Section 5

Cloud forced his bloodshot eyes to remain open though they burned and begged him for sleep. He couldn’t sleep here. Not with her sitting across the room from him. Not with the liar just waiting for his guard to be let down so she could wheedle her way back into his heart. He would never be so stupid again. He would never let himself be hurt by another again. It always came down to this. What was he to do?

“Cloud, don’t do this to yourself,” she said, her voice soft yet loud enough to echo through the spacious room. “Aeris is the one lying to you. I would never do anything to hurt you. I… I….”

“You what?!” he snapped, his voice bitter with the resentment wrought from years of repeated pain and suffering. “You love me?” He laughed sharply. “Nobody loves me. Nobody cares that I get hurt and hurt and hurt. You think that I don’t know what people think. They look at me, and they say to themselves, ‘What a poor, poor guy.’ But do you think they actually care?” His eyes narrowed. “That’s not care; that’s pity, and I receive a helluva lot more pity than I do care. And do you know what’s sad? I repeatedly mistook that pity for love.”

Tifa shook her head. “I love you. I do.”

“You do,” he muttered. “What’s in love? A bed of roses and a box of chocolates. A bloody holiday.” He snorted. “A pool of pain when those roses have wilted, and the chocolates are gone, and the bloody holiday is little more than an empty yesterday. I don’t need that. Hell, I’ve already got my fill of wilted roses with cutting thorns. And I’ve stuffed myself silly with those damn chocolates. My stomach hurts, Tifa. And I think I’ll take the cake for a collection of beautiful empty yesterdays. I keep looking to the future, you know? I looked so long and so hard that when I finally glance back over my shoulder I find nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

“It’s better than the hurt I feel when I look back and see all the things I never said and all those moments lost along my way,” she said. “I wish I could go back and change something, anything, to make that pain go away. But it’s always there, gnawing at my innards. It’s always reminding me of a promise made beneath the stars. Not the one that was spoken, but the one that we shared with each other in our silence. The quiet vows that we’d always be there for each other. But we’re not, are we?” She felt the tears stinging her eyes. “It makes me wonder if we ever will.”

Cloud grimaced as he thought back to the gap in his memory. He wasn’t there for her when she needed him the most. He wasn’t there to help her recover from the pain of Sephiroth’s betrayal and the hurt of her father’s death. He couldn’t help her physically or mentally because he wasn’t there. He was never there. He was the fleeting promise made between a mother and her son that they would keep in touch as they slowly drifted apart. He was the promise he had made with a friend a long time ago. If I’m ever in trouble, come and rescue me. Some rescue he had been. Abandonment. What had he done? Or hadn’t he done? He couldn’t have kept that promise. Zack was gone, probably dead. You can’t keep a promise to someone you let die, could you?

Zack drowned… green drowning… Cloud closed his eyes tightly shut, trying to block away a parade of unwanted memories. Five years he would give anything to forget. Five years in a green hell, a haze of pain and feverish dreams of escape. What had they done to him there? What had he let happen to the friend he promised to help whenever they were in peril?

“Cloud…” Tifa murmured. He felt her hands brush his cheek, but he could not recall seeing her move to him. His eyes were closed too tightly for that. He felt the soft caress brush away a wetness he could not recall crying. This couldn’t be pity, could it? Pity was felt from a distance, something that was played out like a child visiting the zoo. Don’t get too close. This was too close for pity. Far too close. It had to be that other thing, the one true emotion he felt but had never thought he received. Was this the thing she called “love”?

He wrapped his arms around her, filling the empty space in his heart with her presence. He was complete now, more so than he had ever been before this time. He had never known that something, that someone, could fill that hole in his soul so well as she. And as she filled the emptiness brought about from years of being hurt and alone, a sudden realization came over him. This was far better than anything Aeris had to offer. The truth stung, and lies were so much easier. Was it selfish to want to be with someone because it felt good, because it felt right? Lies could be right, couldn’t they? He chuckled in his thoughts. Look at him, he was living proof. A lie so intricate and so fitting that it had become the truth. Who needed truth when you could make your own?

“What are you doing?” The voice snapped him from his reverie, making him pull back from Tifa’s warm embrace. She was always doing this, always sneaking up on him. His eyes hardened as they met with Aeris’.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he retorted, his voice hot with anger. He stood defiantly, standing against Tifa shakily though with a grim determination. “You can tell me all the filthy truth you want. I think I’ll stick to the lies. When you’ve lived your life as a lie, I guess making your own truth just comes naturally.” A smirk lit his features. “I like these lies.” He nodded, his shock of hair swaying with his head. “I like them a lot.”

Aeris frowned. “Lies are lies, regardless of how much you like them. You can’t dwell in illusions all your life, Cloud. Once you start to stay there within them, you’ll see what I mean. She’ll show you things, and you won’t be able to stop her because you’re just as blind to the truth as a bat is to the sun.”

Cloud shrugged emphatically, making her grind her teeth at his slow and deliberate indifference. “At least I’ll be happy for a short while which is something more than what I’ll be with you.”

