a model of Rocket Town*
*the camera switches to inside Cid's house*
(Cid walks in and sits down)
Cid: Hey all you stupid kids!
Kids in Audience: HI MR. HIGHWIND!
Cid: Do you all know what it's time for?
Kids: MR. HIGHWIND'S NEIGHBORHOOD!
Cid:That's right!
(He glances at the script)
Cid: *whispering to director* You mean I gotta sing this *%^#?
Director: Yep.
Cid: Man......awright.
Cid: *singing*
(To the Tune of the theme to Mr. Roger's Neighborhood)
It's a beautiful day in Rocket Town
It's a beautiful day for some smokin'
Want a cigarette?
Oh well, then screw you!
Cid: *tossing the rest of the song to the side* Blah blah, yadda yadda, beautiful ^%*#^$@ day, etc.
Kids: YAAAAY!
Cid: Oh, look kids it's time for the Highwind to arrive!
Kids: YAAAAY!
(A model of the Highwind comes out on stage on some train tracks)
Highwind: Ding ding!
Cid: Oh look, there's a note attatched to it!
(Cid takes the note off of the Highwind)
Highwind: Ding Ding! *goes back behind stage*
Cid: *reading the note out loud* "Cid sucks."
Kids: *snicker*
Cid: HEY! Which one of you little *&^$(^#^&*$#^ did this?
(One of the kids points to Cloud, who is sitting in the audience trying to look like a little kid)
Kid: HE did it!
Cloud: *in a little kid's voice* Hi Mr. Highwind!
Cid: *picks Cloud up by the collar* *&^%! Get out there and act neighborly, *^&**^~!
(Cid throws Cloud out the door)
Cid: *sits back down* Now it’s time for-
(A little kid in the audience raises his hand)
Cid: What?!
Kid: What does *&(%&*$ mean?
Cid: Ummm.....uh...it means...
(Tifa runs in from backstage)
Tifa: He said....um..... ‘trucking’
Cid: YEAH! That’s it. I said ‘trucking’ not *&(^*%$......oops.
Kids: *laughter*
Cid: Well, Tifa, while your out here, why don’t you tell the kids a story?
(Before Tifa can object, the kids form a circle around her like sharks around an innocent scuba diver)
Tifa: *sits down in a chair* Umm....oookay....what story?
(The kids yell out the names of various stories)
Tifa: How about Cloudarella?
Kids: Cloudarella?
Tifa: Yep! Here it goes: the story of Cloudarella.
Cloudarella (As told by Tifa)
(A girl who looks mysteriously like Cloud in his Wall Market drag queen clothes is cleaning the house)
Narrator (Tifa) : Cloudarella was always treated bad by her older stepsister, Aeris.
(Aeris walks in the room)
Aeris: Hey you!
Cloudarella: Um, yes, Aeris?
(Aeris takes a can of paint conveniently sitting on the floor and throws the paint all over the walls)
Aeris: You missed a spot! Hahahahaha!
Cloudarella: *starts crying*
*The scene shifts to that night*
Narrator: That night, there was going to be a ball at the castle nearby, and
Cloudarella really wanted to go
Cloudarella: I really want to go to that ball, but how can I with no new clothes?
(Yuffie appears behind Cloudarella)
Cloudarella: Whoa.....who are you?
Yuffie: I’m, like, your fairy godmother!
Cloudarella: Oh, fairy godmother, I need new clothes for the ball!
Yuffie: No problem! *she mumbles some magic words*
(Cloudarella’s clothes are transformed into the same clothes as Yuffie’s)
Cloudarella: Umm....that’s fine, I guess.
Yuffie: Good. Now be back before midnight, or your hair will become spikey and you’ll become a man!
Cloudarella: Okay, sure.
*The scene shifts to the ball*
(The guests cheer as Vincent walks onto the dance floor)
Cloudarella: Ohhhh....it’s Prince Vince!
Narrator: Prince Vince and Cloudarella danced for a while. It was 11:59 when
Cloudarella looked at the clock.
Cloudarella: GASP! I have to go!
(Cloudarella runs away)
Vince: Hey, wait!
Narrator: Just before she reached the door, Cloudarella’s hair shot up into spikes, and she became a man.
(Yuffie apppears in front of Cloudarella, who is now Cloud)
Yuffie: I told you so!
The End
*the scene shifts back to Cid’s house*
Tifa: So that’s how Cloud’s hair got spikey.
Cloud: *yelling from outside* THAT’S NOT TRUE!
Tifa: Don’t listen to him kids, he’s just insane.
Kids: Why?
Tifa: Because he’s depressed.
Kids: Why?
Tifa: Because he couldn’t join SOLDIER.
Kids: Why?
Tifa: Because his hair sucks.
Kids: Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?
Tifa: AAAAHHHHH!
(Cid quickly runs in front of the camera)
Cid: That’s all the time we have for today, kids!
(Cid flashes a big smile)
Cid: See you tomorrow on Mr. Highwind’s Neighborhood!
*screen fades to black and credits roll*
Characters copyright Squaresoft
Story copyright Matt Cloninger (Seifer1080)
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