Rage flashed cold in Aeris’ green eyes, and her hand slapped across his face with a resounding whack. “How dare you!”

Tifa wanted to rush forward to maim, beat, and smash Aeris to a bloody pulp, but a force held her back. Snaking tendrils of blue clutched at her hands and feet, holding her paralyzed to the spot. Her brown eyes were hot with anger.

Cloud shook the ringing from his ears as he turned back to Aeris, his jaw set. “So this is what it’s like to be loved,” he said softly. “I always needed to be needed, you know. Needed to be beat on by the woman who always had a special place for me in that blackened organ she called her heart.”

The next few blows were quick and hard, strong enough to knock the wind from his lungs. He doubled over as a well-calculated punch rammed into his gut, bubbling pain in his stomach and abdomen. He wheezed as he straightened up a bit in an attempt to regain his composure. His efforts were met with a nasty uppercut. His teeth clacked together, blood pouring from his mouth as they cut into the soft flesh of his lower lip. The force sent him sprawling backwards until he hit the ground with a resounding thud. He rolled onto his side, moving too slowly in his haze of pain. The iron taste of blood choking him caused him to spit up a river of crimson as he lay on his side. Fire erupted in his chest as Aeris’ foot caught him right over his sternum, giving him the overpowering sensation that his heart was dead in his body. He gasped for breath as another kick hooked into his ribs. He couldn’t breath.

He slowly slithered in the general direction of Tifa, moving slowly through the red blur that ran over his vision. Somewhere along the line, his older injuries had burst open to spill their rivers of blood over the hard marble floor. He didn’t know when; he didn’t care. Oblivion was already creeping up on him, a dark fuzz on the corners of his sight.

He wondered if he had truly broken his promise to Zack. Had Zack ever truly done anything to help him during that eternal hell. He had been there, he had been a friend, but what else? Nothing. No help in escape, no help in beating the people who sought to control him. And where was Zack now? Dead? Chickening out when the going finally got tough? Had he made a promise that was broken by an incorrigible craven?

Darkness washed over him like the cooling waves of the sea. He didn’t break a promise to Zack; he had made one to Tifa instead. Love was more powerful than any friendship. It was the best kind. And if what he thought now was a lie, than it would be just one more of his truths. Just one more for his collection. Just one more for his love.

Reno rocked back on his heels, feeling as though he had just received one of those nasty left jabs to his kidney. He didn’t know whether the blow was more mental or physical; Reeve’s profitable request certainly knocked the wind out of him. He attempted to recover any scrap of composure he had left, hoping that he didn’t look like he felt. He cleared his throat, pounding on his chest once.

“Uh, okay, well, you caught me off guard with that one, Reeve,” he declared, a small nervous chuckle entering his words. “You wanna repeat that once more?”

Reeve frowned, lightly tapping a pencil on the hard wooden surface of his desk. “You heard me right the first time, Reno. I’m re-hiring you and the rest of the Turks on that job. Go out and find me the Black Materia.”

Elena’s frown was deeper than Reeve’s. “You want us to go back out there and risk our butts to get you that damn thing? No way. No bloody way.”

“I think I’m offering a square price with you, but I can make it more if you want me – ”

“We don’t want your gil, Reeve,” Elena snapped, cutting him off before he could finish the offer. “That materia is a curse. We don’t want anything to do with it.”

Reno glanced at Elena, his features darkening. “Who says? Maybe we’re gonna do this because it’s the right thing to do.” He looked back to Reeve, nodding slightly. “We’ll talk the job.”

“Now, wait just a damn minute here, Reno!” Elena ordered curtly. “This thing almost got you killed. You can’t honestly say that you’re going to do this because it’s right. It’s not right! This job plays out like a broken piano!”

“I know what this job means.” Reno frowned at her, his eyes cold behind his dark glasses. “We’re taking it. You can do what you want; I don’t care. I’m going to find that sucker and bring it back here before it can cause anymore havoc.” He turned his back to her. “Who had it last?”

“Reno – ”

“Who had it last?!” The ferocity of his rage cut through all the background noise like a warm knife through butter. He shook with anger, breathing slowly and surely as he tried to scrap the last bits of his exterior cool. He leaned forward over Reeve’s desk, looking at the man over the top edge of his sunglasses. “Who was last seen with the materia?” he asked, his tone quiet and slow.

Reeve pointed the pencil to a small television set which portrayed a freeze frame of a young girl amidst surrounding chaos, a small glittering orb shining brightly in her hand. Reno glanced at it once more. The scene was all too familiar. The laboratory.

Reeve couldn’t resist a smile. “Yuffie Kisargi.”

From somewhere within the confines of a small room she had already begun to classify as a cell, water dripped constantly, running across the white stone of the ceiling until the cohesion of the little droplets was no longer powerful enough to hold it up, and it splattered into a small pool on the floor. It was the only sound that permeating through the air; it was the only thing that marked the passing of time. A small drip to count off the minutes as they ticked by like the tick of a hand on the old grandfather clock in her old house.

The dripping water reminded Tifa of the well. She hadn’t known how to tell him back then. She was so private with her feelings after her mother had died; she didn’t want to feel the hurt that a broken heart could cause. How foolish she had been. Shattered love hurt whether it was voiced or not, but how was one so young supposed to say the words “I love you”?

Well, now she had, and he had let her come so close to him. Not just physically, but he had let her come close to his heart. She had glimpsed into his broken soul and tried to fill those holes that bled his livelihood like the trickle of water from the ceiling. She had looked and had not liked what she saw, but she could help him heal. Her love could help him heal if only he let her remain that close to him.

She had no doubts that he would.

She just wished he would awaken now to share this revelation with her.

“Aeris is going to pay for this,” she whispered, running her hands through Cloud’s soft hair. She loved how it bounced back into its place after her caress passed over it. She loved its jagged edges and ferocious spikes. She loved how it represented a small part of him that was still the little boy trying to be a hero and trying to show how manly he was. He was a hero. He was her hero.

She lay down beside him, wrapping an arm around his chest, ignoring the dirty, blood-crusted garments he wore. It didn’t matter. They were both dirty. She couldn’t suppress a small giggle. In the movies, the heroes never got dirty and the women they saved always had unwrinkled dresses. Those stories never turned out to be true, but something had happened between Cloud and she. Somewhere along the line he had saved her. Not from mortal peril or from life’s cruel tricks, but from her own loneliness. After Nibelheim it had threatened to consume her, to steal her very life. It almost had. But he had been there, in her thoughts and dreams, and finally in person to keep her from the edge. She couldn’t count the times she had sat upon the jagged cliffs of Midgar just wanting to end it all with the one giant leap of faith which would let her finally escape the despair of being alone in the world. But she could never bring herself to end it all, and she found herself often looking up into the night sky so reminiscent of the night he had made his promise and thinking that every day he saved her was every day that he had kept his promise.

He had saved her mentally each and every night. When she had found him, he saved her from her loneliness with the flash of an understanding smile or a grin at a jest they shared over one of her drinks. It wasn’t the mutual companionship she shared with Barret. It was deeper than that kind of care. God, had it taken her five years to realize that it was love?

Cloud moaned softly, turning his head to face her as he opened his beautiful blue eyes. She smiled softly as the pain that was hidden deep within those cerulean orbs was lessened as he gazed deeply within her. Her light fingers brushed away the blood running from the side of his mouth.

“You kept your promise,” she whispered. He had a right to know. She had known that that promise had hurt him deeply. He always thought he had failed her. How could he ever think that? He was the best thing that ever happened to her. “You saved me.”

Confusion glowed brightly within his shimmering eyes. “What are you talking about, Tifa?” he asked, shaking his head slowly. The pain returned to haunt his features, somehow pulling the skin tight around his face, adding years to his complexion. “I never had the strength to save you,” he muttered, tearing his gaze from hers. He bit his lower lip.

weak, pathetic… never did have the strength, did you…

“You don’t know anything, Cloud,” she declared in response.

“I know I…” He took a deep breath and groaned, physical pain bearing over the mental anguish.

She put a finger to his lips, silencing him. “Shh. I know.” Her brown eyes found his once more. She wished she could away his hurt. She wished he could have just a little peace of mind for once in his grief-stricken life. She could give him some, couldn’t she? Nothing could compare to the power of love, right?

Leaning forward, feeling his breath hot on her lips, she kissed him. He made no move to stop her, nor did he kiss her back with a mimic of her fervor. She wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but she decided that it could mean nothing bad. She broke the kiss, making a trail of smaller kisses, barely more than delicate caresses of her lips, down his cheek and back to his ear. The cold metal of his earring bit into her tongue as her mouth enveloped the soft flesh of his earlobe.

He shuddered against her.

It took her a moment to realize that it wasn’t out of pleasure or love, or even lust. His body wracked with sobs, tears leaving a salty trail as they were squeezed out of the corners of his eyes and down the side of his worn face. She pulled away from him, wondering if she had done something wrong. If he didn’t want this, if he didn’t love her, what kind of fool had she just made herself out to be? How had she just destroyed the brittle nature of their relationship she worked so hard to build? She resisted the temptation to go run to the dark corner of the cell and just cry.

She rolled away from him, pulling her arm from where it had lay across his chest. He caught her hand before she could fully drag it from him, however. He sat up, finally meeting her watery gaze with his own tear stained eyes. His lower lip trembled as he fought back a sob. What could she possibly see in him? He was such a pathetic fool. And what trap had she sprung for herself by following her love and finding him here? Her death was awaiting her now. There was little that could prevent that now. He wished so many things could be undone, but that past was etched in stone. No truths could be made for that mistake.

Why did she have to love him?

He shook his head slowly. “Just hold me,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he let go of her hand. She didn’t pull her fingers from his, instead squeezing them in reassurance. She sat up as well, coming close to him once again. She wrapped her arms around his body, pulling him into her warm embrace. He hugged her tightly back, unable to stop the flow of tears from his eyes.

She kissed him once more on the forehead before she started to rock him back and forth to the melody of a peaceful lullaby they could only imagine. The only song they heard was that of the dripping of the water from somewhere in the darkness. She swayed him slowly, her head sinking low on his shoulder as his rested comfortably against hers. She swayed until sleep claimed his weary body, slowly taking him away. She swayed until his tears melted away in the peaceful slumber of a fatigued soul that had finally come upon something that could mend its hurts and heal its wounds. She swayed until once more her thoughts were her only company.

She felt the tears bite her eyes, but they weren’t the same cold ones that had stung her eyes all those lonely nights. She wasn’t alone. Not anymore. The warm liquid running down her pale cheeks was from joy. She had finally faced the truth of her feelings. She had finally seen the truth of his. She leaned back onto the ground which no longer seemed as hard or jagged, and she joined him as he slept within the confines of her arms.

Aeris turned her back to the door, her heart throbbing as she felt tears well up in her eyes. Why did Tifa always get to love him? All she did was lie to him time and time again. It was more than just the compulsive white lie that was often made to be a jest; it was the lies that bound a man to a false fate, the controlling lies that weren’t entirely untrue. How could he love her after all the lies she’d told?

Aeris frowned as she ran a fingernail across the chipping stone of the windowsill. She flicked a piece of dirt out into the air absentmindedly, watching the darkening skies off to the horizon. How could she make him see the light of truth when Tifa wrapped her lies about him like the black storm off in the distance? What could make him look at the mirror’s reflection instead of through it?

Her nails tightened around the sill until her knuckles turned white. Right now she wanted something to snap. She wanted something to fall into place like it should. Cloud was being too resilient and the White Materia was out for its own gains even though it had no need for anything of material value. Nothing was working right. She wondered if killing Nygel had been such a good idea after all.

She shook her head to her thoughts. Nah. Killing him was the one smart thing she had done in Midgar. Letting him live long enough to stash the cloned Black Materia had been the one stupid thing she had done. Maybe she should solve this problem like she had Nygel’s loyalty problem. Killing Tifa would leave him only with her.

But, then again, if he had grown so attached to Tifa, he would surely be lost and possibly very angry with her. No, that wasn’t the way to go. He had to see the light before she killed Tifa. A smile lit her lips, a small twitching at the corners of her mouth. If he saw the light, he could kill her. Then, if by some chance he regretted that action, there would be no one to blame but himself. She could live happily with that.

She turned to the small room. And as for the nuisance White Materia… she had plans on how to take care of that. Plans that would distract the small team of peons that sought to free Cloud and Tifa from her clutches and possibly kill a couple of them in the process. It wouldn’t be a loss she would mourn.

“Go, my child,” she murmured, her eyes locking with the cold serpentine gaze hidden within the shadows. “Wreak havoc on the denizens of the world. Show no mercy to them for they are the foul beings who seek to destroy us. No harm will come to you, borne of steel or man or from the Planet itself. And when you have plundered as you wish and eaten your fill of men’s charred flesh, recover the power which was once ours. We will have our Promised Land.”

The creature seemingly grinned cruelly, its scales glittering as it stepped into the dim candlelight. Talons clicked on the floor as it made its way to the window, stretching its wings to their extent before folding them back together. Aeris rubbed its obsidian head, marvelling at how perfect she had made her creation. Twisted together from the very darkness that settled deeply within the hearts of men, it knew no flaws. The anger and hatred, prejudice and greed, that claimed men knew no flaws. It was those deep temptations, it was those horrific sins, it was complete evil.

It jumped from the windowsill, sailing downward until its wings caught an updraft onto which it could lazily soar. It grew in size as it flew onto the deep horizons, swelling as he became closer to the dark emotions from which it fed until it was no longer a small dragon dwelling within the darkness. It was now a creature of destruction. The people would feel its fury and bleed for its hunger.

It was headed straight for Boneville.

“So what happened to the Gay Boat?” Red XIII asked, his lips twitching as he fought back a smile. He knew it wouldn’t make it. Too bad he hadn’t made any bets. He could be rich. Intellect over confidence.

Cid sighed, leaning back against the large console of flight controls and stretching his feet out in front of him. “It’s spread for about a mile over the ocean. It worked like the charm I never had.”

“That well, huh?”

Cid rubbed his eyes with his hands. “Oh, shut up. I got us here, didn’t I?”

“That’s open for interpretation,” Jerry interjected, smiling smally as he looked down on his captain. Some of the crew openly laughed.

“Next time you can all pile into a ruddy, ole piece o’ crap, and I’ll take my baby,” he declared, patting the deck beneath him.

“You will, will you?”

“You bet. Get your asses back to work.” Cid pushed himself from the deck on the Highwind, standing. “Go fix something.”

Jerry glanced around the bridge of the ship. “Everything’s working fine, now, thank you. How’re you?”

Cid glowered at him. “Find something to do. If nothing needs fixin’ then I’ll go an’ break something for ya. How’s that for service?”

Jerry glowered back. “Pretty crappy if you ask me. I think you’re having an emotional reaction to the loss of your Gay Boat.”

Cid opened his mouth for a comeback, glancing behind the pilot to the scenery beyond him. Glowing bright red on the horizon, billowing black smoke into the air like a rabid chimney, was the remains of Boneville. He pushed himself around Jerry, grabbing the controls of the large ship.

“Boneville’s burning!” he shouted, pulling everyone from their own thoughts. Skipping all the preflight checks and routines, he gave the new and improved jet engines a cold start. Thankfully, they cooperated with him for once in their lives and started smoothly, launching the ship into the air and sending them flying towards the ruin.

“The two love birds wake from their mid-afternoon nap,” Aeris commented, leaning back against the wall of the cell. “How sweet that they could share these last moments in their stain-glass world together…” Her tone grew hard. “Because I’m about to shatter it with the cold indifference of reality.”

Cloud stared at her, feeling the wrath growing stronger within him. Every time he looked at her, he felt his anger and distaste for her like bile crawling up the back of his throat. She hadn’t taken everything from him. He wouldn’t let her take Tifa. Not now, not ever.

“What do you want?” he growled, careful never to take his eyes from her. She was the snake that was settled quietly in the tall grass, whose bite was harmless until you realized it was laced with poison. He had had enough of her venomous words to last a lifetime. He didn’t want to hear them, he didn’t want to feel their sting anymore.

“My dear Cloud, I’ve already told you what I want. I want you to wake up and smell the coffee.” She jerked her head in the direction of Tifa. “She wants nothing more than to control you with her lies. Why do you think she repeatedly tells them to you? You love the lies, don’t you? Why is that? Because they’re far less painful than the truth. I can help you live with the truth, Cloud. You don’t always have to be her lying puppet.”

Puppet… the word echoed through his head with a fit of laughter.

i told you, silly puppet… didn’t i tell you… do you see the truth, puppet… or is proud cloud still too proud to look?

Cloud ground his teeth in rage. “I’m nobody’s puppet,” he snarled.

Aeris smiled weakly. “Oh, yes, you are. Your strings are just too tangled for you to realize that they are there. Every single little lie she’s told you binds you to her, and with every single one of her lies you make your truth, you help her tie you down. You’ve been her puppet for an eternity, Cloud, because she couldn’t let you go. She needed to be a controlling force in your life. She is now. Do you want to cut the strings?”

Tifa frowned. “Don’t play your sick little mind games with him,” she ordered. “He deserves more than that.”

“Do he deserve to be more than your little doll to wring and twist?”

“He isn’t!” she snapped. “I love him.”

Aeris’ face quivered with barely contained disgust. “You love him,” she repeated, twisting the words into a mockery. “Which do you love more? The way he makes you look at yourself and see something more than a lost bar wench, or the power you can control his very thoughts? I’m really quite curious about this.”

“I bet you are, you bitch.”

Aeris sighed, producing the small sea green globe of materia. The Holy Materia. It pulsed brightly as she displayed its power to them. It knew where it had to be for the balance. It knew its purpose. “It wants you, you know,” she declared. “It wants to be you forever, Cloud. You are the reason it was created. Let it cut the controlling strings. Take it and be your own. Nobody’s puppet, Cloud. No more strings.”

He stared at the green sphere of power, uncertainty digging its cold claws into his mind. Nobody’s puppet… it was so tempting. What would it be like to think for himself? What would it be like to live in the light of truth instead of surrounded by lies? Was it worth it?

take it, foolish puppet… you’ll feel its power, it’s yours… it’s ours… to have and hold and wield against ourselves… we can destroy it together… take it and live in the dark… take it and conquer it, conquer the light… take it so the world can live in black… forever and always… take it…

His hand reached out to the materia, slowly moving towards it as if it was a precious gem. He wasn’t entirely sure why he wanted to feel its sleek coldness enclosed in the palm of his hand. He didn’t want to live in the darkness his mind promised; he didn’t want to destroy the light. But something compelled him to grasp its sleekness.

His fingers closed around the small orb.

Aeris grinned as Cloud’s eyes widened with the surge of power pounding through his veins. The light and the dark… her Destroyer was nearly completed. Of course, there were loose ends she needed to take care of, first. She needed the White Materia so that the Black and Holy would not totally ruin his mind in their quest to destroy each other. And then there was Tifa. She could deal with that problem right now.

“Kill her.”

It loomed on the horizon, encased within the destruction of Boneville. Fires raged around the creature though it was not scorched by the heat of the flames nor choked by the dark blanket of smoke which created a wreath about its head. It felt the White Materia’s presence before it saw the ship coming up upon the horizon. It tilted its head back and roared a challenge.

“That bastard!” Cid growled, relinquishing the controls to Jerry as he moved to the front of the deck. “Thinks he can total a town and get away with it?”

The creature was easily the size of the Highwind, its scales glowing with the blaze burning around it. Blood stained its pearly teeth a dark crimson as it ate its fill of the people of Boneville. Snapped bones, some from the uncovered remains of a prehistoric creature and some fresh from the bodies of the newly dead, littered the ground, mixed in with the burning debris.

“Open missile tubes one and two!” Cid ordered, grabbing the rail with an iron grasp. He raised one fist clenched into the air. “Fire!!!”

Nothing happen. No action of friendly missiles towards their foe. Cid turned to Jerry, deadly ire clear within his blue gaze. Jerry swallowed.

“We don’t, ah, have any missiles, sir,” he stammered, a cringe slowly appearing on his face.

“You *&$%#$@ waste of *&$%#$@ crap! What the hell do you mean ‘we don’t have any missiles’?! What kind of crew is this?! What do you want us to do?! Throw bloody rocks at it?!” He turned back to the dark dragon. “Damn it!”

The dark roared in response as though it was laughing at them before wrenching a large metal beam from where it was lodged in the ground. It tossed the beam at the Highwind like it was an effortless action. Cid resisted the urge to duck as the beam sailed above his head, narrowly missing the top of the ship.

“Ha! You piece of crap! Your aim sucks!” He turned back to the people on his ship. “I can throw better than that with both my arms tied behind my back!”

Red XIII feigned enthusiasm. “Some feat there, Cid.”

The captain merely bowed to the red creature, avoiding a piece of brick to the head. He turned back to the dragon. “Missed again!” He broke down into sputtering laughter.

Cid’s laughter cut off sharply as a sickening sensation came over him. He had felt it before at the Seventh Heaven that night before. It was the imbalance of light and dark. He knew what it was now. The voice inside his mind had told him. He grimaced as the dragon sprang into the air, pumping its wings as it flew away from the carnage it had caused.

“Turn the ship around,” he ordered. “Go back to the city.”

Barret stepped forward. “Now wait jes’ a minute here. We gotta stop that thing before it destroys something else.”

“No, we don’t.” He glanced back to the city, obscure against the black background of clouds. “We gotta stop Aeris before she kills us all.”

“What?!” Tifa demanded, immediately standing and backing away from Cloud and Aeris. “No!”

Aeris sneered. “You heard me, Cloud. Cut the strings, sever those ties that bind you to her lies. Kill her.”

Cloud’s chin quivered as the voices escalated to shouting in his head. kill her… kill her… you can’t trust her… trust is death… kill… kill… He didn’t want to. He loved her. He couldn’t kill the one he loved. Tears burned in his eyes. Was it the only way he could free himself from being a puppet? By killing his love?

Aeris turned and pulled the Ultima Weapon from where she had carefully concealed it. She handed it to him, smiling in satisfaction as he took the large sword from her hands. The glass globe fell from his hands and shattered on the floor. It was like his own world, slowly coming to pieces, breaking into smaller and smaller bits. It was like all the lies he had listened to all his life. Was it time to trade his fiction for fact, or was this all a lie as well?

“Finish it, Cloud.”

Water poured from his eyes. “I can’t.” His arms quivered as he tightened his grip over the familiar hilt of the Ultima Weapon. The blade shown brightly, casting a halo of light around Cloud as though he was the bright Angel of Death ready to unleash his ire upon the selfish sinners of the world. “I won’t,” he whispered. It wasn’t him slowly rounding on Tifa; it wasn’t him about to drive the sword through her like he had done with Cid. It wasn’t him… it wasn’t.

“Cloud,” Tifa whispered, her eyes locked on the wicked edge of the sword. “Don’t.”

Cloud raised the sword slowly. “Oh, God, Tifa.” His voice became laced with desperation. “Run! Run!”

The sword came crashing down.

Aeris’ eyes gleamed with pleasure.

It clanged sharply against the hard stone floor, jarring Cloud’s arms.

Tifa was gone, running. And running.

“Ya still haven’t quite explained what’s going on.” Barret grumbled as he trudged through the archway that marked the entrance to the City of the Ancients.

Cid frowned as he picked a direction. “You’re guess is as good as mine,” he declared, sliding down a small incline that was built from loose rocks. “It probably ain’t good, though.”

“Hey, you seem to know somethin’ the rest of us don’t so spill it.” Barret’s eyes narrowed as he stared at the back of the pilot’s head.

Cid turned around to meet Barret’s gaze. “I dunno anything that I haven’t told you already.” He started walking again, rounding a corner.

A force caught him off-guard, knocking him backwards. The force fell over him as he lost his balance and tumbled to the ground. His head hit the ground with a crack. He grimaced. I’m gonna feel that in the morning, he thought, rubbing the back of his head with one hand as he pushed himself into a sitting position under the heavy body of a familiar person.

“Tifa, what the hell…?” Barret muttered a few more choice words under his breath in confusion. “What’s going on here?”

Tifa pulled herself from the entanglement of limbs, standing shakily. As she gasped for breath, her heart pounded both from the exertion of her muscles and from an undeniable fear. It wasn’t a craven’s fear for her own life, but she felt the horror deeply for what had happened to Cloud. What had Aeris done to make him do things against his will?

“Barret! We gotta help him,” she stated around her gasps.

“Huh?”

Cid stood, wiping himself free of dirt and dust. He shook his head. “Cloud, you idiot.”

Barret’s face tightened in anger, but he ignored the comment. “Where is he?”

Tifa shook her head, glancing back down the way she came. Hundreds of twists and turns and forks in the road made it suddenly seem that much hopeless. “I don’t know. I wasn’t exactly leaving a trail of breadcrumbs.”

Red XIII clicked his teeth together in thought. “I don’t think we should move from here until we know where we’re going,” he declared, swinging his head around to look at Tifa.

“Nah, that don’t matter,” Cid said, starting to walk again. Tifa followed suit, the others at her heels. “She’ll come to us when she’s ready to play.”

“The moment of truth is upon us,” Aeris declared, wringing her hands in anticipation. “You do know what happens next, don’t you, Cloud?”

He didn’t answer, his eyes blank as he clutched the Ultima Weapon with a white-knuckled grasp. What had he done? Why had he done that? There were no answers to his question just like there hadn’t been one to Aeris’. The voices battling inside his head was all he heard now, and they gave him no answers, only orders. Like Aeris had. And he carried them out like any good soldier. Had he lost the ability to question immoral orders, or had he actually wanted to play the part of the puppet once more?

 puppets with strings that are cut will make more… they can’t survive without the guiding light of another because their will has been oppressed…

because they are weak… wills matter not in the world where strength rules all… wills are meaningless unless they can be backed up… silly puppet has no strength… except his pride…

“Go away,” he muttered, dropping the hilt of the Ultima Weapon as he clutched at his head. The arguing voices inside his head began to scream at each other, spiting each other at every turn of their disagreement. There was nothing on which they could agree. Absolutely nothing. And their screaming and shouting and hissing and fighting was threatening to rip again his mind.

He would do anything to make them stop. “Go away,” he murmured though they would not heed any of his words. “Go away, go away… leave me alone.”

Aeris feigned sympathy. “Poor Cloud. Do you enjoy long, satisfying chats with your psyche, or is this just a passing phase?”

Cloud scowled. “I hate you,” he declared, clenching his teeth with his barely contained rage. He wished he could just take the large sword sitting by his side and just kill her with it. One, easy stab. But he couldn’t. The reason he couldn’t was another one of those questions with no answers. He wanted to; he just couldn’t. “Why?”

Aeris’ eyes flashed with anger. “Make sense, Cloud. ‘Why’ what? Why do you hate me?” She smiled wickedly. “Or why you can’t defy me?” He glowered at her ability to read what he was thinking. “Oh, that’s it, huh? You can’t kill me, Cloud, because I am the world to you. Without me, you are nothing.” She paused. “And you know that, too.”

Cloud took a deep breath, standing up, his sword in hand. “Then I’ll be laughing my head off when you’re burning in Hell.”

“I doubt it.”

He bit his lower lip, sweat beading on his brow in concentration. He tried to raise the sword up so he could somehow attack Aeris. He wanted to. He knew, and they knew it. But they wouldn’t let him.

don’t kill her…

we need her…

we don’t want to be puppets…

… puppets…

His eyes narrowed at their words. Don’t want to be a puppet, huh? He sneered angrily. Neither do I.

His rage broke their control for a second during which he swung the sword wildly at Aeris with one thought in mind: kill.

Aeris stumbled back as the fine point of the Ultima Weapon sliced along her face. The wound burned, and she let a small yelp of pain. Her hand touched her cheek where blood was now flowing freely from a long gash along it. She smeared the crimson stickiness on her fingertips, frowning as she looked back to Cloud.

“You are unpredictable, aren’t you, Cloud?” she asked, seemingly indifferent to the situation. “Oh, well, we can fix that.”

“You aren’t going to fix anything, Aeris. Cloud is perfect the way he is.”

Aeris turned slowly, slightly surprised to see that Tifa had brought along a few more of her friends. And the White Materia. This was too easy. Her eyes glowed with mirth. “Him? Perfect? Oh, don’t make me laugh. He’s about as perfect as a one-winged angel.”

“Perfect to me,” she growled.

Aeris shrugged. “You want him? You can take him home.” She leaned forward conspiratorially. “He’s a little crazy. Go easy on him, huh?” She looked back to Cloud. “Go on, go home to your Tifa.”

Cloud looked around tentatively, expecting some sort of a trick. She wouldn’t let him go. She “loved” him far too much to let him escape with her adversary. Escape by himself, so she could reward him with a whack for his ingenuity, that she would allow. But never this. It had to be a trick.

Tifa was thinking the same thing. “What do you mean?” she asked. “You wouldn’t want your favorite prize to slip through your fingers like that. What do you have planned?”

Aeris shrugged. “Oh, nothing. Just plain curiosity. I was just wondering how he would react when he saw his new best friend. Say hello to Cid Highwind, Cloud. He has something you don’t want.”

Cloud’s eyes scanned the small group huddled near the door of the room. They finally locked on Cid’s, blue on blue. They stared into each other’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Cloud’s mind screamed for him to do something.

kill him… the puppet’s master…

kill him… the one controller…

he’ll take us, break us, make us his toy… kill him before he kills our will…

cut the strings…

… puppet… puppet…

All Cloud felt, however, was an indescribable rage, coursing through his body like the blood in his veins. He had only felt this anger once before at the Final Dungeon when he had been fighting with him. When he had faced him alone on the tiny plane, the puppet against the master. He didn’t know the truth value of that statement; he didn’t even know if he had been real or just some figment created by his imagination because his mind needed a sense of closure. It didn’t matter. It was happening again. He wouldn’t let it.

A red halo shone around him, lighting all corners of the room with an incandescent glow. The crimson light disappeared in a flash of pure white, a color that seemed to lull the room into peace. It was cut by a war cry erupting from Cloud’s mouth. The world was shocked back into reality as the Ultima Weapon sliced through the air quickly and accurately, an indistinct blur of white and green.

But not one blow actually hit its mark.

Cloud growled an oath in increasing anger, jumping up into the air to slice down into this unbeatable foe. His sword raised high, he started for the killing blow, wanting more than anything for the stings to be cut. With this death they would be cut. Silence blanketed him as he descended upon the puppet master. With this cut, he would be free.

Cid watched Cloud attack him dispassionately. Funny how it hurt so much the first time Cloud betrayed him and how he was doing nothing this time but turning the other cheek. It wasn’t really Cloud this time. It was a man torn between light and darkness. It was a man who needed something to sew the halves of him back together as one. He knew what would be the thread. He knew what would be the needle.

Cloud rose high in the air with what would be the killing blow. The arc of the Ultima Weapon never touched him, never scratched his flesh, never drew any blood, but he felt his life leave him as the pure white light returned to banish the darkness from the room.

One final whisper from the light of the Planet filled his head. I’m sorry.

He slowly shook his head, the blinding light filling his vision. No, you’re not.

The white faded to black.

Cloud dropped the Ultima Weapon, holding his hands about him as though he could feel the light like it was something tangible, something palpable. The tendrils wrapped around him with soothing care, so different from the yanking clutches of the Lifestream as it had ripped his mind apart.

Now his mind was being pieced together.

No voices. No screaming Planet to fill his ears with its throes of pain. No soft whispers that spoke to him and told him things he’d rather not hear. No thoughts intruding on his own. Only blessed silence. And a dim purpose.

So this was what it was like to be a puppet.

The light faded, the darkness coming back to creep into the corners of the room, a dismal presence. But, even in the dark, everything was suddenly clear. The lies which had been told to him were banish from his mind, leaving him to coldly pick the truth. Not his truth, not something he had made to relieve himself of blame. The Planet’s truth. He looked, and he saw, and he knew what needed to be done.

He picked up the Ultima Weapon, ignoring the unmoving body of Cid Highwind. It was cold, he knew. But puppets couldn’t have feelings simply because they were being used. When you were being used, you didn’t think for yourself, and you had no regrets. No regrets.

Feeling the comfortable presence of his weapon in his hands, he turned from the group watching shocked from the door. His eyes found the two emerald orbs that stood defiantly against him. A smile lit her lips.

“Find the Promised Land for me,” she whispered, her voice shaking with only one emotion. Fear.

Cloud shook his head slowly. “You can’t find it,” he declared, a chuckle in his voice. “Not in life. I can get you there. I can let you dwell within it for an eternity. Do you want to find it?” His blue eyes glowed coldly. “Do you want to die?”

Aeris took a step back, but she couldn’t run from him. There was nowhere she could go that would make her far enough away from him. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. His purpose was clear. He would give her what she asked. He would give her the Promised Land. She steeled herself for what was coming.

The darkness crept up on her, twining around her body, stealing her heat with its cold void. She felt tears streaming down her eyes as the cold approached her head. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she cried, her tone quivering.

Cloud shook his head slowly. “Nothing ever is.”

The black engulfed her entire body, an oppressive tyrant that crushed her very livelihood. Her scream was silent as her soul was leached away from her, her warmth and light being sapped by the darkness, her mind slowly destroyed. The dark was broken by the light.

A holy explosion rocked the darkness, ripping apart her body as the black had her soul. It filled the whole room, far to bright to be looked at directly. The people watching Cloud’s destruction shielded their eyes from it, looking away as though it was a bright star shining within a curtain or forever black. Cloud looked at it, satisfied that a part of his job was completed.

The light melted away, giving passage to the normal light and darkness of the room. Lightning illuminated the room in a blinding flash, casting a dark silhouette along his impassive face. Rain scoured the earth in an unnatural thrum, the clouds’ anger released in a torrent of destructive power.

The heavens shook with rage, for, borne of the flesh of man and the blood of the Planet, the Destroyer had been forged to unleash his power and wreak havoc on the world.

The Destroyer had been created, and the Planet trembled in fear.
 

© Junj, 1998

Go on to The Giver of Life